He spurted out a breath and pushed back from the table. “No, I’m not,” he said a little louder than he normally spoke. “See, that’s the problem. I’m not perfect, but I’m not going to disappear either. Maybe if you could grasp that I need you too, you would understand that.”
His words surprised her. Why would he get upset because she said he was good? And why would he need her?
Not understanding, she just stared at him. “What do I possibly give you that you need?”
He threw his napkin on his plate and stood up from the table as if he were angry. Within seconds, he stood at her side, and her heart thrummed nervously, wondering what he was going to do. She had never been frightened of a man before. But after Jonathan’s attack, she suddenly felt anxiety.
With one sweeping motion, Cameron pulled her from her chair and carried her out of the kitchen.
“Cam … ron?” Her voice cracked on his name. His look was intense, but he didn’t say a word as he carried her down the hallway. Tears flooded her eyes. “You’re scaring me.”
He stopped cold. “Alexandra, you’re crying? Why?”
Her body shook beyond her control or comprehension. Why was she afraid? “I don’t know.”
“You’re afraid of me? Alexandra, I wanted to show you … I’m sorry, baby. God, you thought I would hurt you?” He started walking again and entered their bedroom, setting her on the bed. “Alexandra, Dear God —” He tilted up her chin so he could look in her eyes. “It’s because of him. You’re afraid because of what he did to you. Alexandra, listen and listen to me good. I will never hurt you. Physically or mentally. You have to get over these fears that are paralyzing you.”
Tears continued to fall down her face. She was so happy earlier; she thought she was ready, but maybe Cameron was correct. Maybe she was the problem. She simply nodded, letting him know she understood. Her tears strangled any possibility of speaking.
“Alexandra, I thought the best way to explain how much I need you was to show you. I do need you. You have no idea how miserable I was before I met you. You have given my life meaning again, a second chance. And right now, I’m aching to have every bit of you. You think you are going stir-crazy. I’m so crazy in love, I can’t even think straight. I walk around like a zombie at work. Brad and the others constantly harass me. Darling, you need to make up your mind whether or not you want to marry me before I lose my mind.”
“Cameron …” She paused, thinking first before she spouted out anything she didn’t mean. She wasn’t afraid of Cameron or a relationship. She knew what she wanted.
“Yes?”
“When the cast comes off, we’ll set a date.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I don’t want to get married while hobbling on crutches. When the cast comes off, we’ll start planning. And by the time I’m completely healed, we’ll be able to spend our wedding night doing something other than you carrying me around.”
A devilish grin crossed his face. “I don’t mind that part.”
He pressed his lips against hers so forcefully that she fell back on the bed. Cameron took advantage of her position and proceeded to make love to her in his own way. He kissed her until she was breathless, and then his mouth progressed to her neck and shoulders. He took advantage of every exposed area not covered with clothing. She wished she had put on a bikini to cook.
Afterward, he sighed, exasperated enough for both of them. It was killing him too, but his control was unwavering. He simply refused to make love until they were officially married.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Cameron collapsed back on the bed, sighing heavily. He’d actually wanted to make love to Alexandra, decided to after her question. He was committed.
In his mind, he was already married. But it was Alexandra’s mind he worried about. He had wanted to show her how much he loved her, and for a brief instance, he thought that making love was going to be the way to do that.
But then, she had looked at him in fear. Because of what that idiot had done to her. She wouldn’t have thought that his plan was to carry her into the bedroom and make love to her, so she had read fury in his eyes, not passion.
As much as he wanted to be upset about her conjecture, it had saved him from making a terrible mistake. One that may have caused him the love of his life. He was certain that if he’d shattered his oath, somehow she would disappear from his life completely.
Not that he really believed God worked that way, but he may have allowed it to happen. He had asked Him to soften her heart; he didn’t need Alexandra’s heart to harden now when they were so close to forever. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Alexandra loved him; she was merely frightened of being hurt.
Cameron propped his head up with his hand and leaned over her. She looked peaceful. Her golden curls fanned out over the pillow like a sea of silk. Her skin glowed in the moonlight casting through the verticals. He loved keeping them open a fraction so that he could see her in the muted light.
Never could he have imagined that someone so beautiful, so kind, could love him. And she thought he was perfect. He was anything but perfect. Every day he felt as if he suffered for his previous sins. Alexandra had been the only good thing in his life since he was seventeen.
He had wanted her from the first time he’d seen her, and he had reached out and taken her. If he were perfect, he would have won her fair and square. Instead, he had allowed her to get pregnant by not concerning himself with protection. In a way, he’d even stalked her by waiting for her every night. And then when she’d had nowhere to go, he’d swooped in and taken over her life. All in the pretense that he was helping her. When in fact, he had wanted her so badly, he was almost happy that she had needed him.
It wasn’t because he wanted to take care of her. He knew that. He did want to take care of her, but he knew it was for selfish reasons. He wanted to prove that he could provide for her mentally and physically, so she would want him and need him.
He needed to back off, though. He needed to let her stand on her own two feet. Not that she could do that easily at the moment, but she needed independence. He needed to stop trying so hard to impress her and just let their relationship blossom from here. She’d said they would set a date; he simply had to have patience.
Saturday morning, his most dreaded day anymore, because he usually had to work twelve hours. He kissed Alexandra goodbye and left for work. He didn’t bother asking what he could do for her or insist on helping her with anything. He simply wished her a pleasant day. He hadn’t been bugging her by asking her how she spent her afternoon; he’d just been returning home as soon as he could to be with her.
Saturdays had become the bane of his existence, though. Most days he could work, sell a car, and even if he didn’t, be home by six. But Saturdays were another story. One car wouldn’t do. No. His manager wanted three cars on a Saturday. He was lucky if he got home by nine o’clock.
Alexandra never seemed to mind. She rarely even called. Occasionally, she would ask if he wanted something to eat when he got home. But more often, she just waited until he returned home before conversing with him about anything.
The woman was the most un-needy girlfriend he had ever had. Most women he’d dated constantly called him. Argued over how many hours he worked. Sure, they liked the nice things he could buy them and where he could take them, but they nagged him the rest of the time.
Alexandra did none of those things and rarely even wanted to go out to eat. She seemed completely content to sit at home most evenings and watch TV. But she was getting restless because of her leg and wanted to return to work. He had let that conversation drop with the intention of revisiting it at a later date. There was absolutely no reason for her to work as a waitress if she married him. If she didn’t want to go back to school, he was positive there was something else she could do that wouldn’t be such hard work and cause her to work late hours.
Sidetracked by a motorcycle pulling up outside his office, his thoughts turned to
work. He had the cubicle by the door. He had worked to get that office. That way he could make follow-up calls and continue to watch for fresh ups. Most of the salesmen were still drinking coffee and eating donuts when he left the morning meeting. He couldn’t care less to relive their Friday night adventures.
Stepping outside the building, he sauntered up to the customer. They rarely took in motorcycles as trades, but occasionally some gentleman would have to sacrifice his baby. A new wife or addition to the family would mandate its selling. Unlike his cruiser, this one was sleek and black. He could see himself on it with Alexandra on the back. Maybe if he made the sale, he’d purchase it. That’s how he’d gotten such a great deal on his Jeep. The dealership didn’t like to trade vehicles that were modified, so they’d offered the customer less than wholesale. Cameron had made the guy a fair deal on the side and then had sold him an SUV his wife had wanted.
“Nice bike —” Cameron started but stopped cold as the man removed his helmet. Quickly regaining his composure, he offered his hand. “I’m Cameron. How can I assist you today? You interested in trading in the bike?”
“Nah, just looking, name’s Jon.” Jonathan looked down at him, sizing him up, and Cameron wondered for a second if he knew him. They’d never met, but of course, Cameron had seen him outside the club and had burned his image into his head. He’d hated him from the first time he’d seen him with his arm around Alexandra. “How ’bout trucks? What can you show me in a 4x4?”
Cameron turned and walked off in the direction of the Tundras, questioning what Jonathan was really looking for. If the man didn’t have a job, how in the hell was he going to afford a new truck. And since when did he have a motorcycle. Alexandra had never mentioned it.
The heavy step of the tall man’s footsteps were right behind him. Once they got to the rear of the lot, he imagined reaching around and slamming his head against the concrete for what he’d done to Alexandra.
Deciding he didn’t want to lose his job or go to jail today, though, he said, “You looking to stay in a specific price range or payment?” he called over his shoulder.
Jonathan shoved his phone in his pocket and caught up with him. “Doesn’t matter. My mother’s buying it for me.” He smirked. “She’s trying to buy me off. Says if I go back to college and stay out of trouble, I can keep it.”
“Hmm, that’s interesting,” Cameron lied. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard that story. Parents were constantly buying their kids vehicles. One man he knew had replaced three Land Cruisers in a row after his daughter had totaled them.
Cameron couldn’t imagine doing that for his kid. His children would be taken care of, as he’d always been, but they would work for their possessions. That way they would appreciate what they had. The way his father had taught him.
Teeth clenched, Cameron did his normal walk-around as he did with any customer. After the test drive, he knew he had to ask the question he had asked a thousand times, only this time, he didn’t want a yes. He just wanted Jonathan to leave before he said something he’d regret. He wanted to pummel the guy, but he had promised Alexandra.
He forced a smile. “So, if the numbers look good, is this the truck you’d like to take home?”
“Yep, write it up. I’ll tell my mom the amount needed and be back with a check.”
Cameron sighed. How would he explain to Alexandra that he just sold a truck to her ex? “Right this way, Jon. I’ll need your driver’s license and insurance.”
Jonathan sank down in the chair Cameron pointed to, his fingers tapping away on his iPhone again. He’d been on the thing the entire time he’d been here.
He finally smacked the phone down on his lap and looked up. “Just put it in my mother’s name.” Jonathan proceeded to give him his mother’s name and address. Did Jonathan suspect he knew who he was? Maybe this wasn’t even accurate information.
“So, is this for a special day? Birthday, graduation, or something?” Cameron asked even though Jonathan had mentioned earlier that it was a bribe to stay out of trouble.
Leaning back in the chair, Jonathan flashed a cocky smile. “Actually, she’s happy that I broke up with my girlfriend and moved back home.”
Cameron blanched but recovered quickly. “Really? That seems rather controlling. Is that what you want?”
Jonathan shrugged and pulled his leg up on his knee. “My girlfriend was rather bad news. I left her after she got arrested for drug possession. She’s out now and begging me to take her back, but I have to wait until I can get everything arranged.”
“Excuse me,” Cameron said, standing up and walking around his desk. “My sales manager has to sign the purchase order.” Jonathan held up his hand as if he would touch him, and Cameron couldn’t help but puffing up, preparing for a fight. Man, he wished Jonathan would try something.
Jonathan dropped his hand. “No back and forth, Cameron. Just give me your best price, and I’ll bring you back a check.”
Cameron walked off quickly, feeling as if he would explode. How dare he accuse Alexandra of using drugs, of being bad news. He could literally strangle the loser. And then suggesting that Alexandra was begging him to take her back. It wasn’t possible.
As he left the office, Cameron heard Jonathan make a phone call. Probably telling his mommy what he’d found. What a pathetic loser. What on earth had Alexandra ever seen in him? Money? Looks? She didn’t seem the type.
After all, there was no way for her to have known that he had any money. He’d been driving his motorcycle the first time they’d met. But Jonathan’s words had done their damage; they were causing him to doubt, making him wonder about Alexandra.
Had she really been calling him? Could she possibly want him back? She had said that he’d never hit her before … that he hadn’t pushed her. Was she like all the other women he’d known? Did she enjoy men mistreating her?
Cameron had to argue with the sales manager to let Jonathan go with the purchase order. His boss, of course, wanted to know what he could do to seal up the purchase today. As much as Cameron had hated saying it, he’d had to tell him that Jonathan was an old buddy of his … assuring him that he’d be back with a check from his mother.
A few minutes later, Cameron walked back into his office and flung the purchase order on the desk. “Here you are. Just call me when you’re ready, and I’ll have the truck detailed and ready to go.”
Jonathan stood and offered his hand. “It was a pleasure doing business with you, Cameron. I’ll call you later this evening and arrange a time for us to finish our business.”
And with that, the loser strolled out of his office.
Cameron watched Jonathan drive off on his bike. East. Toward the beach. Alexandra had said Jonathan’s mother lived in Melbourne. Had she meant Melbourne Beach?
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Jonathan straddled his bike and peeled out of the parking lot toward the beach. It wasn’t hard finding what he wanted. As soon as Cameron was busy with his manager, he’d rummaged through his desk until he’d found a bill with his home address.
He had looked everywhere for Nicky for the last few weeks. Finally giving up, he’d called Lilith. As always, she’d been friendly toward him, but then Lilith had suggested he leave Nicky alone, explaining that Nicky was in love and planned to get married, and that she was even expecting a child. The man sounded really nice, she’d offered. He had a good job as a car salesman and evidently did well and owned a condo in Cape Canaveral. Jonathan had allowed Lilith to ramble on without interrupting; she never could keep her big mouth shut.
No way had Nicky gotten pregnant by someone else. If she was pregnant, the baby was his too. So, after talking his mother into buying him a new truck, which wasn’t hard to do after he’d rolled up on his new bike, he’d set out every day for the last couple of weeks with his story.
He’d discounted every car salesman he’d met before today. No doubt, Cameron was the one. Other than the fact that Cameron was tall and looked decent enough for her to
date, his look of utter shock when he’d removed his helmet had given him away.
And though the man had remained cool when he’d spoken about Nicky, he saw him clench his jaw. Jonathan just hoped that what he’d mentioned would work. Now he just had to put in to play part B of his plan. By the end of the evening, Nicky would run back to him.
It took about fifteen minutes to get to Cape Canaveral. Luckily, Cameron’s condo was directly off the main road that paralleled the beach. He’d just have to find the correct number.
Minutes later, he knocked on the door, hoping he’d been correct in his assumption that Cameron was Nicole’s new lover.
The door opened, and there she stood, on crutches. “Nicky.” He sighed, smiling. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around her. She hobbled backward out of his embrace, nearly toppling over. He reached out to keep her from falling.
“Get out,” she seethed in a hushed tone.
Jonathan stepped back but refused to leave. “Not without you. I know he’s not here. I just want to talk.”
Nicky limped forward, pushing him out the door. “Go. I’ll follow you,” she insisted, still whispering. Once outside, she turned on him again. “Why are you here? I told you it was over. Why can’t you accept that?”
“Just walk with me, okay?” He gestured toward a bench around the side of the building. “Do you need help? I could carry you.”
“I can manage,” she grumbled, hobbling up the walkway toward the wooden bench overlooking the ocean. After sitting down, she turned on him. “What do you want? Why are you here? And how in the world did you find me?”
Chuckling lightly at her demanding questions, he leaned back on the bench. She looked good, healthy. Beautiful, as always. “You look incredible, Nicky. Life on the beach is good for you. You look like the sixteen-year-old girl I fell in love with.”
She rolled her eyes. “Give me a break, Jonathan. You never loved me. I was simply something to possess. Please leave. You shouldn’t be here.”
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