I knew that wasn’t true because mommy likes to punish me but I didn’t dare say that to daddy. Daddy isn’t afraid of me the way mommy is and he is nice to me most times, so I said all right if you say so. Daddy said fine, will you promise to be nice to mommy from now on? I said yes if mommy won’t hit Bobby any more with the broom. And daddy said well after all Bobby can be a bad dog just the way you can be a bad boy, can’t he? I knew Bobby was never a bad dog on purpose but I said yes I guessed so. Then I wanted to ask daddy why mommy was afraid of me but I didn’t dare because I knew daddy liked mommy more than anybody and maybe he would be angry at me for saying things like that about her.
That night I heard mommy and daddy talking down in the living room and I sat on the top step so I could hear them. Bobby sat there too, but I knew he didn’t know what they were saying because Bobby isn’t very smart and can’t understand word-talk like I can. He can only understand think-talk, and he doesn’t understand that very well. But now even I couldn’t understand what mommy was saying. She was crying and saying Ben I tell you there’s something wrong with the child, he knows what I’m thinking, I can tell it by the way he looks at me. And daddy said darling, that’s ridiculous, how could he possibly know what you’re thinking? Mommy said I don’t know but he does! Ever since he was a little boy he’s known—oh, Ben, it’s horrible, I can’t do anything with him because he knows what I’m going to do before I do it. Then daddy said Carol, you’re upset about today and you’re making things up. The child is just a little smarter than most kids, there’s nothing wrong with that. And mommy said no, there’s more to it than that and I can’t stand it any longer. We’ve got to take him to a doctor, I don’t even like to look at him. Daddy said you’re tired, you’re just letting little things get on your nerves. So maybe the boy does look a little strange, you know the doctor said it was just that the fontanels hadn’t closed as soon as they should have and lots of children don’t have a good growth of hair before they’re six or seven. After all he said he isn’t a bad-looking boy.
Then mommy said that isn’t true, he’s horrible! I can’t bear it, Ben, please do something, and daddy said what can I do? I talked to the boy and he was sorry and promised he’d behave himself. And mommy said then there’s that dog—it follows him around wherever he goes, and he’s simply wicked if the dog isn’t around, and daddy said isn’t it perfectly normal for a boy to love his dog? Mommy said no, not like this, talking to him all the time, and the dog acting exactly as if he understands—there’s something wrong with the child, something horribly wrong.
Then daddy was quiet for a while, and then he said all right, if it will make you feel any better we can have Doctor Grant take another look at him. Maybe he can convince you that there’s nothing wrong with the boy, and mommy said please, Ben, anything, I can’t stand much more of this.
When I went back to bed and Bobby curled up on the floor, I asked him what were fontanels, and Bobby just yawned and said he didn’t know but he thought I was nice, and he would always take care of me, so I didn’t worry anymore and went to sleep.
* * * *
I have a panda out in the barn and the panda’s name is Bobby too and at first Bobby the dog was jealous of Bobby the panda until I told him that the panda was only a make-believe Bobby and he was a real Bobby. Then Bobby liked the panda, and the three of us played out in the barn all day. We decided not to tell mommy and daddy about the panda, and kept it for our own secret. It was a big panda, as big as mommy and daddy, and sometimes I thought maybe I would make the panda hurt mommy but then I knew daddy would be sorry so I didn’t.
Bobby and I were playing with Bobby the panda the day the doctor came and mommy called me in and made Bobby stay outside. I didn’t like the doctor because he smelled like a dirty old cigar and he had a big red nose with three black hairs coming out of it and he wheezed when he bent down to look at me. Daddy and mommy sat on the couch and the doctor said let me have a look at you young fellow and I said but I’m not sick and the doctor said ha, ha, of course you aren’t, you’re a fine looking boy but just let me listen to your chest for a minute. So he put a cold thing on my chest and stuck some tubes in his ears and listened, and then he looked in my eyes with a bright light and looked into my ears, and then he felt my head all over. He had big hairy hands and I didn’t like him touching me but I knew mommy would be angry if I didn’t hold still so I let him finish. Then he told daddy some big words that I couldn’t understand, but in think-talk he was saying that my head still hadn’t closed up right and I didn’t have as much hair as you’d expect but otherwise I seemed to be all right. He said I was a good stout looking boy but if they wanted a specialist in to look at me he would arrange it. Daddy asked if that would cost very much and the doctor said yes it probably would and he didn’t see any real need for it because my bones were just a little slow in developing, and mommy said have you seen other children like that? The doctor said no but if the boy seems to be normal and intelligent why should she be worrying so? Then mommy told me to go upstairs, and I went but I stopped on the top stair and listened.
When I was gone the doctor said now Carol what is it that’s really bothering you? Then mommy told him what she had told daddy, how she thought I knew what she was thinking, and the doctor said to daddy, Ben, have you ever felt any such thing about the boy? Daddy said of course not, sometimes he gives you the feeling that he’s smarter than you think he is but all parents have that feeling about their children sometimes. And then mother broke down and her voice got loud and she said he’s a monster, I know it, there’s something wrong and he’s different from us, him and that horrible dog. The doctor said but it’s a beautiful collie, and mommy said but he talks to it and it understands him, and the doctor said now, Carol, let’s be reasonable. Mommy said I’ve been reasonable too long, you men just can’t see it at all, don’t you think I’d know a normal child if I saw one? And then she cried and cried, and finally she said all right, I know I’m making a fool of myself, maybe I’m just overtired, and the doctor said I’m sure that’s the trouble, try to get some rest, and sleep longer at night, and mommy said I can’t sleep at night, I just lie there and think.
The doctor said well we’ll fix that, enough of this nonsense now, you need your sleep and if you’re not sleeping well it’s you that should be seeing the doctor. He gave her some pills from his bag and then he went away, and pretty soon daddy let Bobby in, and Bobby came upstairs and jumped up and licked my face as if he’d been away for a hundred million years. Later mommy called me down for supper, and she wasn’t crying any more, and she and daddy didn’t say anything about what they had said to the doctor. Mommy made me a special surprise for dessert, some ice cream with chocolate syrup on top, and after supper we all went for a walk, even though it was cold outside and snowing again. Then daddy said well, I think things will be all right, and mommy said I hope so, but I could tell that she didn’t really think so, and she was more afraid of me than ever.
* * * *
For a while I thought mommy was really going to be nice to me and Bobby then. She was especially nice when daddy was home but when daddy was away at work sometimes mommy jumped when she saw me looking at her and then sent me outdoors to play and told me not to come in until lunch. I liked that because I knew if I weren’t near mommy everything would be all right. When I was with mommy I tried hard not to look at her and I tried not to hear what she was thinking, but lots of times I would see her looking first at me and then at Bobby, and those times I couldn’t help hearing what she was thinking because it seemed so loud inside my head that it made my eyes hurt. But I knew mommy would be angry so I pretended I couldn’t hear what she was thinking at all.
One day when we were out in the barn playing with Bobby the panda we saw mommy coming down through the snow from the kitchen and Bobby said look out Jimmy mommy is coming and I quick told Bobby the panda to go hide under the hay so mommy couldn’t see him. But the panda was so big his whole top and his little pink nose
stuck out of the hay. Mommy came in and looked around the barn and said you’ve been out here for a long time, what have you been doing? I said nothing, and Bobby said nothing too, only in think-talk. And mommy said you are too, you’ve been doing something naughty, and I said no mommy we haven’t done anything, and then the panda sneezed and I looked at him and he looked so funny with his nose sticking out of the hay that I laughed out loud.
Mommy looked angry and said well what’s so funny, what are you laughing at? I said nothing, because I knew mommy couldn’t see the panda, but I couldn’t stop laughing because he looked so funny sticking out of the hay. Then mommy got mad and grabbed my ear and shook me until it hurt and said you naughty boy, don’t you lie to me, what have you been doing out here? She hurt me so much I started to cry and then Bobby snarled at mommy loud and low and curled his lips back over his teeth and snarled some more. And mommy got real white in the face and let go of me and she said get out of here you nasty dog and Bobby snarled louder and then snapped at her. She screamed and she said Jimmy you come in the house this minute and leave that nasty dog outdoors and I said I won’t come, I hate you.
Then mommy said Jimmy! You wicked, ugly little monster, and I said I don’t care, when I get big I’m going to hurt you and throw you in the wood shed and lock you in until you die and make you eat coconut pudding and Bobby hates you too. And mommy looked terrible and I could feel how much she was afraid of me and I said you just wait, I’ll hurt you bad when I get big, and then she turned and ran back to the house. And Bobby wagged his tail and said don’t worry, I won’t let her hurt you anymore and I said Bobby you shouldn’t have snapped at her because daddy won’t like me when he comes home but Bobby said I like you and I won’t let anything ever hurt you. I’ll always take care of you no matter what. And I said promise? No matter what? And Bobby said I promise. And then we told Bobby the panda to come out but it wasn’t much fun playing any more.
After a little while mommy called me and said lunch was ready. She was still white and I said can Bobby come too and she said of course Bobby can come, Bobby’s a nice dog, so we went in to eat lunch. Mommy was talking real fast about what fun it was to play in the barn and was I sure I wasn’t too cold because it was below zero outside and the radio said a snowstorm was coming, but she didn’t say anything about Bobby and me being out in the barn. She was talking so fast I couldn’t hear what she was thinking except for little bits while she set my lunch on the table and then she set a bowl of food on the floor for Bobby even though it wasn’t Bobby’s time to eat and said nice Bobby here’s your dinner. Bobby came over and sniffed the bowl and then he looked up at me and said it smells funny and mommy said nice Bobby, it’s good hamburger just the way you like it—
And then for just a second I saw what she was thinking and it was terrible because she was thinking that Bobby would soon be dead, and I remembered daddy saying a long time ago that somebody fed bad things to the Bennet’s dog and the dog died and I said don’t eat it, Bobby, and Bobby snarled at the dish. And then mommy said you tell the dog to eat it and I said no you’re bad and you want to hurt Bobby, and then I picked up the dish and threw it at mommy. It missed and smashed on the wall and she screamed and turned and ran out into the other room. She was screaming for daddy and saying I can’t stand it, he’s a monster, a murderous little monster and we’ve got to get out of here before he kills us all, he knows what we’re thinking, he’s horrible, and then she was on the telephone, and she couldn’t make the words come out right when she tried to talk.
I was scared and I said come on Bobby let’s lock ourselves up in my room and we ran upstairs and locked the door. Mommy was banging things and laughing and crying downstairs and screaming we’ve got to get out, he’ll kill us if we don’t, and a while later I heard the car coming up the road fast, and saw daddy run into the house just as it started to snow. Then mommy was screaming please, Ben, we’ve got to get out of here, he tried to kill me, and the dog is vicious, he bit me when I tried to make him stop.
The next minute daddy was running up the stairs two at a time and I could feel him inside my head for the first time and I knew he was angry. He’d never been this angry before and he rattled the knob and said open this door Jimmy in a loud voice. I said no I won’t and he said open the door or I’ll break your neck when I get in there and then he kicked the door and kicked it again. The third time the lock broke and the door flew open and daddy stood there panting. His eyes looked terrible and he had a leather belt doubled up in his hand and he said now come out here and his voice was so loud it hurt my ears.
Down below mommy was crying please Ben, take me away, he’ll kill us both, he’s a monster! I said don’t hurt me daddy it was mommy, she was bad to me, and he said I said come out here even louder. I was scared then and I said please daddy I’ll be good I promise. Then he started for me with the belt and I screamed out Bobby! Don’t let him hurt me, Bobby, and Bobby snarled like a wild animal and jumped at daddy and bit his wrist so bad the blood spurted out. Daddy shouted and dropped the belt and kicked at Bobby but Bobby was too quick. He jumped for daddy again and I saw his white teeth flash and heard him snap close to daddy’s throat and then Bobby was snarling and snapping and I was excited and I shouted hurt him, Bobby, he’s been bad to me too and he wants to hurt me and you’ve got to stop him.
Then I saw daddy’s eyes open wide, and felt something jump in his mind, something that I’d never felt there before and I knew he was understanding my think-talk. I said I want Bobby to hurt you and mommy because you’re not nice to me, only Bobby and my panda are nice to me. Go ahead, Bobby, hurt him, bite him again and make him bleed. And then daddy caught Bobby by the neck and threw him across the room and slammed the door shut and dragged something heavy up to block it. In a minute he was running downstairs shouting Carol, I heard it! you were right all along—I felt him, I felt what he was thinking! And mommy cried please, Ben, take me away, let’s leave them and never come back, never, and daddy said it’s horrible, he told that dog to kill me and it went right for my throat, the boy is evil and monstrous. Even from downstairs I could feel daddy’s fear pounding into my head and then I heard the door banging and looked out the window and saw daddy carrying suitcases out through the snow to the car and then mommy came out running and the car started down the hill and they were gone. Everything downstairs was very quiet. I looked out the window and I couldn’t see anything but the big falling snowflakes and the sun going down over the hill.
Now Bobby and I and the panda are all together and I’m glad mommy and daddy are gone. I went to sleep for a little while because my head hurt so but now I’m awake and Bobby is lying across the room licking his feet and I hope mommy and daddy never come back because Bobby will take care of me. Bobby is my friend and he said he’d always take care of me no matter what and he understands my think-talk even if he isn’t very smart.
It’s beginning to get cold in the house now because nobody has gone down to fix the fire but I don’t care about that. Pretty soon I will tell Bobby to push open the door and go down and fix the fire and then I will tell him to get supper for me and then I will stay up all night because mommy and daddy aren’t here to make me go to bed. There’s just me and Bobby and the panda, and Bobby promised he’d take care of me because he’s my friend.
It’s getting very cold now, and I’m getting hungry.
NEB, by Robert Reginald
I murdered my friend today. I didn’t have the courage to do it myself, so I paid someone else to handle the dirty work. I put him in the car, and took him to a place that smelled of death and fear and hurt. He submitted to all of this without balking, without any doubt whatever that I, his oldest and closest and only friend in this world, would save him from this awful place and from the terrible things that were destroying him inside. I did neither. I had him killed.
It began just over ten years ago, in March of 1973. I was a lonely bachelor living in a duplex on a hill overlooking San Bernardino, three years
out of graduate school, working at my first professional position, and finishing my second book. My work was my life, and vice versa—I had few friends, little furniture, minimal social life. I was still enjoying the exhilaration of being away from home for the first time, but beginning to realize that there are more things in heaven and on earth than I had dreamed of.
Into this rather austere life came an interloper, a thin, somewhat dirty, adolescent bluetick hound that I had noticed wandering the neighborhood during the previous few months. He barked at me in my driveway one night; for no reason I’ve ever been able to fathom, I went into the house, poured some milk into a saucer, and set it in the open doorway. He accepted my offering, despite some initial shyness, and returned the following evening for more, barking at my front door. Soon he was spending the night. Nothing lascivious, of course—ours was purely a platonic relationship—but we did seem to fill a need in each other.
He was black on top, with white patches shadowed with auburn highlights; the end half of his long tail was pure white, and he carried it curled over his back like a personal banner. Young, strong, arrogant, intelligent, self-assured, but never mean, with a bad habit of chasing cars, motorcycles, postal jeeps, and jackrabbits (and the scars to prove it), he was a good companion, particularly on the long walks we took together in the evenings.
I named him Nebuchadnezzar, after the Babylonian king of the sixth century B.C., but never called him anything but Neb.
Then one day he disappeared for three days, and I discovered that Neb had had a previous master, a man who had bought the dog for his boy a year before, but had then set him loose when he and his wife had gone their separate ways. The son was visiting then, so Neb had been kept in his first master’s house. I managed to persuade them to let me take care of him permanently, with appropriate visiting rights.
The Dog Megapack Page 11