by Rita Herron
Too late for that, Jenna thought, her heart breaking as she realized that no matter how unselfishly she'd given herself to Zack, deep down inside, she'd hoped her love could change him, that she could convince him that the two of them could make a relationship work.
But obviously her love hadn't been enough.
"You know Colleen wants you to meet Blair," Mark said, cutting into the haze of pain surrounding her. "He's a pediatrician, has his own practice."
Mark's last words jarred Jenna back to reality.
"He's stable. Settled down. Colleen even said he works with disabled kids."
Jenna stroked her hair down over her ear absent-mindedly, conscious of Mark's underlying meaning as he regaled her with Blair's assets. She and Zack had never discussed anything serious, much less marriage or a family. There could possibly be problems with a child of her own.
If Zack couldn't commit to her, what would happen if they had a child with a disability?
Old memories surfaced—her parents and how they'd tried to shelter her, her big brother and the way he'd protected her, the schoolchildren who'd made fun of her. Oh, yeah, there could be problems.
Zack hadn't even had the guts to be honest and confess about the sketches and the mix-up with his client. She'd been living in a dream world for the past few days. Had completely forgotten reality. Had allowed her own love for him to make her believe in fantasies.
Her throat thick, she stood, forcing a smile to her lips that was painful in its falseness.
"And Blair likes to ski—"
"Thanks, Mark. Tell Colleen to give me a call." Then she turned and left his office with her shoulders squared. She had survived disappointment and rejection as a child; she would survive now.
It was back to the dating game.
A half hour later she pulled into her apartment complex, her shoulders heavy as if the world had just been dumped on her. Weary, she hauled herself up to her apartment, then checked her mail.
Bills, bills and more bills. Then a letter, Hmm. She sniffed it, and detected the faint scent of a masculine cologne on the letterhead. Suddenly curious, she ripped open the envelope and unfolded the single sheet of paper.
"Join me for a romantic evening on Saturday. Steak, dancing, moonlight... we'll make our own fireworks. Zack."
A stiff breeze picked up, storm clouds rumbling above. Jenna clutched the invitation to her aching chest and hurried inside.
Did Zack really want to romance her or was he simply using the date as a ploy to soften the blow about the sketches—if or when he finally decided to tell her?
Chapter 10
It had been three days since Jenna had talked to Zack. Three long days of wondering and waiting and imagining the worst.
She struggled to eat an unappetizing, overcooked TV dinner and stared at the invitation for Saturday night. It was a constant reminder of Zack's intent to continue their affair.
Affair. Nothing more.
Her appetite vanished, and she tossed her uneaten dinner into the trash and picked up the phone. To hell with waiting. She'd simply call him. She could always use the excuse that he still owed her the final copy for her ads.
A woman answered. "Spruill Offices."
Jenna frowned, wondering if she'd dialed the wrong number. "I'm calling for Zachary West, West Advertising."
"Oh, yes," the woman drawled. "He's busy now, are you one of his clients?"
"Yes," Jenna said. "I own the Love 'N Lace."
"Oh, that lingerie shop! I love that place," the young woman tittered. "I bought some things for a trip to the Bahamas there a few weeks ago."
"I hope you were pleased with the merchandise," Jenna said.
"Actually, my boyfriend was very pleased."
Jenna laughed. "That's great. Please visit us again. We have our Christmas merchandise in now."
"I can't wait," the girl said. "I want to stock up for the holidays."
"Good idea. Is Mr. West there?"
"I believe he's in a meeting," the girl said. "He's been really busy the past few days with some new campaign he's working on, so busy he's refused to take calls. He's launching it on Saturday."
The same day as their date. Was he planning to ask her to move in with him then? And would he pop the question before or after he admitted he'd shown nude sketches of her to his client?
The receptionist paused. "This is business, isn't it, nothing personal?"
Jenna's fingers tightened around the handset of the phone. "Yes, it's business."
"Whew. That's a relief, I thought maybe you were my competition."
"Excuse me?"
The woman lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Well, my boyfriend and I broke up and I've been trying to get Mr. West to notice me. He is the cutest, don't you think? I mean all the admin assistants around this place just love him."
Jenna swallowed. "I bet they do."
"Maybe I could come back to your shop and you can help me choose something he'd like?"
Of course she could. But she did not want another woman wearing her merchandise to seduce Zack! "We'll see," Jenna said, biting out the words.
"Perfect. You want me to leave him a message? What did you say your name was?"
Irritation spiked Jenna's blood. "No thanks, no message."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'll call him back when he isn't so busy." Like when hell freezes over.
She disconnected the call with a sigh. What a fool she'd been.
He'd probably been flirting with this woman and the others at the office while she'd been pining over him.
* * *
Zack rubbed a hand along his aching neck muscles, rolling his shoulders to work out the kinks in his arms. He was stiff and sore from spending so much time at the office, but he finished the last sketch and smiled, finally content he'd come up with a way to win Washburn's account—and save his relationship with Jenna.
And the best part—she'd never have to know about the goof-up with the sketches.
He noticed a stack of pink message slips on his desk, and flipped through them. Damn. Half of them were from Mark. He threw them in the trash.
He didn't intend to call his brother and receive another morality lecture about Jenna. He was taking charge of his own life and it felt damn good.
He'd struggled for two days with the detergent account, then remembered the way Plum had boasted about his grandchildren. Washburn had grandchildren as well. After a little research and footwork, he'd used them as models to draw a new ad—the kids in a bubblebath while their grimy clothes washed in the machine.With the right sales technique, he thought Washburn would buy it. It did have a widespread homespun feel, perfect for the audience Washburn needed to target.
As far as Jenna, he was in love with the woman.
And once he wrapped up this account, he planned to tell her. The heart palpitations, nausea, fear of commitment—maybe if he explained his physical reactions, she could help him overcome them. Maybe she'd even be willing to take things slowly, to live together and ease into a commitment one step at a time.
Knowing he had a meeting with Washburn, he stuffed the messages in his briefcase and rushed out the door, surprised that his heart palpitations were only mild and his hands were barely trembling. If things went well at his meeting, he might even surprise Jenna and see her tonight instead of waiting for their date on Saturday.
Then he'd encourage her to drop that husband hunting class and they could share another fantasy night. Tonight and every night thereafter.
Yes, he was proud of himself, he was making progress in dealing with this marriage phobia—he made it all the way to the car before the nausea started churning in his stomach.
* * *
Jenna flopped onto her bed with her cell phone, dressed in sweats as she tried to dodge personal questions about her lovelife—or the non-existence of one from Colleen.
"Come on, Jen," Colleen said in a sympathetic voice. "Mark told me about what happened with Zack.
I'm so sorry. Mark never should have suggested Zack revamp your ad."
"No, he did a great job," Jenna said.
"But he couldn't keep his zipper—"
"It wasn't his fault, Colleen," Jenna cut in. "And could we please not discuss Zack."
Colleen made a clucking sound. "All right, all right. The big womanizing coward—"
"Colleen!"
"Sorry." Colleen sighed. "Anyway, Jen, I'm not letting you sit around and mope on Friday night by yourself. You're coming to dinner over here."
"I can't," Jenna lied.
"You have a date?"
"Not exactly."
"Then you're coming."
"But Mark will be home, Colleen, and I'll feel like a third wheel." Maybe she'd call Casey.
But that would be the same thing; her horning in on Casey and Gabe and Henry S. She checked the calendar.
No, Casey wasn't back yet. Gabe's father had kept Henry S. while the happy newlyweds honeymooned, and they were going to stop by and stay with him a couple of days on their way home.
"That's ridiculous," Colleen said. "The three of us have spent dozens of Friday nights together."
"Thanks for reminding me," Jenna said sarcastically.
"I didn't mean it like that. But we always have fun together," Colleen added. "Please come, Jen."
"I don't know."
"We'll rent a video or play cards or something."
It would, take her mind off Zack. "But don't you want a night alone with your husband?"
"We'll have all night after you leave," Colleen said with a contented sigh. "That's another perk of being married."
I wouldn't know.
"Now promise me you'll come," Colleen pleaded. "I'm making lasagna and that chocolate double-layer fudge delight you like so much."
Jenna's mouth watered.
"I'll send Mark to pick you up if you don't show."
Jenna exhaled in defeat. "Okay, see you tonight." She glanced at her frumpy clothes as she hung up, then went in search of something to wear. She might feel like a wallflower, but she didn't have to look like one.
She squared her shoulders; she refused to sit around and feel sorry for herself. She hadn't done it as a child, and she would not allow some womanizing bastard who'd broken her heart to reduce her to self-pity. She'd have fun with her friends tonight.
Even if it killed her.
* * *
Zack jiggled his leg beneath the table as he waited on Washburn's verdict.
"Mr. West, I didn't think you could outdo yourself the first time, but I believe you did." Washburn shook Zack's hand emphatically and stood, dropping his spaghetti stained napkin on the dinner table.
Zack pumped the man's hand, relief filling him. "Good. The ads featuring the kids should have more widespread appeal to your target audience."
Washburn patted his ample stomach. "You're right. And the family will be excited. My wife's been bugging me for years to somehow include the children in the business." He scratched a patch of graying hair. "But I did like the face on that woman. Shame we can't do something with her."
"She does have a beautiful face," Zack said with a smile. And a great body and a great mind. "But I'm afraid she's going to be too busy to pose for commercials."
"What's she into—movies?"
Zack arched a brow as another fantasy came to mind, maybe a video of the two of them together.
But Washburn was still waiting for his reply so he tamped down his thoughts, then shook his head. "No, sir. She's going to be my w... wi... woman."
Dammit, the room swayed as he said it.
* * *
Jenna forced a polite smile at the other dinner guest Colleen had invited—the man she hadn't known would be there—Colleen's friend, Blair Murphy.
Blair shook her hand, and Jenna made a mental note to drag her friend aside later and yank out every strand of her long brown hair. Colleen had definitely conned her.
Thank God she hadn't worn her sweats. But she still felt underdressed next to this man in his designer polo shirt and dress slacks. Granted her jeans fit and the sweater hugged her curves, but—oh, what did it matter? She wasn't trying to impress the guy.
Was she?
If Zack doesn't want marriage, you might as well give this man a shot.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jenna," Blair said with a smile of male approval.
Blair's reaction normally would have warmed her to her toes, but for some odd reason, her stomach fluttered guiltily as if she was being unfaithful to Zack. A ridiculous notion. Had she lost her mind?
Yes. She didn't owe Zack West anything.
"Colleen's told me so much about you, I feel like I know you."
"She's mentioned you several times also," Jenna said.
And I wish I'd met you before I met Zack, or took that silly husband hunting class.
Because truth be told – Blair was actually handsome. Polite. He worked with children. He seemed normal. And available.
At least so far.
"Just sit in the den and make yourselves at home while I finish dinner," Colleen suggested.
Panic tapped at Jenna's nerves. "I'll help."
"No, you two get to know each other." Colleen waved them toward the cozy seating arrangement where firelight flickered romantically in the dimly lit room. Hors d'oeuvres were situated on a silver tray on the coffee table and jasmine scented candles filled the air with a heady fragrance. Jenna swallowed nervously. She'd definitely been set up.
"How about some wine?" Mark asked, handing them both glasses filled with Chablis.
"Thanks," Jenna and Blair said at once.
"I'm glad both of you had a free night for a change," Mark said, his grin sheepish.
"So am I," Blair said agreeably, although the sympathetic look he gave her indicated he realized she'd been tricked into coming. He probably had, too.
"Yes, this is nice." She gave Blair a pointed look. "And a surprise."
Blair chuckled, smoothing over the awkward moment, then Colleen grabbed Mark's arm. "Come on, honey, I need your help with the salad."
"But I thought you bought that kind in a bag—"
"It still needs tossing." Colleen yanked her cohort in crime with her into the kitchen.
Jenna's protests not to be left alone with Blair died on her lips as the kitchen door swung shut. When she glanced up, Blair was watching her, amusement evident on his face. He swirled his wine glass around, then took a sip of the pale liquid, his blue eyes dancing with mischief.
"Uh, I take it you didn't know I was going to be here?"
Jenna bit her lip. "No. You—"
He shook his head, jamming one hand into the pockets of his pleated gray pants. "I can leave if you'd feel more comfortable."
"Don't be silly." Jenna sank onto the overstuffed plaid sofa. "We were both ambushed but now we're here, we might as well enjoy ourselves." She sipped her wine, silently assessing him. He had close-clipped, dark brown hair, light blue eyes, and a dimple in his left cheek. He was a little shorter than Zack and not quite as broad-shouldered, but he was muscular and in good shape.
"Is something wrong? Do I have mud on my face or a cotton ball in my hair?"
"What?" Jenna frowned.
"You were looking at me like I had three heads. "
Jenna flushed. "No, I'm sorry. It's just... you're... even nicer looking than Colleen said you were. "
"Hmm, I'm pleasantly surprised as well." He claimed the seat beside her. "I don't know what else they told you about me, but I'm harmless. I'm a pediatrician."
Jenna curled her fingers around her glass, relaxing. "That's right, Colleen did mention you were a doctor. Is your practice close by?"
"About five miles from here. I share an office with two other pediatricians."
"Where did you go to school?" Jenna asked.
"North Carolina."
"Really? That's where I'm from." They spent the next few minutes discussing the rivalry between NCS and UNC and why they'd both moved
to Georgia.
"An intern I met at the children's hospital here invited me to join his practice," Blair said.
"What made you decide to go into pediatrics?" Jenna asked.
He stretched out his long legs. "I guess it goes without saying that I like kids. Always have. But when I was an intern, this little boy was rushed into the ER. He was scared to death, had been hit by a car. Saving his life really touched me. That's when I decided I wanted to work with children." He shrugged, his face flushing with embarrassment.
"That's admirable," Jenna said, moved by his sincerity. "I underwent several surgeries when I was small. A understanding doctor or nurse can make a world of difference to a frightened child."
Blair's gaze caught hers for a minute and he nodded, then described a case that had come in that morning. Jenna sipped her wine and looked up at him expectantly, waiting for some spark of attraction to ignite within her. Some sexual awareness to surface. Some lustful primitive urge to tempt her.
She even tried picturing him in her shop, among all her erotic lingerie, but lackluster feelings ebbed through her veins, and not a single tingle rippled through her.
Instead, Zack's sexy face kept popping into her mind.
Zack as he kissed her. Zack as he made love to her.
Zack wearing that darned glow-in-the-dark Bee-Stinger.
* * *
Zack veered into Mark's driveway and killed the engine, surprised to see Jenna's car. He'd driven by her apartment, but she hadn't been home, so he'd decided to stop by and personally assure Mark and Colleen that he had nothing but honorable intentions toward Jenna.
Still, the thought of marriage, commitment, forever... made images of nooses and death chambers flash behind his eyes.
A heat wave washed over him, and he swiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and hoped Jenna would agree to give him time. Surely one day he could come to terms with a permanent relationship.
Maybe they'd start out slow: steady dating, move in together, then one day when he could say marriage without nausea climbing to his throat, they'd pick out a ring.
Then he'd get on his knees and propose.
Why the hell did men have to get down on one knee anyway?