by Lexi Post
“Of course. Oh, so you won’t be here to bring Drew to the base?” Another really intelligent question, Meg. Nice job.
“No, I roped Leo into playing chauffer to get the kid there. Leo’s on duty today so he’ll be here in about an hour.”
Leonard was another Coast Guardsmen she had seen as a patient. “I hope we don’t keep him waiting. Last I checked, I had an appointment.” She nodded her head toward Drew, who was oblivious to their conversation. Then she gave Tyler a smile. “Have fun today.”
He grinned. “Plan to.” He turned then and as he passed Drew, nudged the man with his shoulder.
“Hey, watch where you’re going.”
“And you watch your time.” Tyler’s voice was stern, which sent a new heat pulsing through her body, but she focused on Drew.
That kind of treatment was one of the reasons Drew came to her—to complain, but from what she just witnessed, he brought it on himself sometimes. “Drew?”
“Coming Doc.”
She didn’t wait for him to finish with the secretary. Instead, she turned on her heel and strode into her office so she could catch a look at Tyler from her window. She picked up her tea and waited.
After a couple minutes, he emerged, striding confidently to his vehicle. She sipped at her warm drink. If only she had the day off. She could have asked to tag along…if she had the guts.
Since her last boyfriend, she’d been a little reticent to make the first move. That relationship had never had balance with him doling out attention like a treat. Luckily, it hadn’t taken her long to see his pattern and break it off. That was the last scientist she planned on ever dating.
Just as she took another sip, Tyler opened the door of his truck and looked up toward her window. She caught her breath. Could he see her? Was the sun reflecting off the window or was she clearly visible?
When he finally stopped looking and jumped into his vehicle, she sat down hard in her chair. She had to find out if he caught her mooning over him. That would be too embarrassing. She glanced at the clock. Eight ten. She would go downstairs tomorrow at this time to check to see if he could have seen her.
Wait, eight ten? She put down her tea and strode toward her open door. Peering over her glasses, she gave Drew her school teacher stare. “Mr. Linden, you’re officially late.”
* * * * *
“No more issues with going up to the second-floor training room then?”
Tyler grimaced as he looked away from Dr. Preston, the real reason he had to leave Dr. Haskell’s so quickly. “I manage.”
“Good. That’s progress.”
He looked back at the doctor and frowned. “It’s pathetic.”
“Tyler, you had a traumatic event occur. Falling from a second story porch can leave lifelong scars. “You’re walking and back to work. That’s considered progress in my field.”
“Some progress. I can’t even walk up the stairs without my hands sweating and my breath getting stuck in my chest.”
“I think it’s time you went to the Crystal Waters Mall to ride the escalators. They are much higher than the average flight of stairs, which would put the training room into perspective for you.”
“Ride an escalator? I’m not a kid.” He frowned.
“I don’t treat my patients as kids. I treat them as adults with problems they can overcome if they follow my advice. Healing your mind is no different than healing your body. When your legs were broken, they started you with ‘baby steps,’ right?”
He nodded.
“As I thought. So, you’ve already taken your baby steps with the station staircase. Now you need to go higher.”
He rose from the chair, curling his hands into fists, but he refused to look at his gray-haired doctor.
“Easy for you to say. You don’t know what it’s like. The anticipation of the fall. Then feeling like nothing is beneath your feet any more. The pain.” He paused to dislodge the scene from his mind. “This is stupid. I’m not afraid of heights.”
“You had the dream again.” The doctor’s matter-of-fact tone, irritated him. The man wasn’t listening.
Tyler walked away, running his hand through his hair. He didn’t say a word.
“Was it the same?”
He kept his back to the man, but he released a scornful chuckle. “It’s no dream. Dreams I can handle. It’s a nightmare. An exact replay of what happened. I get to relive it every time, knowing what’s going to happen and unable to stop it. Even in my sleep the fall doesn’t make sense.”
“Tyler, your dreams are causing a conditioned response in you that’s not instinctual, or your response is causing the dreams. Either way, you need to break the cycle.”
Break the cycle? Really? And he was paying this man how much out of his own pocket? Is this how Meghan Haskell would handle his temporary problem? Because it was temporary. He refused to accept his fear as permanent.
The doctor’s toneless voice interrupted his thoughts. “You said it doesn’t make sense. What doesn’t make sense?”
He half turned toward Dr. Preston. “I always play it safe, double checking everything. There was no reason for me to fall.” He had to be careful not to get too detailed. If the doctor discovered it was a work accident, there would be problems for him at the station. But the fact was, there were safeties on the safeties in the equipment. There should be no way for that line to have let go.
“What are you saying?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. But I need to find out why I fell.”
The doctor leaned forward in his leather chair. “Yes, you do. This could aid you in overcoming your fear. If you can find out why it happened and know that you can prevent it from occurring again, you may have a breakthrough. Was there anyone else there when it happened.”
He nodded absently. “Yes, three other people.” It was protocol for there to be an investigation, but the Chief hadn’t called him in to go over it. Why was that? Did Chief think he couldn’t handle it? Shit.
“Then I suggest you talk to them about it. I’m surprised you haven’t yet.”
A new purpose began to take shape. He checked the line, every time. It was habit. Could the entire gear assemblage have broken? He didn’t see anything when they pulled him into the helo because he was unconscious. “It seems an unwritten agreement that we don’t talk about it. That’s going to change.” He strode back to the chair across from the doctor. The first person he planned to talk to was the Chief.
“But this doesn’t get you out of going to the mall.”
He folded his arms. “We’re back to that again?”
* * * * *
Tyler nodded to Dr. Preston’s secretary and strode out of the renovated old single-story Cracker building that was so typical on the northwest coast of Florida. He slowed as he checked his watch. He would have liked to have gone back to Meghan Haskell’s office to pick up Drew, so he could see her again, but his own appointment had made that impossible.
Already the skies were clearing. If he wanted, he could go home and get his Harley. Unlike the kid, he wouldn’t mind a few sprinkles because he wore a helmet. Florida might not have a helmet law, but he always wore one. It was safety equipment, like the kind that shouldn’t let go in a helo.
But that would be another half-hour out of his day and he wanted to ask the chief about the investigation before heading for St. Pete’s Beach. His whole crew had the day off, so it wasn’t as if he’d find his pilot, Samantha, at the station, but the Chief would be there.
Pulling out of the parking lot, he headed for the Air Station. He didn’t really want to go there on his day off, but he needed to do something immediately now that he had a focus.
He hated reacting. This was acting, forward motion. For the first time in four months, he felt comfortable in his own skin again. Why hadn’t he asked the chief for the report before now?
The answer was obvious. He didn’t need a shrink to figure that out. It was because deep down he was concerned that he might have do
ne something wrong. Everything was habit, but what if he’d been careless?
He pulled his truck out of the parking lot and headed for the station. He always played it safe, something his dad had ingrained in him as a young child. As a logger, his dad had a lot of people working for him doing dangerous work, yet none of them had been injured on the job if they followed all the safety precautions. Those who didn’t follow them were usually fired.
As he arrived at the gate, he pulled out his ID. The MP looked at him as if he’d lost his mind coming in when he obviously didn’t have to be there, but he didn’t say anything and let him in. Once at the hanger, he parked and went inside the steel building.
Ten minutes later he was back out. What a freakin’ dead end that was. The investigation was still in progress and from his chief’s choice of words, he’d bet they hadn’t even started it yet.
Shit, it had taken them five months to discover that Drew’s accident had been caused by weak bolts in the ceiling joist of the hanger. Drew was back at work, but he still saw Dr. Haskell on a weekly basis.
Tyler tensed. Why was the kid still seeing the doc? Because he liked her? Tyler didn’t like the feeling in his gut at that idea. He shook his head. No, the receptionist was more Drew’s speed. Dark hair, dark eyes and a rack that had to be fake. Meghan was blonde, aqua-eyed and real all over. He’d bet a month’s salary on that.
Jumping into the truck again, he started it up. Soon he would return to being a rescue swimmer. It was who he was. Even as a teenager he was saving people off the coast of Maine as a life guard. It was what he was meant to do.
There was no way he’d settle for some desk job. He’d freakin’ quit the Coast Guard altogether before pushing paper around or sending others out to do what he was damn good at himself. He had to get over his stupid phobia.
As his shrink said, a phobia was an excessive fear of something that even he could see was unreasonable. If you can find out why it happened and know that you can prevent it from occurring again, you may have a breakthrough. His doctor’s words rebounded in his head. If he could determine why it happened. It looked like the only way to discover that was to do his own investigation.
There were a limited number of reasons why the cable which could hold a horse would snap under his own weight. Those reasons fell into two categories, human error or mechanical. His crew was off today, so talking to them about that night was out.
Suddenly, his whole body came alive as if he’d had a few too many energy drinks. He knew exactly who could help him with the mechanical side and the man was only a thirty-minute ride away at Broken Oak Horse Farm.
Glancing at the road signs, he took a quick left then headed back the way he came. St. Pete’s Beach could wait. Kicking his fear of heights was top priority. Besides, Ryan Crawford owed him a favor. It was time to collect on it.
CHAPTER THREE
You sure you’re okay with me giving Alix your number?” Meghan adjusted the air conditioning vent as she sat in the parking lot of Westward Memorial Hospital. The humidity had rolled in last night and it was already in the eighties.
Jessie’s response was quick. “Sure. But just be aware, losing part of a leg is totally different from having two you can’t feel or use. Not sure if I’ll be much help.”
“I think you’re the closest thing I’ve got. Unless you happen to have a paralyzed female veteran staying at Broken Oak.”
Jessie laughed. “Meg, we haven’t even finished the bunkhouse. It will be a couple months before we open for business. Speaking of, any chance you want to do some moonlighting over here? I know Ryan is looking for a psychologist for one of the regular staff. He’d hire you fulltime in a heartbeat, with my recommendation of course.”
Meghan smiled. “That is tempting, but I’m finally doing okay now because of this government contract. Thanks for the offer though, and the favor.”
“No problem. Alix can call anytime. It will give me a break from all the work around here.”
“You’re not over doing it, are you?”
“Oh, don’t you go all big sister on me, now. I’m fine.” A voice in the background made it clear Jessie wasn’t alone. “Listen, I gotta go. Work calls. Talk to you later.”
Meghan hung up and turned off the engine of her six-year-old sedan. She couldn’t help worrying about her little sister, but Jess hated to be coddled. At least her sister was willing to help.
She strode toward the automatic doors of the facility and the coolness they offered. Her excitement over being able to offer Alix someone she could talk to who might have a more similar background had her picking up the pace.
In no time, she opened the door to room 212 only to find it filled to capacity. She glanced at the clock on the wall. She was right on time, not early like she tended to be.
“Come in Dr. Haskell. These gorillas were just leaving.” Alix sat in her hospital bed as if she were a queen holding court and the four men in uniform around her were her devoted knights. Meghan recognized Drew, Leonard and Steve as they were or had been clients of hers. The last man wasn’t dressed in a flight suit like the others. From earlier conversations with Alix, he had to be Kolbe.
She’d learned more from Alix about the Air Station than any of the men had ever told her. There were two helicopter crews of four team members. Each one consisted of two pilots, one flight mechanic and one rescue swimmer. Usually, the crews stayed the same, but not always. The day Alix’s helicopter went down, Leonard, Emilio, and the mechanic, Steve, were on board. Her regular crew.
Meghan moved her gaze from the men to Alix and smiled. Alix put on a good front with her fellow Coast Guardsmen, but she was devastated by her accident and subsequent paralysis. She’d already confided her fears of never getting married or having a family, something she’d always thought she’d have. At only twenty-six, she definitely deserved it.
“Aw, come on Alix, we know you two are just going to talk about the latest movie hunk and trade recipes.” The tall young man with dark hair who she believed was Kolbe, received a swat on the tattoo of an octopus that peeked out from his t-shirt sleeve. He grabbed his bicep. “Ow. Why are you always beating on me? Kiss it and make it better?”
“Kolbe, take a hike.”
The man grasped his chest as if her words had hurt him, but the twinkle in his eye made it clear their repartee was a common occurrence.
Drew, his blond hair slicked back as usual, winked. “I think Alix is a lot stronger than the docs think she is. She just likes being waited on hand and foot.”
Meghan tensed, worried about how Alix would take that.
“Yeah, dumbass, that was my plan. Get busted up for life just so I could be pampered. Leo, get him out of here.” She shook her head but smiled.
Leonard, the oldest of them all, locked his arm around Drew’s head. “Come on, you heard the lady. We were just leaving anyway.” He looked at Alix. “Going up with Sam to do a manatee count.”
Drew struggled and Leonard let him go, but followed with a friendly shove toward the door. Emilio gave Alix the thumbs up as he left as well.
Kolbe’s gaze found Meghan and he wiggled his brows. “Hey doc, if she confesses her secret love for me, be sure to let me know.”
She shook her head at the flirt before he laughed and made his exit. Then she turned her attention to Alix.
“Sorry about that. They aren’t so good in civilized situations, but I wouldn’t want anyone else to have my back.” Alix smiled.
It was hard to believe the beautiful blonde with large brown eyes and a pert nose was one of the best helicopter pilots on the east coast, at least that was according to Leonard. “I thought they behaved pretty well.”
Alix’s eyebrow rose, but she didn’t say anything.
Meghan pulled up the chair the men had pushed aside and took off her glasses so she could see Alix’s facial expressions clearly. “How are you doing?”
Her patient immediately frowned. “Crappy. My father is all over this now and won’t let it
go.”
“Let what go?”
“The accident. This.” She waved her hand toward her legs. “He wants someone to blame.”
She studied Alix. “What about you? Do you want to blame someone?”
“Of course I do. But until we know why my Dolphin went ballistic on me, there’s no one to blame. And what if they discover that it was just a faulty bolt, like with Drew’s accident? Or worse?”
“What would be worse?”
“What if I caused the accident somehow? Put my crew in grave danger? The helo was spinning faster than a twister ride at an amusement park. My crew had to jump into the water, hoping the whole ride didn’t come down on top of them.”
Meghan’s heart constricted, and she reached for the woman’s hand. “Alix, the fact your crew made it out alive is a testament to how good a pilot you are. Good pilots like you don’t cause accidents.”
Alix stared at her with hope, and Meghan squeezed her hand.
“Well, it’s going to suck if it’s some kind of malfunction.” Alix pulled her hand away and crossed her arms. “My dad won’t rest until he sues the company that made the machine, or the part for that matter.”
She sat back, crossing her legs. “That’s fine. Your dad loves you. You are the primary focus for him and your brothers. He needs to direct his anger. And I’m sure by time the investigation is completed, your dad will have cooled off and maybe even refocused his energy on how to get you to the best you can be.”
“That’s a waste of time. This is the best it’s going to get. The doctors keep saying they want to run more tests and that it may not be permanent, but they are just trying to keep a positive spin on this. The fact is, I’ll never walk.” Alix’s eyes filled with tears.
Meghan resisted the urge to comfort her. This was part of the process that Alix needed to go through. “I don’t think you should give up hope yet, but waiting for a miracle won’t help you now. You need to figure out what you can do and plan accordingly.”
Alix looked at her as if she was a monster. “Do? Look at me. I can’t do anything.”