I tapped out Worm’s number as I left the strip club and pressed the receiver to my face. If I didn’t do it now, I might back down, which was not an option. I just burned the only bridge I really had in the area other than Worm.
“Worm, you got a place I can stay until I can get back on my feet?” I asked soon after I heard his voice on the other end of the line.
“Absolutely. We have an empty room at the house as of yesterday, actually,” he said in an almost singsong manner. Worm was an unreadable guy, one minute he was stern and then the next chipper. I really didn’t understand him in the least, but didn’t have to take his offer. All of that would probably come next.
“Thanks. See you in a bit,” I said, thanking God for small favors because I really didn’t want to sleep in my car tonight. It was frigid outside.
“Travel safe.”
* * *
This wasn’t the first time I was at the clubhouse, but it felt different. A sense of euphoria consumed me and a genuine smile crept up on my lips. I’d missed having a place to call home, even if I hadn’t realized it was something important to me. Judging by my reaction, it was.
“Glad to see you came to your senses,” Worm shouted, opening the door and stepping out into the sunlight to greet me. “I’m the only one here—”
“Oh,” I absentmindedly interrupted him, my disappointment unmistakable.
“You’ll get to meet everyone soon enough, don’t worry.” He chuckled, holding his open hand out for me to shake. “We have to discuss a few things anyway.”
I opened the door to get my bag out of the back and he shook his head. “Leave it for now.”
My heart sunk into the bottom of my chest. I shouldn’t have believed it would be as easy as making a call to find a new place to refer to as home. There was always a catch, so why would this time be any different.
We got inside and he lifted a slat of wood right before walking beneath it to the other side of the bar. “Land somewhere. I have a lot of information to give you over the little bit of time we have.” He spoke swiftly and his entire demeanor rapidly transformed from carefree to business. “I will make sure no one finds out about your dad, but we have to go to Ohio to do it. There are a few dominos we have to set in place before someone can take the fall.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, grabbing the shot glass and sliding it to me, not comprehending why we had to go back to my home state to handle things.
“Cheers.” He clinked his glass to mine and continued, “A lot of work goes into covering one’s tracks.”
“But it was ruled as an overdose,” I argued with him, growing suspicious of his intentions.
“It was, but do you think people won’t figure it out? People always find out. Hell, maybe I’m wrong, but I can tell you when I worked in the precinct there was always one nosy fuck with a boner for questionable cases.”
“Were you the nosy fuck?” I accidentally said out loud and then bit my lip.
“Indeed. How do you think I know about your record of everything else?”
“Background check.”
“Yes, but it took some digging to find out about your dad. So, if I know, that means . . .”
“Fuck.” My hand flew up to my mouth as it dropped open. “Someone else knows.”
“Exactly, and that is what we’re going to take care of.” He winked, pouring another shot for the both of us and going over the details of the plan.
“We’re leaving tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? My car won’t make it that far.”
“Who the fuck said anything about a cage? I have a bike you can ride.”
“You do?”
“What are you, a fucking parrot, Lilly?” He chuckled, nodding his head, “Of course. You see these letters right here?” He pointed to his President patch. “This means I take care of mine and now you’re part of that definition.”
I resist the urge to hug him and politely smile as concern fills my body. Going back to Ohio was dangerous, but Worm was right— he found out the truth about my dad and we were in an entirely different state from where it happened. Which meant if he knew, so did the Dogs. The latter wasn’t a surprise, though. I expected this much from the other night. Honestly, if Slayer was here in West Virginia looking for me, it might be safer for me to be in Ohio right now. Despite how badly I would love to see him again, I couldn’t. It was riskier now than it ever had been.
7
Slayer
“Glad to be back home, Boss,” I admitted, dropping a bit of olive oil into the pot of water and putting the call on speaker phone.
“Bet you are. Thanks for doing that.” He reiterated to me for about the fiftieth time since we’d returned to the state, “I wanted to be there, brother.”
“We understand.” I stopped him before he said too much over the phone. Of course, he wanted to be in West Virginia and be the one who personally beat the brakes off that sack of shit, but it was too risky for him to do so. Preach wouldn’t have been able to stop himself before the guy was dead, and no one in his position could really. If the guy wound up dead, Preach would have been at the top of the list of persons of interest once they connected him with Caroline.
“Really, Preach, we got your back, brother. Don’t worry about it anymore,” I reassured him before saying goodbye and ending the call to look for spaghetti noodles. After searching through all the cabinets and finding nothing, I twisted the knobs on the stove off and covered the sauce with a lid. Guess this meant I was going to the store for noodles. I should have checked before I made the sauce, but I woke up fucking starving and apparently jumped the gun.
I fucking hated going to the grocery store, well, going shopping in general. It was the exact reason I had all the ingredients to make spaghetti but didn’t have noodles. Any time I came here, I was in a rush to leave as soon as I arrived. Today wasn’t any different. Life seemed to be getting back to normal and soon I would quit looking for Camille again. I never expected to see her here, so I wasn’t as on edge as when I was out of Ohio.
I grabbed an extra few items while I was shopping, so hopefully I won’t have to return for a while, and headed to the front to check out. My eyes raked over a beautiful frame beginning with her bare legs and I drank in every inch of her. Fuck, she was beautiful, at least the back of her was. She turned slightly to pull money from her back pocket and shock exploded like a detonated bomb in my body. The box of garlic bread immediately slipped from my grasp and she turned to pick it up.
It was her. It wasn’t her. I repeated those two very short sentences one after another silently to myself without moving a muscle. I refused to let myself believe someone else was Camille, especially in my hometown. This was my safe place. The one spot on the forsaken planet I didn’t freak out every time I saw a woman with blonde hair.
She bent to pick it up and when her eyes locked with mine as she stood, the box fell to the floor again. She sucked in a startled breath. “Dante,” her plump lips whispered a name that stunned both of us momentarily speechless.
My mouth couldn’t form words. My body and mind went from surprised to pissed and then overwhelmed in less than a minute. It was her in West Virginia. Had she followed me here? There were so many questions swimming around in my head and I couldn’t force out one of them.
“My bike is outside” were the words that fought through the silence. I grabbed her arm, leaving both of our groceries on the conveyer belt. She didn’t argue or try to pull away. Instead, she walked alongside me. That fact alone was unbelievable. I had to know for sure it was her. I didn’t know if she would answer me or not, but there weren’t too many people who called me by my legal name anymore. Actually, she rarely had in the past either, unless she wanted me to understand how serious a situation was.
“Camille, is it you?” I wouldn’t believe my eyes this time— they’d lied to me countless times over the years. I had to have confirmation somehow.
She slowly nodded and peered at me through her eyelashes.
“Fuck. It is? Fuck me.” My brain was on overload as I guided her to sit on my ride and I paced the pavement in front of her. “It really is you?” I stopped and closed the space between us, cupping her face within my palms, needing to touch her to be reminded I wasn’t delusional.
“Yes, Dante. I’m back.” She hardly spoke with any volume and her voice held little to no emotion. I couldn’t read her, and I hated it. “Can we go back to your place?” Her eyes shifted around the parking lot and she bit her lip. She was scared and I didn’t know what the cause was. In a flash, I was on my ride, her arms wrapped around my waist, and we were on our way.
8
Camille
I didn’t know if I was scared that Slayer was going to turn me in or if I was terrified that Dante realized it was me. Being this close to him confused everything in my body. I didn’t want the ride to end, because when it did, we had to figure out the hard stuff. It wouldn’t be just him and me— it would be us with all the complications of the world, the ugly stuff we didn’t need between us, that never should have been there in the first place, but I had no control over.
I still heard my dad’s curdled screams at night when I close my eyes. When I almost forgot what I was capable of, I welcomed the chilling sounds as a reminder of my wickedness. It was also as an awakening remembrance of how fucked up the world really was. I didn’t want to murder my own father, even if he had turned into a druggie, but he left me no choice after he shot that poison into Austin’s veins. I tried my damndest to bring my brother back, doing compressions and giving him rescue breaths, but there wasn’t any use. His body was cold by the time I got to him. When I tried to call 9-1-1, Dad said he would tell them I did it, that I killed Austin. I was too young to realize any idiot with a badge would figure out that wasn’t the truth. Maybe I didn’t care and just wanted to make Dad pay. Either way, the past was in the past and although I couldn’t erase it from my mind, Worm was about to expunge the steps leading up to it. I wanted to live my life without the constant fear of being caught banging around in the crevices of my mind. I didn’t know what part of this benefited Worm or what I was going to have to do to repay him, but I would do next to anything for a chance at a different life.
Honestly, the glimmer of a new life may not be attainable anymore. It all depended on if I was on the back of the bike with Slayer, avenging a state boss for the Dogs, or if he was Dante, the love of my life. The second was preferable, but that wouldn’t mean a thing if he didn’t still feel the same. There was too much shit to figure out right now to ever put love back into the equation. I hated the thought even crossed my mind, but it did, and now it was there. Did he still care for me or was he going to kill me? The worst possible answer to the question was both.
“Here we are.” He turned the key and the comforting roar of the engine that was keeping us safe vanished. He talked. Fuck. It was my turn now. Only, what did you say to someone after that many years? It wasn’t you, it was me? Even though that was the entire truth, he had nothing to do with it, I owed him so much more than that.
“Dante . . . er . . . Slayer. Fuck, I don’t know what to call you.” I sighed, dropping my forehead against his leather and accepting whatever fate I would be dealt. I couldn’t handle guessing anymore, it was driving me insane.
“Whatever the fuck you want to call me, Cam,” his deep voice all but purred. “Let’s get inside and then we’ll figure out things.” The moment was filled with danger and fuck if I wasn’t in trouble because even though it was the worst idea I had ever had, I wanted to fuck him. I missed him so much, and then when he spoke my name, I was done. Whatever he wanted to do to me, I wouldn’t fight it. I wondered if this was how the hunted prey always felt. There was something almost romantic in not knowing if your next breath would be your last. That the person touching you could either let you live or bring you death.
“Okay,” I agreed, climbing off his ride and following his lead inside the house. It was simple, but it fit him, or at least the him I used to know. This form of him was rugged and had seen a lot more than I wanted to hear about, I was sure of that fact.
After locking the door, he slowly turned to me and took me in his arms. “Where the fuck have you been? I thought you were dead . . . and then I didn’t . . . and then I did again. Fuck you, Camille. Fuck.” He released me and his arms straightened as he leaned his forehead on my shoulder. “Just fuck,” he whispered, turning his face toward my neck, his warm breath radiating through every centimeter of my skin.
“I’m sorry, Dante.” I spoke softly, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling our bodies against one another. It wasn’t enough— but what was? I had spent so many years running, I had never sat still long enough to consider it might not matter to him, that he might miss me as much as I missed him daily. I was a fucking asshole— that fact was clearer now more than ever.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. Fuck, I can’t believe you’re here.” He lifted his face and looked down at me in adornment, his fingertips stroking my cheeks.
“I do,” I tried to tell him. He deserved to know the truth, the whole story.
“We all do,” he confessed as his chest rose and fell irregularly.
I couldn’t take it anymore. My eyes burnt with tears of guilt or maybe happiness to be here with him. Perhaps it was a mixture of both. I didn’t want to lose it, so I squeezed my eyelids together to stop any more from appearing.
“Don’t cry.” He cleared his throat but spoke with such agony in his voice. “Please,” he begged, continuing to trace tiny lines against my cheeks with his fingers.
“I’ll stop,” I simply answered, knowing it was a lie as more tears developed and slid down my face and onto his hand. “I’m sorry,” I apologized again and opened my eyes, not realizing how close his face was to mine. I’d forgotten how beautiful his eyes were and how little self-control I had around him.
My mouth pressed against his just as he leaned his lips to mine. We both were hurting and obviously weren’t too successful at conversation at this point. At first, our kisses were soft and unsure and then they were deep and desperate. I needed him so much in this moment and I was afraid this would be the last I could have him. It didn’t matter how long this lasted because for it to be happening at all was a miracle. I guess it could still be a curse, but just to taste him one more time, it will have been worth it.
He pulled at the hem of my shirt and I fisted the bottom of his, both of us eager to get out of our clothes. “Fuck, I missed you,” he moaned, guiding our bodies to the couch after we ripped each other’s shirts off. “So fucking much,” he echoed the words from moments ago as he slipped my boots off and undid my jeans.
“Me too.” I panted, licking my lips and unbuttoning his pants, pulling his boxers down with them. He kissed me as he kicked his pants off and then pinned me beneath him. His eyes softened while he looked down at me. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He cupped his cock with one hand and teased my clit with the tip. My walls clenched as he made circles against it and I lifted my body to give him better access. I wanted him inside me, and this was torture, but the best kind. Hungrily, I rocked my body against his with pleasure. “Fuck me,” I moaned when his pace increased, and my breaths fell in a similar pattern.
“You don’t have to tell me again.” He released his length and rocked into me as I cried out.
None of this may make sense to most, it sure as hell didn’t make any to me, but I didn’t want to think anymore. I had to shut my mind down right now and enjoy the moment. All I needed right now was him. I’d forgotten how unbelievably amazing it felt to have him. I closed my eyes and wrapped my fingers around his neck, directing his mouth to mine.
9
Slayer
The way things turned out was unbelievable. I still questioned if last night happened when I awoke, but as soon as my eyes opened and landed on her, relief soared through my body. This was real. She was here with me. There were so many things we needed to talk abou
t, but last night I didn’t want to bring up any of them, or let her for that matter. Chances are I will not want to discuss them today and I hoped she won’t either.
This was only a small blip on the timeline of our life right now, but I planned to stretch it out. I refused to let her go again. I’d spent so many years without her, without reason. Now, I would give her every reason she needed to stay, despite how it affects me. I’d lived my life and it was clear I preferred it when she was in it, so if that meant walking through Hell to be with her, I would find some flame-retardant clothes and march my happy ass through the underworld.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to everyone who has made this publication possible.
To the readers, bloggers, fellow authors, and everyone in the book community: Thank you for letting me be a part of our ever-changing world. It’s hard to accept this is a big portion of life. I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I “grew up”, but I don’t think it was an author. I’m so thankful that I am, though.
Harmony: Momma loves you so much and I can’t wait for you to be the best big sister ever! So much has changed for our little family this year and it’s only February. Thank you for being far more understanding than I ever thought a child your age could be and always loving me unconditionally. I hope someday you will understand how much you mean to me because you are my world! Mommy loves you, Tinkerbell!
Eli Abbott: Husband, thank you for constantly doing the little things that are often overlooked by most. I really appreciate them and sometimes forget to show how much. Hormones are insane, lol but in the end they’ll definitely be worth it.
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