by JD Nixon
“She keeps texting me too. All day long. Hundreds of texts. And when we’re together she wants me to do things that are demeaning. Not to me, but to her. She wants me to degrade her.” He rubbed his face again. “God knows I’ve done just about everything you can do sexually in my life, but even I find these things degrading to do to her.”
“Maybe because you started your fling with wild sex, she thinks that’s what you prefer. And if she feels that you’re drifting away from her – for example, by sleeping with other women . . .” I shot him a look. “. . . then she might feel she has to up the ante on your activities.”
“I wish I’d never met her. This whole experience is turning less enjoyable every day.”
Leaving him to brood, I returned to my desk, worried about his involvement with that woman and his safety.
Chapter 27
I didn’t see Heller much during the following week. He was busy with Sid overseeing a new surveillance installation at a soon-to-open office building downtown. Heller’s had won the tender for installing the security system for the entire building as well as the ongoing monitoring, a very lucrative deal. So Heller and Sid were giving the job the personal touch, making sure everything was running according to plan.
As far as I knew he was still dating Vanessa, and I decided to try one last thing to persuade him that she was bad news. When no one was around, I sneaked into his office and sat at his desk. He’d just left for a meeting and his computer was still active. Glancing over my shoulder nervously, terrified of being caught, I downloaded some of the photos of her onto my memory stick. By the time I reached the safety of my desk again, I was shaking and had to take a moment to relax before I could continue working.
On Monday morning I spent the day in the office clearing up the last of my paperwork. I took a phone call from Patricia’s lawyer to tell me that her trial would be coming up in a few weeks and I’d soon receive a summons to attend as a witness. When I asked how Patricia was faring in jail, Corella gave me an equivocal answer. Patricia seemed to be coping well, but who really knew what was going on inside her head.
I didn’t see Heller again until Tuesday morning when he strolled into the office without stopping to greet any of us. Daniel and I exchanged a significant glance and I immediately followed Heller into his office. I stood next to him, examining his face closely. He’d obviously been in a fight. His right eye and cheek were bruised, his bottom lip had a cut on it, and his forehead and chin were grazed. His hands rested on his desk and I could see fresh bruising and cuts around his knuckles.
I smiled. “What happened to you? Did you finally break up with Vanessa?”
He shot me an unamused look. “No, Matilda. I had to sort some men out.” He winced as he moved in his chair, indicating he had other, less visible, injuries as well.
“Have you given yourself any first aid?” I asked, feeling bad that I’d teased him when he was in pain.
He shook his head pitifully, and it was amazing how pathetic a hardarse of a man could make himself look when he wanted something. I fetched the first aid kit, shrugging my shoulders at Daniel as I did, and administered some disinfectant on his grazes and cuts and a belated icepack on his eye.
“Any other injuries you need Nurse Tilly to help you with?”
He raised his eyebrows. “Nurse Matilda, hmm? Well, there’s another fantasy about you to add to my long list.”
“Why were you fighting? Violence is not the answer, you know.”
“That all depends on what the question is. Anyway, I like fighting. It’s a very personal way of dealing with problems,” he said. Without any warning, he pulled me down onto his lap and kissed me several times, not caring about his own split lip.
“What’s that for?” I asked with a smile, slipping an arm around his neck. I realised with a rush of emotion how much I’d missed spending time with him.
“Because you’re not going to want to kiss me for a long time when you find out who I was sorting out,” he said.
I scrambled off his lap and stared at him, dread coiling around my body. He looked back at me steadily with his cold blue eyes.
“Oh God, Heller. Not Will? You haven’t beaten up Will, have you?”
He was unapologetic. “No one treats you like that and gets away with it without some punishment.”
“Is he okay?”
My emotions were mixed. Ninety percent of me was horrified about the violence, but I admit that ten percent was glad that he’d taught Will a lesson. His physical pain could never match the emotional pain he’d caused me.
“No, but he’ll live. I didn’t break anything. I never liked him, you know that better than anybody, but I trusted him to look after you and care for you properly. Otherwise I wouldn’t have let you anywhere near him. He deserved everything I gave him. I wanted to kill him,” he said, chillingly bland.
“It looks as though he gave you back as good as he got, judging by your injuries,” I commented in surprise. I wouldn’t have thought Will had it in him.
Heller laughed in derision. “Him? No! He didn’t cause this. He was as tough as a fluffy toy. Even you would have given me a harder fight than he did.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he spoke over me. “I told you I had men to sort out. Plural. It was the other one who made me work for it.”
“Who was that?”
“That one was my business, not yours.”
In other words, keep my nose out of his business. Immediately Chris Kirnin from Select Security sprang to mind and I wondered if he was still sending enforcers to teach Heller a lesson. Or whether Heller had decided to pay him a visit. He’d taken some revenge for Niq’s and my car accident, but I often feared it wasn’t enough for him. He’d been really angry about it.
I took the hint and left him alone. There was a message on my desk when I returned. Farrell was busy that night and couldn’t make our training session. He must be on assignment, I thought. I had to expect our exercise routine to be disrupted by work now and then. I was disappointed on the one hand because I wanted to see him again, but the lazy part of me was glad I escaped a training session.
It wasn’t long before it was Thursday and I would see Farrell again, due back in the torture chamber for another brutal workout with him. I speculated on whether what we’d done together would make him any softer towards me during training. Somehow, I doubted it. He’d probably be even harder on me now. But I wouldn’t mind, knowing that there was a funny, likeable, caring man hiding underneath that tough exterior. I liked that.
I arrived at the gym early, ready to work and not in a foul mood for once, which would make a nice change for him. He appeared as I was limbering up. Turning to greet him cheerfully, I stopped in shock as he shuffled his way over to me, wincing with pain as he moved.
“Oh God, Hugh,” I managed to whisper, my hand to my mouth as I surveyed the wreck of his face. He was badly bruised, barely able to see out of one eye and his bottom lip had been severely cut and since stitched. His nose had purple bruising across the crown. I could see bruising on his neck and his knuckles were a mass of healing wounds.
Tears sprang to my eyes without warning and he grimaced in what I think was meant to be a smile of reassurance. Gingerly, he rested his hand on my shoulder, but didn’t come any closer.
“Don’t cry, Chalmers. Please,” he mumbled through his bruised, swollen lips. “I’m okay, really. The worst of it has passed and everything’s starting to heal now.”
I didn’t even need to ask who was responsible. I berated myself for not realising what he’d meant when he had told me that he had more than one man to sort out.
“How did he find out?” I asked. “I swear I didn’t say a word to anybody.”
He pointed to several places in the ceiling. “Security cameras. Here and in the hallway of your floor. He saw me enter and leave your flat. Saw us here in the gym.”
I looked up and could just make out the cameras, professionally and discreetly installed.
“I h
ad no idea. I’m so sorry.” I was beyond upset that my ignorance had had such devastating results for him.
“It didn’t all go his way. I managed to get in a few good shots. But he’s so strong and focussed. I knew I’d pay one way or another for that night, sweetheart. It was too good to be true.”
“I want to give you a hug, but I’m afraid to touch you in case he’s watching again. I don’t want you to suffer any more.” I looked up at a camera angrily. I wanted to rip it out of the ceiling and smash it into a million pieces. Preferably over Heller’s head.
“It was worth it. I told him that too. It was the best thing that happened to me for years. I’d do it again tomorrow, even with the same result.”
I smiled at him tearfully. “That’s such a lovely thing to say, Hugh. I feel the same way, but I’m not going to risk you getting hurt again.”
We sat down together on a bench, him flinching as he lowered himself. I took his hand gently.
“Did he just attack you, or was there some conversation first?”
“I knew what was going to happen as soon as I saw him. It was in the bottom basement. I was going home. He came down the stairs and told every other man to clear out. He had a determined angry look on his face. He told me that he had asked me and trusted me to train you, not to sleep with you, and that I had stepped over the boundary and broken his trust. He accused me of taking advantage of you when you were emotionally vulnerable.” Farrell glanced down at our clasped hands and lifted his poor eyes to me. “That’s probably true. I shouldn’t have done it when you were so upset. I’m sorry. It was wrong of me.”
“Oh Hugh, I wanted to. It was my decision. And it wasn’t wrong, it was right. It made me feel so much better.”
He squeezed my hand. “Heller said there were two things stopping him from killing me. The first was that he respected me in all other aspects and didn’t want to lose a good man, and the second was that I’d made you happy. I believed him, but is that true?”
I gave him a watery smile at him and nodded. “All my anger and pain seemed to melt away after our night together. I felt calm for the first time in ages. You were like a miracle drug for me.”
He nodded, looking down at our hands again.
“You still have your job?” I queried.
“Yeah. Thank God.”
“You actually want to keep working for him after this?”
“Sure. It’s a good place to work. I don’t take this personally. He’d have done the same to any of the men who’d slept with you. He’s the boss here, and I respect him. I couldn’t work for someone I didn’t respect.”
“Respect him? After what he did to you?”
“Yeah. He’s honourable. I respect that. A lot of men would have ordered someone else to handle their dirty business, or would have ambushed me without warning. But he dealt with it himself in a fair fight. He told me what I’d done wrong and what he was going to do to sort me out. I had a fair chance. If I’d been the better fighter I would have pounded his arse, and he would have had to take it.”
I shook my head despairingly. “Men! I’ll never understand you.”
“I can appreciate him getting angry about me breaching his trust. He’s very protective of you. He loves you a lot, Chalmers.”
“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know how to love anybody.”
“Maybe you need to show him how.”
I stood up, uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken. “You should go home, Hugh. You’re no use to me tonight, although I’m very tempted to take you on. I reckon I’d have a good shot at bringing you down.”
“In your dreams. I could break both arms and legs and you’d still struggle against me.” He stood up painfully and started to shuffle towards the door.
“Do you want some help?” I offered my arm to him, but he brushed me away impatiently.
Just then we both noticed the huge bulk of Heller standing in the doorway. He glanced between us, his face stripped of any emotion.
“Farrell,” he acknowledged curtly.
“Boss,” mumbled Farrell, nodding his head briefly. He turned to me. “Next week, Chalmers. Don’t be late.”
“There won’t be any more training sessions between you two,” Heller said coldly.
Farrell looked up at him and Heller stared him down, as if daring him to question his order. His jaw bunched with tension, Farrell squeezed past Heller and departed.
Heller and I were left facing each other.
“Have you come to beat me up too?” I asked flatly. “You could make it three for three. I won’t be much of a challenge for you after Will or Farrell. You could sort me out, personally, and still be back home in time for dinner.”
“Matilda –” he started.
“Or even better, what if I give you a list of all the men I’ve ever slept with and you can sort them out at your leisure. You’re not on it, of course.”
“Stop it.”
“And then, just to make your life easier, I’ll also give you a list of all the men I plan to sleep with in the future, so you can pre-emptively beat them up when you find a spare moment. You’re not on that list either.”
“Stop it!” he yelled, and before I could react he’d closed the gap between us, his hand snaking around my throat. He didn’t squeeze or exert any pressure, his touch was caressing, but if anything that scared me even more than if he’d been violent towards me. He leaned down until his face was right in front of mine, our noses almost touching, his blue eyes burning a hole into mine.
“You will never sleep with another one of my men again, because if you do, I won’t let the next one off as lightly as Farrell. Do you understand?” His voice was icy cold.
I nodded, heart pounding, which he must have felt through the beating pulse in my neck. We stared at each other and his eyes softened, his fingers loosened, gently stroking.
“You torture me, Matilda,” he said quietly, almost as if to himself.
I stepped away from him, and to my surprise he let me.
“I’m going now,” I said defiantly, despite my trembling legs. “I’d tell you what I’m doing this evening, but you can just bloody well watch it all in the comfort of your home, like you’ve been doing the whole time I’ve been here.”
“There are no cameras in your flat. I would never do that.”
“I’m sure you’ll understand when I say that I don’t believe you.”
I walked out of the gym leaving him watching after me, frustration written large on his face. At the door, I turned back.
“I’m not sorry I slept with Farrell. At least he was there for me when I needed him.”
And I left.
Chapter 28
I cried myself to sleep again that night, however the next day and the weekend passed peacefully. I spent the days messing around with Daniel and Niq, trying to put the whole mess behind me, giving them all my attention. Although we privately acknowledged that Niq had definitely started the process of turning into a man, Daniel and I located a magnifying glass to search for the moustache that he insisted had sprouted. We teased him that it was a chocolate milk line on his lip, not facial hair, but hastily stopped when he began to become very offended with not being taken seriously. There’s only so far you can tease a teenager before hormones take over and he stormed off in an emotional huff, refusing to talk to anyone for ages. We’d learned that the hard way.
Heller was nowhere to be seen, and I was grateful for that. He’d done so many objectionable things recently that I wouldn’t have been able to even look at him without remembering poor Farrell’s broken face.
I cooked Daniel and Niq dinner on Sunday night. Afterwards we watched a disgusting blood-drenched, gore-splattered movie that almost had me heaving up my dinner. They laughed at my green gills, so I shooed them out when the movie finished. That was when I noticed my memory stick, half-buried in paperwork next to my laptop. With everything that had happened, I’d forgotten about those rude photos of Vanessa I’d download
ed onto it.
After a few minutes thinking, I rang my brother Brian and told him that I wanted to run someone past him to see if he recognised her. He’d been a cop for a number of years and had come across loads of dodgy people.
Yeah, I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try at least.
He agreed impatiently, reminding me that it was the weekend and he was off duty. I chose the photo that gave the best view of Vanessa’s face, the one where she sat on the chair. He rang me back almost immediately.
“Jesus, Tilly! If Gayle saw me looking at that, she’d have my balls on toast for breakfast. Where the fuck did you get that photo?”
“That woman sent it to Heller.”
His snigger was low and nasty. “Lucky bastard! I suppose he’s porking her. I’d love to circulate that pic around the office. Lots of blokes would pay to look at that. Especially a photo of her.”
“You know her?” I couldn’t believe my luck.
“Yeah, she’s a uniformed constable. She’s a nice piece of arse, but a stuck up bitch. Wouldn’t piss on any of us if we were on fire. Like I said, lots of blokes here would love to get a look at her naked. Got any more photos?”
“A cop? Are you sure? That’s not what she told Heller. She told him she was an art dealer. He looked into her. She’s on a legitimate website and has business cards. She has a driver’s licence.”
“Look, she works the counter a lot. I walk past her every single day. It’s her, unless she has a twin sister.” He gave another nasty snigger. “Maybe she’s played him for a sucker.”
“But why would she lie about her job?”
“Maybe she didn’t think being a cop was glamorous enough to attract Mr Hot Stuff. I don’t fucking know.”
“What’s her name?”
“Violet Langmore.”
“She told Heller her name is Vanessa Langmore. And that she lives out of town.”
“I don’t know, Tilly. The one at work is called Violet. Maybe she does have a twin?”
“So strange. Okay, thanks for your help, Brian.”