“Oh man, had me worried,” Jacob said. “He would never do anything like that. Hell, she finally turned to talk to him yesterday and Marty took off running.”
“What the hell did Buffy say?” Bruce asked getting worried.
Smiling, “Nothing really, she just asked him if he wanted to play Call of Duty with them the next time they played,” Jacob said. “Other than some dance, that’s the first time she’s talked to him and it unnerved Marty to say the least. He panicked and ran.” Angela’s body gave a jerk as she snorted and put a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh out loud.
Stephanie smiled, “Buffy can be quite intimidating.”
Nodding, “So as long as he’s a good boy, Marty has nothing to worry about?” Jacob asked.
“Yeah,” Bruce said tapping Angela to make her stop snorting. “He’s on her team, so she won’t hurt him unless he tries something.”
Shaking his head as he drained his glass, “That’s why Marty’s on the team. Shit, that boy’s begged and pleaded with anyone to teach him how to fight. I think Jake felt sorry for him,” Jacob said as Stephanie refilled his glass and Bruce’s.
Behind them, “NOW, TED!” they heard shouted. Turning, they saw Ted and Carl dive off the picnic table, tackling a member of Omega on the ground. They took the man down face first, wrapping their legs around his and locking his arms back.
“Come on, Buffy! Do it!” Ted shouted and a grinning Buffy hobbled over very well feeling no pain. Diving on the pinned man’s back, she wrapped an arm around his neck and cranked. “Harder, Buffy. He’s tensing his throat!” Ted shouted.
Straining with everything she could muster, “That’s it, Buffy!” Carl shouted, seeing the man’s eyes start to flutter. “He’s out!” Carl shouted letting him go. Buffy let go and stood up on the unconscious man’s back, raising her arms in triumph.
“I did it!” she cried with joy and stumbled. Ted caught her and helped her steady herself. Somewhat steady, she held out her hand, getting high fives from Ted and Carl as the rest of the kids came over.
“Alright, Buffy!” Nancy yelled and ran over.
Jake and Danny raised her up as Buffy received high fives from the others. “Jacob,” Bruce said shaking his head. “You sure Marty can’t find someone else to be infatuated with?”
“Nope,” Jacob said draining his glass. “He said two members of Omega told him if he was mean to Buffy they would chop his tally whacker off and make him eat it. If that doesn’t scare a boy off, nothing will.”
Stephanie slapped Bruce’s chest, “I thought Gene was going to talk with them?”
“He did,” Bruce said draining his glass. “Jacob,” Bruce said closing his eyes, “the women in my family are insane, that includes the ones in my lap, I fear for my life at all times.”
Angela and Stephanie slapped his chest. “Well, I need to tell that boy of mine he’d better start training hard then,” Jacob said standing up. “He has a long way to go to get to the level of any of the males in your family.”
Stephanie looked up at Jacob, “Wise advice,” she smiled. “We have to be really mean to Bruce before he starts crying, so make Marty really train hard.”
“I will,” Jacob said then walked away.
Mike shook his head, “Not just your family,” he said.
“You really think we’re insane?” Stephanie asked with a serious face.
Bruce looked at her then at Angela, “Shit, you’re with me, in this family, you’re crazy as a shit house rat,” he declared.
A grin split Stephanie’s face, “Damn right, we’re insane.”
“You can cow me down, for fucks sake,” Bruce said.
“Don’t forget it,” Angela said, kissing one cheek as Stephanie kissed the other.
“Wood run! Wood run! Wood run!” chant started on the other side of the pool.
“Oh shit,” Angela said turning. “Bruce, tell Buffy she can’t go.”
“Be damned if I tell her no,” he said. “She’s fought, killed, trained, and done what I’ve seen grown men shy away from. She’s mature enough to make her own decisions.”
They looked at him in shock as Nancy came running over and grabbed Mike, “We can win! Let’s go!” she said grabbing a shot.
“No,” Mike said pulling her into his lap. “Our kids are heading into the shop. I know they’re married but, no.”
“Go tell them to go to bed,” Nancy whined.
The expression left Mike’s face as a Tarzan yell sounded over the area. “I hope you’re kidding.”
Giving a big sigh, Nancy did another shot. “Spoil sport,” she said spitting out the lemon. “Well, will you at least dance some more with me?” she asked, grabbing his crotch.
“Umph,” Mike groaned. “Yeah,” he grunted dryly.
As Nancy led him away, “This is the best family ever,” Angela chuckled.
They got up so Bruce could get another bottle. Seeing him stagger, one got under each arm, leading him to the bar. Bruce made a line of kamikazes and grabbed the first one, draining it. “I know he’s not,” he heard Angela say and turned, seeing her looking up high behind him.
Spinning around and almost falling, Bruce saw Conner climbing out on a limb and stand up. He sprang from the limb and caught the limb of another oak tree, pulling himself up. Then a smaller form scampered out and jumped, following Conner.
“I haven’t drank enough,” Bruce announced, draining another glass. “My first thought wasn’t, ‘that was cool’,” he said, grabbing another glass. “My first thought was, ‘they could get hurt’.”
“I don’t think I could drink enough to think that,” Stephanie said as she watched both scamper up the tree, as another Tarzan yodel sounded over the area.
“Grown-ups are weird,” Buffy said and they looked down to see her stumbling toward them. Angela and Stephanie ran over and steadied her as she walked to the bar. Seeing the line of glasses, Buffy grabbed one and drained it. “Hey, that wasn’t bad,” she said smacking her lips.
“How many have you had?” Angela asked.
“Why does everyone ask that?” Buffy said with a huff. “I can’t feel my toes and people want me to count?” she said and looked at Stephanie, “I’m not doing push-ups because I can’t count now. I’ll run away.”
Stephanie laughed and hugged her, “It’s okay, baby, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Sandy is a freak,” Buffy said with her face buried in Stephanie’s chest.
“What?” Stephanie said jerking back.
Grabbing another glass, “After everyone put up something for the wood run and they said go…she started growling, circling Gene like a tiger. She jumped on him and knocked him to the ground, yelling as she tore his clothes off like she was a blue,” Buffy said, then drained the glass. “I don’t know what -copulate like swine in moisture supplemented soil- means, but I didn’t want to find out.”
The three looked over at the dance area and didn’t see Gene and Sandy. “Buffy, they’re in the shop for the wood run?” Angela asked.
“Yep.”
Draining a glass, Bruce picked Buffy up, “Come on you two. Let’s dance,” he grinned.
“Ah, no,” Angela said and Stephanie agreed with a nervous nod.
“You either come with or go swimming and then get dragged over,” he offered. They chuckled and wrapped their arms around his waist as he carried Buffy.
“Hey, I can’t dance. Put me down, damn it!” she said hitting his back.
“You couldn’t play softball also, but you learned,” Bruce said. “If you don’t try, I’ll lock the doors of the RG next time and fart you out.”
“Oh man, not that again,” Buffy moaned. “I think something crawled up your ass and died,” she shouted.
Stephanie and Angela laughed as Stephanie said, “We will agree with you on that, Buffy.”
Moving to the other side of the pool, they joined a really large crowd dancing. The three danced, or tried to, as Bruce attempted to instruct as he kept dr
inking, with Buffy taking a glass every once and a while. It was dark as Bruce was holding Buffy in his arms, slow dancing with all three. Seeing Buffy’s eyes getting heavy, he pushed her head on his shoulder and soon heard snoring.
“She doesn’t count,” he said stopping. “No painting.”
Stephanie gave him a look like he was an idiot, “Like we would,” she said waving her hands.
Carrying Buffy to her room, Bruce came back out and continued the party, joining the mass of people dancing and throwing his shirt off. “Took long enough,” Stephanie said dancing beside Angela.
“I know he’s drank two whole bottles already, I didn’t think it would take this long,” Angela said.
“More drinks!” Millie shouted from the bar and the crowd cheered.
Bruce spun around pulling down his pants, “Millie, look!” he shouted. “Helicopter, helicopter!” he shouted wiggling his waist. Millie let out a yelp and took off running as Angela and Stephanie hit the ground laughing.
Jumping out of his pants, Bruce chased Millie shouting ‘helicopter!’. Angela jumped up, “Come on, we have to see who he gets!” she shouted pulling Stephanie up.
“This is great,” Stephanie said as they broke into a run, following the ‘helicopter’.
Chapter 6
Sitting in his chair in the Center and feeling surprisingly well, Bruce sipped his coffee as Millie came over, carrying his plate. “You can run pretty fast,” he grinned.
“I surprised you be up this early,” she smiled. “You should feel bad about chasin’ that guard into the catfish pond.”
“Well, you locked yourself in the barn, I had to find a new target,” Bruce shrugged.
Millie busted out laughing, “Where the women folk? I knowed they didn’t drink cause I was watchin’ and had my spoon.”
Grinning, “Sleeping. They lost a bet,” he said grabbing his fork.
Reaching out and touching his face, “You not feelin’ poorly?” she asked shocked.
“Feel great,” Bruce said shoveling a mouthful in.
Hearing his rugrats, Bruce looked up to see Carroll and Marcus come in with PJ, Cade, little Debbie, Nathan, and the twins. “Shit, didn’t know you had more,” Bruce said getting up to give the kids some love.
“We went and got the young’uns from Steve and Tonya,” Carroll said, hugging Bruce with the baby in her arms. “They needed to get an have some fun.”
“Want me to take her?” Bruce asked holding out his arms and Carroll shooed him away.
Bruce sat the kids down with Marcus’s help, “She ain’t let me hold the baby yet,” Marcus grumbled.
“You be quiet, Marcus,” Carroll said sitting down and Millie handed her a bottle and a bowl of rice cereal for little Debbie. “You sit up almost till the rooster crowed watchin’ cartoons with them babies. I told ya they needed sleep.”
“You was laughin’ right along with us, so I guess you was awake too,” he said sitting down beside her.
“How could I sleep with you and the kids cackling up a storm all night,” Carroll said feeding little Debbie. The door opened and Bruce saw Angela and Stephanie with Buffy. Looking a little pale, Buffy just hobbled to her chair and laid her head down on the table.
“What you two’s movin slow for?” Carroll asked as Stephanie and Angela hugged the kids.
“Nothing,” Angela said sitting down with a huff.
Shaking her head as she sat down, “You made the bet, so quit acting like a bitch,” Stephanie said. Angela looked at her with a scowl but didn’t say anything as more of the command group came in, sitting down.
Bruce chuckled, looking at Mike, “Feeling a little under the weather, brother?” Bruce asked as he watched Carl and his girlfriend Monica sit down, looking peaked.
“Drop it or I’ll cut your heart out with my butter knife,” Mike growled and Nancy laid her head on the table. “A man can’t even pass out in his own bed without a tornado banging around in the next room.”
Angela and Stephanie turned beet red, dropping their heads on the table as the door opened. Bruce chuckled, seeing Gene walk in very slow with his legs wide apart. Breathing through pursed lips in sharp huffs with each step, Gene moved very sluggishly toward the table.
“Trouble, Gene?” Bruce snickered. Shaking his head, Gene kept his breathing the same as he walked bowlegged toward the table.
Leaning over the table, Carl grinned, “Sandy put the hurt on him,” he said. “At one point, Gene tried to crawl away and she grabbed his ankles, pulling him back and flipped him back over.”
The table filled with stifled chuckles as more of the command group came in. When everyone sat down Bruce didn’t see Ted, but Melanie, his girlfriend was there. Looking over, he didn’t see Danny or Matt. “Do I need to send out search parties?” he asked.
Melanie shook her head, “No, Tarzan and Jane just climbed down and the others are cleaning the shop,” she said.
“Huh?” Bruce asked.
Chuckling, “The first five couples out of the wood run had to clean up,” Carl said.
Closing his eyes Bruce shook his head and then looked at Melanie. “Hey, don’t look at me,” she snapped. “He lost, I didn’t.” Hearing shouting outside, Bruce looked up at the door. “Danny is pissed at Matt big time, I heard she was competitive, but holy shit,” Melanie said.
“Hey, I’m her Dad here. Don’t want to hear,” Bruce said.
“I mean it, Matt!” Danny yelled walking in and slamming the door, storming over to the table. She stopped and looked at Jake and Mary as they grinned at her, “Say anything and I’ll hit both of you,” she growled.
As Danny dropped into her seat Jake leaned over, “Problem?” he asked as Danny balled up her fist.
“Ew, ah, eh,” they heard and turned to see Gene slowly trying to sit down, breathing like he was in labor.
“I had to teach Sandy how to put on make-up,” Danny said looking at Gene who barely nodded as he huffed and puffed and gently sat down.
“Sandy’s never worn make-up,” Stephanie said, trying not to laugh at Gene.
“Yeah, I figured that out when I saw her,” Danny popped off as Matt walked in and sat down beside Danny, who never looked over at him. “She put it on with a spatula.”
“Where did you see her?” Angela said with a snort as Gene sighed, finally resting in the seat.
“In the shop,” Danny said and motioned to Gene. “She was still riding him like a cheap bike. I told them they’d won like three hours ago, so quit rubbing it in.”
“Hello, I’m here,” Bruce snapped.
“Shut it, Dad,” Danny shouted. “I’m not in the mood, we will fight today.”
Raising his eyebrows Bruce listened to the nice side of his brain and looked at Gene. “Look a little worn there, buddy,” he grinned.
Gene looked off in space, “I’m,” he grunted as he shifted his butt in the chair, “in love,” he huffed.
Carl laughed, “I’ve heard of talking dirty but man, that woman puts a whole new meaning on it with words you have to look up.”
Squinting his face Bruce stifled a laugh, “Heard you tried to escape but she caught ya,” he said.
Nodding with wide eyes, “Three times,” Gene mumbled. “She finally gave me a short break when I begged, crying like a little girl.”
Everyone at the table fought not to laugh as the last of the group came in, with Sandy running over to Gene. “See? Told you he would make it here,” Ted said sitting down beside Melanie. “Had to find a ladder for Tarzan and Jane,” Ted said nodding to Conner and Susan. They both just smiled and looked down at their plates.
“Baby, you need plenty of rest today, in case they have another contest of fortitude,” Sandy said sitting down beside Gene. “I put the procurements we won in your room.” He looked over at her with a strained grin and nodded.
“Shit, like anyone would even enter if you two showed up,” Ted said grabbing his mug of coffee. “It’s real hard keeping your concentration when someone’s
yelling stuff you know is English, but have no idea what it means.”
Melanie just sighed and rolled her eyes, “Yeah, make up an excuse.”
“What?” he huffed. “Sandy’s crying out stuff like ‘chastise one comparable to an equestrian’ and ‘agglutinate with me on this excursion to galvanize your adamantine’. I don’t even know where to begin to find out what the fuck that means, but you can’t get your freak on hearing stuff like that.”
Shock hit Sandy’s face, “But we have big balls, we’re cool,” she said and Angela slid out of her chair landing under the table, hitting the floor and laughing.
“Baby, he’s just jealous,” Gene grunted as he looked over at her and patted her hand. “He lost his balls.”
Looking at Gene, she smiled at him with doe eyes and then turned to Ted, “You need to find them, so you can be cool again,” Sandy told him and Bruce spit out his food.
“Damn right, he does,” Melanie said and Carl slapped the table, shoving his chair back jumping up and running to the bathroom.
“Pussy boy,” Carl called out before running in the bathroom.
“Are you going to help him locate his balls?” Sandy asked Melanie.
Shaking her head and glancing at Ted, “He lost them, he can find them,” Melanie said, stabbing her food with her fork viciously.
“Damn it Melanie, when Sandy started talking about making a splint for Gene, I knew we were fucked!” Ted shouted throwing down his fork, and several people changed colors trying not to laugh. Matt’s face went pale.
“That was just a psych job to freak you out! We go straight for six hours and you just stand up and go, ‘We’re done’!” Melanie shouted. “You know how sore I am and we didn’t win!”
“Psych job, my ass. Gene started crying when Sandy started pointing stuff out she could use for a splint, telling him the structural integrity, quality, atomic mass, and composition of each item!”
Angela jumped up off the floor, “I peed my pants,” she said with a red face and darted for the front door, busting out laughing as she ran outside.
Blue Plague (Book 7): Hope Page 7