2
Rip
Fucking motherfucking cunt.
She is pregnant with my kid. How the fucking hell did that happen? Well, I know how it happens, but FUCK! I am always fucking careful when fucking women. I have never had a slip-up, until her.
Hearing her say those words as the door closed behind me has my heart racing and my stomach tightening so fucking hard, I swear it will stay permanently knotted.
Fuck, is the baby even mine?
I shake my head of those shitty thoughts because I know Indie isn’t that type of girl.
I have succeeded for years to avoid being close to her because she is the only woman who ever sparked any feelings inside of me since my beautiful Esther. I clench my fist and squeeze my eyes shut, forcing the image of my dead wife into my head and shutting out the images I remember of how Indie looked the night we fucked.
“Brother,” Zero calls me. He is the one brother that I am close to in the club, we grew up together in the club. I continue to storm over to my bike. I need to get the hell away from here before my fucking head explodes.
“I’m out, Z. I can’t fucking stay here,” I grind out. I swear my teeth are going to crack if I keep grinding them this tight.
I swing my leg over my bike and start her up. I keep my gaze off Zero. I rev, not wanting to hear what the fucker will say, because I know for a fucking fact I will not like what he has to say.
“You can’t fucking run. She is carrying your kid, man. You need to stay and sort this shit out.” I shake my head at my long-time friend and drive off. I need a long ass ride to clear my head. I have no place in mind as I drive, letting the town and the wind whiz by me as my bike eats up the road. The further away I go from the compound, the more my head clears.
I drive for over an hour before I pull up at a small campsite. I switch off the engine and dismount, stretching my body out, making the joints protest the long ride. My back and shoulders clicking makes me moan as the tension leaves my body, also reminding me I am getting older and now have another baby on the way.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Strolling over to an empty bench, I sit and stare out over the lake. It reminds me of the days we used to bring Austin here when he was a toddler. Esther loved camping, she liked being out in the open. People mulling around, kids playing in the water and on the bank, parents watching their every move, but enjoying themselves.
Enjoying their day. Not caring what anyone else is doing or how they live their lives. Nobody seeing the pain that other people are suffering and rightfully so. If shit doesn’t affect you then why get involved in the first place.
I knew that getting involved with Indie would make me feel shit that I had long buried, but I fucking failed epically every time she came around the clubhouse. I know Esther, hell, even Austin, wouldn’t want me moping around doing fuck all with my life, barely living. But knowing I could seriously fall for this girl has me in knots.
My phone dings from my pocket, so I pull it out and smile when I see my boy’s name.
Austin: Dad can you come pick me up.
Me: You okay?
Austin: Yeah, just feel achy and shit.
Me: Language. On my way.
I chuckle at the relationship we have. I parent when I need to, but most of the time, I let Austin do what he needs to do. He is a good kid, very respectful, and never brings the law around, which is a fucking bonus. He is old enough to know right from wrong, so he has free rein. He also knows that if he steps out of line, he will have me and the club coming down hard on his head.
I drive to the friend’s house that I dropped Austin off to this morning and climb off, seeing him sitting on their front porch with the kid’s mother. Giving her a nod, I help Austin to his feet.
“He is running a high temperature, Rip. I can come over and keep an eye on him with you if you want?” I shake my head at the fucking cheek of this woman. She is always trying to get in my pants and on the back of my bike. Well, she can fuck the hell off because that isn’t happening.
“Nah, it’s okay. I will have my girl come over and help.” I see Austin’s eyes go wide because he knows I have no fucking girl to go home to. He has been on my back for years to settle down. I know his heart is in the right place, but fuck, he doesn’t understand that his mom was the love of my life.
“Come on, kid, let’s get you home and into bed, yeah.” I gruff out while already turning to walk back to my bike. I hear Austin say his goodbyes. He meets me at my bike, coughing and spluttering.
“Shit, that hurts,” he mutters, catching his breath, holding his arm around his middle. There is no way he will be able to ride on the back of my bike. Raising my hand, touching his forehead, I feel that he is burning up. I mutter under my breath, pulling my phone out of my pocket.
“I’m fine, Dad. I can hold on,” he wheezes out.
“Not happening, kid. I will text Z, he can send a cage for you.”
Me: Send a cage to Dale’s house. Austin is sick, he can’t stay on the back of my bike. Not risking him.
Z: You got it, brother. He okay?
Me: Burning up and shit, coughing, wheezing.
Z: On its way. You need anything? Meds and shit.
Me: Yeah man, send some stuff over.
Z: Will do. Keep me posted.
We sit on the curb and wait for the cage to come. Austin gives up trying to keep his body upright, so he lays down on the grass behind him. Seeing him sick brings back memories of when he was a baby and he was ill and Esther took care of him, because I am a man and we are shit in these situations.
“You okay, kid?”
He nods, not answering me, I bet his throat feels like razor blades. I check his temp again, not actually fucking knowing what the hell I am doing. I know he is burning up and needs medication and a bed pretty fucking soon. We lay on the lawn, me straightening my back out, helping the achy feeling, I sigh when my lower back clicks.
Fuck, I am old.
I am not sure how long we lay on the grass waiting for a cage. When a car pulls up behind my bike, I am on high alert as soon as it stops. Sitting up, then jumping to my feet, I see who is climbing out of the car.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I snarl at her.
3
Indie
When Z said Austin was ill and needed a ride because he was too sick to ride on the back of Rip’s bike, I jumped at the chance to help. Plus, my thinking was it would give us time to talk.
Zero, winked at me while Wolf smirked. I stopped by the pharmacy on the way because Zero said Rip didn’t have any medicine for Austin. From his symptoms, I think he may have the flu, but we’ll see.
Pulling up, I see them both laying on the grass outside a house. Taking a deep breath, I turn the car off and slowly open the door. Rip leaps up to a sitting position and then gets to his feet before he yells at me.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I flinch at his harsh tone and for a split second, I see regret in his eyes, but in a flash, it is gone. My hands go to my stomach, both protecting my baby and trying to keep the nausea at bay.
“Well, hello to you too, Rip. I’m here to help.”
“I don’t need your fucking help. Go home.” He growls out.
“No, I am going to follow you home with Austin. I have medicine in the car. Now, stop being such an asshole and let me help your son.”
“I said, we don’t need—”
“Dad, stop. Leave her alone. She is right, I can’t ride on the bike.” He stops talking and coughs again. Shit, he sounds bad. Stepping around Rip, I walk over to Austin and help him to his feet, which is a slight struggle as he is built like a linebacker, even at his age. I lead him over to my car and help him in without even looking at Rip.
“You good?” I say to Austin. He gives me a lazy smile before he gives me a thumb’s up. Resting my hand on his forehead, I can feel how warm he is. Damn, we need to get his temp down.
“Stay close,” Rip snarls before he climbs o
n his bike and starts her up. I climb in my car and follow him home. Austin seems to drift off to sleep on the way home, if his light snores are anything to go by, but like my Grams always used to say when we were ill, ‘sleep is the best thing for him’.
Looking at him, as we sit at a red light, I see how much like Rip he really is. They have the same bone structure and coloring. I wonder what he got from his mother. Already at fourteen, Austin is taller than me, but then again, everyone is taller than my five-foot-two.
We pull up outside their house, Rip parking his bike in the drive and me right behind him, making sure Austin doesn’t have far to walk.
Climbing out of the car, I walk around to help Austin out. He stumbles a little, pushing me against the car.
“Fuck. Be careful, will you,” Rip bellows at me, making both Austin and I jump out of our skin. Ignoring his tirade, I help Austin to stand upright.
“Let’s get you inside, honey. You need a warm shower, some medication, then bed, okay? Sleep is the best thing for you right now. We need to break this high temperature you have,” I explain, ignoring Rip. He picks his son up like he is a rag doll and charges into the house. I’m left with no choice but to follow.
Their house is lovely, but you can tell Rip hasn’t had a woman around for a long time from the looks of the place. It is a total man cave. A black sectional in the living room, right in front of a coffee table made of an old wooden barrel, and a large flat-screen TV on the wall.
“Do you need my help?” I inquire. While Rip carries Austin to the bathroom.
“What? You want to shower my teenage son? His father wasn’t enough for you?”
I gasp and tears fill my eyes and a sickening feeling settles in my stomach from his nasty words.
“DAD! What the fuck?” Austin scolds him, as shocked as I am at the way he just spoke to me and what he said to me. My heart stutters in my chest. His eyes are narrow and shooting hate at me with such force I can feel it in my bones.
“Brian,” I whisper his birth name, my throat tightening by the second. Rip takes one more look at me and turns to walk back to the bathroom.
I stare after him, my heart breaking all over again. My hand lands on my stomach and the ache in my chest worsens at the knowledge that Rip won’t be in his child’s life because I am it’s mother. I know he misses Esther, hell, anyone would if the love of their life died.
Surely, he doesn’t hate me that much that he can’t stand the idea of having a baby with me.
The realization hits me hard and I gasp for air.
He does hate me.
Turning on my heel, I pick up my oversized purse from the counter and rush out of the house, not able to stay any longer.
He has well and truly shattered me and pushed too far.
Climbing into my car, I start it up and drive away without a backward glance. I know where I stand with Rip, so now I must move on, not only for my sake but for my baby’s.
I need to pull up my big girl panties, slide my feet into my Chucks, and walk away, head held high. There are millions of single parents around the world and they survive, they raise their babies to rule the world. I’ll be damned if I’m not one of them.
My child will take over the world one day. Biker daddy or not.
4
Rip
Fucking cunt on a stick.
Turning on the shower, my son glares at me. Even sick, he manages to look like his mom when she was pissed off at me. Shaking his head, he climbs in the shower, leaving his boxers on. His body shakes when the water hits him, but Indie said we have to get his temp down.
“Shit,” he shudders.
“You need me to stay in here with you, or are you okay?” I ask.
“No, go,” he sighs, not looking at me. Sighing, I turn to leave. “How could you, Dad?”
“What?” I ask, knowing full fucking well what he is talking about. I fold my arms across my chest, leaning back against the vanity I installed for Esther. She loved her oak furniture.
“Say that shit to Indie. She is a cool chick, Dad, and was only looking out for me.”
I regretted it as soon as the harsh words left my big fucking mouth, but I tend to say shit when I am pissed off. Closing my eyes, I pinch the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache building.
“I know. I’m having a shit day and I took it out on her. There are things you don’t know, kid.” I explain.
“Tell me,” he says as I shake my head at him. I suck in a deep breath. He is feeling like shit and I am not going to unload my shit on him today.
“Not today. You need to get some meds in you and rest up. You about done?” He nods his head, climbing out of the shower. He stumbles a little, but I manage to catch him.
“Come on, kid.” I quickly towel dry him but leave his boxers in place. “Yeah, you can take those fuckers off. I have seen your junk enough to last me a lifetime when I was changing your diapers. No need to traumatize me anymore,” I joke with him. He chuckles and drops his boxers from under the towel.
While I go and get him the medicine he needs, he slips into dry boxers. My heart is racing at the thought of Indie still in my house. When I make it out to the living room, I see it is empty and her purse is gone. Fuck, she left. Not that I blame her. I was a grade-A cunt to her.
My stomach knots, knowing I stressed her out by the shitty way I am acting toward her, especially when she is pregnant. Fuck.
Turning back to the kid’s room, I see a photo of the three of us before Esther died. Seeing her smiling face makes me miss her so fucking much. They say time heals all hearts, well the motherfuckers lied.
She has been gone a decade and I still fucking miss her. Miss her smile, her laugh. Hell, the way she would cuddle up to me in bed. I have never fucked women in a bed since her, always in different locations, until her.
I fuck and fly, it’s the best way, until her. Indie.
Walking into Austin’s bedroom, I see he is sleeping, curled up like a ball, just like he did when he was younger.
“Hey, kid, you need to take this.” I open the bottle, handing it to him when he leans up on his shaky elbow to take a few mouthfuls. “Sleep, okay. Call me if you need me, yeah?”
With a sleepy nod, he lays back down, pulling the blankets up to his neck and drifting off. Leaving him to rest, I make my way out to the living room, ignoring the photos of Esther smiling at me.
I know she would have my balls for the way I have treated Indie. But what choice do I have? I can’t have another baby with another woman, a woman I feel nothing for.
Now that is a bald-faced lie.
The thought leaks into my head. Fuck.
I can hear Esther now, bitching at me, telling me the reason I am so fucking angry and pissed is because I do feel something for Indie. She used to say I was always passionate, but I always tried to control it, and not always in the best way.
Sighing, I change direction and head into the kitchen to grab a beer or five. Fuck, I need something stronger, but I need to have a clear head for when the kid needs me. My phone dings from my pocket. Lifting my hips, I fish it out, seeing a text from Zero.
Z: What the fucking hell did you do? How’s the kid?
Me: Yeah, man, he is okay for now. Sleeping it off.
Z: That’s good. Now stop being a dick and tell me what the fuck you did to Indie?
Sighing, I fall back against the sofa, closing my eyes before I answer. Her heartbroken face is playing on a loop in my head.
Me: I said some shit that upset her. I fucked up, brother.
Z: Damn right you did. Pepper wants to come and chop your cock off, man, and slam it down your throat. Indie turned up here in floods of tears, saying she was done, talking shit about leaving and that she will be the best single mom in the world. That she doesn’t need you or any man.
My heart aches knowing I let her down and hurt her. My gaze lifts to the photo on the mantle. Esther gives me the smile I love, but I can’t smile because I know how disappointed in me she would
be.
Letting out a deep breath, I reply to him.
Me: I’ll sort it.
I leave it at that, dropping my phone on the cushion next to me. I have some fucking thinking to do and a teenager to look after. But would Indie really leave and take my unborn child with her?
Fuck my life.
5
Indie
Falling back on my sofa, I take a deep breath and think over everything that has happened over the last three weeks. My stomach now has a baby bump, only a small one but it is there. I am thirteen weeks pregnant, so now I can see the baby a little better and hear the heartbeat when I go to my appointment later.
I haven’t heard a word from Rip, and I am coming to terms with it. I can do this on my own. Well, mostly on my own because Pepper will be with me every step of the way, and so will the other men of the Reckless Angels.
Wolf made that clear when word spread that Rip was the father. I was to have unlimited support from the club. I haven’t been back to the clubhouse since the day I told him. Pepper and Zero have come around a lot, even Trace has been to see me. Wolf sent a text checking on me, making sure I haven’t fled like I threatened. I haven’t seen any of them, but I know they will be here if I need them.
Pepper beeps the car horn outside, letting me know she is here. She is coming with me today to see my baby for the first time. I texted Rip, just out of courtesy, to let him know about it, but I got nothing back.
There is only so much you can do before you stop trying.
Standing, I pick up my purse on the way out the door. As it locks, I check my phone once more. Seeing nothing, I sigh and plaster a fake ass smile on my face as I walk toward the car.
“Hey, girl. How you and baby feeling?”
“I’m good. I was a little sick this morning, but it is worth it.” I smile at her.
Twisted Steel: An MC Romance Anthology Page 34