There were a few more, but nothing much. Donny hadn't fought in any big battles or taken part in any big operations with dramatic code names that made the news.
Mostly it was walking, scared every day you'd get jumped or you'd trip something off, or you'd just collapse under the weight of it. So much of it was boring, so much of it was dirty, so much of it was debasing. He didn't want to go back. He knew that. Man, if you let them send you back at this late date, when units were being rotated back to the world all the time during "Vietnamization," and you got wasted, you were a moron.
Suddenly someone bumped him hard.
"Oh, sorry," he said, stepping back.
"Yeah, you are," someone said.
Where had this action come from? There were three of them, but big like he was. Hair pouring from their heads, bright bands around their skulls, dressed in faded jeans and Army fatigue shirts.
"You're the Marine asshole, right? The lifer?"
"I am a Marine," he said.
"And I'm probably an asshole.
But I'm not a lifer."
The three fixed him with unsteady glares. Their eyes burned with hate. One of them rocked a little, the team leader, with his fist wrapped tightly around the neck of a bottle of gin. He held it like a weapon.
"Yeah, my brother came back in a little sack because of lifer fucks like you," he said.
"I'm very sorry for your brother," said Donny.
"Asshole lifer got him greased so he could make lieutenant colonel."
"Shit like that happens. Some joker wants a stripe so he sends his guys up the hill. He gets the stripe and they get the plastic bag."
"Yeah, but it happens mainly 'cause assholes like you let it happen, 'cause you don't have the fuckin' guts to say no to the Man. If you had the guts to say no, the whole thing stops."
"Did you say no to the Man?"
"I didn't have to," the boy said proudly.
"I was 1-Y. I was out of it."
Donny thought about explaining that it didn't matter what your classification was, if you obeyed it, you were obeying orders and working for the Man. Some guys just got better orders than others. But then the boy took a step toward Donny, his face drunkenly pugnacious. He gripped the bottle even harder.
"Hey, I didn't come here to fight," said Donny.
"I just drifted in with some guys." He looked around to find himself in the center of a circle of staring kids. Even the music had stopped and the smoke had ceased seething in the air.
Crowe had, of course, totally disappeared.
"Well, you drifted into the wrong fucking party, man," said the boy, and made as if to take another step, as Donny tried to figure out whether to pop him or to cut and run to avoid the hassle.
But suddenly another figure dipped between them.
"Whoa," he said, "my brothers, my brothers, let's not lose our holy cools."
"He's a fucking " said the aggressor.
"He's another kid, you can't blame the whole thing on him any more than you can blame it on anyone. It's the system, don't you get that? Jesus, don't you get anythingf" "Yeah, well, you have to start somewhere."
"Jerry, you cool out. Go smoke a joint or something, man. I'm not letting any three guys with booze bottles jump any poor grunt who came by looking to get laid."
"Trig, I " But this Trig laid a hand on Jerry's chest and fixed him with a glare hot enough to melt most things on earth, and Jerry stepped back, swallowed and looked at his pals.
"Fuck it," he finally said.
"We were splitting anyhow."
And the three of them turned and stormed out.
Suddenly the music started again--Stones, "Satisfaction"--and the party came back to life.
"Hey, thanks," said Donny.
"The last thing I need is a fight."
"That's okay," said his new friend.
"I'm Trig Carter, by the way." He put out a hand.
Trig had one of those long, grave faces, where the bones showed through the tight skin and the eyes seemed to be both moist and hot at the same moment. He really looked a lot like Jesus in a movie. There was something radiant in the way he fixed you with his eyes. He had something rare: immediate likability.
"Howdy," Donny said, surprised the grip was so strong in a man so thin.
"My name's Fenn, Donny Fenn."
"I know. You're Crowe's secret hero. The Bravo."
"Oh, Christ. I can't be a hero to him. I'm in it till my hitch ends, then I'm gone forever back to the land of the cacti and the Navajo."
"I've been there. Mourning doves, right? Little white birds, dart through the arroyos and the brush, really hard to spot, really fast?"
"Oh, yeah," said Donny.
"My dad and I used to hunt them. You've got to use a real light shot, you know, an eight or a nine. Even then, it's a tough shot."
"Sounds like fun," said Trig.
"But in my case I don't shoot 'em with a gun but with a camera. Then I paint them."
"Paint them?" This made no sense to Donny.
"You know," Trig said.
"Pictures. I'm actually an avian painter. Really, I've traveled the world painting pictures of birds."
"Wow!" said Donny.
"Does it pay?"
"A little. I illustrated my uncle's book. He's Roger Prentiss Fuller, Birds of North America. The Yale zoologist?"
"Er, can't say I heard of him."
"He was a hunter once. He went on safari in the early fifties with Elmer Keith."
This did impress Donny. Keith was a famous Idaho shooter who wrote books like Elmer Keith's Book of the Sixgun and Elmer Keith on Big Game Rifles.
"Wow," he said.
"Elmer Keith."
"Roger says Keith was a tiny, bitter little man. He had a terrible burn as a kid and he was always compensating for it. They had a falling out. Elmer just wanted to shoot and shoot. He couldn't see any sense to a limit. Roger doesn't shoot anymore."
"Well, after "Nam, I don't think I will either," Donny said.
"You sound okay for a Marine, Donny. Crowe was right about you. Maybe you'll join us when you get out."
He smiled, his eyes lighting like a movie star's.
"Well .. ." Donny said, provisionally. Himself a peacenik, smoking dope, long hair, carrying those cards, chanting "Hell, no, we won't go"? He laughed at the notion.
"Trig! When did you get here?" It was Crowe and his crowd, now with girls in tow, all leading what seemed to be a kind of electric ripple toward Trig.
And in seconds. Trig was gone, borne away on currents of some sort of celebrity hood that Donny didn't understand.
He turned to a girl standing nearby.
"Hey, excuse me," he said.
"Who is this Trig?"
She looked at him in astonishment.
"Man, what planet are you from?" she demanded, then ran after Trig, her eyes beaming love.
CHAPTER three.
"HP rig Carter!" Commander Bonson exclaimed.
J.
"Yeah, that was it, I couldn't quite remember the last name," said Donny, who could remember the name very well but couldn't quite bring himself to say it out loud.
"Seemed like a very nice guy."
Bonson's office was an undistinguished chamber in a World War II-era tempo still standing in the Washington Navy Yard about a half mile from Eighth and I, where by dim pretext Donny had been sent the next day for his debriefing on his first day as spy hunter.
"You saw Trig Carter and Crowe together. Is that right?"
Why did Donny feel so sleazy about all this? He felt clammy, as if someone were listening. He looked around.
President Nixon glowered down at him from the wall, enjoining him to do his duty for God and Country. A degree from the University of New Hampshire added to the solemnity of the occasion. A few ceremonial photos of Lieutenant Commander Bonson with various dignitaries completed the decor, the room was otherwise completely bereft of personality or even much sense of human occupation.
It was pret
ernaturally neat, even the paper clips in the little plastic box had been stacked, not dumped.
Lieutenant Commander Bonson bent forward, fixing Donny in his dark glare. He was a thin, dark man with a lot of whiskery shadow on his face and a sense of complete focus. There was something pilgrim like about him, he should have been in a pulpit denouncing miniskirts and the Beatles.
"Yes, sir," Donny finally said.
"The two of them .. .
and about one hundred other people."
"Where was this again?"
"A party. Uh, on C Street, on the Hill. I didn't get the address."
"Three-forty-five C, Southeast," said Ensign Weber.
"Did you check it out, Weber?"
"Yes, sir. It's the home of one James K. Phillips, a clerk to Justice Douglas and a homosexual, according to the FBI."
"Were most of the people there homosexuals, Fenn?
Was it a homo thing?"
Donny didn't know what to say. It just seemed like a party in Washington, like any party in Washington, with a lot of young people, some grass, some beer, music, and fun and hope in the air.
"I wouldn't know, sir."
Bonson sat back, considering. The homosexual thing seemed to hang in his mind, clouding it for a time. But then he was back on the track.
"So you saw them together?"
"Well, sir, not together, really. In the same crowd.
They knew each other, that was clear. But it didn't seem anything out of the ordinary."
"Could Crowe have given him any deployment intelligence?"
Donny almost laughed, but Bonson was so set in his glare that he knew to release the pressure he felt building in his chest would have been a big mistake.
"I don't think so," he said.
"Not that I saw. I mean, does Crowe have any deployment intelligence? I don't.
How would he?"
But Bonson didn't answer.
He turned to Weber.
"We've got to get closer," he said.
"We've got to get him inside the cell. Trig Carter. Imagine that."
"A wire, sir? Could we wire him?" asked Weber.
Oh, Christ, thought Donny. I'm really not going anywhere with a tape recorder taped to my belly.
"No, not unless we could get time to set it up quickly. He's got to stay fluid, flexible, quick on his feet. The wire won't work, not under these circumstances."
"It was just a suggestion, sir," said Weber.
"Well, Fenn," said Bonson, "you've made a fine start.
But too many times we see fast starters are slow finishers.
You've got to really press now. You've got to make Crowe your pal, your friend, do you see? He's got to trust you, that's how you'll crack this thing. Trig Carter, Weber. Isn't that the damndest thing you ever heard?"
"Sir, if I may ask, who is Trig Carter?"
"Show him, Weber."
Weber looked into a file and slid something over to Donny. Donny recognized it at once: he'd seen it a thousand times probably, without really noticing it. It was just part of the living-room imagery of the war, the scenes that were unforgettable.
It was a cover of Time magazine late in the hot summer of 1968: Chicago, the Democratic National Convention, the "police riot" outside on the last night. There was Trig, in shirtsleeves, a gush of blood cascading down from an ugly welt in his short, neat hair. He was bent under the weight of another kid he was carrying out of the fog of tear gas and the blurs that were Chicago policemen pounding anything that could be pounded. Trig looked impossibly noble and heroic, impossibly courageous. His eyes were screwed up in the pain of the CS gas, he was bloody and sweaty, and the veins on his neck stood out from all the effort he had invested in carrying the dazed, bloody, traumatized boy out of the zone of violence. He looked like any of a dozen insanely heroic Corpsmen Donny had seen pull the same thing off amid not cops but tracer fire and grenades and Bettys over in the Land of Bad Things, none of whose pictures had ever ended up on the cover of Time magazine.
the spirit of resistance, said the cover.
"He's their Lancelot," said Weber.
"Was beaten up in Selma by the Alabama State Police, got his picture on the cover of Time in sixty-eight at the convention. He's been everywhere in the Movement since then. One of the early peace freaks, a rich kid from an old Maryland family. Just came back from a year in England, studying drawing at Oxford. Harvard grad, some kind of painter, isn't that it?"
"Avian painter, sir. That's what he told me."
"Yes. Birds. Loves birds. Very odd," said Bonson.
"Very smart boy," continued Weber.
"But then, that seems to be the profile. It was the profile in England, too.
The smart ones, they can figure everything out, see through everything. They'll be the elite after the revolution.
Anyhow, he's big in the People's Coalition for Peace and Justice, a kind of glamorous roving ambassador and organizer. Lives here in DC, but works the campus circuit, goes where the action is. The FBI's been monitoring him for years. He'd be exactly the kind of man who'd get to Crowe and turn him into a spy. He'd be perfect. He's exactly who we're looking for."
"Fenn, I can't emphasize this enough. You've got less than two weeks until the big raft of May Day demonstrations is set. Crowe will be pressed to uncover deployment intelligence, Carter will be on him for results. You've got to monitor them very carefully. If you can't get tape or photos, you may have to testify in open court against them."
Donny felt a cold stone drop in his stomach: he saw an image, himself on the stand, putting the collar on poor Crowe. It made him sick.
"I know you'll make a fine witness," Bonson was saying.
"So begin to discipline your mind: remember details, events, chronologies. You might write a coded journal so you can recall things. Remember exact sentences. Get in the habit of making a time check every few minutes. If you don't want to take notes, imagine taking notes, because that can fix things in your mind. This is very important work, do you understand?"
"Ah--" "Doubts? Do I see doubts? You cannot doubt." Bonson leaned forward until he and he alone filled the world.
"Just as you could have no doubters in a rifle platoon, you can have no doubters on a counter intelligence mission.
You have to be on the team, committed to the team. The doubts erode your discipline, cloud your judgment, destroy your memory, Fenn. No doubts. That's the kind of rigor I need from you."
"Yes, sir," said Donny, hating himself as the world's entire melancholy weight settled on his strong young shoulders.
Crowe was particularly derelict that afternoon in riot control drill.
"It's so hot, Donny. The mask! Can't we pretend we're wearing our masks?"
"Crowe, if you have to do it for real, you'll want to be wearing a mask because otherwise the CS will make you a crybaby in a second. Put the mask on with the other guys."
Muttering darkly, Crowe slid the mask over his head, then clapped his two-pound camouflaged steel pot over his skull.
"Squad, on my command, form up shouted Donny, watching as his casket team, plus assorted others from Bravo Company assigned riot duty in Third Squad, formed a line. They looked like an insect army: their eyes hidden behind the plastic lenses of the masks, their faces made insectoid and ominous by the mandible like filter can, all in Marine green, with their 782 gear, their pistols, their M14s held at the high port.
"Squad, fix ... bayonets'." and the rifle butts slammed into the ground, the blades were drawn from their scabbards and in a single clanking, machinelike click locked onto the weapon muzzles. Except one.
Crowe's bayonet skittered away. He had dropped it.
"Crowe, you idiot, give me fifty of the finest!"
Crowe was silenced by his clammy mask, but his body posture radiated sullen anger. He fell from the formation.
"At ease," said Donny.
The squad relaxed.
"One, Corporal, two, Corporal, three, Corporal," Crowe narrated th
rough the mask as he banged out the push-ups. Donny let him go to fifteen, then said, "All right, Crowe, back in line ASAP. Let's try it again."
Crowe shot him a bitter look as he regathered his gear and rejoined the line.
Donny took them through it again. It was an extremely hot day and the darkness of his mood was such that he worked the men hard, breaking them down into standard line formation, flank marching them into an arrowhead riot element, counting cadence to govern their approach to the imagined riot, wheeling them left and right, getting them to fix and unfix bayonets over and over again.
He worked them straight through a break as great wet patches discolored their utilities until finally the platoon sergeant came over and said, "All right, Corporal, you can give them a break."
"Yes, Sergeant!" yelled Donny, and even the sergeant, a shit-together but fairly decent lifer named Ray Case, gave him a look.
"Fall out. Smoke em if you got 'em. If you don't got 'em, borrow 'em. If you can't borrow 'em, then get outta town because your buddies can't stand you."
Then, instead of mingling with the silently furious, sweating men, he himself walked over to the shade of the barracks and declared himself off-limits. Let 'em grouse.
But soon Crowe detached himself and came over, cheekily enough, secretly irritating Donny.
"Man, you really put me through it."
"I put the squad through it, Crowe, not you. We may have to do this shit for real next weekend."
"Oh, shit, none of those guys is going to march with bayonets into a bunch of kids with flowers in their hair where the girls are showing their tits. We'll just hang here or go sit in some fucking building like the last time. What, you figure, the Treasury again?"
Donny let the question simmer in his mind a bit. Then he said, "Crowe, I don't know. I just go where they tell me."
"Donny, I got it straight from Trig. They're not even coming into DC. The whole thing's going to the Pentagon.
Let the Army handle it. We won't even leave the barracks."
"If you say so."
"I thought we were--" "Crowe, I had fun last night. But out here, in the daylight, I'm still the corporal and squad leader, you're still a PFC, so you still play by my rules. Don't ever call me Donny in front of the men while we're on drill, okay?"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Anyhow, some of us were going to Trig's tonight. I thought you might want to come.
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