She jarred, shocked by my sudden movement, and blinked up at me with those eyes that twisted me in two.
I loosened my hold, and my words quieted. “But just because I need you doesn’t mean I get to keep you.”
For a minute, I just got lost there. Looking at her.
Before I ripped myself away from her and turned all of my attention back to fixing dinner.
Guessed I might as well add foolish to that list of fucked-up qualities.
Because that was maybe the dumbest thing I could have given her. But for once, she deserved it.
A little bit of the truth.
She wasn’t looking at me as she fidgeted, those fingers moving out to fiddle with a dishtowel sitting on the counter. “I’m not sure how to move on from that night,” she admitted.
Sorrow had taken me whole when I looked over at her. “Which one?”
That was the crux of things. We had no way to move on. Both of us stuck, and I’d only made it worse.
Leaving her when she was sixteen and running back to her a year ago.
“Truce?” I mumbled, reiterating what she’d said.
Light laughter fell from under her breath. “Feels like a shaky one.”
I gave a tight nod. No question it was.
Shaky.
But she’d been my friend long before she’d been anything else.
So, I searched for some kind of lightness, the easy yet profound way we’d once been. “Probably. Just hold on to something when you move. One look at me, and you won’t be able to remain standing.”
It was all a tease with a tip of my lips.
She choked out a laugh. “Wow . . . someone really is full of himself.”
“Just keeping things real.”
Amusement danced across her pretty face.
So damned pretty.
Painfully pretty.
She was all smiles when she tipped the neck of her beer my direction. “To poor girls who can’t keep their heads on straight when they’re in your presence. May they forever see through the BS.”
I clinked my beer against hers and then lifted it in the air. “Believe me, baby, the outside looks way better than the inside.”
I let a little of the cold, hard truth sneak into my ribbing.
She took a sip of her beer before she tucked it up close to her chest as she stared at me, her voice close to a whisper. “I think you sell yourself short, Ollie. I’ve always been pretty fond of what’s on the inside.”
I tossed a tortilla onto the griddle I’d had heating with oil. It sizzled and hissed, and I focused on evening it out with the spatula.
“That’s an ugly place, Nikki. Believe me, you don’t want to get anywhere close to that. Not anymore.”
“What if I’ve just always wanted you for your body?”
Could feel her words take to the air, light and playful, the way we’d spent thirteen years. Acting like we didn’t really know each other.
Our interactions nothing more than a breezy tease when the wind that gusted beneath them threatened to be a dust storm.
She was all taunting smirks when I looked over at her.
Little Tease.
Probably the last thing I should do, but I went with it.
“Think I’m more than you can handle.”
A sexy twist of her lips had me stumbling. “Well, if that’s how you feel.”
She nodded, and a flash of sadness twined through her demeanor before she tipped her beer my direction. “Friends.”
I picked mine back up and clinked it to hers. “Friends.”
Problem was, having to remain friends with Nikki Walters was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.
A half hour later, the girl’s contagious laughter was bouncing against the walls.
She popped the last bit of her taco into her mouth, wiped her hands with her napkin, and rocked back on the high-backed stool. “You’re such a liar. That was totally your fault.”
My laughter was low, way too amused, barriers down that’d been there for so many years. I shook my head as I sopped up a few pieces of meat that’d fallen from my taco, glancing up at her with a grin when I did.
“My fault? Are you kiddin’ me? Every bad idea I ever had was because of you. Tying that rope to that tree included. I said it wasn’t gonna hold me . . . and what did you say?”
Guilt twitched all over her flirty mouth. “I don’t remember.”
A rumble of amusement rolled around in my chest. “Think it went something like, ‘Ollie thinks he’s the shit, but he’s really nothin’ but a chicken shit.’ On repeat, of course.”
“No.” Her head shook in vigorous denial, but she was doing her best not to bust up in outright confession. Indigo eyes full of old affection.
The same kind gripped at my chest. Claws wanting to take hold.
I shook it off and focused on being friends.
“Yes. You were always the instigator, whispering in my ear, making me think I wasn’t a man if I didn’t go through with whatever you’d concocted.”
I wiped my hands and tossed my napkin onto the table, slinging my arm over the stool back, grinning at her. “Took it on myself to prove to you just what kind of man I was.”
Mischief moved across her face, honeyed locks of hair swishing across her cheeks, those freckles so fuckin’ sweet.
Had the intense urge to lean out and lick them.
Taste her.
That mouth and those lips and every inch of smooth, soft skin.
“Hey, it isn’t my fault you thought you had to be such a badass. Sounds like a personal problem to me.”
“More like I had my own, personal troublemaker.”
“And look who I was trying to keep up with. If anyone was the troublemaker, it was you.”
“And look who I was trying to impress.”
A blush kissed across her chest, rising with the energy that danced. Slowly. Quietly. Though just as intense.
Her tone turned wistful. “At least Kale discovered his true calling that day. He got really serious about setting your ankle.”
“That shit hurt like hell, too,” I told her through a chuckle.
Memories hit me hard.
One after one.
Like they were so close, I could take a step and tumble into them.
They called them the good old days.
For us?
They really were.
She bit her lip. Nikki wasn’t shy. She was just real. “I really am sorry you broke your ankle.”
I didn’t know what I was thinking, but I reached out and let my fingertips trail the defined curve of her cheek.
She trembled, and for a moment, she leaned into my touch before she pulled away.
Like she was just then realizing she needed to stay away from me.
That I was dangerous.
I shook the heaviness off and climbed back into the tease, pretending I wasn’t treading choppy waters.
“Oh, sure you are. Who was it standing over me, laughing her ass off, holding her stomach, saying she wished she had a video camera so she could send it in to America’s Funniest Home Videos . . . thought you were gonna get rich off me.”
She tried to hold back a giggle. “Hey, I would have shared.”
Couldn’t keep my eyes from tracing her face.
Every inch.
I’d managed for so long.
Keeping her at a distance while still keeping her close.
It’s your fault.
I trusted you.
You were supposed to take care of her.
You promised, you’d take care of her.
Voices resonated from the cold valley planed out inside me.
I swallowed around the grief that thickened my throat, welcoming the reminder.
I couldn’t be trusted.
God, I knew I needed to get the fuck out of there, but there was something about being with her this way that made me want to stay.
Just for a little bit.
A few moments
of the relief she brought all heaped with a load of torment.
I angled my head toward the television. “You want to catch a show before I head downstairs?”
“Are you sure you have time?”
“Why not? Cece doesn’t mind running things.”
“You know she’s just waiting to oust you from your position, right?” she said as she slipped off the stool, her suggestion a bit of a tease, though I thought maybe there was a true question behind it.
“Nah, Cece might look like a viper, but she’s harmless.”
“Harmless?” She let out a little laugh. “She doesn’t look harmless to me. She basically looks like she could annihilate the bar in one fell swoop.”
I plopped onto the couch. “You jealous?”
Nikki dropped down on the opposite end with an incredulous shake of her head. “Of the fact she’s stunning and scary and basically can command the bar with a single look? Hell, yes.”
Cece oozed sex and radiated intimidation. Men flocked to the bar, salivating and begging for a bone. Her attention the prize, the woman had the power to drop the poor suckers right to their knees.
So maybe she wasn’t entirely harmless. She just didn’t pose any threat to me.
“I’ll be sure to tell her that,” I told her with a lift of my brow.
“Don’t you dare. Women like that eat girls like me for dinner.”
“I think you’re safe. As far as I know, she likes men.”
Disgust made her scowl. “Tell me you don’t know that because you’ve slept with her. She’s your employee. That’s just all kinds of wrong, Oliver Preston.”
She tried to make it come out as nonchalant, like she was giving a friend advice. But I heard the way the idea of it scraped from her throat. Hurting her.
Always, always hurting her.
I looked at her, hooking up a small smile. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, Nikki Walters. I don’t sleep with my employees. But you know Kale got a taste of that before he met Hope.”
Her eyes went wide with the scandal.
“No,” she wheezed.
Had no idea if I was breaking bro code by letting her in on that little bit, but somehow, I couldn’t make myself shut the hell up, needing this connection with her, hungry for it. Or maybe I was just trying to shift the attention from myself.
“Yup.”
“Freaking Kale . . . he’s lucky I love him so much.”
“Nah . . . he was just doing his thing . . . biding his time until the right girl came into his life.”
She blinked these wide blinks at that, that feeling pulsing at my chest, thrumming in the space between us. “So you really never slept with her?”
“No. Not even close.”
Her eyes narrowed for a beat, like she was searching me for the truth, before she relaxed against the arm of the couch and pulled her legs up so she could hug her knees. “Good. You’re forgiven. For now.”
This time, it was my brows riding high. “And just what are you forgiving me for?”
“Being a gorgeous, brainless, womanizing man.” She said it with a jut of her chin. Playful even though I could feel the undertone of severity. The two of us broaching a subject we’d never trusted ourselves to touch before.
An incredulous chuckle rolled out. “Womanizing, huh? Now who’s making assumptions about the other?”
Her amusement shifted and fell into something somber. “Oh, come on, Ollie. You don’t need to pretend for me. You think I don’t see those girls?”
Regret clamped down on my chest. I grabbed the remote and aimed it at the television that sat on the console, voice a little lower than it needed to be. “Those girls don’t mean anything.”
Her voice was softer. “Everyone means something, Ollie. Feels something. Whether you want to take it into account or not.”
This girl.
I turned up the volume. Like it might have the power to mute every mistake I’d ever made.
She was right.
Everyone mattered.
Her the most.
And I’d gone and treated her the same goddamned way I treated everyone else.
Needing a diversion, I flipped through some channels.
A grin took over when I found what I was looking for.
Could feel her amusement ripple from her spirit, the way her mouth twisted up as she attempted to keep herself from laughing. She stretched out her leg and gave me a little kick to the thigh.
“AFV? Are you kidding me?”
My eyes glided up her bare leg.
For a beat, my attention locked on the frayed, braided bracelet made of red thread she still wore around her ankle, the worn metal charm in the middle stamped with the words, “Fly.”
I had one to match hidden in my room, unable to bear wearing it.
Seeing it.
The third piece was missing forever.
My guts ached.
I shoved off the thoughts and let feigned innocence lift both my shoulders to my ears. “What? I thought it was your favorite show?”
“Stupid boys,” she muttered for what had to have been for the millionth time since I’d known her.
The thing about it?
It was the first time she’d said it in fourteen years.
I pretended I didn’t feel contentment go sinking all the way to my bones.
She shifted and groaned a little as she tried to get comfortable on my couch.
Totally should have ignored that sound, considering it spoke directly to my dick, but the question was sliding free before I could stop it. “What’s wrong?”
“Legs just get tired from running around the diner for nine hours a day. Feels good to lie down. This couch is Heaven. Seriously, Ollie, when I leave, I’m taking it with me. No need to report a robbery. You know where it’ll be.”
I let loose a fake gasp. “After all my kindness, you’d go and steal from me?”
She peeked over at me with a sweet grin that slid right through me. “For this couch? Absolutely.”
“Here.” Reaching out, I dragged both her feet onto my lap and angled to the side a bit so I was facing her better.
Such a bad, bad idea.
She was right.
Stupid boys.
So damned stupid when I took one of her feet into my hands and kneaded my fingers into her heel.
Nikki’s gasp was real.
Hitting the air like a motherfucking drug.
Just a moan from her tongue a spell.
For a moment, she hesitated. Clearly, the girl knew this was a bad idea, too. Because she stilled before she relented.
The anxiety firing through her body went lax, and she rolled onto her back to grant me better access.
She emitted another one of those groans.
Throatier this time.
“Don’t make me steal this couch and you, too. A girl could get used to this,” she murmured.
I had to suck for air because my lungs squeezed.
Constricted with a rush of lust.
Like a dumbass, I continued to massage her foot, my thumbs pressing deeper into her heel before I moved to the arch.
Wishing I was closer.
Needing more.
A sigh pulled from between those pink lips, and the air shifted.
Sizzled and lit.
That’d always been the problem with Nikki.
She was heat and light. A spark and a flame.
Sunshine.
I thought I just might lose my mind because I swore I could see that aura she wore gather between us.
Colors.
Reds and purples and blues.
They thrummed and lapped. It made it impossible to breathe.
I moved to the ball of her foot and then to her toes, which were tiny and somehow delicate, the nails short and painted the same shimmery pink color of her lips.
Did it make me a sick fucker that I wanted to suck one into my mouth? That I wanted to lick up her bare leg? Nibble at the inside of her thigh?
&
nbsp; She squirmed, and my breaths came harder.
Harsher.
While hers turned shallow.
She arched from the couch.
Need and pleasure.
I wondered if a girl could go off from a foot massage alone.
Because I thought maybe I could from giving one.
My cock strained painfully as I moved to her other foot.
“Ollie,” she whimpered. “That feels so good.”
Visions slammed me.
Clearly.
The girl bare.
Laid out under me.
An offering.
Nikki. Nikki. Nikki.
I dropped her foot like a rock and launched to my feet.
Erratically, my chest heaved as lust careened through my body. I roughed both my hands through my hair, trying to calm the fuck down.
Get myself together.
You can’t be trusted. You can’t be trusted.
Shocked out of the trace, Nikki shot up to sitting. Her eyes blazed as she stared across at me.
With desire and regret.
With the realization she should be protecting herself from me.
She clutched the couch like it was a life raft she was getting ready to get tossed from.
This was stupid.
So stupid.
“Need to get downstairs,” I told her, voice rough.
She nodded.
For the first time since I’d known this girl, no smart reply came from her mouth. I didn’t wait for her to form one.
I flew for the door.
My own life raft.
Because I was right.
This girl was a wave getting ready to take me under.
And I didn’t think she’d ever let me up for air.
11
Nikki
It was close to five p.m. when I bounded down the three flights of stairs and out the big metal door into the back-parking lot.
Humidity smacked me in the face, and I was hit with the overpowering scent of honeysuckle that wafted through the dense air.
I jogged across the lot to where I’d parked my car after Ollie had taken me back to my apartment to pick it up yesterday afternoon.
I knew I shouldn’t find comfort in staying with him. But I wouldn’t lie to myself.
I did.
I wouldn’t have been able to sleep last night had I been staying at my apartment, fearful Caleb might return.
Lead Me Home: A Fight for Me Stand-Alone Novel Page 8