"What's wrong?" Gideon glanced at her as he dragged her forward. "You went pale all of the sudden."
"I think there's a woman following us," she said. "I saw her in the bar when we first met and then at the pizza parlor. Now she's here too."
To this, Gideon said nothing. He knew she was following us, Nora thought, noticing his guarded expression.
"Gideon…" She glared at him.
"Yeah?" He sighed.
"I can tell you know her. Who is she?" she said. "Is she someone you've slept with who's obsessed with you or something?"
"Me sleep with Kali?" Gideon looked disgusted. "No, I can't stand her."
He can't stand a woman who looks like Athena?
"So who is she?" She wanted to throttle him for being so secretive. Just when she thought she knew everything about him, he became somebody she didn't recognize.
It was their turn in line and Gideon walked up to the girl at the register.
"What do you want, Nora?" he asked.
"Gideon!" She didn't care about ice cream right now.
"I'll tell you about Kali," he said out of the corner of his mouth. "Just not when we're surrounding by all of these people."
"Chocolate," she spat out. "Soft serve."
"Okay." Gideon nodded and turned back toward the girl. "Two chocolate ice creams."
As the girl stammered a reply, Nora sought out the blonde again. Unfortunately, she was gone. Where did she go? Nora wondered, searching the crowd. Even on a busy day like this, the woman should stick out like a sore thumb. After all, Kali looked like she'd strutted out of a clothing advertisement. Even the beautiful women she'd seen on the beach couldn't compare.
While she searched for Kali, Gideon handed her a huge chocolate ice cream. She snatched it from him, shooting him a glare. As he led her over to a bench, she gave the ice cream a defiant lick, barely tasting it.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Kali." Gideon stared straight ahead.
"Mmm-hmm." She scowled at him, waiting for an explanation.
"I wanted to tell you, but this sort of thing isn't easy to say," he said.
"Try me," she said.
"I can't tell you everything right now," he said. "There are too many people around who might overhear."
She didn't like waiting, but she could see Gideon's point. Between his good looks and their arguing, they were the center of attention.
"Fine." She gave a begrudging nod. "Just tell me all you can about her."
"Well, do you remember how after the fire I was trying to tell you something but you stopped me?" he asked.
For a moment she was silent, searching her memories. She remembered how Gideon had looked pained after telling her he loved her and then said, "I think I need to say something else. Nora, I'm a…I'm a…" At the time, his love profession had been the most important thing, so she'd stopped him for the sake of preserving the moment. Now she wished she'd let him finish speaking. She glanced at Gideon, her expression wary, and saw that his ice cream was melting all over his fingers and he hadn't even noticed.
"I remember," she said.
"Well, Kali and I both share the same secret," he said.
"Wow, that's informative." She was tempted to dump her ice cream in his lap.
"I'm sorry." Gideon shot her an apologetic smile. "For now, I'll just say that she works with Amon and it's her job to keep an eye on me."
"What?" She leapt to her feet, her ice cream slipping from her fingers. It splattered on the pavement, but she didn't care.
Gideon stood up too, dropping his ice cream on the ground right beside hers.
"She can't hurt you," Gideon said. "Not as long as I'm here."
"You never said Amon had people working for him." She couldn't even feel her legs anymore.
"He has a few helpers," Gideon said. "But I promise I can protect you."
"How?" she asked. "You're one man."
"I'm not…" he began, then stopped.
"You're not, what?" She trembled as she faced him.
His face hardened.
"I can stop him," he said, ignoring her most recent question. "I won't let him get to you. And his underlings are no match for me. They know it, which is why they won't come near us as long as I'm around. Don't be scared."
"That's easy for you to say," she said.
She wanted to hide somewhere, but she couldn't. Instead she gazed at the water, trying to fight down the bile that threatened to burst from her lips. Is Amon in the mafia or a gang? And what's Gideon's big secret? She groaned, wondering if Gideon would fail to protect her after all.
"We should call the police," she said.
"The police can't help us." He laid a hand on her shoulder. "They're no match for Amon."
"But you are?" she said.
"Yes." He squeezed her shoulder so hard it ached. "You love me, don't you?"
"Of course I do," she said without hesitation.
"Then trust me," he said.
For a moment she didn't say anything. She'd already confided in Gideon more than anyone else. On top of that, she'd given him her heart. If she couldn't trust him to protect her, then she couldn't trust anyone.
"Okay," she finally said, even though it was difficult.
As she stared at the ground, trying hard to get her thoughts in order, Gideon grabbed her chin and steered her face toward his.
"Look at me," he said.
She gulped and looked straight into his face.
In that split second, something changed. His caramel eyes became dark, darker than even Kali's. The right side of his face was being devoured by squirming maggots. He wasn't wearing any clothes and his golden skin was dripping with blood. Flies swarmed around his form, drinking his sweat. Even a putrid stench hung around him like a thick coat, making her eyes water.
"Save him," a man shouted in her mind.
She was so alarmed that she backed up straight into the cement bench. One second she was reversing at high-speed, the next she was hurtling toward the ground for the second time that day. And there wasn't going to be soft sand to break her fall. She squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for impact, when she felt warm arms envelope her, stopping her from falling. After her eyes snapped open, she stared straight into Gideon's face.
His injuries were gone.
She gasped in shock, not even caring that the only thing stopping her from hitting the cement was Gideon's powerful arms. She ran her fingers along his cheek. There were no maggots, no sores. She searched his eyes, grateful to see no agony in them either. No, all she saw was poignant concern for her wellbeing. And he had a good reason to be worried. She'd almost cracked her head against the cement.
As she trembled, Gideon lifted her up so she was standing on her own two feet. Unfortunately, the moment he released her, she almost tumbled to the ground again. He seized her before she could fall and held her close, keeping her from injuring herself. When he embraced her, she didn't endure unquenchable need due to his muscular body like she usually did. All she felt was terror stronger than she'd ever known before.
"What happened?" Gideon asked, stroking her back.
"Your face," she stammered. "Something happened to your face."
"My face?" He clapped a hand to his cheek.
"You're fine now," she said. "But these bugs were all over you and you were bleeding. There was even a man talking to me in my head. He asked me to save you."
At that moment she realized how insane she sounded. She was babbling about a voice in her head. There was no way she could expect him to believe what she'd heard was real. She shuddered against Gideon, unable to control herself. Everything hurt—her mind, her heart, her soul. She couldn't believe that just hours ago she'd been rolling around in the sand with Gideon as if everything was fine.
Am I turning out just like my mom? Is this what she went through?
The thought was enough to make her knees turn to liquid again. Once her mom had been struck by mental illness, the disease had continued to worse
n. Would the same thing happen to her? Nora gasped and wobbled, making Gideon clutch her so tight that her ribs ached. She didn't want to be like her mom. Not now, not ever. She'd always vowed she'd never walk in her footsteps.
"Why is this happening to me?" she asked. "I think I'm going insane on top of everything else."
To Gideon's credit, he didn't as much as hesitate.
"You aren't going insane," he said firmly.
"I'm not?" It sure felt like she was.
"You've just experienced a shock, that's all," he said. "Kali must have startled you so much that your brain went haywire. Everything's fine."
"You really think so?" she asked.
"Yes," Gideon said.
But the man didn't meet her eyes.
****
Hours passed and night fell, but Nora still didn't feel better. She sat across from Gideon in the middle of a beachside diner, stirring her third cup of coffee with a spoon. Her emotions warred in her mind, vying for a dominant position. She was terrified, depressed, nervous, and angry all at once. The negative emotions melded together, forming a putrid soup that scalded her heart. She longed to feel numb, but unfortunately, she couldn't control her feelings nor shoo them away.
"Are you feeling any better?" Gideon reached across the table and laid his hand on hers.
"Not much," she said, even as she accepted his hand.
"Give it time." He squeezed her fingers, his eyes sad.
"It's time that I'm scared of," she said.
"Really?" Gideon examined her. "Why?"
She chewed her bottom lip, half wishing she hadn't said anything.
"Come on, Nora," Gideon urged. "It's me. You know you can trust me."
Sighing, she nodded.
"Right now I'm here with you," she said. "But what about tomorrow? What if Amon hurts you? What if everything falls apart? People keep saying that time makes things easier, but that wasn't the case with my mom. Every day that passed she went steadily crazier. Who knows what's going to happen to us? To you? I hate not knowing and wondering what's going to happen next."
"I notice you seem to be more concerned about me than you," Gideon said.
"Is that really so surprising?" She raised an eyebrow.
"I suppose." Gideon shrugged. "I've found that people look after themselves first."
For a moment she just watched him, noting the seriousness of his expression.
"I guess it depends on the person, but if I love somebody—really love somebody—then I'll always think about them first," she said. "I'd rather suffer myself than have the person I care about be in pain. To me, that's what real love is. It's about caring for somebody so much that you're willing to put their needs above your own. I think that's why hallucinating that you were hurt rattled me even more than Kali did. You were the one who was hurt, not me. I couldn't handle looking at your face and seeing pain in your eyes."
"Then we must really be in love with each other." His eyes burned as he gazed at her. "I'd rather be tortured for all eternity than let something happen to you."
Black feathers appeared out of nowhere and covered the table.
"Darn it all, it's those feathers again!" She slammed her hand on the table and stared at the ceiling. "Please tell me that I'm not imagining this too."
Gideon winced and stood up.
"I think we should go home now," he said. "I've been putting it off, but I think it's time to have our talk."
"Why are you so scared to talk to me anyway?" She noted his face was already pale.
"I'm worried that after tonight you aren't going to love me anymore," he said so quietly that she almost didn't hear him.
Her palms became clammy at the sight of his depressed face. She longed to comfort him, even though she was just as terrified by his expression as she was saddened by it.
"I don't think it's possible for me not love you," she said. "Once I love somebody, I love them for good."
Even though she said the words, Gideon gave her a sad smile.
"We'll see." He shrugged and tossed money on the table.
The two of them headed outside hand in hand. Darkness cloaked the beach, making Nora quiver. After everything that had happened today, she wasn't sure she was ready to walk at night. As she ducked her head, Gideon wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer and protecting her. As she walked at his side, her fears lessened and she found herself breathing normally again. Gideon wasn't a giant, but being with him made her feel safe and secure. She realized that this was yet another reason why she longed to be with him forever.
As she wrapped her arm around his waist, Gideon looked up at the sky and pointed.
"I think this is the first time in ages I've seen the stars," he said.
Normally the smog that came from the city made it impossible to see anything. Shocked, she looked up. Sure enough, hundreds of stars twinkled above her, giving light to an otherwise bleak and frightening world. Even she found herself smiling.
"Since it's such a rare occasion to see the stars, I think we should make a wish," Gideon said.
"I agree." Who knew when she'd have the chance again?
"You go first," he said.
Nodding, she focused on a star and thought, I wish that Amon will go away and everything will be fine. She glanced at Gideon expectantly.
"I'm done," she said.
"What did you wish for?" he asked.
"If I tell you, it won't come true." She frowned at him.
"Ah, that's no fun," he said. "I'm going to tell you what I wish for."
"I don't want to know." She released him and clamped her hands over her ears, singing, "La, la, la."
"Oh no, you don't." Laughing, he pried her hands away from her ears.
"I don't want to hear your wish," she said, even as she smiled.
"You do too." He forced her arms down to her sides.
"No, I don't." She shook her head.
"Yes, you do." He tightened his grip on her wrists. "I wish that I can protect you always. That's what I want."
The words made her blink. She'd thought he'd say something inappropriate, but the man had shocked her by saying something heartwarming instead. When she came to a stop, Gideon paused right alongside her. She rested her hands on his shoulders, grateful that it was dark so he couldn't see her blush.
"Is that really your wish?" she asked.
"Of course." He placed his hands on her hips.
For some reason she thought she might cry. She knew it was ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. She ran her thumb along Gideon's neck, feeling his warm skin against her finger. The man was real and all hers.
"How did I get lucky enough to land you?" she asked.
"Lucky?" He studied her. "I think you're unlucky. I've brought you nothing but pain since I arrived. First I hassled you, then Amon showed up."
"Are you kidding?" She shook her head. "No matter how scared I am right now, I'm glad you came into my life. I know how crazy it sounds, but I never realized how lonely I was until I met you. On top of that, I feel like I never knew who I really was until you arrived. I hid parts of myself because of my mom, but you pried open the gates to my heart. You may annoy me—"
"Hey," Gideon said grumpily.
"—but you're still the most amazing man I've ever met." She glanced at his lips. "I should thank you for waking up a part of me that I didn't even know existed."
"I owe you a thank you as well." His eyes were bright, brighter than even the most luminescent star in the sky.
"You do?" she asked.
"Yes." Gideon nodded. "I've spent years feeling so angry that I couldn't even recall what love felt like. I was miserable and all alone, yet I was always so convinced of my own self-righteousness. Then one day you waltzed into my life. Because of you, I started to remember so many good things—kindness, hope, faith, forgiveness. You even showed mercy toward a woman who you had a big reason to hate. Somewhere along the way, you made me remember how to love again. I owe you a big thank you
for that. It's a horrible thing, forgetting all the good things in the world, especially love."
"I just hope you won't forget again." She traced his chin, enjoying the feeling of his facial hair against her fingertip.
"As long as you're around, I won't," he said.
She gazed into his face and the yearning returned.
Before she could tell him how much she wanted him, Gideon scooped her up. She wasn't sure what made her do it—maybe it was frenzied passion or just instinct—but she found herself wrapping her legs around him, drawing him closer. He walked over to the sand and laid her down just as he had earlier that day. This time, though, there were no onlookers. It was just her and him. His lips worked over hers, making her squirm on the sand. For the first time, she opened her eyes as he kissed her, enjoying watching the stars that glistened in the sky as his fingers snuck under her shirt.
I feel like I'm in heaven, she thought, hearing the distant sound of the lake lapping against the shore.
As Gideon kissed her, she tried to inhale his sweet breath. She wanted to know Gideon inside and out. If it was possible, she would have crawled inside of his soul just to know every inch of him. Desperate to have him closer, she wrapped her legs around him once more as she ran her hand along the side of his face. Somehow she kept expecting to feel an injury, even though there was none. She was so grateful to see him unmarred that she sighed, causing Gideon to pull away.
"I love you," Gideon said, pressing a firm kiss against her forehead.
"I love you too," she said.
After he flashed a loving smile, his mouth journeyed down to the nape of her neck where he teased her sensitive skin. As she groaned beneath him, he reached up and covered her hand with his. He kissed her even as their fingers tangled together, mingling and brushing. Sighing in bliss, he pulled down her tank top with his free hand and revealed her shoulder. He ran his mouth over the delicate swath of pale white skin, murmuring her name. It could have been her imagination, but she swore he sounded pained as he spoke. As she tightened her legs around him, she could feel how much he wanted her and stilled.
Good grief, it was no wonder the poor man sounded like he was suffering. His need was obvious. And what were they doing, rolling around like animals right next to the sidewalk? The magic of the moment ended as she pulled back, panting and sweaty, and stared at his face. He looked dazed as if she was the one who entranced him instead of the other way around. She stroked his cheek as fear and pain returned.
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