“I’m sorry, Will. Could you hold on a second?” Max asked, looking at the dog. Then back to the living room.
And only seeing Lexie.
He tamped down worry that threatened his focus and started walking through the downstairs, checking the bathrooms while his friend repeated whatever he’d said before. But Max couldn’t think about the conversation or the case. Each step through the Cimarron Rose only hammered home that he didn’t know where Colby had gone and there were no guests around who might have seen him or could help him look.
Miss Molly’s scratching grew more frantic, and was now partnered with barking. Max jogged back to the kitchen and looked out the windows. Still no sign of Colby.
To hell with calm.
Panic surged through him. “Will, I have to call you back.” He hung up, moving to the door where Miss Molly scratched.
Damn. He’d turned his back for a minute. Maybe two.
But it had been enough time for Colby to leave, slip out the back door. Maybe if Max had paid attention to Miss Molly’s whining sooner...
The thought chilled him. Grabbing Lexie by her hand, he ushered her outside, his heart pounding as they walked out the back door. His trained sleuth eyes scanned the horizon for any sign of the boy.
All the while, fear knotted in his chest. This was absolute failure. Never had he sunk so low, lost so much.
This wasn’t a failed case. He couldn’t locate Natalie’s child. He’d let her down more than he could articulate. He’d made a mistake in thinking he could step into this family and be a positive influence. He’d hurt the woman he cared about in the worst possible way.
“Colby. Colby,” he shouted, voice bellowing and echoing in the cool September air.
His heart hammered harder, faster. He called for Colby again and again, searching around the yard, in the bushes. The street was clear, but, God, he couldn’t even stomach the thought of Colby out on a busy road.
“Colby,” he shouted again.
Still, nothing. Not a sound came back. Except for the distinct sound of car tires on pavement. Natalie had come home, parking in the back as she usually did. He didn’t even want to think about how terrified she would be. Right now he had to focus on the possibility that Colby would come out of hiding for his mother.
Hitching Lexie up to hold and be sure he didn’t lose this one, too, he started toward Natalie. Saw her process the scene, the fear on her face registering as she exited the car. She knew, even before he opened his mouth.
Leaving the car door open behind her, Natalie ran toward the next-door neighbors. “The Albertsons. He likes their cat.”
Max sprinted to catch up, a few steps behind her. He’d scanned the neighboring yards and hadn’t seen the boy...but had he looked where a cat might be?
His gaze tracked up and...
“There,” Max said, pointing at the Albertsons’ tree, where Colby lingered. He was holding a branch, his feet braced against the trunk, ready to climb. Natalie rushed to her son and pulled him down. She hugged Colby hard, her fear for him clearly having overcome her normal restraint in giving the boy his space.
Miss Molly bounded over and nudged the mother and son. To comfort Colby? Or for Natalie? Either way, thank God, Colby had been found.
Max gripped the picket fence, more than a little unsteady. Relief washed through him.
Miss Molly pushed between Natalie and Colby. As Natalie rocked back on her heels, the sun glinted along a tear streaking down her face. That lone droplet clinging to her chin gutted Max.
Her devastated face said it all. She’d trusted him with her children and he’d failed. Failed her and failed the children.
“God, Natalie,” he said hoarsely, setting Lexie back on the ground. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”
Sorry for more than the moment. Sorry he couldn’t be the man this family needed.
Eleven
As the door to Lexie’s room clicked shut, Natalie let loose a breath she hadn’t realized she’d held. The air expelled from her lungs, her chest deflating, taking with it some of the tension.
She ran a hand through her hair, letting the silken strands slip between her fingers, gaze shifting from Lexie’s door to Colby’s.
Thank God he was safe.
He’d slipped away before. A few times. Each time brought more panic to her lungs, to her limbs. She’d have to watch him more carefully—and warn newcomers about his tendency to sneak off.
Panic had held her chest in a tight knot in those few moments they searched for him. Now she crept to the door, just to make sure one last time that he was there.
Cracking the door open, she peered inside. She was comforted by Miss Molly’s perked ears at the sound of her intrusion, and by the sight of Colby’s sleeping body.
Satisfaction. Relief. Both those sensations filled her until her breath returned to a normal cadence.
As she turned the corner into the kitchen, her heart sank when another scene of departure greeted her, leaching the warmth from her fingertips. Deep down, she’d known this was inevitable, but still, she’d dared hope. And that hurt like hell.
Max sat at the kitchen table. Lines of anguish and, yes, defeat were carved in his face. His normally easy smile was replaced with a thin hard line. His eyes were downcast, seeming to examine the two leather bags off to the left of his feet.
He met her gaze, noticing her presence. Or maybe he had registered her sharp intake of breath.
While, yes, defeat colored his features, so did a kind of somber resolve. “I’m going to Chelsea’s. I’ve already packed my computer gear. I think it’s best.”
Natalie blinked. Once. Twice. Tried to discern if this was indeed her reality. “That’s it? After chasing me like crazy you’re just leaving? I’m not a challenge anymore?”
His broad shoulders braced, his eyes pained but his jaw resolute. “It’s not that at all. I’m not right for you, Natalie. I never was. I should have been honest with myself. I’m just not wired for being a part of a family lifestyle and routine.”
Natalie couldn’t speak, her throat was too clogged with emotion. She could only watch him scan the kitchen, his gaze pausing on Colby’s fish drawings that hung haphazardly on the fridge. Total quiet descended, pressing down on the room.
On her.
Finally, he looked back at her, his eyes full of guilt on top of that pain. “Look at what happened today with Colby getting lost. Who knows how long he could have been out if Miss Molly hadn’t alerted me?”
The self-recrimination in his voice tugged her forward a step. She reached to him, her hand shaking, her nerves still rattled. “I should have told you he’s an escape artist. I shouldn’t have expected you to be a mind reader.”
“Don’t make excuses for me.” He ignored her extended hand. “God knows, I can’t make an excuse for myself. I’m sorry, Natalie, so damn sorry.” He shook his head, seeming so distant now. His gaze turned inward, examining something she couldn’t see. “You deserve better and I’m going to step out of the way so you can have it.”
His words hurt, more than she would have expected, given how often she’d thought about how wrong they were for each other. Still, she’d dared to hope—he’d insisted she should. He’d made her live for more than the day. He’d renewed hope and confidence in her.
She was worth more than what he was giving her right now. He’d wanted her to take a risk, and now that she had done so, he was bailing.
Well, damn it, she wasn’t letting him go that easily. “That sounds like a cop-out excuse to me. I told you I don’t blame you. No one expects you to be an instant child expert in a few days. You’re selling yourself short and just giving up. Giving up on us, giving up on a chance at the family you were robbed of in your early years.” As she said the words, she found herself voicing the possibility in her he
art, too. Yes, she’d dared to hope maybe they could work this out into a future that promised more. “There’s a real possibility you could have that if you weren’t so willing to walk away.”
His jaw worked as he held her gaze for so long she thought he might actually have heard her. She could see the war in his eyes, see that he was moved. Then he tore his gaze from hers and looked away, shaking his head. “You’ve been hurt too much, Natalie. And your kids deserve better. I’m a techie, a man of facts and probabilities, so I can calculate odds. All that training tells me, in no uncertain terms, I’m just not worth the risk.”
Without meeting her gaze, he picked up his bags and walked out of her life.
* * *
Tension had been her constant companion since Max left four days ago. Her decision to call him out on running away still was the right one. Of that she felt certain.
Living with her parents’ disappointment in her had finally given her the strength to see that she was a good parent. That she could raise her kids on her own and do a damn good job of it. She wouldn’t settle for a man in her life who wasn’t ready to shoulder the normal fears that came with parenting. But knowing she’d made the right call didn’t do a damn thing to soothe the ache of missing Max.
Four days. It seemed like such a short amount of time.
And she missed him a helluva lot. Felt that longing in her chest, in the way her eyes absently, yet actively searched the parking lot for his rented SUV.
Even now, with Margie, she still found herself occasionally diverting her eyes from the yard. To the room where he’d spent so much time. To that other life she had glimpsed.
“I miss seeing Max around here.” Margie tossed the tennis ball to Lexie, who giggled as she half caught, then dropped it. The golden autumn sun provided just enough warmth to warrant a light jacket, even beneath the shade of the tree.
Miss Molly barked in excitement as Lexie scooped up the ball and tossed it with a strong pitch born of much practice at the game.
“Max and I are no longer an item. It was...a risk. That happens. Not every relationship turns into forever. Our lives are in different places,” Natalie said in a cool voice that made her seem much more collected than she felt. Miss Molly dropped the ball at Lexie’s pink sneakers.
Margie looked at her sidelong, that knowing expression in her keen eyes. “Your boyfriend has a private airplane. You’re never far out of reach.”
Boyfriend. What a surreal word. It sounded like a word of days gone by, a time of innocence before so much pain and loss. “Whatever he was, it’s over.”
Colby darted in front of them, the golden retriever close at his heels, tail wagging in delight. Her heart pulsed at the sight of her son’s smile. Lexie threw the ball back to Margie, catching the pup’s attention.
“Oh, sweetie, I know you too well. We’re your family now. That’s how this town works, making family connections out of strong friendships.” Margie took a turn at the game, lobbing the ball farther to give the dog more of a workout. “I guess that’s what makes this hacker’s attacks hurt all the more, since it means someone in our ‘family’ betrayed us. We all have secrets, so we’re all vulnerable.”
A gust of wind rustled the yellow and red leaves that peppered the still-green yard. The scent of pinecones and the distant scent of a bonfire carried on the wind. This small town offered her a haven. “Margie, I’m finding it tough to believe you have any dark secrets.”
A deep laugh shook the older woman’s shoulders. She tugged on the sleeve of her red-and-black-plaid shirt, eyes wide and kind. “Oh, honey, there are some, how shall we say it, boudoir photos I had made for my husband’s birthday about twenty years ago. I never could find the negatives when I went through his belongings after he passed away.”
“Oh, my.” Natalie couldn’t help grinning—and she also couldn’t help marveling at the way Margie managed to smile over memories of her dead husband, to even joke over going through his things.
“Exactly.” Margie let out a low, exaggerated sigh. “Every time I see a pink boa, I have twinges of fear of those pictures popping up.”
“Pink boa?” Natalie asked, feeling more attached to Margie for her boldness now. A kinship, something like family. The family one chooses.
“And bubble-bath pictures.” Her eyes twinkled for a moment. “My Terence sure did love that gift, though.”
“Sounds like you had a wonderful marriage.” Her heart squeezed at being denied that dream not once, but twice.
Margie’s gaze went to the street, to a passing yellow truck. The sputtering sound of the engine filled the conversation for a few heartbeats. In a quiet voice, she nodded, blinking back tears. “We did.”
“You were lucky.” Was it so wrong to want a happily-ever-after for herself? A family life for her children?
Natalie’s eyes flicked to the scene in front of her. Happy dog, happy children. This small town that provided them shelter. And yet...she wanted more.
“Some of it was luck. A lot of it was hard work.”
Natalie bristled, ruffled to think that Margie was suggesting she wasn’t trying enough now.
“Hard work isn’t always enough.” She and Jeremy had struggled. She liked to think they would have made things work, but she would never know for sure.
“I realize that, honey. But without the work, even luck won’t pull you through. By giving it your one hundred percent, you do have the reassurance of knowing you did everything possible. And that’s all we can ever control in life—what we do.” She patted Natalie’s cheek. “Be at peace with yourself about Jeremy, dearie. You deserve it.”
How had Margie read her mind so clearly? The woman sure hadn’t been joking about forging a family bond out of friendships. But then hadn’t Max said the same about the foster father who taught him how to cook? That had been a family for Max.
A family Max had lost.
And in that thought, realization sank in. Max did know how to be a part of a family. And just as she had lost, so had he. That big bold man really was afraid of being hurt again.
Like she’d been doing, he was protecting his heart. Because yes, she loved him and she suspected he was falling in love with her.
Margie’s words reverberated in her mind, about the only way to escape regrets was to give her all. She’d let Max walk out that door. She’d let the man she loved walk away.
And the only way she could be at peace with how her future played out was to know she hadn’t left anything unsaid. She was strong enough to stand up for herself, for her children, for Max.
And for a chance at the future they deserved to have. Together.
A plan formed in her head, a way to start at least. Parenting an autistic child had taught her she couldn’t wait for problems to work themselves out. She had to be involved in positive change. To make the world a better place for her child. She needed to act. Maybe now she needed to take action for herself.
“Margie, did you mean what you said about us being family?”
“Of course, dear.” Margie squeezed her hand. “What do you need?”
“Can you take the kids for the evening?” She reached into her pocket for her cell phone. “Given Colby’s tendency to wander off, I need to upgrade my security system. And I believe St. Cloud Security Solutions has just the right person to install the best of the best.”
* * *
In spite of his resolution to do right by Natalie and keep his distance, here he was again, at the Cimarron Rose.
Max thumbed the strap of the leather bag that he’d slung over his shoulder, taking comfort in the security gear inside. Most of his work focused on cybersecurity and grounds security for large corporations. But keeping Natalie and her kids safe? His most important job.
He’d leaped at her request that gave him a reason to be right where he’d been longin
g to be every second since he’d left. Even working like hell with Will and with Chels’s brother, Daniel, hadn’t provided the distraction he sought. Will and Daniel had all but thrown him out when the call came for a basic security-system install at Natalie’s.
He approached the white picket-fence gate, drawing in a deep breath. He looked at the constellations in the night sky, taking reassurance from their twinkling as he did when he’d been on the street.
The night sky had always called to him, giving him constancy in a turbulent life.
He knew this wasn’t his wisest move ever coming here. But when Chelsea told him Natalie needed a security system to keep Colby safe? There’d been no way Max could turn his back, or even send over Will. He would make Natalie’s house as safe as it could be. Make her kids safe.
The past days without Natalie had been hell. The hole in his life a gaping wound. He still wasn’t sure what to do—an anomaly for a man like him—but he also knew he couldn’t keep hiding out at Chelsea’s while he looked for the hacker.
He made a move to go to the door, then noticed the spotlight on in the backyard.
An awareness coiled in his stomach. Natalie was in the backyard. Probably on that glider with a glass of wine. Just as she’d been his first night.
He adjusted his course, made his way to the backyard. Needing—not just wanting—to see her.
His chest tightened as his eyes found her and took in the familiar sight of Natalie, feeling like it had been months since he’d seen her rather than days. Looking at him without speaking, she tapped the glider back and forth, her silver sandals glinting in the moonlight. Her sapphire-blue dress grazed her ankles, and strawberry curls fell loosely over her shoulders. She held a narrow goblet and rested it lightly on her knee.
A beer waited for him on the tree-stump end table. She’d taken a huge risk to her pride for him. Her giving heart and her confidence were...stunning.
Her calm face called him closer.
Taking Home the Tycoon Page 15