by D. M. Cupp
“Just because he was staring at me doesn’t mean that he’s interested in me in that way. I can’t help it that guys like to stare at me when I dance the Cupid Shuffle. It doesn’t mean that he’s gay.” I said laughing.
Even though San Angelo was a small conservative west Texas town it was still a college town and that meant a lot of diverse college students. The Wild Nights club was a gay-friendly establishment and it was normal to see gay couples kissing and no one said anything because the management wouldn’t stand for intolerance.
“Nice dance moves earlier,” said a baritone voice said stopping at our table.
Donna and I were in mid conversation and didn’t realize anyone had walked up to the table. I looked up at the man and recognized the man that had been staring at me earlier on the dance floor.
I felt Donna kick me under the table. I hadn’t realized that I had just been staring up at him, but hadn’t said anything to his compliment.
“Oh thanks. I just love that song. Play it and I just have to stop what I’m doing and have to dance.” I said smiling
“Maybe I’ll have to get the DJ to play it again so we can dance together later.”
I laughed nervously, “Yeah that would be cool.”
“Save me a slow dance later?”
“Sure. I’ll be here.”
“Talk to you later papí,” he said and walked back towards his group of friends at a table across the bar.
“Oh my god he’s so cute!” Donna said after he walked away. “I definitely think he’s gay and he is hot for you papí.” She said calling me the nickname that he had used.
“Stop it.” I said blushing. “We’re here for drinks and dancing do you remember and not to find me a man.” I said reciting the words she had spoken at the house.
“Boy he asked for a dance not a date.” She said laughing and looking over her shoulder towards the man’s table.
“Very subtle Donna,” I laughed burying my head in my hands.
After another drink Donna and I were dancing to every song and probably looked crazy, but we didn’t care. We were here to have a good time, and that’s exactly what we were doing. We were dancing to all the pop songs, the Tejano songs, country songs, and everything in between. It had been about an hour since that man had talked to us at our table, and I thought that he had left because he hadn’t approached us since, but suddenly there was a tap on my shoulder as Donna and I were in the middle of a country two-step song.
“Mind if I cut in ma’am and dance with your friend,” the man from earlier asked Donna.
“Not at all,” she said smiling and walking back to our table.
The song ended and changed to a slow country ballad. The man held out his right hand for me to take and finally I took it as he placed his left hand on my waist and gently pulled me closer.
“I’m Javier Fuentes.” He told me leaning closer to my ear to be heard over the ballad.
“I’m Daniel Miles.”
We danced in silence for what seemed like forever but in actuality was a mere seconds.
“I’m normally not this forward, but you’re really cute.” Javier said smiling gently at me then looking away.
I smiled back at him, “thank you. You’re not that bad looking yourself.”
“I was afraid to come up to you earlier, but I couldn’t help from looking at you when you first started dancing and then you caught me staring at you. I thought that you were here with your girlfriend or something.”
“Who, Donna,” I asked. “No she’s my best friend from college, but come to think about it how did you know she wasn’t my girlfriend?”
Well I watched you interact at your table and you seemed more like friends. So I finally got the courage to go up and talk to you and all I could think of was ‘nice dance moves’ and when you just stared at me and your friend had to kick you under the table I thought that it was a safe bet that you weren’t a couple and most likely were gay.”
“You got that all from a stare?” I asked smiling at him.
“Yes.” He said matter-of-factly.
I couldn’t help but smile at this man. For the first time in a while I was happy for a brief moment I wasn’t thinking about the events of the past month and a half that had taken me down a depressing road. Donna had been right. I didn’t need to worry about trying to find a new man, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t have fun. I wasn’t the type of guy that planned a future with someone the first time meeting them, but I did have a feeling that Javier was going to be a good influence on me and help me get out of this rut that I had been in.
As the last few seconds of the song began to play I found myself sad for the song to end, “Thanks for the dance.” I said.
“We don’t have to stop dancing together. Go get your friend Donna and we can continue dancing together.” He said smiling.
I thought that it was sweet that he had remembered her name and invited her to join us. Most guys would have only thought of themselves and not want a third wheel, “Okay.” I said as I walked back to the table to get her when I stopped mid stride and walked back took Javier by the hand and gently led him back to the table with me.
“Donna this is Javier Fuentes, and he would like for you to join us on the dance floor.”
“Nice to meet you ma’am,” Javier said extending his hand.
Donna shook his hand, “Please call me Donna.” She stood and followed on the dance floor.
The three of us danced for the rest of the evening until the DJ announced that he was playing the last song. I hadn’t realized that the evening had flown by so quickly and that two o’clock came so quickly.
When the lights came back on and the crowd began to disperse Javier pulled me close so he could be heard over the crowd, “Can I have your number?”
I hadn’t expected this. I mean I had thought about giving him mine or asking for his, but every time I did I thought that it was too soon to be thinking about that step. However, I had to take the first step sometime and now seemed as good of a time as any.
“Yeah,” I said smiling.
Javier pulled out a pen and handed it to me.
“Do you have paper?”
“No,” he said shaking his head and handed me his hand.
I held his hand in mine and wrote my number on his palm. I couldn’t help but notice the smoothness of his hands and I wondered what they would feel like caressing my skin.
“Can I have my hand back?” he asked laughing.
I didn’t realize that I was still holding it, “I’m sorry. I was thinking I guess.”
“It’s okay. I had a great time tonight.”
“Me too, thanks for making it fun, and asking me to dance.” I said turning toward where Donna was standing near the door.
“Daniel?” Javier called.
“Yeah,” I responded turning back towards Javier.
He took the few steps to close the gap between us and pulled me close and gently kissed me. His lips were soft and I was right about him knowing how to kiss passionately. I was lost in the kiss until he pulled away.
“Buenas noches,” he said with a gentle smile.
“Good night.” I said and turned towards Donna who was now smiling from ear to ear.
****
Donna didn’t say anything on the car ride home, but knowing her the questioning would come later. She knew I was still processing everything and wouldn’t be able to answer the questions that she wanted to ask.
Ten minutes later I was closing the door to my bedroom behind me and beginning to strip the clothes off my exhausted body. I put the clothes in the hamper and pulled down the covers to my bed. The cool sheets felt good against my bare skin and I reached to plug my phone to the charger when I saw a text message:
Hey its Javier had a great time tonight sleep well papí :).
The text message made me smile and was a great way to end the evening. I wanted to think of something cleaver to respond. Something giddy and playful, but all I cou
ld think of:
Me too papí I’ll be dreaming of that kiss.
Before I could change it I pressed send and set the phone down. My heart was racing and I was right I did dream about Javier and that kiss.
Chapter Four
I awoke Saturday morning with a smile and for the first time I was actually happy. I wasn’t thinking about a relationship or anything, but I was finally able to think about a future after Charles and Daniel. This was the start of a new chapter in my life.
I remembered the text from Javier from last night and how he continued to call me papí, and the kiss. I couldn’t stop thinking about those lips; those delicious, seductive, and kissable lips. I resisted the urge to grab my phone and check if Javier had texted me again. I didn’t want to be disappointed if he hadn’t and I didn’t want to be pushy and text too soon.
My bedroom had a door that connect the guest bathroom to the bedroom so I didn’t have to go into the hall; which was nice since I slept in my underwear. Donna and I were best friends but even we had our limits. I wasn’t letting her get I glimpse of my goodies basket and I didn’t need to view her mountains of majesty.
My morning shower was just what I needed to jumpstart my day. I lathered my hair with shampoo and began to soap up my body. As the suds began to be washed away by the warm water I began to think of Javier and the slow dance. The way his hands felt placed on my hips and the way his warm breath felt as he whispered into my ear to be heard above the music. I took a deep breath as I began to feel excited and knew that I was infatuated with Javier. Javier was my new Latin fantasy, my Latin papí. I smiled as I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower and began drying off. I was proud of myself that I had been able to wait to check my phone until I had finished showering and the rest of my morning routine.
My weekends were always busy and never seemed long enough. My workweek was not a typical eight to five like most students hope to believe when they major in education. There were faculty meetings, department meetings, and if you were the lucky teacher selected for an extra-curricular activity the days ran longer. After graduation I had accepted a teaching position at the local high school teaching speech, but in the past five years I had encouraged the principal to expand the communication department and to start offering a curriculum that included advertising courses, television/radio/film courses, and debate. Just this year I had finally gotten the school to form a communication department and I was selected to chair the department and had a team of five other teachers working in the department.
I typically spent Saturdays relaxing, spending time with friends, and running errands; while Sundays was the day that I dedicated to preparing for school, grading papers, finishing lesson plans, catching up on emails, and any other administrative responsibilities.
Walking back into my room I walked over to the nightstand and picked up my cellphone and saw there was text message from Javier:
Good morning Papí.
I broke into the biggest grin thinking that he’d texted.
Good morning to you too.
I sat the phone down and I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt like I was back in high school. The feeling that you got when that special someone texted, passed you a note, or just looked your way. I hadn’t felt this in a long time.
I sat down on the bed beginning to think about my relationship with Charles and thinking about the last few months leading up to the great discovery. I tried to pinpoint a single event that would have been a clue that something was wrong. I should have known something wasn’t right. How could I have been so blind? I had spent five years with this man and still I couldn’t think of anything. We hadn’t grown distant like most couples talk about when a long term relationship ends. Charles and I had made love regularly and the passion was still there…well for me it was still there.
I shook my head I couldn’t think about this again. I wouldn’t allow myself to slip back into this line of thinking. It wasn’t my fault that Charles cheated. It was his loss and I would be better off without him.
My phone vibrated and I looked down and saw that Javier was calling me. I was going to hear his voice. The negative thoughts that were just occupying my thoughts vanished at the sight of his name and the goofy grin reappeared.
“Hey,” I answered trying to sound causal.
“Hey Papí, hope you slept well.”
“Yes I did. Did you?” I asked.
“No I didn’t.” He said matter-of-factly.
“No?” I questioned. “I’m sorry.”
“Well you should be sorry because it’s your fault I didn’t sleep well.”
“My fault…how is it my fault that you didn’t sleep well?” I asked curiously.
“Well I kept thinking about our kiss and wanted to talk to you all night, but I had to wait until this morning. Do you know how long I waited to text you good morning?”
“How long were you waiting?”
“Just right after I had texted you last night and told you I had a great time.”
I smiled at his sweetness, “Well you’re talking to me now.”
“Do you have plans today?”
My pulse began to quicken. I didn’t want to rush things but at the same time I knew that I wanted to see him again.
“No I don’t have plans. Just to enjoy today before tomorrow because tomorrow is the day before Monday.” I said laughing.
Javier laughed too and he had the sexiest laugh. I never really understood when people said that other people had a sexy laugh until now.
“Do you want to have breakfast with me and maybe spend the day with me?”
That sounds great. Meet you at IHOP in about fifteen.
“Sounds good Papí; can’t wait.”
****
That evening I looked up at the ceiling as I laid in bed thinking about the day I had spent with Javier. We had met at IHOP around nine o’clock and I hadn’t gotten home until about twelve hours later. We had spent hours talking over breakfast. The conversation was nothing deep like past relationships, but general questions about favorite music and movies; which then spun another line of questioning embarrassing moments. Javier had me laughing so hard that my sides were hurting and I was in tears.
After breakfast we had went browsing the booths at the local flea market and then went to the mall where we went shopping for some new clothes. Javier had me in stitches when he decided that he had to model some of the ugliest clothes. The sales people looked at us annoyingly but changed their attitudes when we actually bought items.
After buying some new clothes Javier took me by the hand, and led me to a booth in the food court. A man was drawing animated cartoons of people and Javier had convinced me that it would be fun. My heart began to race again as Javier grabbed it and led me to the booth, but at the same time it felt natural to be holding his hand.
You would have thought that we would have ran out of things to talk about but at six that evening Javier turned to me and asked if I wanted to get some dinner. For the first time that day I thought of Donna and how I hadn’t seen her before I’d left and that she probably would be worried, but I quickly dismissed it and accepted Javier’s invitation for dinner. We spent hours talking about our childhoods, coming out stories, and anything else that would keep us together a little longer.
At nine that evening Javier dropped me back off at IHOP where I had left my car twelve hours earlier.
“Thanks for an amazing day.” I said turning to look at him.
“Papí, you are the one that gave me an amazing day. I can’t wait to see you again; maybe on Friday? We could see a movie or something?”
“That’s sounds like fun. It will give me time to recover from all this laughing.”
“I can’t believe you laughed at all my hurtful stories.” He said taking my hand in his.
“I’m sorry but you have a lot of funny stories and the fact that you ran into a glass door while you were sober; well I’m sorry that had me in tears.” I said smiling.
> He lifted my hand to his lips and gently kissed it, “You have a great laugh.”
“Thanks, I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.”
Javier stared into my eyes and leaned in closer and for the first time since the night before we kissed. The kiss was more passionate then the previous night and I knew for a second night in a row I would be dreaming of Javier’s lips and this kiss.
As I continued to lie in bed staring at the ceiling I began to think that my sad days were finally behind me and that maybe I didn’t have to give up everything and move to Austin. Maybe I could move on with my future right here in San Angelo. I could form new memories. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep finally feeling happy and with hope that the worse was finally behind me.
Chapter Five
I woke up on Monday continuing to feel a sense of happiness. I didn’t know where things were heading with Javier but at the moment I didn’t mind the unknown. I was content with the endless possibilities.
I didn’t get to see Javier on Sunday because I forced myself to stick to my routine and prepare for the upcoming week. He did text me and it was hard to stay focused on my work. Every text made me break into a smile and laugh at his goofiness. He had sent pictures of himself seating on his couch watching television, folding laundry, and finally one of him shirtless as if he was about to jump in the shower. Each photo was followed by a funny caption attempting to guilt me that I was leaving him alone all day on a beautiful April Sunday. I had responded to his pictures by sending him a picture of me behind a pile of paperwork, another one of me with the television turned off, and finally one with my shirt off about to jump in the shower. His response to the last one was that we could conserve water and shower together with a wink emoticon.
I had no words to respond to his final text. Javier was absolutely wicked and tempting at the same time. Instead I told him that I couldn’t wait to see him on Friday and that I hoped that this week would fly.
***
I hated Mondays. They were not only the start of a new week but they were my longest day of the week. Mondays started with my seven o’clock faculty meeting, a department chair meeting at eight o’clock, classes starting at nine o’clock, and ending the day with a department meeting at four-thirty. Not to mention the work that I had to do once I arrived at home to prepare for the following day, but I loved my job and my students and I really wouldn’t trade it for anything.