by Swann, Rylee
They set all the goodies down on my kitchen counter, putting what needs to be refrigerated away then turn to me. Three pairs of serious eyes lock onto me. I fidget under their gaze.
“What’s up, ladies?” I’m surprised that no one has put the pizza in the oven or started slicing the cheese to go along with the assortment of crackers.
“Let’s sit, okay?” Heather says and ushers me to the kitchen table. Kelli and Rita follow, taking seats.
I slowly pull out my chair. “What’s this all about? You’re making me nervous.”
Kelli offers a comforting smile. “There’s nothing to worry about, Jae.” She turns to Rita. “Show her.”
Rita nods and pulls a rectangular-shaped box from her bag. When she holds it out to me and I see what it is, my heart skips a beat.
“What? I’m not pregnant,” I say, refusing to touch the home pregnancy test. Yet, deep down, I acknowledge it could be a possibility.
“Maybe not.” Heather pats my arm. “But haven’t you been complaining about your period not coming yet? That you’re late?”
“That’s not proof—” My heart is racing.
“No, of course not. Not by itself,” Heather continues. “But didn’t you also mention that food is not sitting in your stomach the past couple of mornings?”
The others murmur their agreement to this and I frown, biting my lower lip.
“I… umm… I guess so…” I feel like all the blood has drained from me. I must be white as a sheet.
Rita leans over and hugs me. “We think it’s better for you to find out now, rather than later, you know?”
“It doesn’t mean you are pregnant,” Kelli chimes in.
“But you ought to find out,” Heather says and the others nod their heads vigorously.
I sigh and grudgingly lift a shoulder but still don’t make a move for the box. Rita smiles gently, picks it up, and pulls me to my feet.
“You just have to pee on a stick, hun. We’ll be right here with you, no matter the results.” She puts the box into my reluctant hands and sets me on the path to the bathroom.
In the bathroom, I shut the door and look at myself in the mirror above the sink. I don’t recognize who I see peering back at me. The girl’s face in the mirror is pale with wide, haunted eyes.
I raise a hand to push back my hair to find it shaking. It’s not the stranger in the mirror who’s scared shitless, it’s me.
“Oh god, what if I’m pregnant?” I make eye contact with the stranger. “What if you’re pregnant.”
The stranger nods, wide eyes blinking.
Then her eyes get wider.
“What if I’m not?”
I’ve always wanted to be a mother. To have a baby. To nurture and love a piece of me that I send out into the world. To follow in my footsteps. To grow and explore and do a little better than I ever did.
“Not to be a single-parent mom.”
“Oh god,” the stranger in the mirror says.
Tears well in the stranger’s eyes and I look down, focusing on the test box. I know it’s time but I can’t seem to make my hand move.
I rush blindly from the bathroom and back to the living room. My friends stand and come to me, asking what’s wrong.
“I can’t do this!” I blurt and cover my face with my hands. The tears are cascading down my cheeks now. How embarrassing.
“Oh, honey, it’s alright,” one of them says as they lead me to the couch.
“Talk to us, Jae.”
I open my mouth to speak but all that comes out is blubbering. So I blubber. Once I get that out of the way and take a huge, shuddering breath, I’m ready to expel all my fears. Someone at some point has pressed a tissue into my hands. Wiping my face, I make a renewed effort to speak.
“Johnny’s going to break up with me.” There, I said it. Why don’t I feel any better?
I get a collective gasp in return from the three of them.
“That makes me so angry,” Kelli says. “If he breaks up with you because of a baby—”
“No, it’s not that.” I shake my head. “I’ve been reading the signs for a few days now.” I bark out a laugh. “I’ve been broken up with enough times to know.”
“Go take the test. One problem at a time, okay?” I nod to Heather, stand on shaking legs, and return to the bathroom.
The girl in the mirror bombards me right away. “I’m not married. What if I really am pregnant? What if Johnny doesn’t want a baby? What if he doesn’t want to marry me?”
Oh god… I sniffle and swallow back a second round of bawling. I don’t want to cry anymore.
“You shut up,” I tell her. “You’ll be just fine. You can handle this. You have good friends and family. They’re here for you… for me.”
The girl in the mirror nods with the beginnings of a smile.
A few minutes later, the pee stick sits on the coffee table while I try to ignore it for the required amount of time.
Rita distracts me with a story about one of the real estate agents that has us all laughing, even me.
“He ripped his pants at the crotch climbing in the window. Biggest deal of his life and he forgets the keys to the house, I kid you not!” She pauses to pop a pretzel in her mouth. “The couple is already at the front door waiting so he has no choice but to invite them in. They’re an older couple, originally from someplace Upstate.” She looks at each of us as if she’s onstage, she’s such a drama queen and I love her so. “Well, the wife gets one look at Rick’s tighty-whities and nearly faints! Her knees buckle and her husband has to hold her up.” Rita giggle-snorts and we all laugh harder. “I swear Rick has the ripped pants in his desk drawer!”
The dinggg of the timer causes a hush to fall over us.
“I can’t look!” I cover my eyes with one hand and make a grab for one of their hands, squeezing it in a death grip. “Someone tell me what it says!”
There’s scrambling and shuffling and I imagine my friends battling each other to be the first to the stick. Meanwhile, my heart is racing madly. I feel faint and might even throw up. This is the single most nerve-racking moment of my life. Straining for the slightest hint of what the stick might read, I finally lower my hand.
They’re all smiling broadly at me.
“Well, what is it, you goofballs? Tell me!”
Heather speaks first. “Jae, congratulations. It says you’re pregnant.”
I fall back into the couch, a whoosh of air flying out of my lungs. I can’t feel my fingertips, I’m so numb, and wonder if I heard her correctly, but realize a smile is forming on my face.
“Really?” The word comes out of my mouth more like a squeak than speech but they know what I said and nod in unison.
“But you have to take the test again, Jae. You gotta make sure it’s not a false positive.”
Terror staggers me and I reel with the possibility of a false positive.
No, don’t take this away from me.
“But I don’t have another pregnancy test,” I say, lowering my head.
“But I do,” Heather says and pulls one from her bag. “We thought ahead.” She smiles and hands it to me.
I nod slowly and stand, taking the now longer walk to the bathroom.
I want this baby.
I’m terrified of having this baby.
Please let me be pregnant.
Please let me be not pregnant.
Please, yes.
My mantra changes back and forth as I exit the bathroom with the peed-on stick.
Again, the result is positive.
I’m going to have a baby.
I’m going to have a baby.
Wow.
Thrill rockets through me.
My whole body is shaking from the inside out.
At the same time, I’m petrified.
And delighted.
“I’m going to be a mom!” I shout over the classic rock music that Kelli put on. She knows me so well.
“That’s right, you are!” Heather pops
up to dance.
“Damn straight!” Kelli claps her hands and joins Heather.
“You go, Jae!” Rita laughs and hugs me.
They’re really happy for me. It’s a wonderful moment.
I laugh as all three grab me and bring me into a circle to dance. We boogie, and I shake my moneymaker to the beat of the music, laughing. As the questions start, I close my eyes and let myself be bombarded with them.
“Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“Have you thought of names yet?”
“Want the name of my ob-gyn?”
“Stop, you lunatics! You’re all talking at once!” I say through tears of joy. “My brain is already spinning. I don’t have a single answer for you right now.”
We all laugh, and Rita grabs me in a tight hug. “Final question. When are you going to tell Johnny?”
She releases me and my happiness plummets, turning into a pit in my stomach. I shrug, still dancing but only going through the motions, waving my arms and moving my feet. All I can think about is telling Johnny the news.
How he’ll receive it.
How I haven’t heard from him in days.
How I’m sure he’ll break up with me.
Oh god.
CHAPTER FOUR
Gian
“Hey, got plans for tonight?”
I look up from the computer screen I’ve been staring into blindly—fucking hump of a Wednesday—to find Noah poking his head in my office doorway. He’s the marketing manager for Dominate Health’s fitness clothing line, while I’m the marketing manager for its packaged goods line.
Pulling myself out of the reverie about my parents, I put a smirk on my face. “Maybe. What’s up?”
Noah laughs. “Ass. Don’t wanna say you’re free until you know what I’m offering?”
I shrug, my smirk turning into a grin. I like the guy. He’s younger than me, in his late twenties, but is intelligent and can keep up with my banter.
“I remember the last time I did. Your house party, remember?”
Laughing harder, he comes all the way in, sitting in one of my two guest chairs. “I swear I didn’t know they’d call the cops on us. No one ever did before.”
“Yeah, yeah, new neighbors. I recall the lame excuse.” I lean forward, flicking my gaze to the open calendar on my desk. For the life of me, I can’t remember what I have for the rest of the afternoon. Nothing. Good. “What trouble you want to get me into this time?”
He raises his hands in a supplicating gesture. “Aww, c’mon, man. That all you think of me?” I just motion for him to get on with it. “Alright, alright. Me and a couple of the guys from shipping are going to The Lido Room if you wanna join us.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “That’s a classy strip club. You sure you’ll fit in there?”
He laughs. “No more than you would but we’re going anyway. Whaddaya say?”
“Yeah, I’m in. Been there once or twice. It has a cool vibe.” I run a hand through my dark hair, settling back into the executive chair.
“I like that there are no shows and just pretty, naked girls to talk to. We’ll Uber there. Meet us at the west side exit in an hour.” He stands and moves back to the door.
I check my phone for the time to find its only 3:00, and raise a brow.
Noah notices. “Yeah, yeah, we’re ditching a little early. Don’t go ratting us out to the boss, okay?” He winks, knowing I never would tell Dom.
I wad up a blank piece of notepaper and throw it at him. “Does that sound like me, ass?”
He ducks and laughs, leaving my office with a wave of his hand.
Less than two hours later, I enter The Lido Room with Noah and his buddies from the mailroom.
We take a table near where the girls give their lap dances and almost immediately we’re surrounded by some fine-looking ladies. The guys start chatting them up but one of them makes a beeline for me. She’s an adorable blonde-haired, blue-eyed, petite little thing. Inwardly, I sigh. Apparently, I now have a type since meeting Jae.
She’s wearing a G-string and a bra that barely covers her nipples and when she smiles up at me, my cock twitches. To be polite, I smile back at her and she takes that as an invitation to move closer. Until those barely covered nipples are almost touching my chest.
“Hi,” she announces in a loud voice, talking over the music, “I’m Candi with an i.” She laughs in a self-deprecating manner. “I know, what a cliché, right? But I swear that’s what my momma named me.”
I can’t help chuckling at this little spitfire. “I like it. Candi with an i suits you.” She beams at me and I continue, again, just to be polite. What a fucking lie. “I’m Johnny…” Of its own accord, my well-practiced seductive smile spreads across my face. “With a y.”
She bubbles over with laughter, taking a seat next to me. “Oh, you’re gorgeous, if you don’t mind me saying, and funny. Winner winner chicken dinner!” She waves to a waitress, who holds up a finger in the universal “just a minute” sign. “You don’t have a drink yet. Rosie will be right over. Did you come here straight from work?”
I nod, realizing I don’t need to do any of the seducing. She’s got that covered. “I did. Marketing manager, so gotta wear the monkey suit.”
“Sure, I get that. But, ya know, as far as I’m concerned you’re very overdressed for Lido.” Reaching up with her tiny hands, her nails red-lacquered but not too long, she grabs my unbuttoned jacket and pushes it back over my shoulders. “Let’s get you more comfortable, okay, Johnny?”
I help her by shrugging each shoulder out of the jacket and she pulls it from my arms like a pro. Rosie, the waitress, arrives at our table as Candi hangs my jacket on the back of my chair.
“So, what’ll you boys have?” Rosie smiles at me and the others, happy to accommodate what we want. Rosie is pretty and has a hot body too, but she’s simply not my type. We order bottled beers all around—very imaginative of us—and the scantily clad server heads back to the bar.
“Now, where were we?” Candi says as soon as we’re alone, my friends still very much occupied with ladies of their own. “Oh, yes, I remember.” She licks her lips, her blue eyes picking up the light in the center of the table. “I was making you more comfortable.”
Again she reaches out, this time tugging at my tie. She’s leaning over me now, her tits in my face, causing my cock to go on high alert, thinking it’s going to get some action soon. I shift in my seat as she draws the knot from my tie with painstaking care. She’s very good at foreplay but I have to put a stop to this.
“Thanks, but if you’re wrangling for a dance I don’t really think I’m into it right now.” My voice comes out rough and I swallow. “Not that I…”
“Oh no, I’d be happy to dance for you or have a conversation with you. I assure you, I’m good either way.” My tie finally undone, she pulls it off and drapes it around her slender shoulders. “If you change your mind, I’ll dance for you later.”
“Lap dance! Lap dance! Lap dance!” my friends are suddenly chanting.
I just laugh, shaking my head.
“Go on, Johnny! You know you wanna.” Noah hands Candi a one-hundred-dollar bill and motions to me. “Take him, sweetheart, and dance your ass off.”
She takes the money and looks to me with a raised eyebrow. Before I can answer or wave her off or I don’t know what, she’s taking my hand and pulling me to my feet. Fuck. What did I think would happen at a strip club, even a fancy one like this?
Candi expertly threads us around the tables and random groups of pretty people deep in conversation and leads me to a smaller back room that is sectioned off into semi-private rooms with partitions.
“I really do think you’re very handsome,” Candi says as she has me sit on a plush red loveseat.
“And I think you’re adorable but…”
She places a finger to my lips, silencing me. “No buts, not here, not now. We’re just going to have some harmless fun. I want to dance for you. It makes me happy to make
you happy.” She puts her hands on my knees and leans in close. “Oh, you smell nice too. What are you wearing?”
I swallow, hard. This girl is a firecracker with a string attached to my dick. I grapple for a change in subject, and wince when it comes out as awkward as I feel. “Are you in college? What are you studying?”
She smiles, going along with my switch in subject, but keeps her hands on my knees and moves them up my legs, almost to my crotch but not quite. She’s not allowed to touch and is already taking liberties as it is. “Microbiology. Believe it or not, I’m really a science geek.”
I’m impressed but she gives me no time to comment, turning her back to me and straddling my lap. She’s dancing now to the beat of the music.
Mesmerized, I watch her tight little ass swaying back and forth. She slowly lowers it until she’s almost but not quite sitting in my lap, swaying to the music so seductively that my arms ache to lift from where they’re lying on each side of me. My hands tremble with the desire to touch, to squeeze, to caress.
Turning her head, she gives an evil little seductive smile and dips her ass until she’s just barely touching my hard cock.
I suck in air between clenched teeth.
She’s toying with me now and my body’s responding whether I want to or not, my dick getting even harder. Her skin is flawless, her shoulders and arms nicely defined. She dips down a fraction lower and grazes my crotch with her ass, and I bite my lip to hold back a moan. I don’t want to encourage her.
At the same time, I want desperately for her to turn around, rip down my pants and ride me like a cowgirl.
“Do you like this?” she asks.
“Yes.” I can’t lie. That would be wrong.
Fuck.
This whole thing is wrong.
“What do you want, Johnny with a y? How can I please you?” Even her voice is sexy. She’s keeping it low, almost like a purr. She’s a cat I wouldn’t mind petting.
I say what I want without thinking about it. “Turn around. I want to see your eyes.”
“Mmm, that’s hot.” She rubs her ass against me once more—to my barely stifled moan—and stands from my lap. Dancing in slow, sultry moves she faces me, biting her lower lip in a pout. I’m coming undone and push my hands through my hair. “What else do you want?”