Boys at school wanted to date me, but I refused each time someone asked me out. Most of them were football players and I know they only wanted one thing. They wanted in my pants and I wasn’t close to being ready for sex. I didn’t want to waste my first time with a boy who didn’t know what the hell he’s doing. No, I want something special for my first everything.
I was called all sorts of names and told I was stuck up on a daily basis. No one could figure out how I was a cheerleader but didn’t go out with the jocks of the school. The only time I was around them at all was when there was a game or practice. Some days we’d practice at the practice field so the rest of the girls could flirt and be surrounded by the sweaty players. No thank you.
By the time I started my junior year, I was volunteering at a community center. I’d go to school, finish practice, and then go help other girls and boys before they headed home for the night. Some days I’d help kids with their homework or we’d play various games. Other days, I’d help them pick out new clothes and food from the pantry at the community center. Several kids there had nowhere else safe to go for a few hours a day and I enjoyed spending my time with them.
The community center is where wanting to be a social worker became firmly cemented in my mind. After witnessing kids being ripped from the center by parents or other guardians, I knew I had to help others. There’s nothing I can do about these situations now, but when I get my degree I’ll be able to go in and make a difference.
My entire world came crashing down three months before my eighteenth birthday. When my dad got home from work, he told us we were going out to celebrate my early acceptance into college. I chose a small diner for us to go to. It’s one of my favorites and I wanted to have a bacon cheeseburger with fries and their homemade gravy to dip them in. Plus, they had the best milkshakes because their ice cream is made at the diner.
Dinner was amazing. We laughed and talked throughout our meal. I told my parents how excited I was to start college and what I planned to accomplish while away from home. My mom told me she wanted me to go out, accept dates, make friends, and go to parties. I’m sure my dad wasn’t happy with that based on the look he gave her, but he never contradicted her. On the other hand, my dad told me he wanted me to experience trips during spring break and summer vacations.
As we left the diner, a group of men walked up behind us. My dad turned around and tried to protect my mom and me. He was outmatched and didn’t stand a chance against several men holding knives and guns. I was so afraid I thought I was going to pee my pants.
They told my parents to give them their money and jewelry, which my parents immediately handed over. They must not have liked what they were given because in the blink of an eye my parents were collapsing to the ground with gunshot wounds to their chests. I couldn’t hear anything over the screams coming from me.
Eventually the men got tired of my noise and they slammed me against the side of my family’s car. My purse fell to the ground as the men dragged me behind them and tossed me into the back of an SUV. One man climbed in with me and he tried to cop a feel the entire ride.
As soon as we got to an empty lot, all of the men climbed from the SUV and once again dragged me out. They began drinking and smoking weed. For a few minutes I was left alone. I looked around, desperately trying to find an escape but there wasn’t anything around us. We were surrounded by woods and there wasn’t enough light to make a trek through the trees without knowing where I was going.
I still tried to walk away from the men. One of them noticed and pulled me into the circle of them. They were fondling me and trying to rip my clothes from my body. One of them managed to rip my shirt from me while another one was trying to get my shorts off. Before he could succeed, another group of men showed up. There was yelling and one of the men told me to go to them. I wasn’t sure what to do. Or if my legs would even carry me the short distance between the two groups of men. Fear was making my entire body shake.
I got put in a van with two men when I finally made the decision to go with the new group of men. The driver is an older man and he looks like a huge grizzly bear. It’s not him who’s captured my attention though. It’s the younger man sitting in the passenger seat. He’s got dark hair, cropped close to his head. There’s an earring hanging from his ear and I noticed another one in the corner of his lip. I’m not sure what color his eyes are, but his face is hard. He looks so angry and I shrink in on myself so I’m not in his way.
The young guy has a tee-shirt on and I can make out tattoos as we pass under a streetlight. For some reason, he makes me feel safe even if he’s pissed. I’m sure it’s not me he’s mad at, I didn’t say a word to anyone when they arrived. No, he seems to be mad at the situation and I’m not sure why these men even showed up.
A few miles down the road, we pull over and the two men exit the van. They immediately open my door while the younger guy holds out a sweatshirt he pulled from a bag. It smells vaguely of him as I slip it over my head and let the warmth engulf me.
“My name’s Alex and this is Grizzly,” he says, his deep voice sending a thrill through my body.
Before I can say a word, an older man walks over and asks to talk to me. After looking at Alex, I follow the man. Alex nodded it was okay to go and I’ll listen to him. For now. I just hope I’m not putting my trust in the wrong man.
1
Vault
One week after Hound’s funeral
EVERYDAY I WAKE up and the pain hits me all over again. My twin brother, Valor, and I have lost our dad, Hound. He was our rock, a role model, and one of the best men I’ve ever known. Hound would give the shirt off his back to someone in need. There were times, he’d give his last dollar to a complete stranger to ensure they’d get something to eat or drink. Now, we’ll never see him again. A piece of shit took him from us and we didn’t get to exact our revenge against him. At least, not the way I want to, because they’re already dead.
I’ll never be able to talk to my dad about Annabell, the club, or anything else I need guidance on. Valor and I aren’t the only ones to feel his loss either. The entire Phantom Bastards MC feels his loss deeply. Especially Slim, our President.
Slim and my dad were best friends. They grew up in the club in the sense they became the men they are today. They’re loyal, demand respect, are brutally honest, and do what they can to help others out. Even if they spend more time on the wrong side of the law than the right side. Slim and my dad were among the few men in the Phantom Bastards who were around when the original members were still alive.
My dad and Slim are the only reason Valor and I are in the club today. They were our sponsors when no one wanted us around. We grew up in the club and thought our shit didn’t stink because we were going to be second generation members. Valor and I had a chip on our shoulder and no one had the faith in us being good members of the club. No one but those two men.
They taught us what was expected of us as Prospects and then when we would gain our full patch status. The day we became Prospects, dad and Slim brought in the house bunnies and made sure we had a night we’d never forget. Not that Valor and I were virgins by any stretch of the imagination. We’d been fucking anyone with a pussy since turning fifteen and learning what our cocks were meant to be used for.
It’s been hard to be in the clubhouse knowing my dad will never walk through the door again. Or share a game of pool with us. It’s the last place Valor and I ever made him proud, the day we became full patch members of the club he was a member of for most of his life. Now, it’s just a place I catch a tiny amount of sleep and eat when Annabell manages to get me to sit still long enough. I see daily reminders of the man I love and miss more than anyone else ever. Things I don’t want to see because the reminders are too painful.
The only bright spot in my life is Annabell. We rescued her from the same group of men who killed my dad. She moved in with Slim and his wife, Shy, but spends all of her free time with me. She’s been my rock since losing my dad
. Always making sure I have a safe place to talk, eat, and don’t get too tired while I’m out chasing a ghost. A ghost I’ll never catch but won’t slow down enough to realize it.
Annabell is seventeen, almost eighteen. She’s tall with long brown hair with streaks of red in it. The red is natural and not some color she’s added to her hair. Brown eyes stare back at me and I swear she sees into my soul. Her body is toned. She wears loose clothing which hides her body now. Annabell doesn’t seek attention from anyone, she goes out of her way to avoid it.
The only time I’ve ever seen any part of her is when we first came across her. She was wearing a tiny pair of shorts, showcasing her long, toned legs and a bra. Her flat stomach was on display along with her perky tits. They weren’t the biggest I’ve ever seen, but they were definitely more than enough for me.
Annabell is the first girl I’ve given my time to freely. I want to know everything about her, heal her pain from the brutal and tragic loss of her entire family, and I’m not trying to fuck her. That’s not to say I don’t want a taste of her because I do, but I want more from Annabell than a quick release. I want her in my life as my wife, my ol’ lady, and the woman giving me children. There’s been an instant connection between us and I want to have her by my side for the rest of my life.
Now, I’m pushing her, and everyone else, away. When I’m awake, I spend my time on my bike out searching. I want to make sure there’s not a man left alive who was at the cabin the day my father was killed. Rationally, I know we took care of them all before we even found my dad’s body, but it gives me something to do so I’m away from the clubhouse and everyone there.
I’m not going to work anymore, I drink when I’m at the clubhouse for any length of time so I can manage to get a few hours of sleep, and I’m ready to fight anyone who gets close to me. Annabell is the only one I’ve let remotely close and she’s been pulling at my last nerve lately. She wants to fix me and no one can. The sooner she learns that, the better off she’ll be. I’m broken and there’s no putting my pieces back together.
Today, I’m pulling back into the clubhouse because Slim told me he needed to talk to me. I’m sure I’m on his shit list, but I can’t be bothered by him or his anger. If he tells me to leave the club today, I’ll hand my cut over and walk away. It’s not the same without my dad. Being here means nothing to me anymore knowing my dad isn’t around.
Valor doesn’t feel the same as me. Instead of letting his anger shine through, he’s embraced the club and he’s mourning our dad with the rest of our family. He wants to be surrounded by Savannah and the rest of the club. I’d rather be on my own and no one seems to understand that.
Annabell meets me at the door with a plate of food. She hands it to me and tries to walk with me as I set the plate down on the nearest table. Her doe eyes look up at me filled with sadness and not understanding my need to be alone.
“Annabell, I’m not fuckin’ hungry and I don’t need you to follow me around like a lost fuckin’ puppy. The routine is old and I’m tired of it. Go find somethin’ else to do or someone else to fuckin’ fix,” I shout at her.
Everyone in the clubhouse has gone eerily silent and turned their attention toward us. I’ve never raised my voice to this girl since we found her and they know it. We’ve been glued together at the hip and she’s the only one I’d give a smile to. Today that ends.
“What did I do wrong?” she asks, trying to keep the tears from her voice.
“You’re constantly up my ass and I’m sick of it. I want you to leave me the fuck alone. Annabell, I’m not your savior and you need to fuckin’ leave me alone to live my fuckin’ life. Get you a life of your own while you’re fuckin’ at it,” I yell, turning my back to her.
Slim is standing at the entrance of the hallway leading to his office. His eyes are sparking with the anger he feels right now. I roll my eyes at him and storm from the clubhouse. He can kiss my fucking ass.
It’s been hours since I lost my shit on Annabell. Regret and pain fills me like nothing else. Not even the loss of my father. She’s the one person who’s stuck by my side since meeting her and now I’ve snapped on her. I’m losing the one person who I want in my life and there’s nothing I can do about it now. I’ll be lucky if she ever talks to me again after humiliating her in the middle of the clubhouse.
Valor, Slim, Shy, and Grizzly have been blowing my phone up since I tore out of the clubhouse parking lot. I haven’t answered a single call on the Bluetooth in my helmet. I’m ready to rip the thing from my head just to get away from their incessant calling. Instead, I pull into Allure.
Allure is the club’s strip club. I don’t want to be here, but I can silence my phone, get off my bike while I let regret fill me about Annabell, and get wasted off my ass. I don’t give a fuck about the bitches taking their clothes off on stage because not a single one of them can hold a candle to the girl I destroyed tonight.
If anyone knows the pain and loss I’m feeling right now, it’s Annabell. She lost her parents to a group of thugs and is now surrounded by the club. What those men took from her, they also took from me. Neither one of us will ever see our family again, we’ll live the rest of our lives without having our parents by our side as we make our path through life. We’ll have to make the journey alone from here on out.
I thought I’d have Annabell by my side, but I think I just fucked that up beyond belief tonight. Now, I have nothing to live for. Every day I seem to fuck another thing up in my life. The club, Annabell, my job, my family. I’m losing everything and I don’t want to fix it. I want to keep going on the same destructive path I’m currently gliding along.
Walking in the club, I take a look around as my eyes adjust to the dimness of the club. Loud music is blaring through the main room as one of the dancers performs her routine on stage. I walk to the table always reserved for any member of the club to sit at. One of the waitresses walks over and brings me a beer. She makes sure to bend down low enough for her tits to be on full display. I don’t even glance in her direction.
I pull out my phone and look at the several missed calls, not even bothering to read the messages I have. Instead, I motion the waitress over and tell her to bring me a bottle of Jack. I don’t want a glass— I want the entire bottle. I’ll drink it as I sit here until closing time. Then, I’ll crash here and hopefully no one will fucking interrupt me until I’m ready to start another day in hell.
2
Annabell
TODAY’S MY FIRST day of school in Benton Falls. Shy is taking me instead of letting Slim. I can just imagine what would happen if I showed up to school with him. He’d scare everyone away from me before I even stepped foot inside.
I love Slim, but he’s intimidating as hell and I know everyone in town knows who he is along with the rest of the Phantom Bastards. I’m not stupid enough to believe no one is going to find out who I belong to now, but I’ll deal with it as the situations arise. People are going to either want to be my friend to get close to the club. Or they’ll hate me because I’m around the club on a daily basis.
The members of the Phantom Bastards have become my family since losing my own. It was just my parents and me. Neither one had any siblings and my grandparents on both sides have long since passed away. I love everyone in the club and wish I was more like them, but I’m not. Instead of living free, I let fear and nightmares rule my life.
Vault used to chase my nightmares away. He’d talk to me on the phone for hours when I would wake up in the middle of the night. We’d talk about everything and nothing at the same time. He would tell me about growing up with Hound as a dad and in the club while I’d share stories of the adventures I’d go on with my parents. Eventually our talks would turn to us and what we wanted out of our future.
He would always talk to me about claiming me when I was done with high school. How we’d eventually get married and I’d give him sons and daughters. I wanted all of that with him. He used to tell me about the house we’d live in and what he�
�d teach our children. Hell, we even had names picked out. Well, he did. I’m not sure I agree with them, but that’s okay. We’re not there yet and he can change his mind still.
Since losing Hound, Vault has changed. He’s withdrawn, angry, and pushing everyone away. Until a few days ago, that didn’t include me. I was the exception to his rule. For some reason, he snapped on me and I haven’t seen him since.
Shy has kept me busy. She’s taken me shopping to make sure I have more than enough clothes for the school year, gotten all my supplies, and I’ve been helping her take care of Kinsliegh and Rayven. I’ve barely had time to think about the upcoming school year, let alone Vault.
When we’ve been alone, Shy has tried to convince me to try out for cheerleading. I know they’ve already started practicing because their first game will be soon, but with Vault pulling away, I think it’s best if I find out about trying out. I need to learn to live without him in my life because this is only the beginning, I fear. Vault is intent on destroying anything that reminds him of his dad. There’s nothing anyone can do to help him until he’s hit his rock bottom.
As I walk down the stairs with my bag over my shoulder, I find Slim and Shy sitting at the kitchen table. They’re talking in hushed tones and I have a feeling it’s about the man I fall in love with more on a daily basis. When they see me, they break apart and I know my instincts were right. Vault is always a topic of conversation these days. I just wish they’d all stop tiptoeing around me.
“Morning,” I say, setting my bag down to grab breakfast before we leave.
Twisted Steel: An MC Romance Anthology Page 9