The scent of apple blossoms began to swirl hypnotically inside her head. It caught her breath as her whole body recognized the fragrance of Nick’s favorite flower. Without thought, she eased into it, allowing the idea of Nicholas to take shape for just a moment.
But it’s not real.
Lacey closed her eyes to the stinging tears, thoughts of Nicholas winding their way up from her heart and swathing her in a cloud of deep blue, timeless peace.
“I miss you too, honey. Go to sleep, Lacey. I’m here now.”
Chapter Four
It’s no use, Sterling fumed. Her brain refused to work. She sorted through the case files at her office, willing her emotions to stop tormenting her as she recuperated from a long, sleepless night. The benign sounds of Michelle keyboarding in the outer office did little to interrupt the mindless emotional turmoil of last night’s restlessness.
In the darkness, thoughts of Ben and how it used to be, what she’d done to him, replayed unrestricted by the distractions of daylight. And now, in the light of day, the thoughts, haughty and determined, challenged her sanity, coaxing her to give them room to do their work.
It troubled her that the warning flags were up again. What were they trying to say? Were they warning her of a big problem with the case? Or were they trying to tell her to beware of involvement with Ben? It could lead to more pain, and she knew it.
Two years ago she’d told him it was over. Loving him had been so easy, but then the fear welled too greatly inside of her. With Nicholas’s death, she’d realized more than ever that a heart open to love was also a heart vulnerable to excruciating pain and insurmountable loss.
Silly girl. You’d actually believed in a happily ever after.
The breakup had been difficult, but she’d only done what she needed to survive. And even when Ben had finally accepted that they weren’t going to be together, endorsing her decision to quit police work was quite another matter, something he’d railed against with all his usual unrestrained gusto.
But Sterling knew in time she’d get over Ben. And fortunately she didn’t need his permission to make a life as a private investigator. He didn’t even have to like it.
To make sure no one would get close enough to leave her hurt and broken like her mother, she’d made a life for herself invested in independence. She’d dated a few times, but quickly questioned, what was the point? She had friends and companionship, and she didn’t want anything more. Lacey liked to point out that Sterling’s single-minded devotion to her profession was her own way of building walls against the world. Maybe so. Maybe no one would get in. Especially not Ben Kirby. It didn’t have to make sense to be right for her.
Sterling dropped her forehead into the heels of her hands. If only life hadn’t cruelly smashed them up against each other again. If only Ben would stop forcing her into a corner where she questioned her decisions.
Lacey strode in, the aroma of fresh baked cinnamon rolls wafting in with her. “Have you had breakfast yet, sis? I gave Michelle a roll and there’s plenty for you, too.”
Sterling’s stomach lurched. “Sorry. The rolls smell delicious, but my stomach isn’t ready for food yet.”
Lacey eyed her. “Is something up?”
“You tell me. You seem very chipper this morning.”
“I actually slept last night. There’s nothing like a good night’s sleep,” Lacey said. “But stop changing the topic. What’s wrong with your stomach?”
“Nothing. Michelle made coffee. It’s pretty good.”
“Stop trying to change the topic.”
Savoring a sip from her coffee cup, Sterling quizzically watched Lacey cut her roll into bite size pieces. A new quirk?
“What?” Lacey asked defensively. “It’s neater this way. Just watch. Soon everyone will be eating cinnamon rolls this way.”
“I’m for whatever makes you happy, sis. In fact, I bought you something that might make you smile.” Sterling pulled a pair of rose quartz earrings from a bag under her desk and walked to Lacey’s desk.
“For me?” Lacey’s eyes brightened as she accepted the dangling earrings.
“For you.”
“What’s the occasion?”
“Nothing special. When I saw them they had your name written all over them.” According to the jeweler, the rose quartz stones bestow powers of love for the holder. Sterling didn’t believe in all that mystical, magical stuff, but Lacey did, and it wouldn’t hurt to give her a little extra love right now.
Though Sterling worried about Lacey, she admired her buoyant spirit and anything she could do to support her recovery from losing Nicholas was worth doing. On this second anniversary of his death, Sterling couldn’t bring Nicholas back, but she could at least show her sister how much she cared.
“I love them!” Lacey exclaimed, giving Sterling a quick hug. “Now let’s get back to what’s eating you. I can tell something’s on your mind.”
Sterling cleared her throat uncomfortably. “I need to talk to you about the Pamela Witt case.”
“Talk away.”
“I want you to handle the case alone.”
“Okay. Now I understand,” Lacey mumbled through cinnamon roll. She gave Sterling a once over.
“Don’t give me that look,” said Sterling, dropping into her desk chair.
Lacey’s eyes widened innocently. “What look?”
“That knowing look that says you think I’m still hung up on Ben. The look that says you think I should settle things with him once and for all, not run away.”
“My look said all that?”
Sterling nodded her head at her sister. “Trust me. I know that look.”
“Sterling, I think you should live your life your way.” Lacey licked cinnamon from her fork, then swallowed a mouthful of coffee.
“That’s it? That’s all you want to say?” Sterling knew her sister all too well. Lacey always bubbled with thoughts and was never shy about sharing them.
“Well, I think you two are perfect for each other. I think you’re kidding yourself if you believe work alone will fulfill you. I think — ”
Both Sterling and Lacey jumped at the sound of the intercom.
“There is a Detective Kirby to see you both,” Michelle said. “Shall I send him in?”
In a whisper, Sterling pressed Lacey. “So you’ll handle it alone?”
“Sure. Michelle, send him in.”
Lacey walked to the door and greeted him. “Come in, please.”
Ben strode through the doorway into the office and Sterling’s heart instantly leaped into her throat. Damn him, she thought to herself while offering a perfunctory smile. Why does he affect me so? A crisp white shirt set off his dark good looks. His gray suit, a perfect fit, flattered his strongly muscled body. It was all heady stuff that worked at her already jangled nerves.
“Good morning, Lacey, Sterling.” Ben nodded in Sterling’s direction.
“Have a seat, Ben.” Lacey motioned to the couch. “What brings you to our neighborhood again?”
“I have more questions regarding the Pamela Witt murder.” Ben settled into the couch, all the while eyeing Sterling.
“I told you everything yesterday,” Lacey said.
“Did you find out the information I asked about?”
“As soon as we have something for you we’ll let you know. You haven’t given us much time to work on it, Ben.”
Fully aware of his eyes on her, Sterling gathered her purse and jacket from her desk, wanting to bound out faster than a jack rabbit. “Ben, Lacey will be working alone on this case, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you two alone.”
Ben’s eyes narrowed and Sterling felt as though he could see right into her head.
It had always been like that with him. From the moment they’d first met,
they’d finished each other’s sentences and anticipated each other’s actions. Her face felt warm and her skin dimpled annoyingly.
“I suppose the next thing you’ll say is there is nothing personal intended.” His tone was as crisp as burnt toast.
“I wouldn’t try to sell that to you, Ben.” She saw him angrily ball his hands. This wasn’t going very well. “I think you know as well as I do, we can’t work in the same room, much less cooperate on a case.” It was funny how the passion that used to burn so hot between them, illuminating a bigger-than-life love, now boiled beneath the surface like an angry pot threatening to erupt.
“So, as usual, you’re going to walk out.”
“Okay, okay, time out,” Lacey interrupted, pounding her hand against her desk. “Ben, our agency wishes to cooperate with the investigation, but Sterling’s direct involvement with the case has ended. Besides, I know as much as she does and I saw everything she saw. Don’t sweat it.”
Ben knitted his brow and drew in a deep breath. Still staring at Sterling, he exhaled heavily. “Okay, I’m sorry for acting like such a jerk.”
“Now, what do you want to know?” Lacey leaned back in her chair, ready to talk.
Sterling quietly shoved her arms into her jacket, thinking how lucky she was to have such a great sister. As she walked to the door, she made a mental note to buy Lacey some double chocolate pecan ice cream — her favorite.
The phone intercom buzzed and Sterling quickly picked up the receiver. Michelle told her the Laurelwood Elementary school nurse was on the phone for Lacey.
As Sterling stood waiting in the awkward silence hanging between her and Ben, she read the look on Lacey’s face.
Lacey replaced the receiver and Sterling’s heart flinched as she watched the color drain from her sister’s face. “What’s wrong?”
“Tyler fell off the swing set at school. They’re taking him to the hospital.”
The frozen look on Lacey’s face gripped Sterling hard. Her sister had already suffered too much. “Do you want me to go with you?” Sterling grabbed Lacey’s coat and offered it to her.
Lacey mechanically pulled on her coat and smiled. “I’m sure it’s nothing. You know how schools are. They’re overreacting. Tyler is always getting scuffed up. I’ll call you.” Pausing on her way out the door, she added, “I’m sorry, Sterling. I guess you’ll have to talk over the case with Ben.”
Sterling waved dismissively. “Don’t worry about it, Lacey. Just go and take care of my nephew.”
Sterling tossed her jacket on a nearby chair, keenly aware of the tension filling the space inside the four walls.
Ben thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “I guess you’re stuck with me, babe.”
Sterling gritted her teeth. He knew she hated being called “babe” — it sounded so dismissive — but she would not grant him the satisfaction of an angry reaction. Drawing up her composure, she calmly slid into her chair and faced Ben. “What do you want to know?”
Ben shifted in his seat. “What is your relationship with Sara Rutherford?”
“She’s a client. You know that.”
“Do you know the whereabouts of her husband, Jerry Rutherford?”
“No, I’m not working on the case.” Sterling felt like she was sitting under an interrogator’s hot lights. Ben knew how to put on the pressure. On top of that, there was so much unnamed electricity arcing between them it felt like they could combust.
Ben shifted in his seat and Sterling got a whiff of his cologne. The spicy fragrance brought up so many memories and the very feelings she did not want to feel. She cleared her throat and waited for Ben to continue.
“Do you know where Mrs. Rutherford was at nine A.M. yesterday morning?” he asked, leaning forward.
“No. What are you getting at?”
“I’m merely covering all aspects of the investigation. Have you forgotten the basic rules of investigation?”
Sterling was on her feet. Hands planted on her hips, she stared him down. “Don’t patronize me. Why do I get the feeling Sara is a suspect?”
Ben leaned back against the couch. “I’ll ask the questions,” he said, setting his jaw. “Did Sara know about the mistress?”
“You’re joking, right? Sara is not a killer.”
“I’m not suggesting anything.”
“I can read between the lines. What kind of evidence do you have?” Sterling strode in front of her desk to stand directly in front him. Ben seemed calm, in control. It made her insides squirm.
“I never said Sara is a suspect.”
“So she’s not a suspect?”
Standing to his feet, Ben looked down at her with those eyes and sent chills running through her. His look was cold, shielded.
“Can we get back to where I ask the questions?”
Sterling swallowed hard and turned away. “Strong-arming me isn’t going to get you anywhere. Besides, I have other appointments.” She turned back to face him.
Ben shrugged. “Have it your way. Maybe we better stop right here, but you know I’ll be back.”
“I’m sure you can find your way out.” With the sense of him nearly overpowering her, Sterling busied herself with papers.
Silently, Ben walked to the door. Sterling couldn’t stop herself. She turned to watch him and then it was too late. She couldn’t pull her eyes from his strong frame. Even dressed in his conservative suit, he exuded untamed masculinity. His thick, dark hair shone like a luxurious mane. His strong shoulders, his sure stride — all declarations of his wild spirit.
He paused at the door without turning around. “Please tell Lacey I hope her son is okay.” Leaving the door ajar, he was gone.
Sterling quickly stepped to the door and soundly shut it. If only she could so easily shut him out of her thoughts.
The sooner this case is closed, she told herself, the sooner I’ll be done with Ben.
Still, she couldn’t shut out the small voice inside her head that questioned, would she ever truly be done with Ben?
• • •
Ben wiped the sweat out of his eyes with the back of his hand and reached up again for the bar. Bench-pressing his usual two hundred and fifty pounds, he gritted his teeth and willed his mind to focus on the fifth repetition.
Thoughts of Sterling had been working his mind, stirring up emotions, ever since the moment he’d walked up to her at the Witt murder scene. It didn’t help that this morning when he’d dropped by the Aegar Investigations office Sterling had looked flawless, perfect. Her red suit was the picture of professionalism, but it couldn’t hide her gentle curves. And he could never forget the exquisite joy of running his hands along those sweetly feminine curves.
“Okay, let’s add another twenty pounds, Chris,” Ben said, sitting up and reaching for another weight. It’s the past, man. Forget it.
“What are you training for, the Olympics?” his spotter asked, adding on another steel weight to match the one Ben added.
Lying back down on the weight bench, Ben ignored Chris’s question. Best if no one knows what’s eating me up. He reached up and put everything he had into hoisting the barbell over his head. Memories of peering deeply into the wells of Sterling’s eyes, dusky with passion, grabbed hold of his gut. The two of them had always connected in such a way that intimacy went beyond the physical realm. It bordered on the spiritual.
Well, that didn’t work. Now I sound like some gushy nut job. Ben finished the last rep. and sat up to straddle the bench. “That’s it for me, Chris. Want me to spot you now?”
“No. Thanks, Ben, but I’m done for the day. See ya later.”
Ben lumbered to the locker room. Stripping off his shorts and muscle shirt, he walked to the shower and plunged his head into the hard spray. Maybe I can wash her out.
Hadn’t he tried to pull his l
ife together after she left him? It had been damn hard and it had taken the better part of the two years, but he’d thought she was finally out. Or at least as far out of his system as he could ever hope Sterling could be.
Clearly, nothing had changed with her. Sterling wanted no part of him. Ben closed his eyes and leaned weakly against the shower wall. It still hurt. No wonder running into her messed him up so easily, he thought. A gaping hole still bled inside him where she belonged.
• • •
“Your son is going to be fine. He needs some rest and we want to observe him over night, but I expect him to be up and around in no time.” The doctor gave Lacey a reassuring look and winked at Tyler, before stepping into the hallway.
Lacey’s son’s fall from the swing had left him with a broken arm and a nasty knot on his head, along with a concussion. The doctor set Tyler’s arm in a cast and prescribed bed rest and overnight observation. He’d assured Lacey that Tyler would suffer no permanent damage. Still, standing over him while he quietly watched television, Lacey remained coiled for the worst. Fears scrambled inside her like static in a thunderstorm. Life seemed so fragile right now, and the hospital so fraught with loss. Her loss.
Catching herself mindlessly tracing an obsessive pattern on the back of her hand, Lacey wrestled down the sorrow and stretched out her limbs.
But Tyler was fine, or least fine enough for now. She would not lose her precious son.
“Aren’t you going to eat your pudding, Tyler? It’s chocolate, your favorite,” she tried brightly. “Does your arm hurt much or your head?”
“Not too bad.” Tyler flipped through the television channels, barely noticing the programming. “Why can’t I go home? I’m bored.”
“You took a bad fall, sweetie.” Amazed at his youthful resiliency, Lacey smiled at her son. His restlessness was a good sign. “The doctor wants to make sure you’re going to be all right.”
Lacey wondered if Tyler had any memory of his last visit to the hospital, of the last time he’d seen his father. “I’m going to get a cup of coffee, honey. I’ll be right back, okay?” Lacey patted her son’s shoulder, her hand ice cold.
Dancing with Detective Danger Page 4