Slowly, gently, Ben pulled her into his embrace. “Oh, Sterling. It’s okay. For now, just let me hold you.”
The constant beat of his heart pounded softly against her chest. It comforted her and drew her down to a point where everything contracted into truth and expanded into elation. “Please, don’t ever let me go,” she breathed.
Ben held her out at arm’s length, staring down with baffled eyes. “You are okay, right?” Gently, he touched the knot on the side of her head. “That’s a nasty bump Cummings gave you.”
“Stop it, you nut,” she said. “I’m fine. I’m just happy. Don’t you want me to be happy?”
Ben’s eyes shifted and concern knitted his brow. Dropping his grip on her arms, he walked across the room and stared into space. “You surely know I want you to be happy, Sterling.”
“What’s wrong?”
“What are we doing? For days you’ve been pushing me away, telling me there’s no future for us. No happily ever after for people like us. Remember?” Turning, he thrust a darkly sad gaze on her. “Never let you go? God, Sterling, do you know how I’ve longed for you to say those very words? But what does it mean?”
Her pulse skittering in her throat, Sterling went to him again. “Ben — ” Sterling rested her hand on his arm and felt the warmth of it.
“You’ve made me see that the terrible things that shaped my life don’t fit anymore. The aloneness, the deaths. They don’t have to haunt me. But I can’t help but wonder, what happens next? How long before you walk away, before I lose you again?”
“Ben,” she repeated softly, putting her finger to his lips. “Don’t say anything until I’ve finished, please.” She had to say it all just right. “Lying there in that building, I knew it was only a matter of time before those men would end my life. I was terrified. I didn’t want to die. But when I got past the fear of dying, everything unimportant fell away.”
Standing so close she could feel Ben’s warm breath on her cheek, Sterling peered into his eyes. She’d hurt him so much, could he ever trust her again? Fear clutched her heart. She had to make him see the truth as she did, like touching an icicle dangling from an eaves — the coldness of it sucks the breath from your lungs, the exquisite beauty of its clarity brings all your senses into one focal point.
“I wanted to live, but I wanted to live to be with you, Ben. Always.”
His left eyebrow lifted.
“I know you can’t guarantee me I won’t follow my family’s legacy of death. I know if you and I commit to each other, I’m risking becoming a cop’s widow. But life is made up of moments. The moment my father was taken from me left me with great pain. It’s time I realized, like Lacey said, it’s all part of living. And moments of great happiness count far more.”
Ben closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Sterling waited. She knew she wanted more than anything to dance the dance of life with him, danger or not, for the rest of her life. But did he?
Then he exhaled, as though breathing out all the pain he’d felt in the last two years. Opening his eyes, Ben gazed down at her with the same warmth she’d always counted on. But it was so much more. “Does this mean you’ll stay?”
“If you’ll have me,” Sterling managed to say over the lump in her throat.
Gentleness and sweetness swirled between them, melting her heart to his. Then suddenly Ben’s arms swept around her, pulling her in hard. His mouth devoured hers hungrily.
Wetness touched her cheek. “Ben, you’re crying,” she said, breaking from his kiss.
“You’ve always gotten to me, Sterling. I won’t deny it. You’re like breath to me. I need you, always,” he said, brushing away a matching tear from her cheek.
“You have me. Always.”
Epilogue
Two years later …
“You’re doing great, Sterling,” Ben said, gently wiping perspiration from her brow.
“Great? Are you kidding? This is very painful.”
“Okay, Mrs. Kirby, another hard push and we’re going to have a baby,” said the doctor.
Gripping Ben’s hands, Sterling pushed as hard as she could, pushing through the pain until jubilation of birth filled her.
“It’s a boy!” cried the doctor. “I don’t care how many times I’ve done this, each time I deliver a baby it feels like a miracle.”
The nurse placed the baby in Sterling’s arms. “Do you have a name picked out?”
“Joshua Jr., after Sterling’s father,” Ben answered, pride shining from his face.
“Joshua Jr.,” Sterling echoed. “That has a very nice ring to it. Life goes on.” Sweet thoughts of her son’s namesake warmed her heart. I’m not so afraid anymore, Dad. I love you. Always.
“He’s beautiful, Sterling.” Caressing Sterling’s head, Ben added, “Guess we can add another precious moment to our life. And something tells me there’s going to be plenty more.”
About the Author
A freelance writer who writes for various commercial publications, Lynn Crandall lives in a small town in the Midwest with her husband and writes romances in the company of her two cats. When not writing, she likes to read — a lot — hike, and spend time with family. Learn more about her at www.lynn-crandall.com, http://lynncrandallwriter.wordpress.com and visit her blog at http://thewritewaycafe.blogspot.com
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Dancing with Detective Danger Page 19