Chapter Nine
James
Liora managed to corner me in the garden after Avery left to feed Afie. She did bring me another beer so I couldn’t complain too much.
“Time to spill, birthday boy,” she told me as she sat down and handed the bottle to me.
I took a sip, grinning at her.
“About what?”
“Your new friend. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell Dante and I won’t tell anyone else.”
I sighed, tugging at the label of the bottle. Where did I even start with Ellie? All my feelings were tangled up inside me. We’d got ridiculously drunk on Thursday night after she’d almost suffered a panic attack. I felt shit because I was pretty sure I’d caused it by asking if I could measure her. It honestly hadn’t crossed my mind that it might make her uncomfortable. It should’ve because I knew touching was an issue for her.
All I saw was her in that dress which moulded to her body. How it highlighted her slight hourglass figure and made me notice all of her curves and edges. And fuck was Ellie hot. Like unbearably hot. Even though I hated how I’d triggered a panic attack for her, I was also glad she hadn’t noticed how fucking hard I’d gotten just looking at her.
So fucking inappropriate!
The last thing she needed was me wanting to unzip that dress, peel it away from her body and kiss every inch of her skin. I wanted to see her scars because to me, they were a part of Ellie. I’d make sure she knew she was beautiful inside and out.
I had to stop this line of thinking since I was sitting next to my sister in law and it’d just be plain embarrassing if she realised. I sat forward, leaning my elbows on my legs to hide the stirring I was getting just thinking about Ellie in that way.
“What do you want to know?”
“How did you meet her? What’s her name? Why are you hiding her existence from your friends?”
“We met at your wedding, her name is Ellie and I don’t know how to tell them.”
“At my wedding…”
“Uhuh, she was the bartender.”
Liora had a little furrow in her brow as if she was trying to remember.
“You know, that day was a bit of a haze, but I think I remember her. Dark hair, right?”
“Yeah. Before you ask, no, there is nothing more going on, we’re just friends.”
I fucking wish we were more. So much more. I want her.
The urges inside me weren’t abating at all. If anything, they were growing worse. Every time I thought about her, desire flooded my veins. I tried not to think about this morning in the shower when I’d imagined her on her knees in front of me, her beautiful lips wrapped around my cock, doing exactly as I told her. And how it was just plain fucked up. I shouldn’t want Ellie like that, but I did. I really fucking did.
“What’s she like?”
“She’s smart, funny and has been through hell and back in her life, but she doesn’t let that get her down.”
“A bit like our family then.”
I nodded. Our joint family history was fucked up. It just made me grateful we were moving forward. That all of us were finding our way back to each other.
“Dante told me what happened with Cassie. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
I shrugged. I was the one at fault there, but Liora wasn’t looking at me like I was a dick. She’d seen enough darkness in the world to be a little more forgiving of other people’s shitty behaviour. She forgave Dante for his part in her being brought here after all. It worked out in the end. The two of them were perfect for each other.
“I feel shit, but she said it’s okay. Forgave me even though I don’t really deserve it.”
She put a hand on my arm.
“We all make mistakes. You just have to learn from them.”
“When you say stuff like that it still makes me wonder what you see in my brother. You’re far too good for him.”
She laughed, shoving me hard and shaking her head.
“You want to know the truth?”
“Hit me.”
She looked over at where Dante was standing with Aiden and Brent by the conservatory doors.
“I see someone who protected the ones he loved, sacrificing his own happiness in the process, and who needed someone to love and accept him for who he is without reservations or conditions because he deserves that much.”
She wiped away a stray tear which fell down her cheek. I put my arm around her and gave her a squeeze.
“Okay, so that was totally fucking sappy as shit, but I guess you’re right. He’s always been like that, super protective. He looked out for me, the twins and Avery when we were kids.”
Liora rolled her eyes and smiled.
“See, you do remember he can be nice when he wants to be.”
“Yes, when he wants to be.”
She shoved me again, causing me to almost topple off the bench.
“Hey, cut it out, you’re stronger than you look. You’re supposed to be nice to the birthday boy.”
“I will be when the birthday boy stops being mean about my husband.”
I grinned, giving her a wink.
“Baby brother, time for cake,” Jen shouted from the conservatory.
“Don’t tell me you let Fi and Jen bake it?”
“What? No, they would’ve burnt the kitchen down.”
We both stood up and followed the boys into the conservatory where they’d laid out the birthday cake on the table which Liora had baked for me. It was covered in white icing with ‘Happy Birthday James’ in swirly blue lettering on the top. Everyone piled around the table and started singing to me. And even though it was an amazing moment, I couldn’t help feeling as though someone was missing. Someone who was becoming a very important fixture in my life.
Ellie Kirkwood.
Before I blew the candles out, I snapped a picture of the cake and whilst Liora was cutting it up, I sent it to Ellie.
ME: Want me to save you a piece?
She was working today so I didn’t expect her to respond any time soon.
“Who you texting?”
I jumped at the sound of Avery’s voice.
“Uh, no one.”
She gave me a look and I knew she didn’t believe me.
“Since when are you so secretive?”
I shoved my phone back in my pocket and raised an eyebrow.
“Since when are you so worried about who I’m texting?”
“Dick.”
“Dozy mare.”
She leant her head on my shoulder, staring up at me with those brown eyes of hers.
“Go on, tell me… is it a secret crush? Have you been seeing someone without telling me?”
I shook her off and rolled my eyes.
“Uh, how about no and definitely not. Stop being so fucking nosey.”
She pouted. I wasn’t ready to tell Avery about Ellie. I don’t know why. She’d usually be the first person I told. And yet instead, I’d told my sister in law. I’d become close to Liora. She was like the glue which kept our family together. Always arranging for the five of us to spend time together. I’d asked her why she made the effort once. She told me she didn’t want Dante to lose his family all over again.
“Come on, James, I literally spend all day with Afie. I need some gossip.”
“Uh, not true, didn’t you tell me only last week that Tina babysat for two days so you and Aiden could, you know… have a fuckfest?”
Her face went bright red and she scowled.
“Keep your voice down.”
I looked around but no one was paying attention to us.
“Even if anyone was listening, we’re all aware of how much you two fuck, so just chill out.”
She slapped a hand over my mouth as she looked around the room.
“Shut up and stop being a dick.”
I laughed, not caring when her scowl deepened. Winding her up was my favourite sport. Avery was far too easy t
o tease. I ignored the feeling in my chest I always got when thinking about her and Aiden together. It was like a sharp stabbing pain.
“Are you giving my wife shit again?” Aiden asked as he sidled up next to her.
She removed her hand from my mouth and looked up at him.
“Always,” I replied, grinning.
He shook his head and dropped a kiss on the top of hers.
“If you don’t want him to be mean to you, then you need to stop hanging out with him.”
Avery scowled and batted him away.
“You can be quiet too,” she muttered.
“It’s her own fault for walking right into things,” I said.
“He’s right, you know. You do tend to do that,” Aiden replied.
“Oh my god, what is this? Gang up on Avery day?”
I gave her a smile.
“Isn’t that every day?”
“I’m going to get cake.”
She walked away towards the table. Aiden was shaking his head at her retreat.
“Thanks for that.”
“You’re welcome. Who did you pawn Afie off onto?”
He pointed over at where the twins were cooing over his daughter.
“Oh great, next I’m going to find out my sisters are poking holes in condoms in an effort to get pregnant.”
“They practically ripped Afie out of my arms after Avery gave her to me.”
“Sounds like Jen and Fi. Just don’t leave Afie with them for too long, you wouldn’t want her going missing.”
My sisters were royal pains in the arse. Their propensity to get into mischief was impressive but also incredibly annoying.
“I never know if you’re joking or not.”
“When it comes to my sisters, I never joke.”
He eyed me for a moment before slipping away towards the twins with a concerned look on his face. I shook my head whilst my brother joined me, handing me a plate with a large slice of cake on it.
“Um, can I ask why your wife decided to bake me a rainbow cake?”
“Fuck knows,” Dante replied. “Liora is a law unto herself.”
“Tell me about it, she told me if I was late to my own birthday party, she’d lock all the booze away.”
He laughed as I dug into the cake. She hadn’t quite put it like that, but she might as well have. I was never late for anything so she needn’t have worried.
“So, did you clear things up with Cassie yet?”
I swallowed the piece of cake I was chewing and turned to him. He’d been asking me for weeks so I wasn’t entirely surprised by the question.
“Yes, you don’t have to worry about it. We can be civil.”
“Good, don’t fuck any more of our employees,” he told me, slapping me on the back before he walked off. There was no way in hell I was going to repeat that mistake.
Left alone again, my thoughts started to wander as I sat down at the table with my plate of cake. It had only been just over a day since I’d seen her and yet all I could think about was Ellie in that dress. Ellie almost snorting tequila out of her nose because I’d made her laugh whilst she was taking a shot. Ellie smiling at me with amusement in those sky blue eyes which drowned me every time I looked into them.
Fuck. I’m totally fucked.
I was running into incredibly dangerous territory here. I didn’t need another fucking infatuation with a girl who was my friend. Especially not one who I kept picturing naked every five minutes. Naked. Limbs tangled together. My name on her lips as her body quaked and trembled below me.
I shifted in my seat, uncomfortably aware of my body’s reaction to my incredibly inappropriate thoughts. This didn’t make any sense to me. I’d never fantasised about a girl in the way I did with Ellie. Never thought about all the ways I wanted to touch her, taste her, fuck her. Ellie deserved to have someone show her what real pleasure was like. I knew she hadn’t experienced that. I could tell from what she’d said about her life and it made me fucking sad. A girl like Ellie deserved everything. I wanted to be the one who gave that to her. To kiss away her pain and replace it with bliss. I wanted her consumed with it. Consumed by me to the point where she’d do anything I said.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, making me take a steadying breath before I pulled it out.
ELLIE: That looks amazing! I’m so jealous.
ME: It has rainbow layers. Liora made it.
ELLIE: Are you having a nice time? I’m just on my break.
ME: Yeah. Watching Aiden try to wrestle his baby back from my sisters is amusing.
I wasn’t lying. He was still talking to Jen and Fi, his eyes darting to his daughter as if she was in immediate danger. I almost felt bad I’d warned him about the twins, but honestly, I didn’t trust those two.
ELLIE: Poor guy.
ME: Avery’s rescuing him as we speak.
ELLIE: Were you serious about saving me a slice?
ME: I don’t joke about cake. Cake is life.
ELLIE: I finish at six…
Did she want to see me? I wasn’t in any state to drive. Maybe I could get an Uber. Getting on the tube with cake would be annoying. Also, leaving my birthday party early would arouse suspicions. I wondered if I could get away with it.
ME: I can be there if you want me to…
ELLIE: You can’t skip out on your birthday party for me.
“Am I going to have to surgically remove that phone from your hand?”
I looked up, finding Avery and Gertie standing next to me with joint raised eyebrows.
“Yeah, come join in the party and stop being a loser,” Gertie added.
I wanted to reply to Ellie, but the look in both their eyes had me standing up and tucking my phone back in my pocket.
“You two are fucking bossy,” I told them as I walked with them to where everyone else seemed to have congregated.
“Birthday boys can’t be sulking in the corner like pussies.”
“Who are you calling a pussy? I don’t remember being part of the vagina club.”
Gertie raised an eyebrow at me.
“You might as well be considering how much time you spend with women and yet you still can’t hold one down. Even I managed that.”
“Wow, someone put her bitchy knickers on today.”
She flicked my ear. I batted her hand away, rubbing the side of my head and scowling.
“You two are like children,” Avery said, rolling her eyes.
“Mum is trying to keep us in line, Gertie. Should we behave for her?”
The look on Avery’s face said it all. She was not in the least bit amused by the two of us. Gertie stuck her tongue out.
“Oh look, it’s the terrible trio bickering again,” Dante put in as we joined the rest of them.
I grinned. It was true. We had a tendency to do this when the three of us were together. Gertie and I always wound each other up and Avery told us off for it. It wasn’t any surprise she’d become a parent first given how much she had to bring the two of us to order. It’s why I’d known she’d be perfect with Afie.
I noted Aiden had their baby back, although the twins were still eying him like he was a meal they could eat. Honestly, did all the women in my life have a huge crush on him? Even after all this time, Gertie still said inappropriate as fuck shit to him which pissed Avery off no end. I wondered how Tillie put up with it considering her girlfriend was lusting after a bloke. I mean, Gertie was bi, but I still didn’t think Tillie appreciated the whole ‘I’d totally bang your husband’ shit she pulled with Avery.
Even though I knew Aiden now, he was still pretty fucking intimidating. I could understand what women saw in him. The ripped body and tattoos, all of that was like a recipe for making their panties melt. I just wished not every woman I knew wanted to mount him.
Every woman except Ellie. She hadn’t seemed remotely interested in Aiden. I doubted Ellie looked at guys in that way after what she’d been through. I wa
nted her to look at me like that though. It was ridiculous to be wishing these things.
Get your fucking head on straight, James. This needs to stop.
I couldn’t though. Couldn’t stop thinking about Ellie. What was it about this girl? I’d only seen her a few times. She’d got under my skin. I wanted to know everything about her. Needed to. All her experiences no matter how harrowing they were. What made her tick.
“Hey, earth to James, what’s with you today?” Avery’s voice brought me back to the present.
“Um, sorry, what did you say?”
“We asked if you wanted to open your presents now.”
“Oh, sure… can do.”
Avery gave me a funny look. Of course, it meant she knew I was hiding something from her. She always fucking knew. It was a miracle I’d managed to hide how I felt about her. It was easy remembering she was married so it hadn’t been the biggest issue before. It was only Dante’s wedding which had brought up all those unwanted feelings. Creating a void inside me I was hard pressed to fill.
I knew I couldn’t keep Avery in the dark forever. At some point, she was going to corner me and make me spill. Maybe when I’d got a handle on these feelings I had for Ellie, I’d tell Avery. I was so fucking confused right now. Everything was a mess. I’d already fucked it up with Cassie. I couldn’t do that with Ellie. She deserved better. And if I was ever going to get the chance to be anything more with her, I really had to sort my shit out.
Could Cassie have been right though? Did Ellie want us to be more than just friends? How would I even know if it was okay to make a move on her? After she’d freaked out on Thursday, I wasn’t sure if trying anything with her would result in it happening again.
I wanted to smack my head against the wall. Taking all those thoughts, I shoved them back in the box they belonged in. It was time to actually be present at the birthday party Liora had organised for me.
I just have to pay more attention to the way Ellie behaves around me. Perhaps then I’ll know if she likes me as more than just a friend.
Chapter Ten
Ellie
Today’s shift was dragging. Every day seemed to when I was waiting for my next meet up with James. I had a few night shifts coming up so it was unlikely I’d see him until those were over unless he wanted to see me over the weekend. If I wasn’t worried about seeming too over eager, I would’ve asked him. That was just plain stupid. We were friends. Friends asked when each other was free without anyone reading into it.
Promises Page 9