by C. Shell
With a sigh, I nod. “I don’t care if you come. We might not be a couple, but you’re still Nate and Jimmie’s best friend, and I’m not selfish enough to steal that away from any of you. What goes on between us shouldn’t affect them.”
“Sounds good,” he says, his eyes firmly locked on my face.
A girl can only be so strong, and with the intense way Dex is looking at me, my resolve is melting faster than ice cream on a hot summer’s day. And then he smiles and flashes that dimple and I’m a goner. Fucking hell, I’ve got to get away from here before I do something I’ll regret.
Flustered, I turn and run into the class, slamming the door shut behind me. It isn’t until I’m halfway across the room that I notice the stares and snickers. Holy hell, I just slammed Mrs. Johnson’s classroom door in Dex’s face. I let out a small curse and tilt my head down to hide my burning cheeks behind a curtain of hair. With the number of phones snapping I can just imagine the gossip being spread.
“Is everything alright, Addison?” Mrs. Johnson’s concerned voice slices through my hysteria.
“Yes, of course,” I answer, hoping my mock happy tone placates her. “I…um, I saw a large rat in the hallway and wanted to shut the door before it could get in.”
“Okay, then,” she says giving me a sympathetic smile that says she knows I’m lying. Mrs. Johnson waves me forward, urging me to take my seat which I do without question. Anything to not be standing in the center of the room with everyone staring at me.
A rumble of laughter follows me to my desk. When the teacher starts her lesson, I think my humiliation can’t reach a new level, and then my phone vibrates indicating I have a new text. Retrieving my phone from my pocket, I hide it under my desk and covertly glance down at the screen.
Cam: A girl in my class just told me that Mrs. Johnson caught you and Dex making out in the hallway and had to lock the door to keep him away from you. What is going on?
Before I can respond my phone vibrates again.
Nate: Why are people saying that you attacked Mrs. Johnson with a killer rat after finding out that she and Dex are secret lovers?
I tip my head back and curse the high school gods. As if my life wasn't already a gossiper’s wet dream, now I had this bullshit to deal with.
Chapter Four
I can’t sleep.
I’ve laid in this bed for the past three hours with sleep evading me at every turn. The one time I started to drift off, I was awoken by Jimmie serenading the toilet after eating one too many bean burritos. The sounds coming from the bathroom were things nightmares were made from.
It’s edging close to two in the morning, and I have a major test in chemistry tomorrow that I can’t afford to fail. I’ve tried counting sheep, drinking warm milk, and listening to classical music, and yet, the Sandman isn’t doing me any favors tonight. I’m out of options and don’t have a clue how to function on only a few measly hours of rest.
Rolling onto my side, I stare at my wall full of pictures that I’ve collected over the past few years. My eyes land one my mom took of Cammy and me at the beach a few years back. We wanted to be buried in the sand to look like mermaids and paid some younger kids to do the honors of covering us from the neck down. My mom took a picture to remember the event and then laughed at us all night as we removed sand from places on our bodies that sand shouldn’t ever go.
I smile at the memory, and then move on to another photo, one that includes Dex. The picture was taken on his fifteenth birthday right after I shoved a piece of cake in his face. The memory of how shocked he was has me laughing out loud. Things were so much simpler between us back then.
The next photo my eyes land on wipes the smile from my face. It’s of Nate and me sharing a hot chocolate on our trip to Colorado. If I had known that everything would go to shit after that vacation, I wouldn’t have wasted a single moment of it. I would have laughed harder, loved longer, and fought to keep us all together. Hindsight is a fucking bitch.
There is no way I’m getting any sleep now. Feeling more depressed than I have in a long time, I slip my phone off the side table and call Nate. I don’t doubt that he’s asleep like any person should be, but I need someone to talk to, and he’s a good listener.
By the second ring, I’m kicking myself for bothering him. I could hang up now, but what if I already woke him? The third ring comes, and my finger hovers over the end button, determined to press down the moment I hear the next ring. The fourth ring never comes. Instead, I get Nate’s voice rough with sleep. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” I answer, my voice sounding loud in the quiet room. “I’m sorry to wake you. I couldn’t sleep, then I got to reminiscing while looking at old photos.” I shake my head at how lame I sound. “Go back to bed. I’m being stupid.”
Before I can hang up, Nate’s voice stops me. “You’re not stupid. Now, tell me about these pictures.”
I do just that and end up talking to Nate for over an hour. When I finally notice the time, I want to kick myself. “I’m the worst friend for keeping you awake.”
“Don’t be stupid. I’m glad you called me.”
I breathe out in relief and sag a little further into my comforter. “Thanks, Nate. All this talking has actually relaxed me. I think I’m going to try and get some rest now.”
“So, you’re saying that talking to me has literally bored you to sleep?” he jokes.
I laugh. “Never. You were exactly what I needed.” I freeze. Those words inside my head didn’t sound as sexual as they sound out loud. I obviously can’t take them back which leads me to try to transform them into something platonic. “I mean, talking with you is nice and us talking about friendship…about our long friendship and things like that, well that’s nice and all too.”
I sound like a babbling idiot. To make matters worse, Nate is laughing so hard he can barely catch his breath. “Calm down, Addy Bear,” he says between snorts. “Please don’t keep going. I understand what you meant.”
“Good, because that was brutal.” I clear my throat with an awkward giggle. “I’m going to stop while I’m ahead and go now. See you tomorrow, Nate.”
“Night, Addy Bear.”
***
“How do you think you did on the test?”
I lift my head from the desk and send Cammy a glare that says far more than any words could. “Mr. Vicks said that if I don’t get my grades up in this class, I will be forced to do summer school. He suggested I get a tutor.”
“Wow, that’s no good.” Cam’s eyes soften as she takes a seat beside me. “My grades aren’t the best in that class, but I will try and help any way I can.”
I wave her off and get out my notebook so I can finish my math homework. After sixth period Cammy and I have study hall in the library. With the way my Chemistry and English grades are plummeting, I will need a miracle to keep from failing this semester. “Mr. Vicks is assigning me, someone from one of his AP classes. He said he would have a tutor set up for me by the first of next week.”
“Will that interfere with your work?”
Good question. I pull out my notes while thinking about how I will juggle work and tutoring after school. I’ve been saving up some money so Cammy and I can go on a small vacation to Mexico this summer. “I think it will be okay. Seth can be a jerk, but even he knows that school comes first. I’ve got half of the money we need for the trip so missing a few shifts here and there shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”
“You seem out of sorts today. Is that the only thing bothering you?”
I cover my mouth and try to stifle a yawn, something I’ve been doing a lot of today. I haven’t seen Nate today, so I’m not sure how he’s doing, but I hope he’s fairing better than I am. “I got very little sleep last night,” I confess. “I feel dead on my feet.”
“Too much sugar or bad dreams?”
“Neither,” I answer with another yawn, one so big it makes my eyes water. “I think my body misses Dex.”
Cam leans over
with a twinkle in her eyes and talks low, so only I can hear. “Are you talking about sex?”
I shake my head. “Nope, although I do miss that.” I put down my pen and get serious. “Before everything went to hell, Dex would climb into my bedroom almost every night and sleep in my room. It wasn’t always about sex, but about being close to each other. I got used to cuddling up next to him when I slept.” I lean back and give her sad eyes. “Now that he’s gone I’m having a hard time falling asleep. I think my body misses using him as a life-sized teddy bear.”
For a long moment, all she does is stare at me. I start to think that I’m more fucked up then I realize or maybe it’s all in my head and I have salad dressing left on my face from lunch. I’m seconds away from retracting my words and telling her it was all a joke when she surprises me by nodding her head. “That actually makes a lot of sense.”
“It does?” I question. I’m beyond shocked that she agrees with me.
“Totally,” she says with a sympathetic smile. “We’ve been learning about dependency and coping mechanisms in health class. Your body is going through withdrawals.”
I don’t know if I should laugh, be offended, or give her a pat on the back for coming up with that on her own. “You think I’m addicted to Dex?”
Cam stifled a smile. “Not in the same way that a druggie needs his next hit.”
I raise my brow. “You just compared my relationship with Dex to a junkie,” I accuse in disbelief. “That is not okay.”
Cam holds up a hand, her body shaking with a suppressed laugh. “That is not what I meant. I was trying to express that you and Dex have a tight bond. After Nicholas attacked you, Dex was a constant in your life and someone you leaned on for support. I think it’s only natural that you would mourn the loss of him being around.” She tilts her head in thought before adding, “It’s kind of like when a person loses a limb, and they have phantom aches and pains as if it’s still a part of them.
“Oh.” I cough to remove the lump of emotion clogging my throat. “It sounds much better when you put it that way.”
A heavy silence descends around us. Needing to lighten the mood before I burst out crying, or something equally stupid and horrifying, I bring up our weekend plans. “Are you excited about the carnival?”
“Why are you two so hopped up on going to the carnival?”
I whip around and smile at our intruder. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a test to take during study hall today?”
Nate laughs and bends down to give me a hug before taking the empty seat next to Cammy. “I did, but it was easy, and I finished up early.”
One side of his lip curls up in a cheesy smile and has me forgetting all about my sour mood. “We should carpool this weekend. I don’t see any reason for us all to drive.”
“Agreed,” Cammy answers. “We can take Jimmie’s car and Dex’s truck since they can hold the most people.” She glances over my shoulder, her brows creasing, and I turn to follow her gaze.
I watch two kids sneak to the back of the library where they will most likely get caught making out. I’ve never understood why they think they will get away with it. We don’t have an extensive school library, and every inch of it is lit up like the fourth of July. Ms. Rivers, the librarian, is a stickler for proper lighting. With extra thick glasses, she believes that it will help keep our eyes healthy while we read.
“Idiots,” Nate mutters under his breath, no doubt seeing the same thing we are.
“Again, agreed,” Cam says.
Before any more plans could be made, the bell rang, signaling the end of study hall. I laugh and look down at my partially done homework. So much for watching television tonight after work. Throwing my books into my bag, I give my friends a wave goodbye and head to my last class of the day, which happens to be P.E.
With the number of yawns coming out of me, though, physical exertion is going to suck butt more than usual. If I can make it through running laps without falling on my face, I will consider this day a success.
Chapter Five
I’ve never done well under pressure. Some people thrive when pushed to their limit, and do their best. That’s not me. My brain short circuits and I fall short. Today is proof of that. It’s Saturday, and I’ve been working by myself for the last four hours on back-to-back birthday parties because Louis, my co-worker decided to up and quit without giving notice. Seth could chip in and help, but manual labor is beneath him, or so he thinks.
I was scheduled to leave work an hour ago which didn’t happen because a little girl threw up everywhere on the ice after eating too much ice cream. I dare you to try and clean up slushy vomit and not get sick. It’s disgusting.
Now, I’m running late and only have thirty minutes to get home, take a shower, and get dressed before we leave for the fair. I don’t even have time to eat before we go which means my dinner for the night will end up being fried Twinkies, hot dogs, and funnel cake.
I’ve got the windows down, and I’m cruising through town minding my own business while listening to an old Beatles song when I notice a police cruiser behind me with his lights flashing. I check my speed which shows I’m barely breaking three mph over the speed limit. My pulse increases despite my innocence. Pulling over to the side of the road, I turn the car off, and dig in my bag until I gather my driver's license and insurance card in hand.
I watch from my rear-view mirror as the officer, an older man with a trimmed beard and short grey hair walks up to my side window. Instinctively, I hand him my license and registration without him even having to ask. Then I smile at him because I’m nervous, and that seems like the right response in such a situation.
“Do you know what you were doing wrong?” he inquires.
“Umm.” Such a tricky question. I’m not admitting to anything without proof. “Sorry, officer but I don’t.”
“You were speeding,” he says in a no-nonsense tone.
I blink in surprise. “I couldn’t have been going more than three miles over the speed limit, sir.”
“I clocked you going closer to five over,” he argues. “I’m going to go run your information through our system to make sure you don’t have any warrants. Sit tight, and I’ll be right back.”
The moment he walks away I slump down in my seat feeling defeated and confused. What is happening? My fingers tap away on my steering wheel as I wait a very long and tedious twelve minutes for Mr. Policeman to stop playing on his computer and rejoin me.
When he hands me back my things, there is a warning ticket included with them. I glance down at it and then back up at him with wide-eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that it's just a warning, but I still can’t believe he pulled me over to begin with. There is no way I’m going to be ready in time now.
“Are you the same Lewis girl that filed charges against the Devon kids?”
My stomach plummets so fast I feel a little sick. I don’t like where this is going. Why is he bringing up Lacey and Nicholas? “That’s me,” I say, crossing my arms.
The officer’s brows slant low as he gives me a once over. When he speaks his voice is deep and formidable. “The Devon family is good people. They donate a lot of money to the community, and if it weren’t for their generosity, the police force wouldn’t have new equipment. It doesn’t bode well for our town to have their children’s names and reputations dragged through the mud.”
I swallow hard, not knowing how to respond. When I don’t speak right away, the officer taps the top of my roof and starts walking back to his cruiser. When he’s almost back to it, he calls out over his shoulder, “You stay safe now, Ms. Lewis.”
I sit in my car trembling long after the police officer leaves. I should be pissing my pants, except my whole body feels numb. My hands are shaking to the point that I have to sit on them to keep them still. I’m not a complete idiot; I know a threat when I hear one, and that damn cop just threw one at my feet. He made the Devon’s sound like fucking untouchable royalty. Maybe they are in
this town.
My inner turmoil takes a backseat when my phone rings, distracting me and bringing me back to the fact that I’m late. Shaking off my nerves, I check the screen and sigh heavily before accepting the call.
“Hey, Cam.” I wince at how high pitched and unnatural my voice sounds.
Luckily Cam is too focused on her own issues to notice. “Where the hell are you?”
“Not far from the house. Be there in a few minutes. Do me a favor and get the shower water hot and running for me?”
“Fine, but you better hurry.”
The phone drops without a proper goodbye. I shake my head and decide to keep my encounter with the cop a secret. No good will come from bringing to light what happened. If everything he said is true, then the police won’t help me. I refuse to let the CW Boy’s get themselves involved in something that will end with jail time. I’ll accept whatever crap this closed-minded town throws at me if it means my friends stay safe.
With a renewed sense of purpose, I start my car and head home with a big fabricated smile set in place to hide all my secrets.
Chapter Six
Whoever thought greasy fried foods and spinning machines were a winning combination should be tarred and feathered. By the time we arrived at the fairgrounds after a long fight of who should ride with who, my stomach was ravenous. I first split a Frito pie with Jimmie, but that barely scratched the surface. I went back and got a corn dog, a large drink, and a sugar-coated funnel cake for dessert. With my belly full and happy, I joined the others on the tilt-a-whirl. Big mistake.
“You look uncomfortable. Scoot over and lay your head in my lap.” Nate barely gives me any time to comply before he’s sliding in beside me and helping me get into a more comfortable position.
“Funnel cakes are evil,” I say around a soft moan.
Nate snickers, and runs a hand over my hair, pulling the sweaty pieces off my neck. “I won’t say I told you so because that would be mean.” His hand stops moving and rests on my face, turning it slightly, so our eyes meet. “How bad is your stomach hurting?”