“Oh, yes, I can see you’ve given this idea of yours lots of careful thought, Abby.” Now he smiled and patted her head. “Why don’t you just give that brain of yours a little rest and think about this tomorrow.”
“Because I want to think about it now, Paul. And if it’s not too much to ask, I want some respect from you.”
“Respect?” He looked confused.
She slammed her fist on the table. “Respect! R-E-S-P-E-C-T!” She refrained from singing, “Sock it to me, sock it to me.”
He held up his hands, looking at her like she’d totally lost her senses, as if maybe he was the victim. “What is going on with you, Abby? What brought all this on? Is it something I said or did? Something the counselor suggested? Or are your hormones running amok again?”
“You make it sound like it’s crazy for me to want to run my own business,” she said as calmly as she was able. “Like you think I don’t have what it takes to succeed at something. Is that what you think?”
He pressed his lips together and just looked at her.
“I want to do this, Paul. And it would be a lot nicer if you believed in me instead of treating me like I’m a child or an imbecile.”
He actually looked like he was taking this in.
“Remember our assignment today?”
He just nodded.
She flipped back some pages on her notepad. “Well, I did mine. Did you do yours?”
He made a tired-looking half smile. “It’s been a long day, Abby.”
“So long that you don’t have time to hear my five needs?”
He shrugged. “Go ahead.”
She looked at the page. “Respect, love, communication, encouragement, and trust.”
He nodded. “Good list. I think mine would be nearly the same.”
She wasn’t sure whether to be encouraged that he agreed or concerned that he was copying her homework, just like he used to do back in high school. “You said nearly.” She held up the list. “What would be different on your list?”
“I guess I’d replace the last one with affection.”
She looked back at her list. “You’d take out trust?”
He scowled. “I didn’t mean it like that, Abby. I just meant I’d put affection on my list.”
“In place of trust?” She scowled back at him.
“Not in place of. I guess I’d just have to have six things on my list.” He looked at her list again. “Or maybe I’d take out communication.”
“You’d take out communication?” She stared at him. “You don’t want to talk to me?”
“Sometimes you talk too much.”
“And most of the time you don’t talk enough,” she shot back. “Or when you’re talking you’re putting me down.”
“Look, it’s obvious we’re both tired. And the counselor said not to start these conversations when it’s getting late or we’ll end—”
“And why are we having this conversation when it’s so late?” She stood and locked eyes with him. “Especially when I know that the chamber meeting ended a long time ago?”
“What are you doing?” He glared at her. “Checking up on me?”
“Where did you go after the meeting, Paul?” Now her heart was pounding, and she realized she had just entered some territory where she did not intend to go. But how to turn back?
“I went to have coffee with some guys from the chamber.”
“Which guys, Paul? Exactly who was there?”
He looked caught off guard. “So do you have spies on me now, Abby? What about item five on your list? You have no trust?”
“I want to have someone I can trust.” She kept her voice quiet but intense. “Now tell me, Paul, who did you have coffee with tonight? Surely you can remember.”
He looked like he was thinking. Was he about to make up some names?
“I want the truth, Paul. Trust me, I will know if you’re lying.” Okay, this was a bluff, but who could blame her?
Paul looked like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. Abby was getting seriously worried, not to mention mad.
“Fine.” He held up one finger. “Craig from Coastal Excursions was there.” A second finger popped up. “And Drew from Shore Links.” Now he looked like he was trying to recall, but then he just shrugged, almost as if he was surrendering, and a third finger went up. “And Bonnie Boxwell was there too.” He looked down at the list still lying on the breakfast bar.
Abby wasn’t sure how to react to this bit of news. On one hand it was exactly what she’d been fishing for. On the other, she didn’t think she was ready to hear it. She took in a careful breath. “Why was Bonnie Boxwell there?”
“To have coffee,” he answered rather stupidly.
“With the guys from the chamber?” she persisted.
“Bonnie joined the chamber.”
“Bonnie joined the chamber.” Abby shook her head with a frown. “Why?”
“Because she opened a store. Bridgeport Interiors. Haven’t you seen it?”
Abby thought for a moment. “I saw an ad for it last week, but I haven’t been in. That’s Bonnie’s store?”
He nodded. “So it made sense she should join.”
“Don’t you have to be invited to join?”
He nodded again.
“Let me guess, Paul? You invited her, right?”
Again with the nod. Did he have any idea how guilty and stupid that made him look?
“And that’s why you’ve been faithfully going to chamber meetings all of a sudden?”
“Hey, I’ve always gone to chamber meetings. Not all of them, of course, but I try to stay involved. I had to be there to nominate Bonnie at the last meeting and to introduce her today. And if it makes you feel any better, she asked me to do this for her weeks ago. I couldn’t exactly back out now, could I?”
She shrugged.
“So don’t go making this into something it’s not. I can’t help it if Bonnie wants to be part of the chamber, can I?”
“And have coffee with you afterward?”
“Not just me, Abby. I told you who was there. And I’m sure your spies told you as well.”
“Spies?” She looked askance at him. “Really, Paul, are you suffering from paranoia or just a guilt complex?”
Paul picked up the water bottle from the counter and shook his head. “Good night, Abby. The next time you want to interrogate me, why don’t you start earlier in the evening?”
“Why don’t you come home earlier in the evening?” she yelled to his back as he walked away. And then she turned off the lights and went to the guest room to sleep. At least she tried to sleep.
Chapter 8
Marley
“Are you feeling okay?” Marley asked Abby as they sat down with their coffee and pastries. She didn’t want to make Abby feel bad, but she could’ve sworn that her friend had aged by several years since just yesterday.
“Do I look that awful?” Abby frowned and blew on the surface of her latte.
“I wouldn’t say awful, just a little frazzled maybe.”
Abby sighed. “Paul and I had a great big fight last night.”
“Oh.” Marley nodded. “Well, that explains a lot.”
Abby looked close to tears now. “I just don’t know, Marley. Sometimes, like now, it feels like a lost cause.”
“Your marriage, you mean?”
She picked up her napkin and used it to dab the edges of her eyes, then nodded.
“Well, I know what that’s like.” Marley took a sip of her Americano. “And I have to say that nothing or nobody could make me want to go back there.”
“Not even if John changed?”
Marley laughed. “Short of a serious head injury or lobotomy—and I wish neither u
pon him—I don’t think that’s possible.”
“So how did you know it was over?”
“To be honest, I knew it was over long before I decided to end it. I just didn’t have the nerve earlier on. I kept telling myself that I’d wait until Ashton got older. First it was until he was old enough to drive. For some reason I thought that would be a good time. Then it was until Ashton graduated high school. Then when Ashton was in college I realized I had no more excuses. I made a plan, and I left.”
“Was it hard?”
Marley considered this. “In some ways it was excruciatingly hard. For starters, I was totally unprepared to support myself. I had depended on John for all those years, allowing him to make all the decisions, take care of the finances, everything.”
Abby looked confused. “You don’t seem like that kind of a person to me, Marley. I always got the impression you were a go-getter and no one pushed you around.”
“But I’ve told you about John before.”
“Maybe it never really sank in. Or I thought you were exaggerating.”
“Probably the opposite. If anything, over the years, I learned to play things down, tried to convince myself that it wasn’t so bad.”
Abby nodded. “Yeah, I do that sometimes.”
Marley wanted to protest, to say that Abby’s situation was nothing like what Marley had endured, but she stopped herself. “But it was bad,” she confessed. “John was controlling and mean. And I became so emotionally exhausted from all those years of verbal abuse and mental bullying that I didn’t even know how to live once I was on my own. I got counseling and that helped. But I was kind of broken, you know?”
Abby nodded, but her expression suggested that she didn’t know. Not really. Not deeply.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Marley told her. “I’m not saying I know Paul that well. And you know that Paul and I don’t exactly get along, but I’ve seen you two together, Abby. And it seems like there’s more hope for your marriage than I ever had for mine.”
“But that’s seeing us when we’re with you,” Abby pointed out. “You don’t know what it’s like when no one’s watching.”
“Is Paul abusive?” Marley leaned closer.
Abby seemed to think about this. “Not physically, of course. But he belittles me. And a lot of times, like last night, it feels like he’s trying to undermine me. Do you know what I mean?”
Marley nodded. “Oh, yeah. I’ve had lots of experience having the rug ripped out from under me. John was extremely passive-aggressive.”
“I’ve heard the term, but I’m not totally sure what it means.”
“I’ll give you my definition. It’s not exactly clinical, but it works for me. A passive-aggressive person is someone who acts like they like you but gets a real kick out of watching you fall flat on your face.”
Abby’s eyes lit up. “That sounds like Paul.”
Marley grimaced. “Oh, I don’t know, Abby. Certainly, Paul’s got his problems, but he’s probably not that—”
“Wait, hear me out.” Abby explained how she wanted to start a bed-and-breakfast, and how Paul had put her down. “He was so certain I would fail at it. It’s like he gave up on me before I even had a chance.”
Marley thought about it. Though Paul’s behavior sounded unfair, Marley was inclined to agree with him. Starting a bed-and-breakfast did seem a huge undertaking. “So that’s what you fought about?”
“That and the fact he had coffee with Bonnie Boxwell last night.”
Marley slowly shook her head. “Okay, now that’s something to fight about. What does he think he’s doing—marriage counseling with you in the morning and coffee with Bonnie at night?”
“He made it sound like it was nothing, like it was just some people from the chamber getting together for coffee after the meeting, but I know—”
“You mean he wasn’t alone with Bonnie?”
“No, according to him a couple other guys were there too.”
“So maybe they were just having coffee.” Marley studied Abby. Was it possible she was blowing this thing with Bonnie out of proportion?
Abby clenched her fists and scowled. “I don’t know. The way he reacts when I question.… It just doesn’t feel right.”
“But as far as you know, nothing has happened between them, right?”
Abby nodded. “Right.”
“And he’s doing the marriage counseling with you, right?”
“Yes.”
“So it sounds to me like he’s still committed to your marriage, Abby.”
“I guess.”
Marley felt she was in over her head. Of all Abby’s friends, Marley was the least equipped to dish out marriage advice. Part of her had no tolerance for a husband who treated his wife poorly, and if Abby pushed for a verdict, Marley would probably just tell her to kick the jerk to the curb and move on. And yet Marley knew people who had worked through bigger problems than Abby’s, saved their marriages, and seemed to be living happily ever after. Or mostly. “I’m not the best person to talk to about marital troubles,” she admitted. “Sure, I can listen, but I’m not terribly objective if you know what I mean. And I don’t want to project my negativity about marriage onto you. Personal feelings about Paul aside, I still haven’t gotten past how he said my beach house was a scrapper. I have to admit he’s got some good qualities, and I think he loves you, Abby. You should be taking your concerns to the marriage counselor … and to Paul.”
“I know. I guess I just wanted to vent.”
Marley smiled. “Venting I can handle. It’s just the dispensing of advice that worries me.”
“Did you have someone to vent to about your marriage?”
“I went to a counselor for a while, and she kept telling me the only hope for my marriage was to get John in there with me, but he refused. She never said as much, but I think she got fed up with me for putting up with him.” Marley sighed. “So the fact that Paul is willing to go with you is worth a lot.”
“What attracted you to John in the first place, Marley?”
“It’s embarrassing to admit, but it was actually his Air Force uniform that caught my eye. And I was a confirmed hippie. Go figure.” Marley laughed. “Also, I was young. John started pursuing me—relentlessly. I was flattered, and I eventually gave in. He was being stationed in Germany … and then I was pregnant … getting married just seemed to be the answer.”
Abby nodded. “Sometimes I regret marrying so young.”
“You were really young.” Marley recalled her surprise when Abby and Paul married right out of high school. “In fact, I remember thinking your marriage wouldn’t last. And here you are all these years later, still together.”
“Barely.” Abby stirred her latte. “So does Ashton have a good relationship with his father?”
Marley wasn’t sure how much she wanted to say. She’d spent so many years covering things up, but why should she continue? Was she still letting John control her? “Actually, John and Ashton have no relationship,” she confessed. “John disowned his only son when Ashton told him he was gay.”
Abby looked surprised but nodded like she understood … or was trying to understand. “And how’s your relationship with Ashton?”
Marley smiled. “Pretty good. I’m hoping it’ll get even better now that I live so much closer to him. It was hard being six hours away in Seattle. But Ashton is a good boy.” She laughed. “Good grief, he’s almost thirty-two, and I’m still calling him a boy. He’s a good man. And I like his partner, Leo. They have a successful business and are quite happy together.”
“I’ve wondered about my daughter Laurie in, uh, that regard.” Abby looked uncomfortable now.
“What regard?” Marley questioned. “You mean you think she’s a lesbian?”
Abby twisted the napkin in her hands. �
�I don’t have any real reason, but she’s so distant from her family and kind of defensive, you know?”
Marley nodded as if she knew, although this didn’t really sound like Ashton.
“And she works for the city in … San Francisco.”
Marley laughed. “So you think because she’s a little defensive and lives in San Francisco she might be a lesbian?”
Abby made an embarrassed face. “I know that sounds silly.”
“And what if she was?” Marley watched Abby’s reaction.
“Well, I honestly wouldn’t wish that on any of my daughters. But I hope that I’d be able to get past it.” Abby’s brow creased. “I actually think it would be harder on Paul than me, but I don’t think he’d disown her. I can’t imagine disowning any of my children for any reason.”
“Good for you. Trust me, it gets easier once you get over the initial shock. If it wasn’t for John’s negative influence early on, which I’m still trying to shake off, I would probably go around telling everyone that my son’s gay.” She grinned. “Maybe I will. I’m proud of Ashton. He’s doing some very cool things with his life. And having a gay child is nothing to be ashamed of.” She laughed. “Maybe it’s the parents who should come out of the closet.”
Now Abby looked nervous, as if Marley had taken this too far. “I could be wrong about Laurie,” Abby said quickly. “After all, she’s a middle child, and she’s always been a little difficult and overly sensitive. I don’t think she got enough attention growing up. At least that’s what she told me once when she was pointing out all the things I did wrong in raising her. Although her sisters don’t agree. Anyway, she might not really be a lesbian.”
“But if she is,” Marley persisted, “you’ll get over it. You’ll still love her.”
“Of course.” Abby blinked, then picked up her coffee.
“The hardest part for me is that I won’t have grandchildren.” Marley sighed. “I’ll miss that.”
“Couldn’t they adopt?”
“Ashton has said he would never do that. He thinks it’s unfair to the child.”
Abby nodded. “He sounds like a mature young man.”
Hometown Ties Page 8