***
She wasn’t saying much. Avery turned up at the front door half an hour ago. Dante was out which I was glad of as he’d been acting like a complete dick recently. It was just me and Brent in the house. He was in his basement flat though.
She sat on my bed, fiddling with the covers. She was never this quiet. I took a seat next to her and covered her hands with my own.
“What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” she whispered, not meeting my eyes.
“Ave…”
“Dad told me if I don’t apply to universities to do architecture, he won’t pay for any of it. I know I can get loans, but Mum looked so disappointed in me and it kills me. I want to study fine art. You know that.”
They’d been having this argument for months on end. Ever since Avery told them she wanted to pursue her art.
“I know. I’m sorry. I hoped they’d come around.”
She shook her head.
“They don’t accept it. I’m their heir. That’s all he seems to care about. Having me take over when he retires.”
I put my arms out to her. She folded herself into my embrace, resting her head on my shoulder.
“What would I do without you?” she whispered.
I hated seeing her suffer. Having parental expectations sucked. My circumstances were worsening now Dante seemed to be talking to Dad again. After everything that happened, I couldn’t believe him. It was like the abuse never occurred. And now I had to go work for my dad’s fashion house when I finished school. My aspirations weren’t valid apparently.
“I could say the same thing.”
Avery was family to me. My best friend and confidant. I thought the world of her.
She lifted her head from my shoulder. Her eyes roamed across my face. There was something in them I’d never seen before. Friends didn’t look at each other the way she was looking at me.
“I’m so lost. I need an anchor. Something to keep me afloat.”
She reached up and ran her fingers across my jaw.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to feel. I need something more than this dull ache in my chest.”
“But—”
I never got a chance to finish my sentence because she pressed her mouth against mine in a sudden movement which caught me completely off guard. Avery’s lips were on mine. Avery. The girl I thought of as my sister was kissing me.
I put my hands on her shoulders and gently moved her back.
“Seriously, what the hell are you doing?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level and even.
My heart thundered in my chest.
“I… I thought…”
“You’re like my sister, Ave, why would you kiss me?”
It felt wrong. Wrong to do this with her of all people. I wasn’t a virgin. I’d been with a girl before and kissed a few, but this was Avery for crying out loud. Avery whose hand I held on the first day of secondary school because she was scared. The girl I’d played rough and tumble with. The same girl I’d punched George fucking Delaney for because he’d spread shit about them sleeping together. The tosser deserved it. His older sister, Hannah, had always had a ridiculous crush on Dante.
“You’re the only person in this world I trust. Please, I need you, James. I love you.”
Those three words broke me. Loving someone didn’t mean you wanted to kiss them. I thought we had a platonic relationship with each other.
“I’m here for you, but not like that.”
“Don’t you think I’m attractive enough for you?”
“What the fuck? Avery, you’re stunning. Most of the boys in sixth form want to sleep with you, hell, I reckon most of the boys in school have a secret crush on you.”
It was true. She was beautiful, but that didn’t mean I wanted to have sex with her.
“Then what’s the problem?”
I couldn’t move. The problem? This was Avery. I cared about her far too much to allow a mistake like this to happen when she was clearly emotional and vulnerable. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t stop this?
She leant towards me again and this time I didn’t push her away. Everything screamed at me to tell her no, but the rational side of me who cared about the idiocy of this idea was drowned out by her hand falling on my crotch and the other curling around my neck.
It didn’t matter that she was like my family or that I shouldn’t want to have sex with my best friend.
My stupid teenage hormones raged out of control.
And I was lost knowing our friendship would never be the same again.
***
I shook myself out of the recollection of how she’d come onto me. How it felt to be with her intimately when all I’d ever felt for her before was a kinship. That night changed everything between us.
I ran a hand through my hair, before checking myself in the bathroom mirror above the sinks. Taking a minute to fix it again, I checked my phone. Almost seven. Time to leave.
My palms felt a little sweaty as I left the bathroom and walked along the hallway to the lifts. There wasn’t anyone on this floor at this time. Dante and the twins always left around five. I was the only one who ever worked late. It seemed better than going home to an empty flat with too many memories in it. It’d been on my mind for a while now. I needed to redecorate. Change the furniture at the very least. Anything to help me get over her. Finding somewhere new would be effort and besides, I liked my flat. It was the first place I’d called my own when I moved out of Dante’s at eighteen.
I pulled out my phone as I got in the lift and dialled a number.
“Hello James,” came Liora’s singsong Scottish voice. “Happy birthday.”
“Hey, thank you… listen, I have a favour to ask.”
“Go on.”
“I’m thinking of completely redoing the flat, furniture and all. Would you help me pick things out? And can you ask Dante if he minds giving up a weekend to help me repaint?”
Liora had an eye for that kind of thing.
“We’d love to. I’ll make sure he brings Brent.”
“What are you agreeing to?” I heard Dante’s voice in the background.
“To help your brother redecorate his flat.”
“When?”
“I don’t know but it doesn’t matter… Sorry, James, we’d be happy to help. Maybe we can talk about it when you’re here on Saturday.”
“Yeah, okay, thanks,” I replied. “Oh and tell Dante I’ll be late in tomorrow.”
“Going out tonight then?”
I walked out of the lift but stopped in the lobby so I could finish my conversation.
“Um yeah, just drinks.”
“Ooo, anyone special?”
“Liora, leave the poor boy alone,” Dante called. “He’s not seeing Cassie anymore.”
“Oh no, what happened?”
I wanted to put my head in my hands.
“It didn’t work out,” I said. “In answer to your question, it’s a friend, but they’re special.”
“A friend…”
“Yes, just a friend.”
That’s all we can be. I don’t think she wants more.
“Is this friend a girl?” she asked, her voice low.
I almost laughed.
“Yes, it’s new and no one you know. I’ll tell you about her on Saturday, okay?”
“Do Avery and Gert know?”
“Um, no… not yet.”
I wasn’t sure how to tell either of them about Ellie. Not least because whilst we’d agreed we were friends, I saw her in a different light. She was so fucking adorable with her smile and sky blue eyes. They were so expressive. She just had this way about her that drew you in.
“I’m the first to know?”
“Yeah… I have to go, she’s probably waiting for me.”
“Don’t let me keep you. See you Saturday.”
“Yeah, see you.”
&nb
sp; I hung up, stuffing my phone back in my pocket. I walked towards the front doors, waving at the security guard. I could see her waiting outside the doors. My heart pounded in my ears. She was holding something in her hands with a smile on her face as I opened the door and stepped out on the pavement. I almost stopped dead in my tracks. Ellie had a cupcake in her hands with a single lit candle in the centre. She didn’t need to do anything for me. Hell, we barely knew each other though we had revealed some of our darkest secrets. I suppose that gave us a connection not many others had so early on into a relationship.
Friendship, James. You know it can’t be more.
I wanted it to be. Something about Ellie spoke to me on a deeper level. I knew what her skin felt like against mine after she’d willingly touched me. Fuck, I needed to get a grip. Ellie didn’t need me having these sorts of feelings towards her. Not when she’d been through so much in her life.
“Happy birthday,” she said, holding it out to me as I got closer.
I took the cupcake from her hands, my skin prickling as my fingers brushed against hers.
Not helping!
“No one’s ever bought me a birthday cupcake before.”
“A birthday cake seemed a bit over the top.”
I grinned.
“Should I make a wish?”
She nodded. I blew the candle out.
I wish I could kiss you, Ellie.
“I hope it comes true.”
She really had no idea how much I wished it could. I wouldn’t cross the line with her though. Not after the colossal screw up with Cassie and all the blurred lines between Avery and me. I took my inappropriate feelings and shoved them in a box, hoping they’d stay there.
“Shall we?” I asked.
“Where are we going?”
I nodded towards the building behind me I’d just walked out of. Her eyes widened.
“I thought you said birthday cocktails.”
“I did, and there will be cocktails later.”
She eyed me warily as we walked into my offices. The security guard nodded at us as I walked Ellie over to the lifts. We got in and rode up to the fourth floor. It was where we had our samples stored. New ones had just come in recently and I wanted to show Ellie what we did here.
“Wow, this is amazing,” she said when we walked out of the lift.
It was a huge space which took up most of this floor. There was a mock runway of sorts in the middle, where the designers often showcased their new pieces. That wasn’t what I wanted to show her.
“This way.”
I led her through the racks until I reached the right one.
“So… I had an ulterior motive for inviting you out tonight.”
She raised her eyebrow.
“Oh?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d look like in this.”
I took a dress off the rail, careful not to get cupcake icing on it. It was this floaty chiffon number which matched her eyes. Sky blue. It would come down to her knees with a cinched in waist and tight bodice to perfectly highlight her curves.
I wasn’t sure what to make of her expression. The longer she stared at it, the more my palms began to sweat and my nerve endings prickled. The last thing I wanted was to make Ellie uncomfortable, but the urge to see her in this latest piece was almost unbearable.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, coming closer and touching the material.
“It’s not on the market yet.”
“Do you think about all your friends in your company’s designs?”
She was smiling up at me.
“Sometimes if I see the right piece. I’ve given Avery and my friend, Gertie, early access on a few occasions. I stole the centrepiece of a new collection for Avery’s first real date with Aiden a couple of years ago. I returned it before anyone noticed.”
“You did?”
I nodded, grinning. It had fit her so well. She’d been so nervous that night, but I knew there was no reason for her to worry. It’d been clear to me from the moment I first saw them together, he was completely enamoured with Avery. I hadn’t pushed her when she denied there was anything going on. I’d been too relieved she was back even though it concerned me she’d clearly developed feelings for him when she’d been vulnerable after her parents died. Her soft heart was always her weakness.
“Yeah, I mean she’s my best friend so I’d do anything for her.”
And I would, but I had to find my way back to where we were before everything happened between us. Had to learn how to love her in a purely platonic way again. To see her as my family like she’d always been before.
Ellie’s eyes clouded over for a split second before she smiled at me again. She obviously knew how I felt about Avery, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t feel that way about another person. About her.
What the hell am I even thinking? Keep your fucking shit straight, James. You know Ellie doesn’t feel that way towards you so just fucking quit it.
“Okay, so you don’t have to do this,” I continued, wanting to get off the subject of Avery. “I never want you to feel uncomfortable, but do you want to look through the rails and see if there’s anything you’d like?”
Her eyes widened.
“You serious?”
“Of course I am.”
She looked at the room for a moment.
“Aren’t these made for tiny models?”
I laughed, shaking my head.
“The older stuff is, but Dante and I decided we wanted Bensons to showcase clothes for regular women when we took over. All the sample sizes are for regular girls. Our inhouse designers supported the idea and the ones that didn’t, well, they don’t work here any longer.”
Ellie’s eyes lit up in a fucking adorable way. She moved away from me, eyes scanning the racks.
“That’s pretty amazing. Did your sisters agree?”
“Yeah, they understood. We’ve got a plus-size range in progress at the moment, but that’s very hush-hush.”
“My lips are sealed.”
I left her to look through the clothes and dragged an empty rail over. I set the sky blue dress on it and watched her. She pulled out a few pieces and tucked them under her arm. After ten minutes, she came over to me. She hadn’t picked much, but I honestly hadn’t expected her to. I took them from her and popped them on the small rail.
“Are you sure about this?” she asked as she followed me towards the lifts with the rail.
“I can have the ones you like made up in your size.”
“James… this is… why are you doing this?”
I looked down at her after we stepped in the lift and I hit the button for my floor.
“I told you, I want to treat you right. Consider it your birthday gift to me.”
“What? Letting you play dress up with me?”
I nodded. Her cheeks were bright red.
“Well, okay, if you insist,” she mumbled.
“You really don’t have to, Ellie. We can just go for cocktails like I promised.”
This is what I did for a living and I was proud of how far we’d come since we’d taken over Bensons. I guess I just wanted to show Ellie so she could understand me a little better. It did occur to me it might have been too soon considering this was only the fourth time we’d seen each other. I’d spent all week texting her. Every time my phone buzzed, I got a weird feeling in my chest when I saw it was her.
“It’s not that… I don’t know if it will cover my scars is all.”
It wasn’t like I’d forgotten she told me she had them. It’s more that I didn’t see her any differently because of it.
“You don’t have to show me or anything.”
The lift doors opened and we both walked out. I led her along to my office. No one was around so I didn’t bother shutting the door properly. On the desk, I’d left out a couple of glasses and a bottle of champagne which had
been chilling in the fridge in the staff room until everyone left. I put the cupcake she bought me down and picked up the bottle, popping the cork, which thankfully didn’t go flying. I handed Ellie a glass after I’d poured one for each of us.
“Is this the part where I wish you happy birthday again?” she asked.
I smiled, shaking my head. She didn’t need to do that. I watched her over the rim of the glass as I took a sip. She looked around the room with interest. All of our offices were full of various prints of models in Benson’s clothing, showcasing our brand. My office had white walls, a large window looking out over the city. There was a blue sofa in the corner along with my desk in the centre.
“You have a nice office,” she said, turning back to me.
“I spend far too many hours in here, so I kind of made it my home away from home.”
She put her glass down and looked around. She picked up the letter opener on my desk and eyed the cupcake.
“You want to share it?” I asked.
“Well, it is your birthday cupcake.”
“I say my birthday cupcake needs to be savoured by both of us.”
She giggled, the sound a fucking delight to my ears. Carefully she peeled away the wrapper from the sides, removed the candle and cut it in half.
“Oh… um… Hi,” came a voice from my doorway.
I looked over, finding Cassie standing there with a slight frown on her face.
“Hey… Cassie… Um, what are you doing here?”
Ellie looked between the both of us, still holding the letter opener which was covered in cupcake icing. She knew who Cassie was, but it didn’t make this any less awkward.
“I was dropping something on Mr Benson’s desk when I heard voices. I’m sorry, I’m interrupting.”
“No, it’s okay. Actually, can we have a word?”
She stared at Ellie for a moment before she met my eyes again.
“I guess so.”
She stepped back out into the hallway. I looked over at Ellie.
“I’ll only be a minute. Maybe you want to try that dress on.”
I pointed at the screen on the other side of the room. I kept a few spare clothes behind there on hand for the times I’d spent the night in the office rather than going home like a normal person.
Promises Page 7