by D. M. Cupp
I couldn’t say anything. I had lost the ability to speak. All I knew was at that moment I had to leave. I had to get fresh air. I was feeling the walls closing in. I stood and ran out of the apartment.
Chapter Fifteen
I knew that it wasn’t Javier’s fault. I knew that we had both been pawns in Charles’ game; like pieces on a chessboard to move at his whim. However, I still couldn’t bring myself to talk to Javier, and Lord knows that he had tried. I had avoided his calls on Sunday and ate in my classroom to avoid him at school.
I paced in front of yard. I hadn’t seen him since Saturday night. All the emotions that I felt were flooding back in and I couldn’t seem to find a way to shut them off. After pacing for about fifteen minutes and beginning to feel like the neighbors would start to call the cops for suspicious behavior I got the nerve and knocked on the door.
“Well it took you long enough,” he said opening the door and greeting me. “I was wondering how long it would take you to get up the nerve to knock on the door.”
“Hi Charles,” I said coldly. “Can we talk?”
He stepped aside and allowed me to enter our old apartment. He was wearing his black lounge pants and his old college fraternity tee shirt. It definitely drew attention to his muscular frame and it use to always make me lose my ability to speak around him.
It was weird being back inside because he had kept everything the same. He led us to the living room, “Would you like something to drink?”
“Water would be great,” I said wishing that I had taken a shot of something stronger before I came over.
Charles returned a minute later with bottled water and sat on the opposite end of the leather sofa.
I took a drink from the bottle attempting to find the right words to explain my feelings of hurt and pain that I have kept bottled up since that fateful day.
“I’m sorry,” Charles began.
I wanted to be strong and yell or scream, but all that vanished and my eyes began to water, “I loved you with my whole heart and you lied.”
“I know. We had been together forever, and I knew that we were moving in a direction that meant marriage and kids, and I got scared. We had been together since college and I wanted to be sure that-”
“You wanted to sow your oats and act like you were in college again. You wanted to be able to be ‘Chuck and you like to fuck,’” I said reusing the same pick up line that he had used when we had first met. “If you didn’t want marriage or kids then you should have just told me. I’m a grown ass man and could have handled it.”
“You’re right I wanted to be that easy going college guy that didn’t have any commitments to deal with, but I didn’t want to lose you either. I guess I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.”
“The sad thing is Charles is that you not only disregarded my feelings, but you used someone else, and you used your middle name so what? You wouldn’t get caught?”
“You have every right to be angry. I was a complete asshole. I wanted the best of both worlds and thought I could get away with it. When Javier and I first started dating it was just like when you and I started. It was fun and exciting…and new, but when you caught me I knew that I was an idiot and that I had made the biggest mistake of my life.”
“You brought him here,” I said raising my voice. “You had sex with him in our bed,” I was yelling at this point and felt my face turning red. “We were leaving that day to celebrate our anniversary, and the sad thing was you hadn’t touched me in months. I always had to be the one to start to get you in the mood. Now I know why…you didn’t want to be with me.”
I turned to face him and he was looking at me with tears in his eyes. “I can’t take that back. I can’t fix that mistake. All I can ask is that you can find a way to forgive me. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I was trying to find a way to end it and that’s why I wasn’t having sex with you because I felt guilty that I was cheating on you.”
I sat back down. How could I just forgive him after all the pain that he caused me? “How many times did you bring him to our home?”
“It was just that once. I guess I was looking for a final time so we could celebrate our anniversary and start fresh. I was planning on ending it with Javier that day.”
I couldn’t believe him. He could say what he wanted, but I never would know the truth. All I could accept as his version of the truth that he was offering me. But at the same time I wasn’t looking for reconciliation with Charles I was looking for closure.
“So you and Javier are dating?”
“We just started? Not that’s any of your business.”
“I know that it isn’t. Don’t you think that it’s weird to date the guy that your boyfriend cheated on you with?”
“Well I didn’t learn that little fact until Javier told me Saturday after we ran into you at the store. Remember you told him that your name was Patrick so it wasn’t until seeing you in person that he was able to put all of the pieces together.”
“I see…are you happy?”
I looked over at him and for a moment I felt some of the anger slip away, “I’m extremely happy. I now know what it’s like to be loved as much as I love someone. It wasn’t until I left that I realized that you didn’t love me the same way that I loved you.”
“I know you won’t believe this, but that’s where you’re wrong. I loved you so much that it scared me. I came from a family that was broken and I was scared that you and I wouldn’t last if we had gotten married. So when Mari started working with me and asked about my personal life and had a brother she wanted to set me up with I saw it as my chance to see if we would work.”
“So you cheated to see if you loved me?” I asked grasping at his logic.
“I guess you could say that.”
“Oh Charles,” I sighed. “YOU’RE AN IDIOT!” I yelled. “That isn’t how you prove your love for someone. It’s for better or for worse. Not until you get bored with someone.”
“I told you it was a stupid reason. I was just some stupid fraternity guy when you met me. It wasn’t supposed to last more than a few months but it did and we got comfortable.”
“Well thanks for the explanation that I had been missing.” I said standing from the sofa and walking towards the door.
I reached for the doorknob when Charles grabbed my hand and spun me around and pulled me into his arms and kissed me.
“What are you doing,” I asked pushing myself away?
“I love you Daniel and I made the biggest mistake by cheating on you. Come back to me.”
“I love Javier. Goodbye Charles.” I said turning towards the door and leaving closing the door behind me. I leaned against the exterior wall and caught my breath. I had to admit that kiss was not expected, but I knew that it compared nothing to what Javier and my kisses share.
***
I nervous to see him, but I knew that I had to talk to Charles and get closure first. The dismissal bell rang on Wednesday and I made my way through the halls towards the foreign language wing of the school.
Javier was sitting at his desk looking over papers when I walked into the room, “Hey stranger,” I greeted embarrassed that I couldn’t think of a more cleaver greeting.
“Papí,” Javier whispered standing from his desk.
I closed the door behind me, “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.”
“I understand. It was a shock to me learning that I was the reason for your relationship ending with Charles. I know how you must hate me.”
“Babe, you didn’t end my relationship with Charles. If it wasn’t you it would have been someone else. I saw him last night.”
“Are you okay,” he asked taking several steps closing the distance between us.
“Yeah, he told me that he cheated so he could figure out if he wanted to marry me.”
“What an idiot. How could anyone cheat on you? You are the most amazing person I have ever met.” He said placing his hands on my hips. “To be honest,” he whispered, “I’m g
lad he cheated on you because then we wouldn’t have been together. I’m just sorry I was an idiot and didn’t realize I was being played too.”
“Well I called him an idiot too, and I’m glad that I’m with you too. Let’s go home.”
“I can’t wait to get you home.”
***
I led Javier to his room after he had opened the door to his apartment. I unbuttoned his dress shirt and slid it off his muscular frame and began to fumble with his belt and sliding his dress pants down his strong thighs. I dropped to my knees and released Javier’s growing dick from the designer jock that was holding it.
Without hesitation I took it him all the way to the root and for the first time in days I heard him release a moan of pure ecstasy. I got into a rhythm with my mouth and felt Javier’s hands play with my hair as he moved my head in sync with my rhythm.
Javier was moaning and mumbling incoherent sentences and then for the first time began to speak Spanish. I had never made another guy speak a foreign language just from blowing him.
“Te amo papí. Fuck papí, I’m gonna cum.”
I sucked faster and tightened my suction and within seconds I felt shots of Javier’s cum hitting the back of my throat. I slowed my rhythm until I felt Javier’s cock began to soften.
Javier pulled me back up and pulled me into a passionate kiss.
“Do you still have those condoms we got the other night?” I asked in between kisses.
“Yeah,” Javier answered his lips pulling into a smile.
“Good because I finally want to make love to my boyfriend.” I said stripping out of my clothes.
Javier retrieved the condoms from the night stand and lay on the bed on his stomach. I straddled him and started by kissing his neck and working my way down his spin.
When I reached his firm ass I knew what I wanted to do. It was the most sensitive part of the male body with the exception of the head of an erect penis. I slowly began to rim him with my tongue and Javier released a whimper.
“Papí, that feels amazing.”
I didn’t say anything but continued to prep his hole. After I felt Javier was going to jump out of his skin from stimulation I grabbed the condom and lube next to me. I knew that Javier would be tight since he had not bottomed with me before and I wasn’t asking what his and Charles sex relationship consisted of.
As I aligned with his entrance he pushed back on me and as we connected and became one soul I moaned myself.
“Aye Papí, make love to me.”
“That’s my intention, babe.”
Our love making lasted for a good half an hour and he would tease me by flipping me on my back and riding my cock close to explosion and then slowing down his rhythm. After about ten minutes of teasing I sat up without pulling out of him and rolled him on his back and fucked him until I came inside of him.
We collapsed from exhaustion and fell asleep still intertwined with each other.
Chapter Sixteen
I don’t know how long we had been asleep, but when I awoke I felt as if I had overslept and was late for work. I really hated that feeling, but looked over at the clock on the nightstand next to myside of the bed and saw that it was only seven o’clock. I turned my head towards Javier’s side of the bed and saw him staring at me.
“You’re really beautiful when you sleep.”
I started to blush and lost the ability to speak briefly, “Am I now?”
“You have no idea.”
“How long have you been awake?”
“Not long. Just long enough to fall a little more in love with you,” he said smiling.
I couldn’t help but smile and realized that I was falling head over heels with Javier Fuentes.
“Papí, I was thinking about our future, and you spend more nights here than you do at Donna’s and my lease is up at the end of July. What do you think about searching for a place of our own?”
“You don’t think that’s too soon?” I asked smiling.
“Some might, but I know that I want a future with you. My parents only dated for two months and it worked for them, and I believe that when you know you just have to take a leap of faith.”
“I feel the same way, and I like the idea of having our place and not just moving in with one another.”
Javier broke into a huge smile and leaned in to give me a kiss but I pulled back, “Babe I have sleep breath. Let me brush my teeth first.”
“I don’t care if you have sleep breath. I want to wake up with you for as long as you will allow me, and I intend to get a morning kiss before either one of us get out of bed,” he said resuming his lean inward and gently turning my face towards to his and kissed me gently on the lips.
***
“He asked you to move in?” Donna asked holding her cup of coffee leaning against the kitchen counter a couple of days later.
“Not move in, but find a place of our own.” I corrected her.
“That’s even better. I knew you two would hit it off.” She exclaimed smiling as she brought the cup of coffee to her lips for another sip.
I couldn’t help but smile. Every time I mentioned, thought about or heard anything about Javier I would break into a giddy smile that made me look like a schoolboy with a crush. But what could I say I was a schoolboy with a high school crush. The only thing that I wasn’t doing was doodling Javier and my names in my binders.
“So when is this happening,” Donna asked, “not that I want to rush you or anything.”
“I didn’t think you were, but not until the end of July. That’s when Javier’s lease is over at this apartment complex.”
“Well do you know where you two are going to look?”
“I have no idea.” I confessed but I couldn’t help but get that excited twist in my stomach.
“So are you going to introduce Javier to your parents?” Donna asked.
I was stunned by her question because she knew of my strained relationship with my parents. We spoke a few times a month, but my relationship or life-style was never the topic of conversation.
“What would make you ask that?”
“Well if you and Javier are getting serious don’t you think that you should at least introduce him to your side of the family?”
“They wouldn’t accept him,” I replied softly.
“Well you never know until you at least try, and if they don’t accept you two as couple then that’s their loss and you will never have that doubt in your head about ‘what if.’”
I knew that she was right, but this was definitely something that I needed to discuss with Javier first because if he didn’t want to meet my parents I wasn’t going to put him through that torture.
***
I had been working up the nerve to ask Javier about meeting my parents for the past week, but I was continually chickening out.
I had told myself there was no reason to bring it up until after school let out and graduation was over because neither of us would have time to go down for a weekend with finals and posting grades, but now the two of us were driving home from graduation, and I had no other excuses to hide behind.
I had been nervous mentioning meeting my parents because the last time that I had met his parents it had not turned out so great, and didn’t want a repeat. I closed my eyes took a deep breath and looked over at Javier as he was driving on the loop back towards his apartment.
“So speaking of parents,” I started.
“We weren’t talking about parents,” Javier said smiling glancing in my direction.
“Oh, we weren’t?” I said turning back towards the passenger window glancing outside.
“What are you trying to ask, but are too afraid to?” Javier asked smiling placing his hand on my left knee.
“Well I know that I don’t have the best relationship with my parents, but they are my parents and you are the most important person in my life and I want them to know about you. So I was wondering if you wanted to go down one weekend to meet them over dinner, but if
you don’t want to that’s okay. I would completely understand after the last meeting of the parents.” I said in one big breath.
“Of course I want to meet your parents, and I know what you’ve said about your parents not being that open minded and not accepting of you. I don’t expect them to greet me with open arms but they have to be somewhat better after meeting what’s his name?”
I looked over at him, “really, what’s his name?”
“Sorry, that was a bit childish. They would have to be a little bit more accepting after meeting Charles. So at least I wouldn’t have been the first guy they’ve met.” He reassured smiling over at me.
“Yeah, about that, you would be the first guy. I never introduced my parents to Charles.” I said avoiding his gaze.
Javier cleared his throat and began to loosen his tie, “So I would be the first? That’s fine. I want to meet the people that raised such an amazing person.”
“You do,” I asked in shock.
“Of course,” he said looking over at me again.
“Well maybe we could go down this weekend and get it over with?”
“Papí, it’s not like going to the doctor and getting a shot.”
“I’d rather get the shot then have dinner with my parents.” I said laughing a little. “I mean I never introduced my parents to Charles because I didn’t want them to criticize my life, and maybe deep down I knew that he wasn’t the one and didn’t want them to get the impression that gay men couldn’t have serious relationships.”
“I understand that. Call them when we get home, and it’s not like we have school anymore. We’re free men until August.” He said smiling again.
I loved his smile and laugh. I loved everything about Javier Fuentes.
***
I had called my mom and dad and asked if they would be available to meet for dinner the following weekend when Javier and I were coming into town.
My mother sounded just as excited as I was to be having dinner with me and my boyfriend as I was have my boyfriend meet my conservative parents. My father must have picked up the other line and was asking for details.
I had explained that it we were just in town for the weekend. I wanted to show Javier where I had grown up and to of course meet my parents if they were available. My father seemed readily excited at the prospect of meeting Javier. He was talking over my mother for details of who he was, what he did, and all of that, but I assured him that we would be able to talk more about that when we got into town.