“Come on.” Cole lightly tugged on her arm and she followed him closer to the building.
Nearing what used to be the front door, Katrina looked down and found a small square opening. Tears welled in her eyes. “The basement!”
“It was our place,” Cole said.
Black spots blurred her vision. She thought she was going to pass out. Seeing remnants of her past staring her right in the face was a bit much to take in. She sat down on a nearby rock to steady herself. Within seconds Cole’s hands were helping her.
Cole knelt down in front of her. “Maybe we should go?”
“No, I’ll be fine. Just need some air.” She bent over and rested her head against her hands, attempting to control her breathing. It helped a little; she didn’t hyperventilate. “It’s a little overwhelming.”
“I know it is and I’m sorry to keep putting you through this.” He placed a hand on her shoulder.
“How many times have you done this?” When he didn’t respond she looked up at him. “I need to know how many lives I’ve lived.”
“The first one was here.” He gestured towards the cottage.
“And after that?”
“The second time I found you in New York.”
Katrina felt her heart drop into her feet. “The ship!”
“Yes.”
“Is that all of them?”
“No. There were a few more.”
“How many more?”
“After that was L.A., Charleston, Chicago, and finally I traced you back here.”
Katrina’s head was spinning. She quickly did the math. Six times. She’d gone through this six times before and she couldn’t remember any of it.
“How is it possible that I could go through this so many times and not know it?”
“Each time you’re reborn, you start over. You still have the memories, but they’re buried in your subconscious.”
Staring at him she was hit with a realization. “Wait, each time I’m reborn that means—” Katrina swallowed feeling a lump in her throat.
Cole took her face in his hands and looked at her before he answered, “You died.”
He started to explain, but she felt the nausea return and quickly shut him down. “I don’t want to hear anymore. I need to get some air.”
She stood to her feet and started walking. Katrina wasn’t sure where she was going, but she felt better when she moved. And the last thing she wanted to do was go inside the cottage.
Walking through the forest, Katrina concentrated on everything she saw. It was so strange to see things from her dreams in person. She became lost in the scenery, while Cole walked beside her and never said a word.
Katrina eventually came to a small stream and kept walking in a daze. It wasn’t until she was on the other side that she realized Cole didn’t follow her. She turned and found him standing at the edge staring back at her.
“What’s wrong with you?” she shouted.
“It’s running water.”
“So?” She didn’t understand what the big deal was. It was just water.
“I can’t cross it. Not unless there’s something over it.”
“Oh.” Katrina felt stupid for not knowing and walked back towards him. “I didn’t realize.”
“It’s okay.”
“I know I keep freaking out, but these dreams are really messing with my head. I hate feeling like I have no control over who I am. Every night I go to bed wondering what horrible thing I’m going to see next.” Katrina tried to fight back her tears, which at the moment were winning.
Without a sound, Cole stepped in front of her and gently cupped her face. “I wish I could take the pain away. I hate watching you go through this.”
The longer Katrina stared into his eyes the more she had the feeling he knew more than he was saying. “You know something you’re not telling me?” He looked at her and didn’t answer right away. “Cole!”
“Every time you discover a memory I relive it all over again with you.”
“What? How?” Katrina pushed his hands away and slowly crept backwards.
Katrina looked at him and then gasped in shock at the thought. “You were in my head!”
Cole nodded. “It’s not what you think.”
“What the hell, Cole?” Anger was taking over at this point. “Don’t tell me what to think. Am I just some kind of toy to help you pass the time? Playing with my mind is some kind of game?” She edged closer, pointing a finger at him. Katrina wasn’t sure what to think. Her mind was racing a million different directions. Just when she thought she could trust him, he’d unleashed another secret. It was becoming too much. Her head started spinning out of control.
“It’s not like that.” His face was very serious.
“Then what is it? Cause messing with my head is one hell of a way to get me to believe you!” She was so angry; she could feel a part of her she didn’t recognize start to emerge. Her body tingled with electricity from within. She wasn’t scared of him; she was too pissed to let her fear win.
“No. I wasn’t. I swear,” he pleaded. “I can’t interfere. I can only be in the moment with you.”
“Why should I believe that? For all I know you could be lying to me about everything.” Tears ran down her face.
“I wouldn’t lie to you.” He started to step towards her again, this time being very cautious. “There is nothing in this world I want more than for you to remember.”
“Then why can’t you just tell me what it is I’m supposed to remember?”
“Because I can’t. You have to do so on your own.”
She was lost in her thoughts and never realized he closed the distance between them. Slowly putting his hands to her face, he forced her to look up and said, “I love you, Caroline!”
The longer she stared at him the more her feelings took over. His auburn hair looked as good as in her dreams. Even her mind hadn’t done him justice. She wanted to reach out and run her fingers through it, but stopped herself.
The fact of the matter was he lied to her and that was something she couldn’t ignore. There were too many things at stake for her to let something like that go.
“I wish I could say that I love you, but the truth is I don’t know you. Any of you.”
Cole didn’t move. She knew she had crushed him, but it was the truth. “You can’t mean that?” he pleaded with her.
“You don’t get it. I’m not your precious Caroline and I’m not so sure I want to be.” Her heart twisted as she spoke. Cole’s jaw clenched. He looked like she punched him in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him.
She felt a little guilty for saying it, but it was the truth. Things were much simpler before he came into her life.
“Caroline, please?” He attempted to step forward, but she stopped him.
“Don’t.” She held up her hand. “I don’t want to see you anymore. Just leave me alone.”
Katrina turned and walked away, never looking back
Chapter 7
Getting ready for school, Katrina felt her world was falling apart. The past week had been one of the toughest ones she’s had. The argument at the cottage replayed itself in her head constantly. She wondered if she had overreacted, but quickly assured herself that wasn’t the case. After all, he lied to her; it wasn’t the other way around.
Even still, her heart was ripped into pieces. She couldn’t even eat. Her stomach was torn into knots. Like a zombie, she had gone through her morning routine all week long and it was starting to take its toll on her.
Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen, she tried to seem cheerful. The last thing she wanted was her mother knowing about her problems. She was lucky—her mother was nowhere in sight. Jake was the only one in the kitchen.
She walked over to the fruit basket and grabbed the first apple she saw. Turning around, she leaned against the cabinet and stared at her brother.
Jake didn’t say a word or look at her. Katrina could feel the tension emanating off of
him. It was so thick, she practically drowned in it. She supposed it was her fault.
After her argument with Cole, things between her and Jake were also on rocky ground. He felt like he was torn in the middle and Katrina could understand that. She knew it wasn’t fair for him to have to choose between her and Andrew.
“Hey,” Katrina attempted small talk.
“Hi,” Jake’s cold voice hit her hard. He never even looked up at her. Instead, he kept his face buried down towards the table.
“Jake, can we talk?”
“About what?” He continued chewing his cereal, barely giving her a second thought.
“Come on. You know what?”
“Oh, that. What about it?”
“Are you still mad at me?”
“Mad at you? No.” He turned in his chair and gave her a hard look. “Disappointed, very.”
“Why?”
“You know why!”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Jake, please don’t do this.”
Pleading with her brother, Katrina felt his anger start to soften. He opened his mouth to speak, but the doorbell rang ending their conversation.
“I have to go.” He turned and walked away.
“Hello, handsome.” Hearing Andrew’s cocky voice, Katrina’s stomach turned. Cole was right outside. She stood in the kitchen and waited until they shut the door.
Peeking out the kitchen window, she watched the car make its way onto the road before she got in the truck and drove herself to school.
Shutting the truck door, she found Stacy waiting patiently. Katrina didn’t have to say anything. Stacy just knew what was wrong. Tears began to fall down Katrina’s face.
“Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry.” Stacy wrapped Katrina in a tight hug. “Boys can really suck sometimes.”
“Yeah, they do,” Katrina’s muffled voice said.
“Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together.”
“Thanks.” Guilt flooded Katrina and she cried harder. She had only told Stacy the partial truth about her and Cole’s fight. There was no way she could have told her all of it and that made her feel even worse.
“Kat, it’ll be okay. I promise.”
“I hope you’re right.” Wiping the tears away, Katrina pulled herself together and followed Stacy into class.
“Of course I am,” Stacy gave her a soft reassuring smile.
In Geometry, everything went by in a big messy blur. Katrina hated having Cole sit behind her. It was a curse.
Soon it was time for PE. Dressed and out of the locker room, she was walking out onto the field with Stacy wondering what Coach Cooper had planned for them. Since he was also the school’s football coach, he often liked to torment all of his students with the same torturous method.
“Everyone line up!” Coach Cooper’s deep voice shouted. At the sound of his voice all of the chatter died down into silence.
With his balding widow’s peak, his carrot red hair wasn’t as noticeable. Coach Cooper was the stereotypical gym teacher. He always wore the unofficial uniform: gym shorts and a plain grey T-shirt complete with the annoying whistle always draped around his neck.
“Today, we’re going to divide into teams. Half of you over here and the other half over there,” he motioned with his hands for the class to split up. “And I want an even mixture of boys and girls.”
Katrina walked over to the left side of the field with Stacy and waited. Her heart sank and she let out a moan in protest when he brought out the football. She had a hard enough time walking a straight line. Now, he wanted her to run and not get tackled on top of it. Katrina swore sometimes he lived for the humiliation of his students.
Of course she heard Mason and the other guys cheer in excitement. This only made her dilemma worse. Tackle football was forbidden during class time, but that never stopped the guys from playing rough.
“Psst, Kat.” Stacy tapped her on the shoulder.
“What?”
“You’ll do fine. Don’t worry so much.” Stacy gave her a friendly nudge.
“Right.” Katrina wasn’t convinced.
“Mason, you and Robby are team captains and make sure everyone participates.” Coach Cooper always put his jock heads in charge. She really hated favoritism.
“Sure thing, Coach,” Mason scoffed at Katrina.
Katrina knew this wasn’t going to be a good day. She was relieved Mason wasn’t her team captain and she wouldn’t have to deal with his yelling. The down side was he’d be running straight for her if she caught the ball.
In the huddle, Katrina tried to focus on everything Robby said, but she couldn’t. Her mind was too distracted by Mason sneering over his shoulder at her. He was always ready to pounce on her or Jake any chance he could. No wonder he and Brody were best friends.
“Kat!” Robby’s voice interrupted her thoughts.
“Yeah?” She turned and found his hazel eyes staring at her.
“Are you paying attention?”
“Sort of.”
Robby gave her a long look and shook his brunette head at her. “Just run, that way,” he pointed towards the end of the field. “I’ll throw it to Dallas.” He pointed to the sandy blonde jock.
“Sure.” Katrina looked at Dallas. He was as big as the rest of the football team. That was a huge sigh of relief for her. He must have picked up on her nerves because one of his hazel eyes winked at her as he gave her a quick smile.
“Positions!” Robby yelled, clapping his hands.
Here we go. She tried to psych herself up, but her nerves were getting the best of her. Katrina stood by the rest of her classmates. She never really understood football, so she pretended as best she could. When they hiked the ball, she took off running like Robby told her. It worked until she got to the halfway point and heard her name.
“Kat!” She turned and found Dallas lying in the grass with another huge jock on top of him. That’s when Robby threw the ball right to her. “Catch.”
Luckily she caught it and was quite proud of herself for a few seconds. Then the screaming of her teammates distracted her back to the awful truth. She’d caught the ball and Mason was headed straight towards her.
Katrina felt herself pick up speed. The goal was only a few yards away and her face lit up in excitement. She took her mind off everything else and focused on reaching it. She got to the last yard when she looked back and saw what she thought were two yellow eyes in the distance.
That little distraction was all Mason needed. He slammed into her and knocked her body to the ground. Katrina landed on her wrist and heard a loud “snap” followed by excruciating pain.
“Tell your brother payback’s a bitch!” Mason whispered in her ear, before he got up. The release of his added weight caused her arm to move and that wasn’t good.
“OUCH!” Katrina screamed and cradled her arm. The pain was so bad she tried to take deep breaths to keep herself together, but it wasn't working.
“Kat!” Stacy ran over to help.
“I can’t move my arm,” Katrina exhaled a deep moan of agony. The throbbing was so bad her vision started to blur and she felt like she was going to vomit.
“Take her to the office,” she heard Coach Cooper say, as his voice grew closer.
Stacy helped her to her feet and that’s when the pain grew worse. Katrina winced in pain. She tried to focus on Stacy and what she was saying, but she couldn’t. Everything in the distance was growing silent and she felt her vision narrow into a dark tunnel.
“What’s wrong with her skin? She’s pale and cold. Is she dying?” Stacy went into hysterics.
“She’s going into shock,” Coach Cooper said. “We need to get her to the nurse.”
Both of their voices were sounding distant and unrecognizable in her foggy haze. She tried to make sense of their conversation, but her head was spinning. The only thing she remembered was leaning against Stacy.
Still clutching her wrist, Katrina could hear Stacy
babbling, but none of it made any sense. Her body was drunk on pain and any of her normal functions weren’t working properly. Then everything faded into darkness.
* * *
“Kat, honey, can you hear me?” her mother’s voice shouted, as Katrina felt someone jerking her body back and forth. “Honey, move if you can hear me?”
Katrina opened her eyes and found her mothers frantic hazel eyes staring at her. “What happened?” Her voice was very weak and her throat extremely dry.
“The school called me. You hurt your wrist and passed out in shock.”
“Right.” Katrina’s eyes looked over at her wrist.
It was covered in white gauze. The throbbing wasn’t as bad as it had been earlier, but she could still feel the tenderness.
“Come on, sweetie.” Katrina’s mom helped her sit up. “We need to take you to Dr. Aldrich and have him look at that.”
“Where’s Stacy?”
“They sent her back to class. She sure made a huge fuss about it though.”
“Oh.” Katrina couldn’t mutter much else. She was still weak from passing out.
Inside her mom’s station wagon, Katrina laid her head back and closed her eyes. She never opened them until she felt the car slow down and pull into the office parking lot. Her mom came around and carefully helped her walk towards the building. They were halfway to the door, when Katrina saw the door open and Alaric standing there.
“Come in,” his calm voice said.
Katrina’s mom finished helping her the rest of the way through the door and inside. The office looked much different than she remembered. Then again it could be her nerves. Having Alaric tend to her while she’s not speaking to his son was a bit strange.
“Hello. I’m Alaric Aldrich.” Alaric reached out his hand towards her mother.
“I’m Aileen. Aileen Davenport,” her mother’s voice cracked, as she took it.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Same here.” Her mother was doing her best cheesy smile.
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