by Ellen Hutton
“It’s just eighteen hours honey. Don’t worry, we would be with Grandma in no time” I said, trying to cheer her up.
“I want to do something more exciting this year. This is going to be so boring” she said with a long face as she threw her bag into the truck and started to climb inside. Snowflake joined her inside. I quickly went back into the house to make sure everything was right; locked the doors and hopped into my vehicle. Here we come, Colorado.
**
The most direct path to Colorado would have been through Missouri and then through Kansas, but I always prefer taking the longer route which meant passing Arkansas along interstate through Oklahoma and then New Mexico. These kids just never understand that taking the back roads and seeing all the beautiful works of nature is a part of the overall adventure.
The drive started relatively smoothly, albeit quite slowly too. Snowflake had had his face out the window, taking in the breeze and putting his tongue out for anyone who cared to see. Lillian’s eyes were already near sleepy and I doubted she would be able to make stay awake for one more hour before she fell asleep.
My mind drifted to Stacy and how much I missed her. It had been over three years since she died now and I still missed her very much. I had tried to move on but it had not been easy. Being a school teacher, I rarely met new people. It just seemed like everything I did reminded me of Stacy. Stacy always sat beside me whenever we drove to Colorado. She loved to see the beauty of nature just like me. She practically loved everything that I did. I wafted into a world of my own as I remember how we met. It was when I had just gained admission into college. She was the very first person I had spoken to. It all seems like yesterday.
I have never been the shy one; never been the one to quiver and hide in his shell. I have never been afraid of plunging into the deep and letting myself get drowned by the ocean of uncertainty. Albeit stories I have heard, I always choose to be the judge of my own decisions.
I remember looking out from the car. I wanted to be experienced from experience, not just stories of experiences from the experienced. I ran my life the way I wanted, and then, all the restrictions that held me back were about to be broken... Ah! College at last! I had thought.
The wonderful wind of excitement blew on my face through the window and sent chills down my system. It was an uncanny feeling I had as thoughts of this new life engulfed my mind and boggled my reasoning. The drive was smooth as the waters of the silent ocean at night, and I could not stop myself from imagining all the beautiful experiences that I would have.
Who wouldn't be glad? Well, I certainly was not one of those who wouldn't be. I felt liberated in my soul… a defining spirit of strength... freedom; realization.
"Son, we are almost there." Father said as we took the final turning that led to the big gates of college. And then all of a sudden, there it was... College!
I took a sideward glance and found father alternating glances between the college gate and me. I saw many young adults, some with their parents, doing one thing or the other in the surroundings. The air smelled like strawberry and cheese cake. It was indeed pleasant, and I hoped that life afterward would be just as glorious. I needed a fresh start, and this was just the perfect opportunity for that; a chance to forget about the scary past and look toward a calmer future.
My father helped me move my things until he was not permitted to go in any further. I waved him goodbye. It was just me now. I was on my own... what I always wanted. But it felt different from what I expected it to feel like. I had thought that the feeling would be exhilarating and awesome --The feeling of liberation. But it was not as great because I immediately began to miss my home. My friends, my neighbors, and everybody I had been used to. I would have to make new friends, start a new life, learn new things, think differently and smile to new people. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad, I told myself. After all, it was what I wanted.
I slowly pushed the main door open and saw the wide hallway right in front of me. Its length seemed never to end. There were clusters of people in groups and some solitary, resting their backs on the walls. Some made phone calls; the others discussed and chatted between and among them. As I walked through the hallway, I was greeted by the stares and searching eyes of the world. Eyeball after eyeball perused through my being, assessing my features, dressing, facial make up and frame. There was a stairway right in front of me. I followed it up and saw a chart that gave directions to the departments. I found mine quickly and immediately waltzed off, facing the ground. I felt as though if I looked up, the menacing eyes of the crowd would swallow me up.
My own shyness had me discombobulated. It was hard to fathom why the stares of people would make me go frizzy. I felt scattered in my head, unsure of how to move my legs or swing my arms correctly. Luckily, I had a small single handed bag hanging from my shoulder, which supplemented my backpack. I just wanted to get to my department's hallway and find a locker for myself first. All I had to do was get the hell out of all these people glares. I hated being new.
My father had always told me that freshman year was the hardest. The proof was right there. I had a lot of getting used to; to do. Ah! Finally! The final corner to my department!
I speedily took a sharp turn into the corner, finally escaping the line of sight of everyone. Just as I took the second step, I bumped into someone, literally. Oh my God! Her books and pen came crashing down on the floor.
Each item appeared to move in slow motion and my hands also. I knelt on the hard ground, trying to catch the pen before it bounced away, but I was too slow, and it did bounce away and was about to hit the ground again when I saw her hand. She caught the pen. Great! I looked up at her face and she paid no mind to me as her hands went in a quest go gather her books. I helped with one and gave it to her with so many apologetic words that I never imagined I knew.
"I'm so sorry! I never meant to bump into you like that. I just saw you there. I was walking too fast. You must be so mad at me right now. I am so sorry. Please forgive me." I managed to say all at once.
"No no... It's my fault really. I wasn't looking at where I was going. I should be the one apologizing." She said, finally looking up at me after assisting me with my bag. I had dropped it too.
Just as I caught sight of her face, I lost track of how many times I repeated the sorry word. It was as if my brain was trying to automatically reconfigure its vocabulary into a single word system. Her face was very beautiful and I watched as her magical lips moved up and down as she talked in the softest and most gentle voice I had ever heard.
I was love struck or lust struck in an instant, and all I could do was smile and say sorry.
"You must be new here." She was already done with her apologies and had her books safely tucked between her arm and her body. Her body! And oh she had the brightest smile that glistened like snow in white Christmas.
"Yes Yes... I'm new. I’m a freshman" I said, laughing at my own joke. I had not been able to maintain eye contact with her since I looked at her the first time.
"I just knew I hadn't seen you before here. It would be difficult not to notice you if you had been in the school." She gave a slight smile, controlled and relaxed.
"Why? Sorry... I'm just curious. Never mind answering. I just..." I tried to speak, nervously, but he cut me short.
"You are too handsome to go unnoticed." She said without blinking, and she looked very serious. Oh my God was she hitting on me?
"Errm..." I could not remember the words thank you.
I guess we are in the same department. You can pimp, personalize or customize it anyhow you like. It's yours." She said.
"Thank you very much." I replied.
"No problem. I'll see you later. You would tell me how much progress you have made." She left without saying another word. Damn she was beautiful. And right then I knew that she had to be mine. She just had to be. And that was how I met Stacy; the woman who later became my wife. She is dead now, and I feel so alone in the world. I look at Lillia
n each day and see Stacy in her eyes. Lillian and my mother are all I have left in the world.
Chapter 2
Lillian was wide awake already as we stopped somewhere after Kansas and searched for a nice hotel to book for the night. I always enjoyed breaking this journey into two equal parts. Stacy and I used to play games while I drove and the winner gets to pick the hotel. This time, however, I know that I had to do it alone. Finally, we found a very good one and I booked one large suit for the three of us. It was the least that I could do for my daughter who preferred a more exciting time than spending Christmas in the country.
“At least it didn’t break down a thousand times before we got here” Lillian remarked as we settle in, referring to my old pick up van. I laughed hysterically and Snowflake also seems to be in on the fun as he began to bark mildly.
“So honey, what do you want to do once we get to Colorado? What do you have in mind?” I asked my daughter.
“What else is there to do? I would like to watch people do some hiking and maybe try it out myself this time. Can we go to a dog race? “Lillian asked, pointing those beautiful angelic little eyes at me.
“Do you want to see a dog race, buddy?” I asked Snowflake. He wagged his tail like he actually was very much involved in the conversation.
“He wants to see a dog race. We could see one after we are done with all the other boring stuff that you probably have lined up” Lillian said with a disgruntled voice.
“Cheer up honey. I promise you, Christmas this year is going to be fun” I said with a wide smile.
I walked up to the table in the room and picked one of the magazines. Lillian also picked one and jumps on the bed. She started to go through the pages of the fashion magazine in her hands and a smile finally rested on her face.
“I sure would love to be a model” I heard her say almost in a whisper.
“When you are done with school honey, you can think about that” I replied without looking up.
She didn’t say anything. She just continued flipping through the pages. I knew of her fascination with modeling, models and fashion photographers. She even knew a few of their names. I called mother to let her know that we had already passed Kansas and would be arriving at Colorado the next day.
**
It was a bright morning and quite a cold one too. Everything pointed to the fact that we were going to have a white Christmas. Although the snow didn’t really come as high as it did in the early months, Christmas this year sure looked like it would partake in a heavy chunk of the snow.
I cast a sideward glance at Lillian. She was wide awake and had her focus on the sides of the road. It seemed like everything was going pretty good until I start to hear a light sound coming from the engine of the truck. I ignored it at first, but then the van began to push forward and I was forced to find a good place to park and step out to go see what the problem was. I could feel the eyes of my daughter following my every step. She probably was thinking “Here we go”
I took up the hood of the van and immediately jumped back as thick steam filled everywhere, almost like smoke. I walk to the side of the vehicle and took a look at Lillian. She had a slight smirk on her face. Snowflake stuck his head out and tried to come out of the van. I helped him with the door and he jumped out. I knew that he could control himself. He was a good dog and wouldn’t cause any troubles on the road.
Once things had cooled down, I walked to the front of the car and poured some water into the water compartment and topped some other lubricating fluids. The van roared back to life when I stepped back in and we commenced our journey once more. It drove some more problems along the way, but I was able to handle most of it. Finally, we drive into Denver and I realized that in just about two hours, we would arrive at our destination. I stopped at a small pastry shop to get some hot doughnuts for us. I turned off the ignition and took slow and calculated strides into the shop and made my order. As I was about to step back out, I noticed another young beautiful woman walking into the shop.
I took a quick look at her and I could sense that something was wrong. However, since I didn’t know her, and I couldn’t wait to get home, I took my concentration back to where my truck was parked with my daughter and dog inside. But something was wrong. Lillian was standing outside the truck with Snowflake sitting near her legs. She seemed to have her gaze transfixed on me. I stopped and look at her before I noticed that she wasn’t really looking at me. She was looking at the closed door of the pastries shop.
“Are you okay?” I asked immediately I reached where she was.
“That was NatashaHarwood… NatashaHarwood” she said in an excited voice.
“Who?” I asked, looking back.
“She is NatashaHarwood” she said again.
“Who are you talking about, hone?” I asked my little daughter.
“That woman that just passed you… I recognize her from my fashion magazines. She is NatashaHarwood, a fashion photographer.” She said, sounding quite certain.
“Are you sure”
“Of course, dad” She said, still looking in the direction of the door. And just then, the woman stepped out again, carrying a small bag of doughnuts like the one I was holding.
“Oh my God, she really is NatashaHarwood” Lillian’s voice rang through the air.
I couldn’t stand it anymore and I knew that I just had to go talk to this woman that my daughter seemed to be so fascinated about. Maybe Lillian would be glad that we decided to take the back roads after all because she got a chanc3 to meet someone that she liked. I noticed that she was standing with her phone on her ear, making a phone call. She seemed upset about something. I still walked up to her anyway.
Getting nearer, I realized how truly beautiful she was. I had not looked at any other woman in this way since Stacy died. I noticed her pure and natural features. Her hair was dark and straight with a bit of curl in between. Her asymmetric face with all the right curves around the edges perfectly accentuated by her trim lips and pointed nose, made her look Brazilian but I could tell that she was not.
She finally dropped her call and turned to look at me. She forced a smile as her eyes met mine. I could easily tell that it was a fake one.
“NatashaHarwood?” I said immediately to prevent the awkwardness that threatened to ruin the moment.
“Yes, I’m sorry, do I know you?” She asked, still with that smile on her face. Even if it was forced, it was still very much beautiful. She sounded polite, yet rudely sophisticated and professional.
“No, actually, my daughter is the one who recognized you. She is fascinated with fashion and everything that has to do with it. She totally adores you and the moment she saw you, she was star struck.” I said and looked away but when I looked back at her, I discovered that she was already waving at Lillian who was also already waving back with a wide grin. And then she began to run towards us and Snowflake followed her. I noticed that NatashaHarwood stepped back a bit. She probably was scared of dogs.
“Oh don’t worry, he’s a good boy” I said immediately to calm her down.
“Hi little girl, what’s your name?” Natasha’s voice sounded absolutely angelic and her smile looked quite genuine now. She hardly had any wrinkles on her face or any sign of blemish. She is a perfect description of what an over pampered city girl is supposed to look like.
“Lillian… Star Riley” my daughter said with a wide grin on her face. I was definitely drawn to this pretty lady now. I could not believe how happy she made my little girl. They looked like they had absolutely known each other since Lillian was a little girl. If I didn’t know better, I would say Natasha was Lillian’s favorite aunt that she hadn’t seen in a while.
I continued to watch as the ladies talked and Natasha ended up signing an autograph for Lillian. Although I knew that Natasha wasn’t that much of a celebrity yet, my daughter saw her as someone she looked up to and that was enough for me. I hold Lillian’s hand as we walked back to the truck with Snowflake leading the way.
As I got into the driver’s side and turn on the ignition, I noticed that Natasha was still on the phone and that look of gloom and frustration had returned to her pretty face. I could sense that there was something wrong and so after I reversed the truck and turned toward the road, I turned off the engine once more and walked up to NatashaHarwood. This time, she caught my frame in her sight before I got to her.
“Do you need a lift or something?” I asked.
“Yes, I definitely do right now. But that depends on where you are going” she says. I can see the look of anticipation in her eyes; almost like she is silently prying that the next words that would escape my lips would definitely be the direction she is going.