by C. Shell
Speaking of bigger fish, did I mention that my dad is a crook? When Dex and Nate showed me the pending cases against him, I totally freaked out. How did we not know about this? I get that my parents are divorced, but you would think that he would give her a heads up about all his legal trouble. Just goes to show you that he’s delusional enough to believe that his problems won’t come back to bite him in the ass.
I can’t wait to prove him wrong.
“Find anything new?” Dex’s voice washes over me.
I haven’t forgiven him, but I have put our issues on the back burner while we concentrate on helping Jimmie. My brother’s welfare comes first, and I’m mature enough to admit that I couldn’t do this without his and Nate’s help.
Problem is, being around him all the time is wearing on me. Like right now, with his arm brushing against mine, my brain is scrambled, my eyes have locked on his lips, and all I want to do is kiss him. I would probably give in and go for it if it weren’t for Nate’s voice overriding my clouded mind.
“Earth to Addy.” I shake out of my stupor. Nate’s gaze connects with mine in concern. “You okay, sweetie? Do you want to take a break?”
“No, we can’t,” I reply with steel in my voice. “March starts in a few days which means we don’t have much time. Jimmie has to be registered for summer camp by the end of April, or he won’t be allowed to attend. I can’t let that happen.”
“We can’t let happened,” Dex amends. “You’re not alone. We’re in this together.”
And roaring back to life is that damn urge to kiss him. I wipe the stupid smile off my face and get back to work, searching through old newspaper clippings, looking for anything related to David’s business. So far, I’ve found a handful of complaints brought against him but nothing that would be damaging enough to hold over his head.
We’ve been meeting up at Nate’s house for the past few weeks to do our covert research. I am in charge of looking into old newspapers in and around where my dad lives and works. Nate is checking into his company, including the employees, while Dex—who knows a little bit about stocks from his dad—examines my dad’s holdings and such. I don’t really understand what all Dex does, but I recognize that it has to do with looking into other people’s money.
I’m just about to give up when I come across an article about a Mrs. Pevy, a widowed woman who claims that David stole all her husband’s retirement money. She argued that the case was dropped because David and the D.A. were best friends. I don’t know my father well enough to weigh in on that argument which is why I read the article at length, judging to see if it has any legs to stand. Once done, I’m perplexed. Her story sounds legit, but there is so much emotion involved that I can’t tell if it’s a gold mine or a piece of fools’ gold.
“Take a look at this and tell me what you think.” I turn my computer screen around, so the guys see what I’m talking about. “It might be nothing, but my gut is telling me different.”
Waiting for their reaction is excruciating. Nate and Dex’s facial expressions tell me absolutely nothing. They read it a time or two before glancing at each other and doing that odd, non-verbal conversation thing they are known for.
I can’t stand the suspense. I am bouncing in my seat, unable to stay still for another second when I start to pace. “Well?” My eyes flicker between them, waiting for their reaction.
“It sounds like a solid lead,” Nate answers with a smile. “We’ll need to do some more digging, but this could be what we’re looking for.”
My elation can’t be contained. Week after week of hunting and we have finally found something useful. I jump from my seat on the couch and start doing a happy dance. Nate and Dex just stare at me, smiles tilting their lips. I don’t want to be the only person enjoying this moment, so I grab their arms and haul them off the couch to dance with me.
“If we’re going to do this, then let’s do it right.” Nate grabs his phone and starts pressing buttons.
“What are you doing?” I’m exasperated that he’s ruining the fun by playing on his phone.
“You have no patience,” he laughs. “Give me one minute, and you’ll see for yourself. I promise it will be worth it.”
Not a minute later the song One Kiss by Calvin Harris begins blaring from the speakers placed strategically around the room. The ire is leached from me as we start dancing with renewed happiness. We move as if choreographed. Nate swings me to the right where Dex intercepts with a dip and twirl. The first song goes by quickly, replaced with I’m In Love With You by Tony Moran, and after that, Love Is Bigger Than Anything In Its Way by U2.
The last song is slower than the first two, which is good because I’m losing steam fast. The beat is compelling, moving me like a puppet on a string. With my arms in the air and my eyes shut, I sway and bend like a rope uncoiling. A set of hands grips my hips, and a warm body moves in behind me, mimicking my steps. My breath catches in my throat, but I continue to dance, not daring to open my eyes and see which of them is at my back.
Before I can process what’s happening, a second body is pressed against my front, and another set of hands slip around my neck. My eyes spring open and then I’m drowning in a sea of blue. My mind might be freaking out, but my body doesn’t miss a beat as we move as one, dipping and grinding to the music.
Dex stares down at me, even as one of his hands claps the back of my neck. I should be scared, and yet, I’m not. I feel electrified, not knowing what will come next or when it will all end.
Memories of our time on the Ferris wheel assault me and my stomach clenches in anticipation. “I forgot how much you like to dance,” Nate muses, his voice raking down my body like nails over supple skin.
“Yeah,” I reply, my voice a raspy version of itself. I can feel every perfect inch of them both as they rub against me seductively. It’s driving me mad.
Dex’s hand slips into my hair, and I gasp my surprise when he gives it a slight tug, tilting my head to the side just as a pair of warm lips assault my exposed neck. The warmth stuns me. My eyes search Dex’s asking questions I’m too scared to verbalize.
What are we doing?
Are you okay with this?
Dex’s eyes flood with heat, holding me hostage as Nate’s teeth drag over a sensitive spot behind my ear. Before I can voice a protest, he soothes it with his tongue garnering a whimper from my lips. My body is incapable of moving with them both so close.
I feel as if I’m unraveling from the inside out. My mind can’t wrap around the mistake we’re making. And yes, it is a mistake. No good can come from this. Unfortunately, I think we’re beyond stopping. It’s like we’re on a train and we can see the tracks ending in the distance, but we can’t force ourselves to jump. We’re doomed.
A daring grin spreads across Dex’s face right before he bends down, capturing my lips and stealing my breath away. I freeze for all of one second before returning the kiss with gusto as I lose myself in his familiar taste. The world around us does not exist at this moment. It's just us, our needs, desires, and bad choices.
“Nate,” I moan his name while pulling Dex closer. We are going to hell for this, that I am sure of. There are numerous reasons why this is all wrong, but none of them matter right now.
As if answering my unvoiced plea, Nate teases my throat with fiery kisses. It’s all too much and not enough at the same time. I buck my hips against Dex, grinding my achy sex against the prominent bulge in his jeans.
Dex smiles against my lips. I’ve been trying to stay mad at him, but these last weeks have made it hard to keep my anger fueled. My heart flutters making it hard to think. My euphoria comes to a crashing halt as the last song finishes, blanketing the room in silence, save for our heavy breathing.
3, 2, 1…and cue the freakout.
My body turns to stone in their arms. I sneak a look at Dex since I can’t see Nate behind me and find a strange look on his face. I try taking a step back, but that just puts me closer to Nate, which won’t do. Right now, I n
eed to be alone, so I can process everything.
“Addy Bear, please don’t leave,” Nate says, his voice a soft caress. “At least not until we can all talk. This…” He moves around me so that he’s standing next to Dex and runs a hand through his hair, making it stick-up at odd angles. “Hell, I don’t know what this was exactly,” he says softly.
I’m aroused, and that embarrasses me.
Does this make me a slut? I don’t want to believe that, but isn't that what society would say? I know threesomes happen, even in high school, but I never thought myself capable of being with two men at the same time. I need time to think this through.
I take a few steps back now that Nate isn’t behind me to impede my progress. “Jelly Bean, don’t look so scared. We would never hurt you.”
“I know that,” I snap back, feeling defensive for no good reason. And then a thought hits me and my body goes cold. I cock my head to the side and stare at them as if seeing them for the first time.
“Have you done this before?” My eyes bounce back and forth between them judging their reactions.
I don’t like what I see. I’ve never faulted any of them for having more experience than me. I’ve heard the stories and, although they make me want to puke, not once did I ever consider that they might share. I always assumed Nate and Dex were too possessive to go that route.
Jealousy unlike I’ve ever known crashes down on me, making every inhale of air I take painful. The guys are quiet for a moment, and that is all the answer I need. Sucking in a ragged breath, I turn and start for the door. All my elation over finding a lead is gone, and now I’m stuck feeling stupid.
My steps pick up despite the guys calling my name, begging me to stop and hear them out. I’m not rational enough to listen to anything they have to say. I want to rage against the world for all the unfair shit that keeps being thrown at me. I can’t catch a fucking break.
When I reach the door a hand lands heavily on my arm. I cease thinking and just react. Twirling around, I erupt in a state of fury, throwing out punches and nailing anything in my way. I don’t know how long I continue acting out, but by the time I’m done, I’m a sobbing blubbering mess.
Strong arms draw me in and hold me while I continue to unload my emotional baggage, releasing all my worries and sadness one tear at a time. When I finally pull away, a hot flush crawls down my cheeks. I’m cursed. It’s like I can’t help but humiliate myself when these two are around.
“Sorry about that,” I say pointing to the wet spot on the front of Dex’s shirt made from the ghastly number of tears I let out.
“Don’t do that,” Nate chides. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“Why don’t you sit back down so we can talk this through.” Dex’s eyes gleam with hope as he tries to steer me to the nearest seat. I might be calmer than before, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready for whatever is about to come spewing out of their mouths. Maybe after a drink or two, but not right now.
Before he can get my butt planted back in the seat, I’m heading back to the door. I would like to make it clear that I am not running away, but merely choosing another option. And I make this clear to them. “We can talk, but another time. I need a clear head for this and right now it is spinning, and my emotions are all over the place. Consider your kinky confessions delayed for another day.” With that said, I coolly walk out of the house and down the drive. My composure stays intact until I am out of sight, then my confidence crumbles, and I run home as fast as humanly possible.
Chapter Eleven
“How’s your tutoring going?”
I recall my last few sessions after school with the shy girl named Trinity that my teacher assigned to me, and I can honestly say that I don’t mind her. She’s quiet and introverted, but she knows her chemistry and talks about it in terms that make sense.
“It’s not as bad as I feared,” I answer, watching as Cammy steals a Twizzler from my backpack. I hate when she steals my candy. She never takes just one. I could complain, but it wouldn’t stop her. Not much comes between her and sugary sweets. Cammy is a dentist’s worst nightmare because she eats sugar likes it's going out of style and still has a healthy set of pearly white teeth.
“Are you sure you don’t mind driving me to work today?” I woke up this morning to a dead battery and didn’t want to ask the guys for help. It’s been two days since our kinky dance, and I don’t know how to face them. Jimmie was at the gym, which left me to call on Cammy for assistance.
“You did me a favor,” she laughs. “My mom is in a horrible mood today, and she wouldn’t let me leave her side without a good excuse. You being without a car was my ticket to freedom.”
“Glad to see that someone benefited from my dead battery,” I snort. “I’m hoping to get enough tips from parties today to pay for a new one. I priced them online, and they aren’t cheap.”
“Nothing ever is,” Cammy says. “Speaking of cheap, how is your brother doing?”
“Wow,” I laugh, giving her a side glance. “That was a low blow.”
“I’m sorry,” she says, her cheeks burning red. “I’m still upset over the whole ordeal. I promised not to bring you into the middle of it, so just ignore me and let’s talk about something different. How are things between you and Dex?”
We are not having that conversation. My head is screaming Abort, Abort! “Jimmie misses you,” I say instead. “I understand your reasonings for snubbing his apologies, and I support any decision you make one-hundred and ten percent.”
“But?” she prompts with a huff. Cammy takes the next turn a bit too fast, and I grip the emergency handle to keep from sliding into her lap. She really is a horrible driver. I’m grateful when she pulls into the parking lot of the ice skating rink and parks.
“No butt,” I reply. “I just wish you two would get past this. You don’t have to get back together or be best friends, but it would be nice if you two could be cordial, so we could all hang out together again.”
“Not all of us can forgive and forget as easily as you, Addy. Some of us need more than a few weeks to heal after being hurt.”
I blink in shock at her precise dig. That hurt. I rub on my chest surprised when I don’t find a knife sticking out. “That was mean.” I stare at her in amazement. She couldn’t have surprised me more if she told me the sun was made from cotton candy.
Cammy’s mouth hangs open. She looks just as stunned by her cruel words as I am. I stare out the window counting down the minutes until we arrive at the skating rink and I can get away from her. I don’t want to fight, but I can feel a storm brewing within me.
“Addy,” she begins. That is the only word she gets out before I am unleashing a war of words.
“You don’t get to judge me.” My voice isn’t loud, but it is stern, brooking no arguments about how mad I am. No one gets to decide who and when I forgive someone, except me. Dex has been a constant in my life since I was seven. I love him. Setting Lacey up to protect me was stupid, but his heart was in the right place.”
Cammy scoffed. “He cheated on you with that bitch.”
I grab my bag and prepare to get out of the car and as far away from this conversation as possible. I leave her with these parting words. “Dex took it too far, but he would never have slept with her,” I say, upset. “I don’t condone what he did, and it sure as hell hurts every time I think about it. Would I have done the same if the tables were turned? Without a doubt, yes. Holding him to a higher standard is wrong. Dex has and always will see the world in different shades of grey instead of just white and black. It’s who he is and why I love him.”
Trudging into work, I begin my routine of cleaning off the counters and making sure the skates are lined up and in their right cubby. I’ve got my headphones on, and I’m singing to the latest pop song, no longer dwelling on my argument with Cammy when I feel a not so gentle tap on my shoulder.
Twisting around I give Seth a small smile and pull my headphones off. “Hey, boss man, what’s up?�
� He hates it when I call him that, which is why I do it as often as possible. The look of horror on his face is priceless.
“We have a new employee,” he states dryly. She will be in charge of booking parties, but I thought it would be good for her to see what goes into them first hand. She will be shadowing you today. Don’t mess up.”
He walked back to his office, and like a good little foot soldier, I follow in his wake, curious to see who I will be working with. As I round the corner, the little hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. Leaning against Seth’s desk, as if she has the right to do as she pleases, is Lindsey McKnight, the co-captain of the cheerleading team and one of Lacey’s best friends.
Seth is speaking, but I barely hear him, my mind in a daze. I can’t take my eyes off her. A tense moment passes as we stand and size each other up. No good can come from us working together. It might sound petty, but I was here first. The skating rink is my safe place, which means the bitch has got to go.
“Seth, can I speak with you?” I’m proud of how authoritative my voice sounds. “In private,” I add when he doesn’t make a move to step outside the office.
With a displeased grunt, Seth ushers me from the room. He stops short just outside the door, not nearly far enough away to keep Lindsey from overhearing our conversation. I try and usher him further down the hall, but my annoyed boss doesn’t give a shit about my needs or wants. “You are wasting my time, Addison. Speak up and tell me what this nonsense is about.”
I clear my throat, afraid to ask for his help but know I have to try. “Lindsey and I have a bad history together,” I say knowing she can hear my every word. “She is part of that group that came after me. The girl has issues. Us working together isn’t a good idea. In fact, it’s probably the worst idea ever.”