Finding Redemption (Rollin On Book 5)

by Emilia Finn

  My eyes narrow. “Did you just quote Justin Bieber?”

  “See!” Jon’s face splits into a giant grin. “A walking encyclopedia. But Case, whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it.”

  “That’s Take That!”

  Jon laughs. “Yeah it is. I’m on a roll. But Sunshine, you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be.”

  I roll my eyes. “That’s the GooGoo Dolls.”

  “But it’s true. Okay, I’ll get serious. I love you because you have my heart. I can’t live without you, not because I have a stupid little boy dependency thing going on, but because you’re my other half. You’re my soul mate. We were always meant to be best friends. We’ve been best friends since the day we met, but it was all a precursor, a practice run for when you’d be my wife. I worked out all my jerk behavior and now I’m ready to treat you the way you deserve. I have no life without you, Case. I’d rather spend every single day of my life arguing with you than a single day without you.”

  “Jon.” I sigh. “Leo… you told me a million times. You love me like you love Bobby.”

  “Dude,” Bobby grumbles. “That’s gay as f--”

  “I lied, Sunshine. I mean, Bobby’s a cool dude, but I love you different. So different and so much more. I love you like I’ve loved no one else, and I’ll never love someone else the way I do you.” Jon’s hands cup my face and his fingers thread through my hair. “If you say no again, I won’t be moving on. I won’t be having babies with anyone else. I’ll always want you and I’ll watch and wait for you to let your walls down. I’ll pounce every single time I see you waver. You’re it for me, Case. I’ve never been so scared of anything in my entire life,” his eyes bore into mine meaningfully. “Nothing has ever scared me as much as your rejection does. I can’t live without you.”

  “Leo.”

  “Do you still love me, Sunshine?”

  I can feel him tearing down each and every wall that I built. I thought I was coming here today with a solid foundation, a solid plan to get in and out, but he’s cutting me off at every turn. I’ve always loved him. I never had a choice. “But you signed the papers.”

  Jon takes the folded documents from his back pocket. “These papers?” He rips them to shreds in front of my face. “I signed those to shut you up about my inebriated state when the original certificate was signed. I was a hell of a lot more sober and in control of my faculties than you give me credit for. But now, these don’t exist. I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

  He moves his hands toward me slowly. His fingertips caress my collarbone and I shiver, then he pulls the chain around my neck from underneath the fabric. “May I?”

  He unclasps the chain when I nod and unthreads the ring. Jon stares at it for a long minute then he fishes his own ring from his jeans pocket. He has C-3PO to my R2-D2. I’m not sure we could have picked an uglier set if we tried.

  Jon clasps both rings in his fisted palm, tight enough I wonder if he’s trying to forge them together, then he drops to his knee in front of me again. “Casey, I love you. I’ll never stop loving you. Will you please stay married to me? I’ll make you happy for the rest of your life, I promise.”

  Jon holds my ring at the tip of my fourth finger but he doesn’t push it on. His eyes stare into mine and he waits. “I can get Darth Vader here if you need?” Jon sneers, “I might even consider inviting Chewy if you insist.”

  I try to hold in my laughter and my tears. “Are you always going to be this dumb?”

  Jon nods. “I’ll be anything you want, Sunshine.”

  “I want you exactly the way you are, Leo. I love you just the way you are.”

  Jon smiles wickedly. “Was that Bruno Mars?”

  I hit his shoulder as I hiccup over my laughter. “I didn’t mean it to be, dummy.” I think over my words. “But yeah, you’re right, Bruno Mars said that too.”

  Jon laughs for a moment, but then quickly turns serious. “I need your yes, Case. I need your promise. I promise to love you for the rest of my life. Will you promise the same thing?”

  I nod. “I was already going to love you forever, Leo. You had me the first time you fell asleep with your head in my lap.”

  Jon pushes my ring back into place, it slides on easily then he jumps up from his knee and my neck arches back to keep my eyes on his. “You’ll marry me?”

  I shrug. “Well, I already did. So I guess now I’ll just move the rest of my crap in.”

  “I’ve still got your GHD in my bathroom.”

  I laugh. “I know, Jon. I never expected you’d throw it away.”

  “I considered strangling you with the cord a few times.”

  I laugh. “You idiot.”

  Jon steps closer. “Come and kiss this idiot. I’ve missed you, Case. So fucking much.”

  I smile as my eyes move to his lips. I step closer so our chests rest against each other. “Okay.”

  Jon pounces, his lips connect with mine and his fingers thread through my hair again. He pulls my body roughly against his, then he lifts me so his neck and back straighten out. He lifts me so high, my neck now bends down, but the logistics escape me as I lose myself in his kiss.

  Thank god he tore those papers up.

  Jon pulls away from me, breathlessly panting and bathing my face. “Casey. I love you.”

  I smile as I stare down into his eyes. “I know.”

  Epilogue

  It would take a little over three years before we get arrested again, but it would be totally worth it.

  I’ve been happily married to my Sunshine for three years, four months, three weeks and a handful of hours - since we don’t know the exact time we said I do… the first time.

  We still fight often, she’s just as sassy as ever, maybe even more so, and her cooking abilities still kind of suck. Though she makes up for it in a million other ways in our life.

  I continue to see Sonia, though not nearly as often as that first two years, and about half the time, Casey comes with me. It helps us both understand what’s going on in my scarred boy brain.

  I never told anyone before, but my copy of The King’s Courtney, that novel I carried around with me and read a billion times; I started writing in it as soon as I learned to read and write. Almost every single page had notes written in the margins. I described every single man that ever touched me without my permission. I wrote dates and times, I wrote how many times they visited. I wrote every single thing I could think of, because even then, even at five, six, seven years old, I knew I’d make them pay.

  I might have been a scared little boy, but I was wily as shit. I was in possession of a lot of stolen ID cards. It’s hardly difficult for a kid to swipe a wallet from adults who barely saw said boy. They never knew what was coming for them, but in the months after Casey finally agreed to marry me, again, we took everything to the authorities and not only were my parents arrested and sentenced to many, many years of prison, but so were a lot of other people.

  The punishment felt a little too tame for the crime. Frankly, I preferred the running them down ideas floating around our dinner table, but this was the best way and it left me and my family free and out of prison.

  After two full years of Casey and me trying fertility treatments and nothing happening, we decided we’d start the process of looking at adoption. Our home and hearts are open to any possibility, though adoption isn’t overnight either.

  We’re on a waiting list and we’re just living our lives in the meantime.

  In February of 2017, the year after we married, Sissy gave birth to a giant baby boy. Over ten pounds of fighter baby muscle. She was pissed at Jim!

  Her birth went perfect. No hemorrhaging. No emergency. No NICU.

  And so my nephew James the second, Jamie, was born. He’s perfect, he’s a boy with half Hart blood, and the cycle did not repeat itself. I’m in love.

  In March that same year, Kit gave birth to her own giant boy. Bobby, being the competitive peacock that he is just had to sadd
le that poor girl with over eleven pounds of big headed baby. A month after his cousin Jamie was born, a brand new Bryan Kincaid entered this world. Then ten months after that, his baby sister Brooklyn entered the world screaming down the building. Kit was pissed that B knocked her up again so soon. No one warned her that despite her previous issues with conceiving, that six weeks post-partum is a danger zone of super fertility.

  She swore she was done after Brookey. No more babies for her. No more sex if that’s what it took.

  She’s currently pregnant with her third and due in a couple short months.

  In 2017 and 2018, Jim and Bobby both went back to the octagon and they won. Jimmy finally reclaimed that belt that he lost, then the year after that, he defended and kept it.

  He promised he would take it back, that he would take everything back, and he did.

  Bobby defended his title for three straight years, even with a perpetually pregnant wife and severely broken sleep.

  A year after their wedding, Tina and Aiden conceived their own baby. Tina didn’t even have to birth in secret at home or in a corn field. She had freedom and she had health insurance that covered obstetrics. She was finally living the good life.

  In July 2018, Evie became the proud big sister to Alexandra Kincaid, then a year later to baby Sarah.

  About eighteen months after the paperwork was filed, Evie’s adoption was finally settled, she became Aiden’s officially, he cried like a girl and she got a brand new last name.

  God help him in a few years, because she’s getting sassier each and every birthday. Evie’s our first Rollin’ baby and she’s going to pave the way and leave a fiery trail for her sisters and cousins to walk. And in true Kincaid style, she’s going hard.

  Jack turned eighteen in 2017, then nineteen, then twenty. Our boy turns twenty-one in a few months, he already has a manager – his sister – and he’s fielding sponsorship deals daily.

  Jack ‘The Jackhammer’ Reilly is the face of several high end sports brands, a men’s cologne, a sports drink, and much to most of our disgust, he has a men’s underwear contract and now we get to see his underwear covered junk on busses and bus stops everywhere we go.

  All of his nieces and nephews think it’s hilarious – except Evie. She’s getting old enough now that she thinks it’s gross and embarrassing.

  Jack has been fighting professionally since he turned eighteen. He was given his first shot at the belt at nineteen, and though he lost spectacularly, his first loss ever, he rallied, he trained harder and he came back the next year and he took the belt home.

  His girlfriend Steph, who studied linguistics at college only an hour away, has been by his side every moment that she could. She’s riding the fame train with him and her shy and quiet nature has kept our boy grounded. Without her, he might be swept away by the flash and glamor, instead he’s a model sportsman, family man and role model.

  Kit and Bobby did an amazing job helping him grow into the man he could always be, and I have to say I’m so proud of my entire family. Each and every one of them.

  No matter what happened to me as a boy, no matter who hurt me, and then in turn, I hurt in an attempt to keep them away, it was all leading me here; to the alleyway beside the drug store in town at eleven o’clock at night on a Thursday, half way through my wife’s shift at the club.

  Casey was offered that job in the city, but she turned them down officially after I pulled my head out of my ass.

  Thank god.

  She stayed at 188, but as one of those crazy life cycle things, way back when the club was bought out by some city tycoon and given the financial boost only a drug syndicate could afford, that tycoon would turn out to be none other than Sean ‘I like to beat my wife and daughter’ Frankston. That piece of shit nearly killed my sister. My baby sister, the girl I tried to keep safe for so long was caught up in the car that he tried to kill his ex and daughter in. He almost killed a car full of people I love. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him.

  Aiden did a good job though and word is Sean gives good head in prison now, especially since he’s gumming it these days.

  He’s not an issue for us anymore, but better yet, he’s not an issue for Tina anymore. She’s free.

  She also suddenly owned a bunch of clubs and billions of dollars of other assets. She’s sitting pretty.

  Tina decided to put Case in a managerial position at the club, though she still spends most of her time behind the bar, and she donates one hundred percent of the clubs profits to help battered women. She’s established hundreds of women’s shelters across the country and she’s really making a difference.

  I laugh loud and uninhibited as Casey peeks around the dark alleyway like she’s expecting the cops to jump out at us any moment.

  “Let’s just go back into the club, this is gross.”

  “No, Sunshine. This is tradition. It has to be done this way.”

  “But it smells in here. The trash is overflowing and I’m pretty sure there’s dog poop.”

  I act as though I’m writing notes. “Enhanced sense of smell. Check. Are your boobs tender?”

  “Shut up, Leo. You’re annoying me.”

  “Enhanced moodiness. Check.”

  Casey’s eyes flash to mine and I work to keep my smile under control. She might actually kill me today.

  Just like I’ve always known when my girl’s period is on its way, I also know she’s pregnant right now. I can feel it. Don’t ask me how I know, but I know. Her period isn’t even due yet, she’s not late, but I’ll bet my life that this time we’re getting a positive. For the first year and a half, every month we’d buy out the entire store’s stock of pee sticks and we’d hang around our bathroom with shaking hands and we’d feel our hearts tremble with pain every time the test came back negative.

  We went through several rounds of IVF, but nothing ever stuck. Eventually we stopped testing, and the months her period was late we even stopped hoping. It was usually simply her body fucking with us and she’d get her period the next day.

  It’s been twelve months since she last tested, but I woke up yesterday with this feeling deep in my stomach. This is it. This is our time.

  I didn’t say anything right away, I just watched her. I held her hand and I touched her as much as I could, as though the contact would communicate something more. I’m not wrong. I fucking know I’m not wrong.

  “Just pee, please Sunshine? Do this for me.”

  “I don’t wanna do anything for you. You annoy me.”

  I smile. She isn’t wrong. “Come on, one pee, one stick, then I’ll buy you some ice-cream.”

  Casey huffs as she walks to the wall after snatching a test from my hand. “I think this is really dumb, Leo. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.”

  “Shut up, focaccia face and pee.”

  “Anyone’d think you have a wee fetish.” She grumbles as she lowers her torso against the dirty brick wall and moves into a ninety-degree squat. I smile and feel my dick twitch to life as she pulls her sexy skirt up, then I stand in front of her to block her view in case anyone walks by the alley.

  “Are you ready for this, Sunshine? This is the first day of the rest of our lives.”

  “Shut the hell up, Leo. I’m peeing.”

  I smile as I watch her face relax, as she relieves herself over the drain, as I wait for that magical fucking stick to prove me right.

  I spin at the ‘whoop-whoop’ sound and blue and red flashing lights, and I groan at the flashlight blinding me as I shield my wife so she can stand and pull her panties up.

  “Don’t run, Hart. I’ll chase you down and let my dog rip your dick off.”

  “Why’re you such an asshole, Turner?”

  “Let’s go.”

  “We were just hanging out.” Casey slaps my arm as she passes me. “I swear, Alex. We were being good.”

  “Too bad, Tink. This ain’t your first offense.”

  “Goddamit, Jon! You asshole.”

  I laugh as Alex Turner cuffs m
e and my wife, then as he purposely bashes my head against the roof of his cruiser.

  As soon as he’s in his car and driving toward the station, I lean toward Casey’s pissed off face. “I love you.”

  “Up yours, Jon.”

  I laugh and look to the front seat. “Turner. What’s the test say?”

  “It’s says shut the fuck up.”

  “No seriously. Positive or negative?”

  “It’s says Jon Hart’s a pussy bitch who deserves some time in lockup.”

  I scoff. “Why do you always have such a hard on for me? Is it jealousy? Because I’m already taken? I have friends who fuck dudes. Probably. I could hook you up. Maybe.”

  I laugh as I watch his jaw grind back and forth. “Shut it, Hart.”

  “Is it because I kicked your little brother’s ass that time? I mean seriously, who names their kid Scotch?”

  “Alex?” Casey turns on her sex kitten voice and leans forward. Checkmate. “Honey, please tell me the result. I want to know so I can punch my husband in his stupid face.”

  Alex’s eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror, then they flick to Casey’s. “Dunno why you settled for this asshole, Tink. My brother’s a good man.”

  She laughs. “Your brother and I were never even together. And last I heard, he was dating some other chick anyway. The eternal bachelor is settling down.”

  “Happens to the best of us,” I quip, earning another of her death stares.

  “Alex, please tell me. I need to know.”

  He sighs, but he leans over to his passenger seat and picks up the plastic baggie and flips it over. Despite her outward sass and nonchalance, I can feel the nerves pouring from my wife. I lean toward her and place my forehead on hers. “It’ll be okay, Sunshine. I promise.”

  “You promise?”

  I nod and kiss her nose. “I promise.”

  “Well, hey lookie here,” Alex’s grumpy voice turns bubbly in an instant. “Looks to me you got a positive here, Tink.”