Shit.
We pull apart slowly, and I gently lower Mira to the ground, helping her tug her skirt in place while blocking the view with my back.
I look over my shoulder to find my boss standing in the doorway, a frown on his face.
“Not cool, man. You’ve done it now.” He points to the small black half-orb—a surveillance camera.
In the closet? Why the hell would they—
“Mandatory. After recent events that involved an employee and a manager in a storage room on the ground floor. Brother, you’re in the shit now.”
Mira moves to my side, her head held high.
“Sorry, girly,” my boss says, his gaze landing on anything but her. “Think you might need to look for another job too. Tyler, wish I could keep you, man, but this isn’t something they’ll let me brush under the rug. Come on down to the executive floor. You’ve both got people who want to see you.”
Chapter Thirty
Mira
Tyler and the guy he works with escort me to Hayden’s office, and I knock on the door.
“Come in,” Hayden says.
I walk inside to find Hayden with her elbows on the desk, her head in her hands. She looks up and waves off Tyler and the other guard.
Tyler gives me a small smile of reassurance before his boss closes the door.
“Really, Mira?” Hayden shakes her head, a lock of dark blonde hair falling over one eye. “What were you thinking?”
“Tyler and I…”
We what? We’re a thing? We’ve known each other for ages, so it’s okay for us to hook up in a housekeeping closet? What the hell was I thinking?
Haden waves her hand. “I don’t want to hear it. I have to let you go, Mira.” She run her fingers through her hair and holds her head. “But I don’t get it. Couldn’t you take it outside, do it on your own time? Why here?”
“We—it’s not the way it seems. I mean, it is. I’ve been trying to take things slow with Tyler, but then those men came into the suite. I was scared and Tyler was comforting me…I’m making it sound worse, aren’t I?”
Hayden holds up her hand. “Back up. What men?”
“The last suite you sent me to. The one you tacked on to the list. There are illegal drugs in there, Hayden.”
Hayden stands and rounds her desk, plopping into the seat beside me, her face serious. “What are you talking about?”
I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I’ve lost my job. Nothing I tell her will change that. Not that I’m responsible for what I saw in the suite. In fact, Tyler made a good point. I don’t need this shit in my life. The things Blue Casino is involved in—the drugs, and who knows what else? What if what goes on in that sex suite isn’t consensual?
“Security amped up their personnel for the festival. Tyler’s team could spare him, so he joined me on my errands to the suites. I guess he didn’t want me going alone after my confrontation with Drake.”
“I heard about that.” She shakes her head. “I’m so sorry he came after you. That man is insane and he isn’t coming back. I received verbal confirmation from the CEO. Even if Drake gets off legally, which I highly doubt he will, Blue Casino already fired him.”
That’s all well and good, but after what I saw tonight…“Drake is crazy and horrible, but what if there are others? People more powerful than he was who are using the casino as a shield? You told me early on that you didn’t trust your coworkers. I’m wondering if the drama around Drake’s arrest might also be some kind of smoke and mirrors to hide other things going on at the casino.”
Hayden’s phone buzzes and she checks the number. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying, Mira.” She types out a text. “As far as I’m concerned, we had a psychopath in a leadership position who manipulated others and took advantage of young women. He’s gone and we can move on now.”
Hayden sets her phone down. “I don’t like the men Drake worked with, but they haven’t caused me more than minor irritation so far. It’s baseless for me to assume they are like Drake.”
“What about the drugs?”
“If the celebrities in the suites bring in their own—”
“No. This wasn’t a celebrity suite. It had a built-in sex room, plus stores of drugs and hypodermic needles. It was a permanent setup. And when the men came in with the Blue Casino signet rings, they talked about relocating it—”
“What?” Her body goes completely still.
“Tyler found the drugs and was trying to get me out of there when two men showed up. We hid behind furniture and listened to them talk. They were packing up like crazy, with the intent to relocate everything to another room by this evening. They seemed concerned about a breach. Maybe because of the Drake situation?”
“Fucking hell.” Hayden slams her fist on her desk.
Whoa, never heard Hayden swear before. But, yeah, F-bombs are in order.
“Did Jessie know about this place?” Hayden isn’t looking at me. She’s staring away as if thinking out loud.
Jessie must have known since she had a folder for the suite in her office.
“I’ll leave, Hayden.” I stand. “You’ve got a lot to deal with, and I’ve made this night worse. I’m so embarrassed about the closet. All I can say is that I was freaked out and Tyler was comforting me and, well, we got a little too comfortable. I’ll fill out whatever forms you need me to and pick up my things another day, when the casino isn’t so crazy with the festival. I’m really sorry about tonight.”
“No.” Hayden shakes her head. “Don’t go. Screw this place. So you kissed your boyfriend.”
“He’s not my—”
“Who hasn’t made out in a storage room?”
“Um, o-kay?” That’s too much information about my conservative, put-together boss.
“I need you tonight. I’ll talk to security. Make sure they keep this between us. And if they don’t, I’ll talk to management and convince them it’s in their best interest not to piss me off.”
“Whoa. Like blackmail? Hayden, this is crazy. You could quit. Blue Casino is possibly dangerous, and definitely unhealthy. Believe me when I say I know a thing or two about unhealthy.”
She stands and paces the room. “No way. I’m not running this time. I’m going to stay and fight.” Hayden stops and faces me. “Are you with me?”
***
In a way, Hayden is right. Why let these guys win? I’ve done nothing wrong. Well, okay, making out in the closet was not cool, but it’s nothing compared to the depravity going on at Blue.
I have no idea what Hayden was talking about when she said she wasn’t going to run this time. Has she run from this sort of thing before? I don’t get her determination to work at Blue Casino and see this thing through, but I love working with her and she asked me to stay. So I did.
The rest of the evening was a blur of errand-running and schmoozing with vendors, and even some celebrities performing that night. I didn’t see Tyler again, but then he doesn’t work for Hayden, and I’m pretty sure his boss was serious about letting him go.
It’s five in the morning and I’m just getting back. I cabbed it home, since Tyler drove me in to work. I tip the driver, and wobble up the gravel driveway barefoot. The gravel is hard on my feet, but not as hard as twelve hours in heels. I’ve lost all feeling in my right big toe.
A smile fills my face as I slide the key quietly into the lock. Tyler and I have traded off fighting this thing between us, and the dam finally burst in a happy-to-be-alive moment in the dark. What he said about me being the only woman he’s going to love was so Tyler, and so totally wonderful. I got a little carried away in that closet, but it felt good to let go. Tyler has been showing me in small and large ways he’s here for me, and I finally get it.
It’s turning light out, but Tyler won’t be awake at this hour. I wish I wasn’t awake. Better yet, I wish I were curled up next to him. I actually feel like I might be sleepwalking, my head is so fuzzy from exhaustion.
I squeeze the han
dle to open the door, but the door swings open for me. Tyler is standing on the other side, fully clothed.
“Hey,” I say, confused but happy to see him, a smile forming on my face—until I notice the worried look in his eyes. “Is everything okay?”
He doesn’t say anything. He grabs my shoes from my hands and closes the door behind me. And then I realize what I glimpsed as I exited the cab. The old car I’ve seen my mom drive in was pulled up on the street in front of our cabin. I was so out of it when the taxi dropped me off, it barely registered.
But it’s not my mom sitting on the couch, it’s her latest boyfriend. “What’s going on?” I ask Tyler. “Where’s my mom?”
Billy—Willy? Crap, I don’t remember his name, they all run together after a while—stands nervously, setting his beer on the coffee table. Beer at 5 a.m.? Of course. This is my mom’s boyfriend, after all. “Hi, Mira. Sorry to catch you so early—uh, late. Been here waitin’ for ya. Got some bad news.”
Tyler wraps his arm around my waist, his palm warm and a bit clammy on the side of my stomach. His hand is shaking.
I glance up to see worry and tension filling his face.
My heart speeds up and my throat goes dry. The 1970s clock with an orange and yellow rooster ticks loudly above the kitchen table.
My mom isn’t here…Where is my mom?
I shake my head. No. No, no, no.
“Your mom,” Billy/Willy says, “she took a nap and passed in her sleep yesterday.”
Chapter Thirty-One
“Was a peaceful way to go,” my mother’s boyfriend tells me. “Weakened heart, the doctor said.” Willy, Billy—whatever—shifts his feet. “I’m sorry to bring such sad news. I knew you’d want to know right away. Been keeping Tyler company until you got home.”
I swallow, my chest rising on a shaky inhale. “Just tell me one thing. All this time, the money I’ve been giving her, was it for drugs?”
Did I help put my mother in an early grave?
My mom’s boyfriend glances down. “Some, but she was living on scraps. You kept her fed. Wish I had been better about caring for her, but the itch got to me too.”
My hands are cold, shaking. I look down and stare at them. “Thank you for coming,” I say, going on automatic. “Do you need anything? Food or…?”
“Naw, I’m good. I’ll just—” He grabs his beer and walks toward the door. He stops a foot away and pulls out an envelope from his back pocket. It’s folded in half, the edges gray from dirt. “Found this in her things. Think she wanted you to have it.”
I stare at the envelope that Tyler takes for me, because I can’t seem to move my arms.
Tyler mumbles something to the guy and walks him to the door.
A moment later, I’m being wrapped in an afghan. Tyler picks me up and cradles me in his strong arms. He sinks onto the couch, and my body molds to his.
I think I should cry, but my tear ducts aren’t working, or my facial muscles. I am frozen.
We sit like that for what seems like hours.
I must fall asleep, because the next thing I know, Tyler is gently setting me aside, re-tucking the blanket around me. He goes to the front door and pulls it from the sticky jamb. Lewis is on the other side. And he looks a mess. His hair is standing on end—which is so not him. Tyler’s the one with the messy hair that I love.
“Mira,” Lewis says, and crouches beside the couch where I’m curled in the fetal position. “I heard. I’m so sorry. For everything. I should have talked to you sooner. I was worried about your relationship with your mom and I didn’t handle it well. I thought it would be you instead of…”
“You thought I’d die first.”
He nods.
Deep down, I thought I would die first too. I was supposed to die in those woods, or by the hand of one of my mom’s abusive boyfriends. I don’t know how to deal with this new reality. It feels no less awful.
Gen and Lewis stay the night in the bedroom, and Tyler and I sleep on the couch because I have no energy to move from where I am. Day turns into night and night day, but my internal clock is off. I am fully awake in the evening and doze during the day while visitors come and go. John and Becky bring food. Nessa and Zach are here, then gone, then back again. I can’t keep track. My brain is as cold and slow as my hands. And the whole time, Tyler holds me. When I’m not cradled on his lap, I am tucked next to his side. If anyone notices, they don’t say anything.
On day three, or four, I’m not really sure, I take a shower. I stand under the warm stream and the heat loosens the fist that’s had a grip on my chest since my mother’s boyfriend shared the news. Warmth pools around my heart, my throat goes salty and dry. Tears begin to pour from my eyes. A keening sound pierces my ears. Coming from my throat?
I can’t breathe. I am gasping and choking from the tears and the shower water sluicing down my face.
A loud pop sounds outside the shower curtain. The bathroom door handle being busted off. Tyler walks in and shuts off the water, wrapping me in a towel. He carries me out of the bathroom and up the ladder to the loft, one hand under my knees as I cling to his shoulders and neck. He tucks me under the covers of his bed and curls his body around me, while I weep for a mother who never loved me.
Who left me.
For good.
***
The next morning, I wake to light streaming through the small window in Tyler’s loft. His face is unshaven, and he looks as if he’s gone a good week without a razor. His short beard is red.
I take in the smooth skin above the facial hair, the way his dark lashes fan out above his high cheekbones. He is beautiful.
I kiss his nose.
A thick arm tightens around my waist and his eyes flicker open. Tyler raises a hand to my forehead, brushing the hair back. “I’m sorry,” he says.
I cuddle in closer and Tyler holds me tight. He said I wasn’t alone, that I had other people besides my mom and Lewis’s family, but it wasn’t until I lost my mom that I believed it.
I pull back and look into eyes that hold a touch of shadow beneath, as if he hasn’t had much sleep either. “Let’s get dressed and take a walk.”
Tyler makes me toast and eggs while I change into jeans, flip-flops, and a light sweater. We eat breakfast, then walk into the bright morning light. I touch the envelope I tucked in the back pocket of my jeans as we head for the lake a few blocks away.
Birds chirp, a few cars pass us on their way to places unknown. The world should be a dark place, but it isn’t. The sky is bright blue, the crisp scent of the pine and soil cleansing the air. There is laughter as we near a busy intersection. Life goes on, and it seems happier than the one I’ve lived in.
We cross the boulevard that divides the lake from the strip, and I walk down a flight of stairs to the sand. A portion of an old cement pylon rests at the foot of the stairs and I climb on top, staring out at the lake, mesmerized by its constancy. Tyler stands beside the pylon, picking up rocks and tossing them into the shallow waves.
I pull out the envelope from my mother and open it. Tyler climbs up and sits beside me, close, but not crowding, his gaze on the water.
I unfold lined paper it appears my mother tore from a spiral notepad.
Mira,
This has been gnawing at me, but I never can get it out when you’re around, so I’m saying it here. Maybe one day you’ll find it. I wish you could have known your daddy. He was a handsome son of a bitch, a charmer. And one day he was mine. I never felt so good as when your daddy was mine. I was happy when you were born, but then your daddy left me. You’re not a bad kid, just a reminder of losing him. But you’ve been there for me, and that’s more than I can say for most people in this rotten world. You’re different, girl. A good kid.
Mom
My breath hitches. Tyler’s arm snakes around my shoulders, holding me up. I fold the note carefully and place it in the envelope.
All these years I thought I wanted my mom’s love, and I did, but this means something too. I
’m different from her and my father. Even my mother acknowledged it, and for once she didn’t seem disappointed.
“Tyler, I think I want to be alone for a couple of days.”
He stares down at me, confused. “Why? I don’t want to leave you.”
I look out at the lake, the pain, the sadness eating at me. At the same time, I am filled with a sense of relief, which frightens me. I don’t know what it means.
“You aren’t leaving me. I just need to be alone for a little bit.”
He leans down and hugs me tight. “If that’s what you want.”
I’m not sure what’s going on in my head, which is why I think I need this. “It is.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
As soon as Tyler grabbed his things and moved out of the cabin, I returned to work. I can’t say I didn’t experience a flash of panic at seeing him leave the house, but it felt right to have this time to myself. I’ve paid back nearly all the money I owe the loan shark, and the man seems content to let me return the rest in a couple of weeks with my next paycheck.
I agreed to let Lewis make the final cash deliveries, because honestly, he’s been a total pain-in-the-ass big brother over the entire thing. Lewis feels helpless and guilty for walking out when I told him the real reason I was in debt. He was hurt that I’d lied to him. Then my mother passed. He felt like he’d taken his frustration too far and wasn’t there for me when I needed him. He’s being overly protective now. He and Tyler have hounded me to turn in the Denim Jacket guy who worked at Blue, so I agreed. In a couple of days I will. Right now, I’m seeing my therapist and working, and trying to figure out what it means to not care for or worry over my mother anymore.
It’s been almost three days since Tyler moved out. I’ve cried, talked to my therapist for hours, and even written down my feelings about losing my mom. SuperMom and I have had poker marathons where we messaged and she comforted me over the loss. What I’ve learned from all of this? I’m less burdened, and that’s why I feel guilty. I’ll always wonder if I could have done more for my mom. No matter what she did or didn’t do, I miss her. Miss what we could have had if she’d been clean.
True Blue (Blue Series Book 3) Page 21