by April Wilson
I’m panting with arousal so intense it hurts. My left leg buckles, and he catches me with a strong arm around my waist.
“Do you feel this?” he grates, grinding his cock into me. “Do you?”
“Yes!”
“Does this feel like I don’t want you?”
“No!” My eyes are burning now, from the mix of salt and tears, and from the searing realization that no matter how tempted I am to simply give in, I can’t.
Cooper grips the back of my neck and marches me toward the bedroom. I stumble in the dark, dizzy from the mix of arousal and exhilaration rioting inside me. Blood is surging into my dick, and I’m hard as a pike. This is what I get for going without him for so long.
Cooper pushes me face down on the bed, bending over me as he presses the side of my face into the bed. I’ve never seen him so angry.
“You are fucking mine, do you hear me?” he hisses in my ear.
“Yes!” I squeeze my eyes shut. How did I ever think I could leave him? How did I ever think I had any control in this relationship? I have none, because he fucking owns me, and we both know it. “Cooper, please.”
“Please what?” He takes a deep breath, and his voice drops to a low rumble. “Tell me what you want, Sam.”
“I can’t do this right now.” We both know if he forces the issue, I’ll cave.
For a moment, I think he didn’t hear me. The room is silent—too silent. The only sound I hear is the rush of blood through my skull. Abruptly, he releases his grip on my neck and pushes himself away from me, leaving me suddenly alone and feeling bereft. I roll into a sitting position and stare at the floor, at his scuffed black boots, too shaken to face him. I’ve never denied him anything before. Never.
“Do you want me to go?” he says, his voice hollow. Jesus, he sounds hurt.
I gaze up at him, desperate for him to understand. “No! I don’t want you to go.” Please don’t go.
At the moment, with his hands propped on his lean hips, he looks very much like the Marine drill sergeant he once was. “You don’t want me, but you don’t want me to leave either. What the hell do you want?”
I grab one of his hands and squeeze it, grateful for the contact. Then I rise and stand before him, steeling myself for the possibility of rejection. “Stay with me tonight. No sex, just sleep with me. I’ve spent the past three months alone in my bed, missing you. Needing you. Stay with me tonight. Please.”
His expression tightens. “You’re the one who left.”
Left me. I can hear his unspoken accusation. I did hurt him.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I had to.” I reach up with both hands and touch his face, brushing my thumbs along his sharp cheekbones. “I love you, Cooper. It killed me to leave, but when you refused to dance with me at Beth’s wedding…it was the last straw. We were in a safe place, surrounded by family and friends. I knew if you couldn’t stand up with me there, you never would. And I need you to do that. I need you to stand up with me, claim me, claim us. I need you to be my boyfriend, not just my fuck-buddy. Not in front of the whole world, but at least in front of the people who love us. People we trust. You say you love me. I need you to act like it.”
His expression is fixed, hard as stone, not giving me any indication of what’s going through his mind. But his eyes—his eyes aren’t quite so stoic. I see a flash of panic in their depths, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was scared. But that’s impossible. Nothing scares Cooper. He’s a force of nature.
He paces, running his fingers through his hair, and for a moment, I’m afraid he’s going to walk out. But then he stops and returns to stand in front of me. His hands frame my face, and his voice softens. “All right, I’ll stay. Have you eaten?”
“No,” I say, nearly dizzy with relief.
Some strands of my hair have fallen loose from my topknot, and he tucks them behind my ear. “You need to eat,” he says. “Let’s order in, and we’ll watch a movie or see if there’s a game on tonight. How does that sound?”
My throat works as I swallow hard, then nod. “That sounds great.”
Cooper pulls me into his arms and kisses me gently, his touch both soothing and familiar. “Welcome home, Sam.”
I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from my chest, and I can finally breathe again. “It’s good to be home.”
Chapter 3
Sam
We order in pizza and hot wings, and I’ve got plenty of beer in the fridge. We end up watching a Chicago Bulls versus Knicks game on TV. I’m not really into sports, but I know he is. I’m more of a sci-fi and aliens nerd. But right now, I’m just happy to be sitting beside him on the sofa, both of us propping our feet on the coffee table. I lean into him, melding my body against his, and he lays his hand on my thigh. Every once in a while, he squeezes my leg, but other than that, he doesn’t try to touch me. At least not sexually.
It feels good to be with him again. If only he’d take a couple steps to meet me partway, we’d be okay. Am I asking too much? Am I being too much of a drama queen?
I notice that the apartment is dark—Cooper must have turned off the light. The glow from the television is the only light in the room, except for a bit of ambient city night light coming through the partly open drapes. It’s been a long day and, with a full belly and two beers in me, I can’t keep my eyes open. My eyelids grow heavier and heavier until keeping them open becomes impossible.
I awake sometime later when Cooper gently nudges me. “Come on, kid,” he says. “You’re tuckered out.” He sounds a lot more relaxed now, more like his usual self. “Let’s get you to bed.”
He stands and pulls me to my feet, and I follow him into the bedroom. While he pulls down the bedding, I head for the bathroom to take a piss and brush my teeth. When I come out wearing only my boxer briefs, he’s sitting at the foot of my bed, looking pensive. He catches sight of me, and his gaze darkens hungrily as it skims my torso.
He stands, pointing at the bed. “In you go.”
I grab his arm. “You’re going to stay, right? You said you would.”
For a minute, I think he’s going to refuse, but then he nods. “I’ll stay.”
I climb into bed and get comfortable while he goes into the bathroom. Cooper usually sleeps here with me, instead of upstairs in the penthouse. We have our routine. He sleeps here with me, and then he’s usually gone before I awake, to head upstairs before Shane leaves for work. I think he and Shane have an unspoken agreement between them that Beth will never be left unprotected…not after everything she’s been through—not just one attempt on her life, but two. Later, I would head upstairs and have breakfast with Beth before escorting her to work, and then I’d shadow her all day as her bodyguard. I get to hang out with my best friend all day—what better job could there be? Or, at least I did before the botched hit-and-run accident.
Cooper turns off the light in the bathroom and heads for the bed, climbing in beside me. He stretches out on his back, pulling me into his arms, and sighs with pleasure. I know the feeling. I lay my head on his lightly-furred chest and drape my arm across his washboard waist.
He pulls the covers up over us, then slips his hand beneath the bedding to rub slow circles on my bare back, making my nerve endings tingle. I muffle a groan and press my face into his shoulder. The familiar, slightly musky scent of his skin both comforts and arouses me, and my dick stirs. I can sense him stirring beneath the bedding too.
At first, I can’t sleep for thinking about how we’re not having sex. It’s been so long, and I know we both want to. But I just can’t. It would negate everything I tried to accomplish by leaving if we just fall right back into our old patterns. But eventually, the feel of his hand rubbing my back relaxes me, and I become drowsy.
He kisses my forehead. “Sleep, baby. Your body needs sleep to heal.”
The next thing I know, he rolls me to my side and spoons behind me, draping his arm securely around my waist. Neither one of us comments on his erection, which prods in
sistently against my ass. I smile, reassured by the blatant evidence that he still wants me, and finally allow myself to doze off.
Sometime in the night I awake to the feel of his lips in my hair, as he whispers to me. “I’m going to make this right for you, baby. You just gotta trust me.”
His words are so cryptic. What is he not telling me?
I roll over to face him, my brain only half awake. “Of course I trust you.”
“Good.” He kisses me, long and slow, and I melt inside. “Please don’t leave me again,” he says. “You have no idea what that did to me.”
My throat closes, and all I can do is tighten my arms around him. I do know, because leaving him nearly killed me.
* * *
When I wake the next morning, I’m alone in my bed, and Cooper’s spot is cold. I know without checking that he’s gone. Still, I sit up and call his name, just in case he’s still here. But there’s no answer.
I’m not surprised. It’s seven-thirty. He’ll be upstairs making breakfast for Beth and seeing her off to work. Part of me wants to go up there and see her before she leaves, but I really don’t want to run into Miguel Rodriquez right now. I have nothing against the guy—he’s a great guy, and a more than competent bodyguard—but I know I’ll be bitten by the green-eyed monster. I hate that I’m back, and yet not fit to return to work. I hate that I’m not the one who will be keeping Beth company at work, and more importantly keeping her safe. There’s a baby to consider now, too. It should be me.
Damn, I miss hanging with that girl. She totally gets me, and she never judges.
I shower and dress, killing time until I know Beth and Miguel have left for Clancy’s Bookshop, where Beth reigns supreme as CEO and commander-in-chief-extraordinaire. At nine o’clock, I head up to the penthouse floor, crossing through the foyer and into the sprawling apartment. “Cooper?”
“In the kitchen.”
As soon as I take a seat at the breakfast bar, he sets a plate of warm food in front of me. He was expecting me, of course, and that makes me smile. Maybe there’s hope for us.
“Eat,” he says, pointing at the mountain of food on my plate. “You’ve lost weight and muscle tone. You need both to get your strength back.”
“Yes, sir,” I say, saluting him as I reach for a fork.
He steps close, wraps his hand around the back of my head, and pulls me close for a long kiss, fairly eating at my mouth. “Don’t get smart with me,” he murmurs against my lips. Then he pulls back and points at my plate. “Eat. If you want more, I’ll make more.”
I dig into my food, realizing how much I’ve missed his cooking. He’s gone all out—eggs, bacon, hash brown potatoes, toast, coffee. Luckily for me, Cooper’s an awesome cook. We have an agreement—he does the cooking and I do the dishes. It’s a win-win for me.
“How’s Miguel working out?” I say, after swallowing a mouthful of food.
“Fine. He and Beth are close, and Miguel’s a good guy. He’s quiet, but he’s dedicated. She’s in good hands with him. They both are.”
And by they, I know he means the baby boy she’s carrying. “How’s she doing with the pregnancy? Is everything okay with the baby?”
“She still has morning sickness from time to time, but a little dry toast and weak tea gets her through that. The baby’s doing fine. He’s growing right on schedule.”
Cooper pours me a second cup of black coffee. “When do you think you’ll be able to pass the fitness assessment?”
I take a sip of coffee. “I’m about three-quarters of the way there. In another two or three weeks, I should be good.”
He nods. “Good. As much as Beth likes Miguel, I know she wants you back. You can train in the fitness room here, or you can go train at the office. Just get busy and get yourself back into fighting shape.”
I spread butter on my toast and take a bite, saluting him. “Sir, yes, sir!”
“You keep that up, wise guy, and see what happens.”
That shuts me up quick. Right now, I’m physically no match for Cooper. He could kick my ass in the boxing ring right now, if he was so inclined. It wouldn’t be the first time, and I’m not anxious for a repeat. A guy’s got his pride, you know.
He walks around the counter and steps between my legs, his big hands coming up to cup my face. I close my eyes and lean into his touch. God, it feels good to be with him. How did I survive three months without this?
His lips are warm and gentle on mine as he gives me a chaste kiss. Then he slides his lips down to my throat and gives me a sucking kiss, which I’m sure will leave a mark. The sucking sensation reminds me of other sucking activities, and my dick hardens so fast it takes my breath away.
I make a sound deep in my throat, part pleasure, part pain, and he chuckles. When his hand slides down my torso to the bulge in my jeans, he presses his palm firmly against my erection. I groan.
He chuckles, holding my gaze as he rubs me through my clothing. “You could have gotten fucked last night if you hadn’t been such a pain in the ass. We’ve got a lot to make up for, haven’t we?”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. His touch feels too damn good, and I’m afraid I’ll start blathering like an idiot or, worse yet, begging.
He brushes his thumb across my lower lip and smiles at me, knowing exactly what his touch does to me.
When the elevator chimes, we both turn to see Jake McIntyre walk through the foyer doors. Looking like the angel of death, he’s dressed in all black, as usual. His leather jacket is hanging open, and I can see the handle of a Glock peeking out of the gun holster strapped to his chest. He’s here for work.
“Hey, Sam,” Jake says, giving me a nod. “Welcome back.”
I return the gesture. “Thanks. It’s good to be back.”
Jake turns his attention to Cooper, who doesn’t seem at all surprised to see him here this morning. “You ready to go?”
Cooper nods. “Yeah. I just need to grab my bags.”
“Go?” I stare at Cooper, not even bothering to hide my surprise. He’s leaving? “Where are you going?”
He lays his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. “Relax, kid. I’ve got some business out of town. I won’t be gone long.”
He still didn’t answer my question. I grab his wrist. “Where are you going?”
Cooper studies me for a moment, then glances back at Jake. “Maybe you should wait for me downstairs,” he tells Jake.
My heart starts pounding, and all I can see are red flags. Jake is an enforcer—he’s muscle. He’s surveillance. He’s an extra gun. The only reason he’d be going anywhere with Cooper is to provide serious back-up. Something’s going on.
“Sure thing,” Jake says, and he heads back to the elevator.
Cooper turns to face me. “I have business to take care of out of town, and Jake’s coming along for the ride. It’s no big deal.”
“That’s bullshit! Jake’s protection. Where in the hell are you going that you need protection?”
Cooper takes my face in his hands and gazes into my eyes, his thumbs brushing my cheeks. “Calm down, darlin’. You’re blowing this all out of proportion.”
I grab both of his wrists and glare at him. He’s flat out lying to me. I take a steadying breath. “Cooper, tell me what the hell’s going on.”
He frowns, looking conflicted. “I promised you I’d make everything right, didn’t I? Well, that’s what I’m doing. But first, I’ve got to take care of some business. When I get back, I’ll be able to give you what you want.”
I shake my head, my brow furrowing. “I’m coming with you.”
“Not a chance. You stay here in Chicago and work on regaining your strength. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.”
Some emotion I can’t pinpoint flashes across his face, and then it’s gone, leaving his expression stone cold. My heart slams in my chest as he pulls free of my grasp and walks away, heading down the hall toward his suite.
Something’s going on—something big. I can
’t believe he dismissed me like that. I abandon what’s left of my breakfast and head back to my apartment. My duffle bag and backpack are still where I left them, on the floor inside the door to my apartment. The clothes in it are clean—thanks, Mom—but wrinkled. Oh, well. They’ll have to do. It’s a good thing I didn’t bother to unpack last night.
I head straight for the gun safe in my bedroom closet and pull out my Beretta. Since I don’t know where we’re going, I’d better be prepared for anything. I strap on my chest holster and slip the gun into the cradle, then pull on a jacket to conceal the weapon. Then I stash a back-up firearm and as much extra ammo as I can fit into my backpack. I grab my phone, my charger, and my external battery, and head straight down to the underground parking garage as fast as my leg will allow, hoping I’ll beat Cooper. If I don’t, I’m screwed, because they’ll be gone, and I have no idea where they’re going.
When I step out of the garage elevator, I breathe a sigh of relief because there’s no sign of Cooper.
Jake, who’s leaning against the side of his black Tahoe, frowns when he sees me. “What do you think you’re doing?”
I open the Tahoe’s back hatch and lay my duffle bag and backpack inside. “I’m coming with you.”
Jake looks skeptical. “Did Cooper okay this?”
I open the rear passenger door and slide in. “It doesn’t matter. I’m coming.”
Jake reaches inside the vehicle and pulls back one side of my jacket, exposing my holstered gun. “Sam.”
I knock his hand aside and close the vehicle door. “I’m coming.”
A moment later, the penthouse elevator doors open and Cooper steps out. His gaze locks on me with laser precision, and I can tell he’s pissed. He heads right for me, but Jake intercepts him. The two of them have a heated conversation, Cooper shaking his head adamantly. But Jake gets in his face, and Cooper stands down. I’m not sure what Jake said to him, but it had an impact.
Cooper deposits his one large duffle bag into the back of the SUV, and then he comes to the rear passenger door, opens it, and says, “Move over.”