He gave her a chin up. “Goodbye, Summer.”
“Ouch! That had to hurt,” Ron said as he bit down on his fist.
“I’m not gonna lie—it did. But, I’m in love with Nikki, so I had to do it.”
“Dude, what did you just say?”
What did he just say? Was he in love with Nikki? He would not have said it if it weren’t true. He turned to Ron and said, “I’m in love with Nikki. What am I going to do, Ron? What if she doesn’t feel the same way about me?”
“Know what? You two need to stop having great sex and talk. I gotta get back to work.”
Logan grabbed the empty glass off the bar and set it in the sink. Not only did Summer leave without paying, but he also forgot to ask her to pay. Ron was correct; he and Nikki had to talk. They were more than just two people messing around. She was his girlfriend, and she needed to hear that from him.
Chapter Twenty Two
Wedding Day
Nikki stayed at her apartment the night before the wedding. She was far too addlebrained to spend another night sleeping next to Logan Sloan. Her mind and body had been over-sexed. She shook her head to clear it. The entire day all she’d been able to do was think about Logan. It was just too much. She couldn’t concentrate on work. She was mean to staff members. As much as she wanted to blame it on the altercation with Gayle, she could not.
She just needed to step back and take a deep breath. She didn’t feel like she’d really been able to do that since she and Logan had reconciled. There was no time for it now either. She had to get ready for Kenya’s wedding. She lifted her hands and rubbed them over her face. The idea of going to that wedding made her overheat. There was no way in hell to avoid Judith the entire night. They would run into each other; what words would be exchanged between them remained to be seen.
Why did she agree to attend? Because she needed Kenya. She needed some semblance of a family. Her father was not as accessible as he had been before. One of his sons had been drafted to play pro football. He was a proud father of a star athlete who didn’t have time for the "oops" child any longer. Why should he? The star athlete son was a kid compared to her. She was an adult capable of handling her problems without her father or anyone else holding her hand.
Nikki slipped on a figure-fitting strapless blue dress and strappy heels before she freshened her makeup, fluffed the curls of her hair, and added a delicate gold chain and bracelet to complete the ensemble. As she looked at her reflection, she realized that she looked different.
A small smile played on her lips as she remembered how at first she felt uncomfortable, and she didn’t like it when Logan stared at her when she was naked or wore a dress, but not anymore. Even now, she blushed thinking about how many nights she tried to cover her body with the sheet, and he’d move it away. His words were so comforting that she believed him. She believed she was pretty and sexy. Looking in the mirror, she was all that and then some. Mainly, she was a woman in love with a man who accepted her as faulty as she was.
She knew she needed to talk to Logan. They were operating as a couple but not expressing anything in particular. He would hold her at night and whisper inaudible words. When she’d ask to repeat what he said, he’d withdraw.
Maybe she was holding back her feelings because he wasn’t sure about how he felt love-wise. He could adore her and not be in love with her. He could walk out on her just like everyone else had. Mentally, she would be unable to handle it. Physically, she would have to appear normal as if her life had not hit rock bottom. Therefore, they needed to talk and define their relationship and where it was going.
Today it wouldn’t happen. This was a special occasion, and she planned to be happy for Kenya. The buzzer rang. Logan was right on time as usual. She grabbed her purse and silk wrap and left the apartment. They agreed she would meet him in the lobby. That way she wouldn’t have an opportunity to change her dress or shoes.
She stepped off the elevator and saw Logan standing by the mailboxes. Her heart skipped several beats as she soaked in his lusciousness. Everything about him spelled classic film actor—from his slicked-back hair to the shiny patent leather shoes. He would turn the heads of every female at the wedding; heck, even Kenya might take a second look. She didn’t know what the groom looked like, but he couldn’t be as handsome as Logan Sloan.
Logan smiled, and her core warmed. “Baby, you look fantastic,” he said, taking her hand in his and kissing her lightly on the lips. “I don’t want to smear your lipstick.”
“You are totally Mr. Yummy today. I have to drop the ‘chef’ since you aren’t in that gear. You will be fighting the women off tonight.”
He grinned. “Am I still referred to like that?”
“Of course. You are forever tagged Chef Yummy.”
“All eyes will be on you today.” He ran his hand up her bare arm. “You are so beautiful, Nikki. I’ll hurt a man if he tries to push up on you.”
She tapped him on the chin. “We’re both going to be good. We better go. I want to get this over with.”
Logan slipped his arm through hers. “Anytime you start to feel overwhelmed let me know, and we’re out.”
Her head nodded slightly. “Okay. Logan, I have to get through this night without falling apart. Judith is my mother, like it or not; I’ll have to see her again, eventually.”
“I get that. However, I will not let her degrade you; that will not happen, Nikki,” he said forcefully.
Stunned, Nikki stood there frozen until he tugged her. All she could think was how long this day was going to be.
*****
Nikki and Logan arrived at the wedding just as the guests were being seated. She chose to sit at the back of the venue out of sight of Judith, who sat proudly in the front row. She could not see the expressions on her father and step-mother’s faces, but she bet it was not one of joy.
The elegant wedding ceremony took place at Severance Hall, and Kenya walked down the winding staircase in a white lace ball gown that Vera Wang designed especially for her. According to the gossipers surrounding her, Kenya’s new husband, Dr. Ming Yang, is in some way related to the award-winning designer.
She opened the program to read it. The wedding party itself was small and consisted of two bridesmaids, and two groomsmen. It was weird for her to see the unfamiliar women’s names listed as Kenya’s sisters. She imagined the excitement the three shared while planning the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, and all the other activities the bridal party did together. She was also a sister and was left out of all of it.
Logan squeezed her hand. “Hey, are you okay? Your hand is cold as ice.”
“I don’t belong here. Why did I agree to come?” she whispered.
“Sweetheart, we can leave like you’re itching to do, or we can stay and honor your sister’s wishes. I know how hard this is for you, but I’m here and will be by your side.”
She squeezed his hand. “Thank you for being with me. I couldn’t do this without you.”
After the short wedding ceremony, they walked into the reception hall for cocktails and then dinner. Nikki took a moment and looked around. The glam and glitz were out of a magazine. The two massive crystal chandeliers provided the right amount of romantic lighting. White-and-black decorations covered over two hundred tables dressed with crystal vases, filled with fresh white roses. A large dance floor, a sound system, and every amenity imaginable were on hand.
French double doors opened onto a balcony outside that overlooked a duck pond. Nikki was in awe. A young couple gossiping about the venue looked at her and then moved their conversation to a nearby table.
Logan leaned over and said, “This is something, huh?”
“It is very grand and over the top. But it is obvious they have money to spend on a lavish wedding.”
“I agree. They probably spent more on their wedding than it took to open my restaurant. Our wedding will be nice but nothing like this grand display.”
She looked up at him. Even though s
he wore heels, he was taller than her. “Excuse me?”
He raised his brow matter-of-factly. “Yes, you heard right. I think about stuff like that, Nikki.”
Her mouth moved, but nothing came out but gibberish at first. “Uh, um… no, Logan. You can’t say that like it is normal and have me answer normally.”
“Don’t have a stroke; I’m joking. I did kind of hope you’d laugh, but you freaked out instead.”
“No, I’m not freaking out; you caught me by surprise.”
They heard the DJ announce that it was time to welcome the bride and groom. Logan took Nikki’s hand and said, “We better find our table, and you were freaking out.”
Oh, Lord, Nikki thought. This man is going to make me lose it in front of all these people.
The DJ played a lively dance song, and the guests stood as Kenya and Ming came through the main doors dancing and bobbing to the music. Kenya was radiant in a second dress. This dress was also white, but tight and short. It showed off her curves and long legs. Ming had changed from his white tux into a white suit. Who would have thought they’d look so perfect together. She was African-American, and he was American-Chinese.
Once they were seated, Nikki sat down, and Logan put an arm around her shoulder. They were seated with other couples they assumed were colleagues or friends of the couple. They only introduced themselves by name. Nikki didn’t reveal she was another sister of the bride.
They sat and chatted as others came up, intermittently, to talk to the other couples at the table. Logan was quick to smile and introduce them. Nikki guessed that was the greeter in him since he did it so often at the restaurant.
The DJ then announced it was time for the first dance. “I want to get a picture.” She got up from her seat and moved to the edge of the dance floor so she would have a better view. Before she got too close, she looked for Judith first.
Kenya and Ming looked into each other’s eyes lovingly as they swayed to the music. After the first dance came the father-daughter dance. Kenya’s father joined her on the dance floor, and the two of them laughed and talked as they moved around the floor. Most of all, they looked to be very happy.
Nikki realized, for the first time, that if she ever got married, there would be no father-daughter dance or a mother-daughter dance. She was missing those critical components. She shouldn’t count out her father; he probably would be a part of her wedding. But she knew for sure Judith would not be a part of her special day.
She started to feel a little sad, and that quickly led to her feeling overwhelmed. That led to her feeling claustrophobic in a room packed with people she didn’t know.
The walls were closing in. Oh no, she thought. A panic attack. She hadn’t had one of those in years—she had had one when she had to make the valedictorian speech at her high school graduation and another one when she first addressed a room full of executives.
She backed away from the crowd. She needed air and went through the French doors to stand on the balcony. You can breathe. Just breathe, she repeated to herself over and over. Where is a paper bag when you need one?
She had to get it together. Leaving the reception was out of the question. Besides, Logan was still inside. She needed to figure out how to stop the dang panic attack before it got worse. Her heartbeat was erratic, her palms were sweaty, and her chest felt as if an elephant were sitting on it. She couldn’t remember what to do to stop it.
Then, just when it was getting really bad, she felt a hand on the small of her back. Logan was standing beside her, and he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Are you okay? Do we need to get out of here?”
The tone of his voice, the heat of his breath on her neck, the weight of his hand on her lower back—he seemed to calm her. She shook her head. “No. I’m fine.” She only needed him. Logan stood with her and was able to calm her down. “I’m okay now that you are here.”
“Do you want some water or a drink?”
She looked up at him. “All I need is you to stay by my side.”
“I can do that.”
“Just a few more minutes, then we can go back inside.”
He rubbed her lower back. “Take as long as you need, babe.”
After feasting on a meal of assorted meats, vegetables, and other side dishes that impressed Logan, it was time for the festivities to start. Nikki still had not seen or heard Judith. She was beginning to wonder if Kenya allowed her to come to the reception. When the toasts were given, the parents and close friends spoke, but not a word from Judith.
When the DJ played "Love Letters" by R. Kelly, Logan led Nikki to the floor and pulled her against him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and she melted into him. When she was in his arms, she felt safe, secure, and oh so… loved.
She closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder. They swayed back and forth in an almost hypnotic fashion, following the slow and lovely melody of the music. This was the feeling Mimi was explaining to her. This is what love felt like. This had to be it because she had never felt anything like it before.
Logan whispered in her ear. “I really care about you, Nikki. You don’t know how much you mean to me.”
She pulled back to look up at him, amazement filling her countenance. “I would like to know how you really feel about me,” she whispered back.
Logan leaned in and kissed her slowly and sweetly. Forgetting that they were in a room full of people, she kissed him back, all her inhibitions dropping away for the duration of that one perfect kiss.
He looked into her eyes and answered her. “That’s how much I care about you, Nikki.”
As the song drew to a close, Nikki felt utterly overwhelmed with emotion. She told Logan that she needed to have a minute for herself and headed for the restroom. She sat down on the bench in the powder room. Even the bathroom was elegant.
She just needed a moment to gather herself. When she heard other people entering the bathroom, she got up and went into the other room where there were large mirrors and plenty of counters to spread out makeup. She pretended to fix her makeup.
“Nikki! I’ve been looking all over for you," Kenya squealed.
The reflection behind her was Kenya with her two bridesmaids, her sisters. Nikki wondered how Kenya knew who she was. They hadn’t seen each other in years. But she turned around and smiled. “Kenya. Wow, you look so beautiful. Congratulations on the wedding, and I hope you have a long happy life together.”
“Thank you for coming, Nikki; it’s so good to see you again,” she said hugging Nikki close to her.
“I know, right? It has been six or seven years since we saw each other. I’m surprised you recognized me.”
“How can I not recognize my sister? Plus, your pretty hair is a dead giveaway. Come, I want you to meet my sisters Katrina and Lenora.”
She extended her hand to the two women, who actually resembled Kenya. Nikki, still feeling a little shell-shocked, attempted to make small talk. “Hello, nice to meet you. You both looked beautiful in the wedding also.”
“Nice to meet you, too, Nikki,” Katrina replied first. “We didn’t know Kenya had other siblings.”
“I’m the only one that I know about,” Nikki said with a nervous chuckle.
“Isn’t she as pretty as I said?” Kenya asked her sisters in a cheery voice. “I’ve missed her so much.”
“Come on, Lenora; we’ll let them catch up. It was nice to meet you, Nikki.”
Nikki was confused by the sudden departure of the sisters and asked. “Are they upset about me being here, Kenya? I don’t want to be a problem at your wedding and can leave.”
“They’re fine. I didn’t tell them about you right away, so they are more pissed with me.”
Nikki felt the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck stand up. “Oh, I see. I’m a surprise to them too.”
“Nikki, it’s not like that. I didn’t want to spoil my father’s reputation for them. They adore him and can’t believe he cheated on our mother.”
“So,
you are the oldest?”
Kenya nodded. “I am the oldest. When I broke the news to them, they were devastated.”
Nikki shrugged her shoulders. “Understandably so. Speaking of mothers; where is Judith?”
“You needed to feel at ease tonight, and I told her she was not invited to the reception. We know how Judith is when around men and alcohol. She was not going to ruin my reception or embarrass my in-laws by acting up.”
“That was brave of you, Kenya. No one stands up to her.”
Kenya laughed. “I did. I allowed her to be a part of the wedding and take pictures with us. Tomorrow, before I leave on my honeymoon, Ming and I will have breakfast with her. That’s the best I could do to make her feel a part of my wedding.”
“Well, thank you for looking out for me. I’m sure she’s home making a voodoo doll of me as punishment for missing the reception.”
“She should be relaxing in the five-star hotel room I got for her. She was allowed to order room service too.”
Nikki shook her head. “Wow, you are a forgiving person.”
“I’m a doctor and a Christian. I have to forgive her, but I don’t have to forget what she did to us as kids.”
Those words rang so true, but Nikki was not at that place yet. Forgiving Judith was out of the question; she’d just rather forget she exists. “Ming is so handsome. I didn’t expect…”
Kenya’s eyes lit up. “You didn’t expect him to be Asian. The saying goes, we don’t choose who we fall in love with. Which reminds me: where is your boyfriend? I want to meet him.”
“Of course.” Nikki nodded, still reeling from meeting the two sisters and from what Kenya had said about love.
After she and Kenya left the powder room, she started moving towards the ballroom and saw Logan standing by the water fountain. She motioned for him to come over.
“Wow, is that your boyfriend?” Kenya asked.
Nikki smiled, feeling it spread from ear to ear. “Yes, that is Logan, my boyfriend.”
Text 'Yes' if You Love Me Page 17