I made one quick stop to get my supplies: balloons, trains, ice cream, and then I headed straight for the Summerfield Apartments. I hadn’t told Chloe I was coming, but I assumed that she knew. After all, I had come to the hospital every chance I had gotten each day after my shift. She wouldn’t be surprised to see me. But Ian always was. The smile that lit up his face when he saw me seemed to get bigger each time I walked through the door and I couldn’t wait to see that smile again.
I rushed down the small stuffy hallway to apartment 3G, thinking briefly about the idea that someday Chloe and Ian wouldn’t have to live in this place, assuming things worked out between the two of us. Even if they didn’t, she had the money left over from the promo drive lemonade stand. She could buy them a small house of their own and raise Ian somewhere that had a yard for him to enjoy.
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice the fact that the apartment door was slightly open. When I knocked, it swung open a bit further and I frowned. I had never known Chloe to leave her door unlocked, much less completely open.
“Chloe?” I called as I stepped through the door into the small entryway.
“Someone there?” a man’s voice answered from the back of the apartment and my frown deepened. Chloe’s tattered couch and small kitchen table were gone. The man’s voice echoed through the apartment as if the entire thing were empty.
“Hello?” I called out again, my hands beginning to shake as I set the bag of ice cream, balloons and plastic trains on the kitchen counter.
“Sorry,” an older, stout man with a prominent middle said as he ambled out of the back bedroom. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting, I was just patching a few holes in the wall. Are you here about the rental? Are you the one who called?”
By this point, I was thoroughly confused. “Rental?” I asked, glancing around the apartment again, wondering if I was even in the right place.
“Oh wait,” the man said, looking me slowly up and down and then taking a long hard look at his wristwatch. “Are you Jones? Jared?”
I nodded, unsure as to what I should say or do. “I have something for you,” he said, reaching deep into his back pocket and extracting a letter-sized envelope. “The woman told me you would be by and that you needed to have this.”
“Chloe?” I asked.
The man shrugged. “She was in a hurry to leave. Barely took the time to move all her things, but she made sure that I got this so I could give it to you.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, wishing the couch was still there so I would have a place to collapse. I was so confused and dismayed that I didn’t know where to turn or what to do.
“You okay?” the man asked, mopping his forehead with a yellowed handkerchief he pulled out of the same back pocket.
“I…” I stuttered. “I guess I need to check this out,” I said, raising the envelope.
“You should do that,” he answered, “it seemed really important to her that you get it.”
Not important enough that she stick around and give it to me herself, I thought, but I simply nodded at the man and watched as he turned around to continue his job of filling holes.
“Stick around if you want,” he said. “The new possible tenant might stop by, but otherwise the place is empty. Take your time.”
I normally would have thanked the man, but instead I sunk to the floor by the kitchen sink, the envelope in my hand and a foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. I slid my thumb below the flap and separated the sticky piece from the main part of the envelope. The envelope wasn’t very thick and when I looked inside, there were only four items filling the center.
The first small slip of paper I pulled out was a check made out to the hospital for a significant amount of money. I wasn’t sure what that was about so I set it aside and kept going. The second item was heavier in weight and put an instant smile on my face, even though it remained only for a brief moment. The picture of Ian and I grinning at the camera with the paper plane was one I knew I would always cherish, no matter what the rest of the envelope held.
The third item was another check, this one made out to me in the exact amount of the car repairs I had initially had done on Chloe’s vehicle. I remembered the day she told me that she was going to pay me back, though I insisted she didn’t have to and that I had done what I had done because I wanted to. She had not taken no for an answer and had still said she would get me the money as soon as she could. Apparently, she had meant that and here was the ultimate proof.
I set the check aside as well, knowing that I would never cash it and pulled out the single sheet of yellow legal paper.
The handwriting was small and slanted and it almost looked as if the hand that wrote it was shaking as badly as mine was. Or perhaps she had just been in a hurry.
I finished unfolding the sheet, put my head back against the cabinet, and began to read.
Dear Jared,
I don’t even know where to start other than to tell you I am so sorry. When Greg came back, at first, I didn’t know what I wanted. But after a few conversations, I began to realize that he was really better and he wanted to try to make it work. He has a job in another state and he can get us on his health care plan. Ian will have a good school and there are plenty of kids in the neighborhood. It will be a good life for him.
I can’t imagine what you must think of me. Know that I never meant for things to work out this way. But Greg is Ian’s father and as many times as he has disappointed us, he deserves another chance.
I have enclosed a check for the car repairs. I know you don’t want it, but please take it as the last favor I will ask of you. I also put in a check for the hospital. If you could get that to them, I would appreciate it. I want there to be a fund in place for other people in our situation. People who need medical attention and can’t afford it. Have the hospital use the money for someone like Ian. Give it to Nurse Nancy. She’ll know what to do as she and I discussed the problem at length.
I also wanted you to have something to help you remember how much you meant to Ian’s life. He has a copy of the picture as well and he put it in his favorite book so he knows where it is at all times. Ian doesn’t remember his father very well and to him, you were like a father figure while Greg was away. You are someone I never want him to forget and I will make sure he knows that it is because of you that he lives on today.
Greg is here with the truck now and I have to go. I don’t know what else to say to you, Jared, other than I am so sorry. I am forever in your debt for what you have done for my son. And I will never forget you. Please forgive me and remember the good times we had together and not how this has ended.
Chloe
I crumpled the letter into a ball, knowing I would flatten it back out and read it again. I bent my head over my knees and sunk my face into my hands.
She was gone? Ian was gone? Her husband really had come back and he had convinced them to go away with him? When had all of this happened? How had I been so naïve about the entire situation? Why hadn’t I had that talk with her earlier like I had planned?
The questions filled my head, but they were doing no good at all. Suddenly, I had to get out of that apartment. There were too many memories of Ian with his trains and Chloe with her long braid swaying in laughter for me to stay any longer.
I stuffed the checks, picture and letter back into the envelope and rushed past the bag of balloons, melting ice cream and trains that I had placed on the counter. I needed to get to the hallway. Maybe then I could breathe.
The stuffy hallway didn’t feel much better but at least I didn’t have as many memories. Only one, really. The time I had seen the man with the blonde ponytail, flannel shirt, and blue eyes that looked like Ian’s.
Much like the man that I saw walking towards me right at that instant, as casual as could be.
I rushed down the hall, my hair flapping around my face, grabbed the man by the shirt and pulled his nose against mine.
“Where are they?�
�� I shouted. “What have you done?”
I am the first to admit, I wasn’t thinking rationally. Chloe’s letter hadn’t said anything about love or the fact that Greg was the one she really wanted to be with. For all I knew, he was forcing her into it and she felt she had no choice but to go with him. For some reason, he had returned. And I was going to get the answers I needed.
“Hey man,” the guy said, raising his hands in surrender, “chill!”
I loosened my grip and took a step back, still seething as I flattened the envelope against my pants. I wasn’t going to apologize, but I needed to back off. I had him cornered. He wasn’t going anywhere until I knew what I needed to know.
“Where is Ian?” I asked. “How did you talk Chloe into this?”
“Who do you think I am?” the guy asked. But then I watched the realization wash over him and he continued. “Greg,” he said. “You think I’m Greg.”
“You’re not?” I asked, fully prepared to call him a liar.
“No, man,” the guy said, straightening out his worn shirt, though it didn’t look as if it were ever wrinkle free. “I’m Frank. Greg’s brother. What’s this about Ian and Chloe? Are they not home?”
“Greg’s brother?” I was trying to process the information. I supposed it was possible. He looked too much like Ian to be a complete stranger but now that I saw him up close, he also looked much older than Chloe. Not that she couldn’t have married someone older, but he just didn’t quite fit. “What do you know about this?” I asked, gesturing towards the empty apartment.
“About what, man? You gotta give me something to work with here.”
“Chloe and Ian. They’re gone. The apartment. It’s empty,” I said, speaking in short, staccato sentences to get my point across. “They’re with Greg.” I said, ending my last sentence more like a question than a statement.
Frank shook his head and I found his ponytail annoying. “Ah, they’re back together are they?” he asked as if he knew it was going to happen.
“What are you doing here anyways?” I asked. “I saw you here once before and Chloe didn’t seem to want you around.”
“No, she wouldn’t, man,” he said. “I was trying to talk her into getting back with Greg. I told her it was just a matter of time before he found her and she would have to face him, but she always just told me to go away and leave her alone.”
“So what are you doing here today?” I asked, trying to get as much information as I could.
“Actually, I came here to warn her,” he said. “She seemed so adamant about not seeing Greg I wanted to let her know that he knew where she was.”
“Knew where she was…” I repeated. “How?”
“He saw her on TV, man,” Frank said, shaking his head as a blonde hair came loose from the haphazard ponytail. “National news. Didn’t take long to figure out where that little fundraiser was and how to get to her from there.”
I slapped my hand against my forehead. Of course. I didn’t know much about Chloe and Greg’s relationship but she had said that he had disappeared and she had even moved and wasn’t sure if he could find her again if he tried. Apparently he didn’t even have to try real hard. I had delivered her right to his TV set myself. On a silver platter.
“Not to worry, man,” Frank said, clapping his hand down onto my shoulder like we were buddies, only to remove it when I gave him a dirty look. “He seemed better. I think he’s going to make it this time. All he really wanted was to get his family back together again.”
“You knew where she was, though? The whole time?” I asked, thinking the story sounded kind of fishy. “And you never told him?”
Frank shook his head. “Nah, man. I couldn’t do that to the little guy. It wasn’t my place. I was just trying to drive her back to him. It had to be her choice.”
I nodded, thinking that was a rather mature decision for someone who I was judging to be so far beneath me. “And the lemonade stand?” I asked. “You were there?”
Frank nodded. “Just checking in. I don’t really have a day job, man. My band plays gigs at night on occasion and I liked to keep tabs on Chloe. She DOES have my nephew with her, after all.”
I wasn’t sure if that was sweet or stalker-like, but it wasn’t the issue at hand. “Do you have any idea where they might have headed?”
Frank raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “I didn’t even know they were gone. My guess is that once Greg realized his family was in the same town as me, he figured out pretty fast that I knew where they were all along. Every time he called me and cried to me about missing his wife…his little boy…and I didn’t tell him? I don’t expect I’ll ever hear from him again.”
On that front, I couldn’t blame Greg. I would feel betrayed as well, but I respected Frank for protecting Chloe and staying out of the situation as much as he felt he could.
“But you said he sounded better? Greg? You think they’ll be okay?”
Frank ran his hand over his loose strands of hair and down his ponytail. “He really did, man. He must be back on his meds again. He said he had a good job. Steady pay. Benefits. I think he really wanted to do things right this time.”
I blinked. At least I had that comfort. The only recourse I had now was to hold on to the hope that Chloe and Ian were okay. And maybe they were even where they should be. Even if all I wanted was for them to be inside that shabby apartment, blowing up balloons, eating ice cream, and playing train.
“Thanks,” I muttered, starting to move past Frank back out to the street so I could put the Summerfield Apartments behind me for the last time.
“You going to be okay?” Frank asked and I wondered if he knew who I was. He was perceptive enough to figure out how things would eventually go between Chloe and Greg.
“I don’t know, man,” I said, using his own catch phrase. “I don’t have a choice but to be okay, I guess,” I answered over my shoulder as I pushed the door to the stairs open and started going down, feeling every step from the ball of my foot clear through my body.
The little boy who I had grown to love so much had been ripped from my life. The woman I had chosen had chosen someone else. The time and effort I had put into the relationship had all been for nothing.
As I stepped out into the light of day and felt the sunshine down on me, I stopped myself. None of it had been for nothing. Ian was alive and he would stay that way. If nothing more came out of it than that, it was enough. I would pick up the pieces and carry on and live each day with that knowledge in the back of my mind. I could be happy with that. I had no other choice.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
By the time I got home, I could feel my heart breaking in two. I felt as if I had lost my father all over again. This time, though, instead of losing the past, I was losing the future.
I made it no farther than the couch inside my door before I collapsed. The tears burning in my eyes and the questions running through my head. What had I done wrong? Was there anything I could have done differently to prevent this from happening? I kept trying to tell myself that Ian was happy and healthy and that was really all that mattered, but it did nothing to help my own despair.
The slight rustle that came from the kitchen was so distant at first I almost thought it was coming from somewhere outside. When the rustle turned from slight to significant and was followed by a loud bang, I shot up from the couch and rushed to the kitchen. Had I been in my right mind, I might have expected an intruder and grabbed a baseball bat on my way. Since I had just lost what I considered to be my entire future, I no longer cared what happened to me and I entered the kitchen unprotected.
Evan was bent over at the waist, inspecting the contents of the fridge, moving items from one shelf to another.
“Got anything good in here?” he asked without turning around to acknowledge my presence.
“I think I have some peaches in the drawer,” I answered, sniffing back my tears and moving to take over his station at the fridge.
“Ick,” Evan said and
I was surprised. Granted, he had only made a couple of appearances in my kitchen but his appetite seemed to be never ending. I had never stopped to think that maybe he had dislikes just like anyone else. “Got any Cheetos?” he asked as he moved away from the fridge and plopped into his regular chair at the back of the table. “I know what you’re thinking,” he said, shaking his hair away from his face and I wondered if he was about to dive into the whole Chloe, Ian, Greg ordeal. “I need Cheetos like I need a hole in the head, right? But I just can’t get enough of those things.”
It hadn’t been what I was thinking, but I was pretty sure he knew that given his track record for reading my thoughts. In fact, he probably knew I had a brand new, unopened bag of Cheetos in the back of my cupboard just waiting to be opened and eaten. I reached into the cupboard, grabbed the bag and threw them on the table, sitting in the chair opposite Evan.
Evan grabbed the bag and noisily opened it, but he didn’t dive into the Cheetos immediately. “Rough day, huh?” he asked, giving me a sympathetic look with his big, kind eyes.
I wanted to hurl the Cheetos bag at his head. I wanted to yell at him and ask if he knew this was going to happen all along. I wanted to know why he had put me through all of this and what good it was doing. But the look on his face prevented all of my possible rampages. All I could do was feel the love he had exuding from him and somehow, it took all of my anger away and left only the sadness.
“You could say that,” I said, letting my shoulders sag on either side of me. “Did I make the wrong choice?” I asked, knowing that he would throw that back in my face eventually. The fact that I wanted a family, but that I had told him I wanted to choose my own wife.
Evan nodded. “Looks that way,” he said as he reached into the Cheetos bag, inspected his options, and extracted one single Cheeto. He held it out in front of him, turned it side to side, and stuck the whole thing in his mouth.
“Was there anything I could have done?” I asked, wanting to feel the same peace about the situation as he looked like he felt about everything the world had to offer…especially the Cheetos.
God In The Kitchen Page 14