“Maybe they want us to do exactly what we have been doing. Stopping shit before it happens. Giving us a heads up. If we know, we can’t ignore. Maybe they’ll stop when we’ve done a good enough job of listening.”
“I don’t think they’ll ever stop, not even when I’m dead.”
We hugged and held onto each other, and then we said goodbye. I left my dark warrior in the protection of his army, and knew he would be cared for. He is my brother. We would be forever connected.
23.
Kevin’s car was predictably him, a nineteen seventies Jaguar XJ12. He wasn’t joking when he’d said she was a beauty. The best part was that it housed the smell of Kevin. The tank was full. My mind was focused. I had another promise to keep. I entered the highway and headed west towards Sunny, and threw the hair color onto the back seat. I felt no sorrow. I had no regrets. I had killed a man and if faced with the same situation my actions would not differ. After every ending, whether good or bad, there is a beginning. This end was no different from any other. It was time to create a beginning for myself, by myself. The crew would forever be part of my whole. They would stay in the background of any life I chose. I would learn to accept what I’d been given and stop trying to be their master, but would never become their slave. I was their equal. We would walk the path together.
Life, or the prospect of it, had not been anticipated less than thirty hours earlier. In that moment I felt as if I’d jumped off Mount Everest, and landed on my feet. I was tough of body, and mind. I would live alone, but not lonely. I had a family with Kevin, Jade, and the Crewbies. When my thoughts took me to Sunny I would remember Joshua Caleb and my family that lived in the hills. I would think about Jima and find comfort in knowing she had the ring, and I’d kept my promise. Jim would be there in my thoughts. He’s wrapped around every part of me. I would never love another man the way I loved him. I visualized myself living in a city, and waiting tables at the local diner.
Within a half hour I was driving past the burned out fields that led to my house. The trees had been burned to stumps, and offered little camouflage for the car, but I wasn’t worried. I hadn’t seen a government agency or police car for miles and while the trees didn’t hide me, they couldn’t hide anyone else either. The air still smelled of watered down ash.
The house had been cleaned and looked as if I’d never lived in it. Hung on the wall—next to the etched portrait of Momma—was an etching of me. The same artist had signed both. I looked in the bathroom and bedroom, and was not surprised to see all the toiletries and furniture removed. The kitchen was emptied as well. I pulled a pad of paper and pencil out of my bag and began to write a note. I wanted to thank Joshua and the Caleb clan for helping me, and taking care of the house. I was startled when I heard the back door open.
“It’s just me, Joshua Caleb. I saw the car. I figured you’d be stopping by sooner or later.” He stood in the living room with his hat in his hands and nodded. He wasn’t much for affection, but then again neither was I. “I didn’t believe the newspaper when they wrote you’d gone off to Mexico.”
“Is that what they’re saying?”
“It is. I don’t want to keep you just wanted to make sure of things.”
“I was writing you a note. I wanted to say thank you. I wanted to thank you and yours for what you did for Momma and me. I’ll never forget you.”
“I’ll count on that,” he said and smiled. I could see my own smile in his.
“I want you to own the land,” I said. “It’ll take some time to make it legal. In the meantime, I’ll send you a letter that will say it’s yours. It won’t stand up in court, but at least it’s something. When it’s all said and done, I want to make sure this land stays in the family.”
“Don’t fret little one,” he said. “It’ll all settle someday. We’ll take care of the land as we always have until it’s needed again. No one can truly own God’s property.”
“That’s a sweet thought but I don’t think the government would agree with your philosophy.” It would be nice to think Joshua and the family would be able to live in peace. Nice thought, but not practical. The media was as relentless as the law. If, and when they discovered the house, land or journals they would find the hill people.
“I’ll leave Momma’s journals where I found them. You’ll keep them safe?”
“Safe and sound. I’m happy to have enjoyed time with you despite the hurriedness,” he said, put on his hat and tipped it.
We shared a look of concern as we heard the sound of a truck pulling up to the house and listened as the visitor walked to the front door and knocked. “Shanna, you in there?” Joshua and I exhaled from relief after hearing Jim’s voice.
“You should tend to your company, and I’ll be going.” After saying those words Joshua Caleb vanished out the back door. I grabbed the keys to the jag, and headed out the front door without saying hello to Jim. He followed close behind and helped me bring in the boxes of Momma’s journals. We stacked them on the living room floor.
“Did you see Joshua?” he asked.
“I did,” I said. “It’s not safe for you to be here, around me.”
“It’s not safe for you either,” he said. “Can I at least give you hug?”
“It’d be easier if you didn’t.”
“You’re acting like this because you’re sad. Anger always was an easier emotion for you to handle,” he said. “You haven’t changed a bit.”
“I’ve changed more than you could imagine.”
“Remember when we almost got married?”
“I remember losing the baby, and not being forced to get married.”
“I remember begging you to marry me baby or not. You didn’t talk to me for two months after that. It was because you were sad and being around me made it all the worse,” he said. “I love you. Even if you can’t hear me, even if you can’t speak to me, I still love you. I won’t lose you again.”
“Well Jim life’s unfair that way. Sometimes you don’t get what you want or need.”
“Do you love me?”
“Don’t,” I demanded. “Just don’t.”
“Why is it so damn hard for you to show emotion?”
“Don’t,” I repeated.
“I sold the land,” he said out of the blue. “The equipment too.” He looked at me and grinned.
“You swore you’d never sell that land. That’s your daddy’s land, family land.”
“I sold it to Mr. Randall. He’s not going to farm it. Only wants it for the mineral rights,” he said. “That’s all it’s good for anymore.”
“Why would you? What do you plan on doing?” He looked at me with that silly grin still on his face. I could easily read his mind. “No. You’re not going with me. What about Jima?”
“She’s ready to go,” he said.
“What about your mother, Aunt Picky?” I argued. “Those two are not about to let her go. And what about Jason? Are you going to leave them to take care of themselves?”
“I think they’ll manage,” he laughed at my suggestion they couldn’t live without him. “Besides, Picky and mom will probably enjoy the peace and quiet. Jason’s going to take his share, and move to Sweetwater. He's going to school and will look in on the sisters.”
“I can’t say I’m unhappy for Jason. He hates it here,” I said. “I know your mom can’t be happy about you leaving, especially with Jima.”
“It’s not as bad as you think,” he said. “They want a good life for Jima, and they know Sunny is a dying town. It’s the best move for all of us.”
“You can’t go with me Jim,” I said. As much as I wanted to remain angry it became impossible when I looked into his blue eyes, and saw the pain I was causing. “It’s not possible. It’s not safe.”
“Why don’t you let me decide what’s safe for us,” he said.
“Let you decide? You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, not to mention Jima.” I had to convince him that I was right.
“Listen Shanna.”
“No Jim, you listen to me. I hear voices that tell the future. When I left and went to Dallas, I lived there with what I thought were good people. They weren’t who they claimed to be, and only used me for their benefit. When the shit hit the fan they pushed me out the door and sent me here and almost succeeded in getting me killed. Of course if I’d been killed, I couldn’t be buried here. Not with that slab of concrete over the family plot. Albee made sure she wouldn’t have to spend eternity anywhere near me.”
“She didn’t do that, the town did,” he said. I wasn’t about to stop him from telling me this story. “Some of the same kids that started the fire were caught trying to dig up Anna Ruth’s grave a few years ago.” His face flushed with shame. “I’m not trying to make excuses for this town or anyone, but you’ve got to know.”
“I’ve got to know what?” I asked the obvious rhetorical question. “If you’re not going to make excuses then don’t.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “But, it wasn’t Albee.”
“I can’t stay, and you can’t leave. At least not with me.”
“You’ve been through some hard times. I know all about it,” he said. He moved close to me and tried to comfort me with a hug. I rejected his touch. “I talked to Kevin after you left Abilene.”
“He’s always sticking his hand where it doesn’t belong,” I said. “First, he puts his hand on the gun, and becomes a national hero. Now, he wants to rejoin the long lost lovers. Did Kevin advise you to sell the land?”
“No, again you’re jumping to conclusions. I called him. He didn’t want to tell me anything, but I got it out of him,” Jim said. “He explained everything. But none of that matters.”
“You don’t love me. You’re just trying to save me.” I had a response for whatever stupid excuse for following me he might come up with.
He stood, his hat in his hands, rocking back and forth on his boots. “My granddaddy wanted the land to better the life of his family, and heirs. I’m using it to better all of our lives. None of this matters a bit. Nothing you say or do will change my mind. You need me and I need you. The only thing I’ve ever needed is you, but you keep running away from me. This time I’m ready. If you run I’ll follow. I’m not letting you out of my sight, not again.”
“Where’s the purpose in all of this?” I asked. “The crew will take care of me. They’ve proven themselves.” I had to look away. I couldn’t abide those eyes. I took off the ring, and held it in front of Jim. “I need you to give this back to Jima.”
“Oh no you don’t,” he said and stepped back with his hands in the air. “You give it to her. You promised.”
“I am sick and tired of everyone expecting me to…to…” I started.
“To keep your word?” he finished.
“I’m sure she will understand. Please, give it to her.”
“Shanna don’t do this to us again. Let me help you.” He stepped closer to me and held my arms. “Don’t do this to us again.”
“There is no us. I’m doing what’s best for you and Jima,” I said. “I’ve already killed her mother. I’m not going to do the same to her, or you. That’s it Jim. It’s my decision and I’ve made it.” I tried to pull away from his grip, but he held tighter. “Please Jim. Let me go.” That’s when Jima came through the door. Her eyes were red, and her cheeks were stained from crying. I could tell by the look on her face that she had heard our entire conversation.
“How could you let this happen?” I demanded from Jim. That was all I could utter. My spirit was crushed. My thoughts went back to Vickie when we were seventeen. She had the same look of bewilderment and panic on her face. “Come here Jima.” I held out my arms and she ran to me with full force. I held her close and whispered in her ear. “Please don’t cry.” I sat on my knees so I could be face to face with her. She was taller than I’d realized, and I ended up having to look up at her so she joined me on the floor. “I promised you I wouldn’t take this off,” I said and gave her the ring. “Not until I could give it back to you.”
“I saw it on the video. That’s how I knew it was you,” she said. “Big Jim saw it too. We all did. We showed it to Aunt Picky, and Grandma Pilly too. Don’t worry, they’re not going to spill the beans. They swore to me on the Holy Bible they wouldn’t. Right daddy?” She put the ring back on the chain around her neck and stood up.
“I was going to tell you everything on our way out of town,” Jim shrugged.
“We’d better get while the getting’s good,” Jima said. “No time like the present now is there?” Jima went to the front door. “Well come on let’s shake this town.” She was giddy with excitement and wonder of what might lie ahead of her. I was about to be the sledgehammer to her dreams.
I got my bag and headed to the door. “You need to handle this Jim.” I turned the doorknob and glanced at Jima. “You can’t go with me Jima. Your daddy will explain.”
Jima was on my heels as I went outside. She reached out for my arm and I avoided her hold. “Daddy do something,” she screamed through her sobs. “Don’t let her go. Do something.” Jima grabbed my arm with both hands and pulled.
“Jima don’t,” Jim said and tried to pull her away. She continued to pull on me, screaming.
“Stop this now,” I said. “Someone could be watching.” Jim took my cue and led us back inside the house. “It’s too dangerous,” I said. “That video you saw was made by a very bad man. The world’s full of bad people, and some of them want to get me. If you were there with me they’d want to get you too. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“The video was made by the baby bomber,” she said, her voice rough from screaming. “Everyone knows that. The detective was the same man you went on the run with. Besides all that, you’re going to end up with us anyway you shake a stick at it. You should just accept that fact.” She looked at Jim. “Can I show her?”
“Do it quick,” he said. “She’s right we don’t need to be here much longer.” Jima ran outside to the truck.
“What is she talking about Jim?” I asked. “I’ve tried to be patient, but the longer I stay, the worse it becomes.”
“I understand. Let her do this.”
“Let her do what? Why are you making this so difficult?”
“I could ask you the same question.”
“She’s looking for a happy ever after. It’s cruel of you to let her think there’ll be one.” When Jima walked in carrying the Patient: Crew book I looked at Jim with great contempt. “Why does she have that book? She shouldn’t have that book.”
“See, it’s right here,” she said and pointed at the page. “It’s book two, we bought it in Sweetwater the day after you left.”
“Why would you let her?”
“It’s better if she knows the truth.”
“It’s better for all involved if you two go, and live your lives,” I said. “Forget about me.”
“No! Wait, it’s right here,” Jima stood between the door and myself holding the book up to my face, but I didn’t look. Prolonging the inevitable caused nothing but pain.
“Jima you’ve got to stop this. You’re letting your brain trick you into thinking they are talking about you.” I put my hands on her shoulders. “Don’t read those books anymore. Don’t let the crew or anyone else tell you how to live your life. I’m leaving—alone. You take care of your daddy, and he’ll take care of you. I promise I will always love you, and hold you right here,” I held her hand to my heart. “Now, we need to be tough. Don’t follow me. Don’t cry, and don’t make a scene.” I walked through the door and closed it behind me without looking back.
I set a course for unknown lands, and felt strong. I would be all right. On my own, and alone I would leap forward with confidence. I would create a life. I was a good five hundred miles down the road headed east, destination unknown, smack dab in the middle of nowhere and there wasn’t much to choose from on the radio. When I did find a signal, it was talk radio, and the subject was, of c
ourse, the death of the baby bomber. The stories, reports, speculations and rumors of him would take a few years to fade into history along with all unimaginable stories of human violence.
On the five-year anniversary of the baby bomber’s death a kid named Andrew Hunter would create a plan to blow up his middle school. His plan was to kill all two hundred and thirty people inside. He said he wanted to follow the path of his hero, Finneaus Albert. Twenty-four hours before Andrew was to carry out his plan a couple of strangers showed up at his parent’s house. The next day Andrew hung himself in the holding cell. He left a note that read; it is written it must be done.
You, the Crewbies, are the vessels of all that is truth and justice. Multitudes go about living their lives uninterrupted because of you. It’s not mere hundreds that you have saved—not by a long shot—it is billions. Two nuclear attacks have been thwarted along with numerous other terrorism plots. Bank robbers, rapists, murderers, thieves have all been stopped from doing their evil deeds. Great stories have been told about these legendary strangers who appear out of nowhere. Armed with the knowledge they mysteriously possess. As The Professor says, the pipe spills out onto a reckless society if left without the vessels of certainty.
I’ve lived a good life since last seeing the five of you. I’ve had my ups and downs as any person does. My journeys have been filled with adventure and I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by people who know and accept me, and my crew. There are not sufficient words in the human language to express my love and gratitude for you my dark warrior, and your army of truth.
I’ve never truly recovered from taking a man’s life. It’s the only darkness that remains. I don’t know if it is an event that one can outlive. With this being complete I live a debt free life. All promises fulfilled.
The End.
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