by Zana Bell
“No, Adam, not okay. You find your daughter and are over the moon about it, and you fling a proposal at Cressa out of the blue. How do you think she was feeling?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Her baby, Adam. Her son.”
He was silent. “Adam?”
“I didn’t think.”
“No.”
“So you figure…?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
“Mom, I gotta go. Her flight leaves real soon.”
He barely heard her wishes of good luck as he flicked the phone shut, grabbed his jacket and keys. He glanced at his watch. Man, this was going to be tight. But with more hope, more giddy excitement and more fear than he’d ever felt, he dashed out of the house.
He rode his bike like a maniac, dodging between cars and cursing her broken phone, taking the smallest of gaps that would have had even Cressa drawing in a breath. He parked the bike and ran to the terminal in record time. The airport was really crowded and that didn’t help, but he found her check-in counter almost immediately. He went up and down the long queue. She wasn’t there. He tried asking the check-in clerks if she’d already gone through, but they told him they weren’t allowed to give out information. He tried bribing the security official at the door but got laughed at. He tried paging her, but she either didn’t hear or knew it would be him, and refused to respond.
He waited till the very last person had boarded her flight. He waited until they began checking in the next flight. He waited until the plane had taken off. He thought that maybe, like in the movies, she would order the plane to turn around and would come running back to find him there, waiting. The crowds milled around him. People hugged one another in the ecstasy of reunion or in the sorrow of parting. He was jostled by those who had somewhere to go, someone to meet. The din of announcements barely pierced his consciousness.
He’d blown it. He had failed. In his sorry life of failure and misadventure, this was the worst of all. Mom was right. He should have convinced Cressa. He should have fought for her. Should have done everything. Cressa always said he retreated when others got too close. She’d been so good at not allowing him to do that.
He had no choice. Straight after his MCAT, he would have to go to New Zealand and get her back.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CRESSA HAD SPENT a long afternoon waiting in the silent Galveston house, wondering where on earth Adam could be. She smiled with relief, but she was shaking, too, when she heard the fumbling of keys, the surprised expletive when Adam discovered the door unlocked. What if it was too late? What if he’d learned to hate her? She’d learned to hate herself.
His quick footsteps sounded through the kitchen. She got up, running her hands down her jeans. This past half hour, she’d rehearsed over and over what to say. Adam burst into the room and stood absolutely still, his face white.
“You!” he said. “What the hell?”
All her carefully worded speeches fled from her mind. Which didn’t matter, because in three strides he had closed the distance between them and snatched her into an embrace that threatened to crack her ribs. His ruthless kisses robbed her lungs of breath and her knees of strength. She sagged into his arms and surrendered in head-spinning joy.
When they finally came up for air, Adam smoothed her hair from her face, as if seeing her face better reassured him that she was real.
“I’ve spent the whole damn afternoon at the airport.” The wonderment in his eyes belied the accusation in his voice.
“You have?” She felt weak with relief. Images of Adam hooking up with past girlfriends had filled her mind since the moment she’d returned to his house, only to find him AWOL. “I’ve been here waiting for you. Damn. If I’d known you were going to do the whole airport scene, I’d have gone there, instead. I feel so cheated! That would’ve been such a turn-on.”
“Seeing you is a turn-on.” He sat down, pulling her into his lap. “I can’t believe it. I thought you’d gone.”
She leaned against his chest. It felt so good. “I was wrong,” she said simply. “I got it wrong. I nearly walked out on the only thing that gives my life meaning—us.”
He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “It was my fault. I wasn’t honest. I should have told you from the start all I wanted was a lifetime with you.”
“Damn straight! You changed the rules on me.” Then she snuggled in closer, trying to infuse herself with his strength. “But I’m not complaining.”
He laughed. “So what the hell is all this, Cressa? Not that I’m complaining, either, but don’t you have a boat to catch?”
She shrugged. “I walked away from the perfect man. Now I’ve walked away from the perfect job. I phoned them yesterday. They were very understanding and have their choice of several hopefuls who’ve been hanging out on the dock every day. But tell me about Stella.”
“Sure you want to know?” He sounded suddenly solicitous.
“Of course I want to know. Got a photo?”
They had to untangle themselves so he could pull his phone out and show her two shots—one of Stella dwarfed by his helmet and perched on his bike. The other a close-up of her grinning cheekily.
“She’s gorgeous. Just look at the nose on her. Poor kid. Man, is she ever about to join the right family. My sisters will gobble her up. She’s one of us already.” Cressa clicked back to the one on the bike. “Action girl, too, I see.”
“I have it on her mother’s authority,” said Adam, “that she’s wild just like me.”
Cressa laughed. “I love her more and more.”
Adam took the phone back and gazed down at his daughter’s image. Reading his face was easy now. Paternal love and pride were written all over it. And still that sense of wonder that Stella had really entered his life again. Then he glanced up at Cressa. “Are you okay with this? Why the change of heart?”
She smiled self-consciously. “You want the truth? I had no choice. If I stayed away any longer, I’d have to book into a diet farm.”
He laughed. “I thought you felt a little different. Cuddly,” he added hastily. “It suits you.”
“Yeah?” She trailed her hands down his chest. “Well, feels like you’re in even better shape than when I left you.”
“No sex. All that energy has to go somewhere.”
“Mmm. Now, here’s a whole new dilemma. Do I withhold sexual favors to keep my man with the body of a warrior?”
“Sex burns up a lot of calories,” he countered.
“Then have you ever got your work cut out for you, starting right after your exam.”
“Don’t you worry,” he assured her, threading one hand into her hair and drawing her to him for another mind-numbing kiss. “I can manage both very well.”
They didn’t even make it to the bedroom. The carpet was perfect. Everything was just perfect.
AFTERWARD THEY LAY together under the light blanket Adam had fetched. “Why did you come back—really?”
“The question should be why did I run out. On the beach I suddenly felt I was facing the same situation I’d faced two years earlier—a ready-made family, expectations, a train ride into the future with the tracks already laid down.”
“Yeah, I figured that out, but by then it was too late.” Adam sounded rueful.
“It’s probably just as well. I needed to work things out for myself. It took some time, but when I finally sat down and analyzed the situation, I found that it was opposite in every single way.”
“Yeah? How so?”
She chuckled. “For a start, Adam, you are anything but perfect and our future is anything but clear. We’re going to be making it up as we go along, and who knows how it will turn out. I like that—the big unknown. The only thing I know for sure is that I love you. When I walked away from Brian, I was certain it was the right thing to do. When I left you, I couldn’t rid myself of the feeling that I’d just made the most terrible mistake of my life.”
“It was my fault for pushing you into a corner,” Ad
am said. “I dropped Stella on you without giving a thought about your baby.”
“Felix. His name was Felix.”
She could feel Adam smile into her hair. His voice was gentle. “That’s a nice name.”
“Yeah, Brian chose it. I’ve spoken to Brian. We spent a couple hours on the phone, talking and crying. My poor baby. I was so conflicted about him from the start. I thought I ought to marry because of him. Now I realize I had the choice all the time to be a solo mum. I just got caught up and confused. When he died, I felt it was all my fault, that I hadn’t wanted him enough, loved him enough. I couldn’t face thinking about it, so I pushed it all away.” She gave a watery laugh. “Alicia’s been great, too. We’ve talked lots about denial. It really helps to know how badly your mum screwed up and still came out right on the other end.”
Adam’s arm tightened. “So we can talk about Felix now? Are you okay about that?”
“I really am. Brian and I both accept what happened. Brian coped so much better with Felix’s nonlife than I did, and not being able to help me drove him crazy. It was the final part of the road we had to do together.”
“Brian’s one of the best.”
“I know. He and Des are doing well together. Finally I phoned Mum. I did a lot of talking and crying with her, too. I’d driven her wild with anxiety, as well. She said she’d phone your mum. They’ve become the best of friends.”
“That’s great. Mom needs good friends in New Zealand.”
“Enough of me. How are the studies going?”
He shrugged. “I think I’ve got it under control.”
She knew all about his control. “That’s fine, then.” Her head was resting on his chest, where it belonged.
He sounded almost shy as he continued. “Once the exam is over, I thought I might contact Adahy. I found him on the internet. He’s still traveling, doing minor performances. Shouldn’t be too hard to track him down.”
Surprise and delight propelled her upright to look at him. “Oh, Adam! That’s fantastic. What made you decide to do that?”
“Finding Stella. All these years I’ve wanted so much to be a part of her life. Who knows, maybe Adahy might be pleased to find he’s got a son and a granddaughter. Maybe I’ve got a whole other family out there that Stella also belongs to.”
Cressa cupped his jaw and smiled. “Stella’s going to be rich in families. We’ll make sure of that.” She turned his face slightly so she could look straight at him. “Was there another reason?”
His sinfully thick lashes began to sink to shutter his eyes, but she tightened her grip. “Don’t you try that evasive trick on me! Go on, say it.”
“Yeah,” he said reluctantly. “I admit I’m a bit curious about him, too.”
She laughed and gave his chin a teasing tug. “There, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Give me ten years and I’ll have you chatting about your feelings as easily as a girl.”
His hand shot up to capture her wrist and he flipped her onto her back, where he proceeded to kiss her thoroughly. She realized that after such a difficult confession, he needed to reestablish his alpha male dominance, so she let him. Okay, also because she enjoyed it.
When they finally came up for air, he still had her wrists pinned to the carpet. “And what happens after ten years?”
His eyes drilled into hers. She writhed, but his weight held her down. She widened her eyes in mock bewilderment. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. Go on, say it.”
“Oh, very well,” she conceded. “After ten years, there’ll be another ten years.” He released her wrists to begin tickling her and she shrieked in laughter. “And another ten, then another and another, forever. Stop! Oh, stop!”
Adam stopped, a satisfied grin on his face. “That’s better.” He lay back down, gathering her to him. Now he was serious.
“You know Cressa, this is going to be a long road. The MCAT is just the beginning. If I do get into medical school, we’ll be poor for a very long time. I won’t even have a home for you—let alone a vineyard and a yacht.”
“I didn’t want them then. I don’t want them now. I just want to be with you. However, when I spoke to Alicia, she suggested we might like her trailer home. She’s planning to stay in New Zealand for the time being.”
Adam made a face. “It’s not the most romantic start to a relationship.”
“It’s been a good place for me. It’ll be a great place for us, you’ll see. As for money to live on—” she smiled “—I’m going to be an accountant and support you.”
“No!” He sat up so suddenly that her head bumped the floor. “Cressa, this won’t work if it begins with compromises and sacrifices.”
She pulled herself up so she was sitting next to him, leaning against the sofa. “It’s not a sacrifice. I’ve learned a few things since coming to the States, and one of them is that I like making businesses run. I get huge satisfaction balancing Mike and Tim’s accounts. Go figure, huh! I still don’t want to do big company stuff, so I’m going to stay my own boss and work with small businesses. After all, that’s what I liked best in all my different jobs—improving the systems, making them run better.”
He laughed, putting an arm around her and holding her safe against him. “What about the need for adventures, new experiences?”
“That’s where you come in. I realized that your SUV full of camping equipment and kids—starting with Stella, of course—would include ropes for rappelling, flashlights for caving, snorkels and fins.”
“The SUV can also tow a boat, and on the racks we’ll have skis—in the far distant future.”
The image pleased her. “Yeah. I also know that your backyard will have trampolines and a big climbing frame.”
“Stella already climbs like a monkey.”
“Excellent. The other kids will, too.”
“Others? Are you sure?”
“I think so. Not for a few years, though.”
“No rush. We have all the years in the world. For the first time since we met, we’re not up against the clock.” He was suddenly serious. “So is this it, Cressa? We’re talking love here—commitment, wedding, kids—the whole package. Are you truly up for it?”
She turned so she could look right into that dark, beautiful face. “Yup,” she said. “I truly am. Family’s always been the core of my existence. I know that now. Besides, if I want to stay in the States with you, we’ll have to marry. The rest—kids, family home, careers—will come in good time.” She leaned up and kissed him. “I’ve discovered my fantasies have changed, and all of them now contain you, so yes, I want it all. With you, I want it all. With one proviso…”
“You’ve already got my heart and soul and my undying love. What else is there?”
“I want the damn picket fence, too.”
Adam gave a shout of laughter and gathered her into another bone-crushing embrace. “You shall have the home, the career, the kids and yes, even the damn picket fence. But I have a proviso, as well.”
“And what’s that, my fine Cherokee?”
“I can satisfy my wicked desire for you whenever and wherever I want.”
“Ha!” she said. “That applies for both of us.”
“Agreed!”
“Wow, that was easy.”
“That’s because I’m easy. And so, my fair Valkyrie,” he said, looking dangerous and adorable as only Adam could, “I’m choosing right here, right now.”
With a growl he pounced on her, and she shrieked with laughter and put up a bit of a fight—as a Valkyrie should, just to let the warrior know he wasn’t going to get everything his own way. She was soon defeated, however, by their mutual laughter, desire and love—yes, love! Unbelievable to think he’d once doubted its existence. And as she surrendered, Cressa discovered the fantasies hadn’t completely disappeared, after all; in fact, the dream was just beginning. And that, she thought, was more than enough for any Valkyrie.
ISBN: 978-1-4592-0616-8
A RISK WOR
TH TAKING
Copyright © 2011 by Susan Zana Bell
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