by Rachel Lacey
“I looked for you, too. I never stopped,” Ryan said as emotion welled up, squeezing his chest. He’d moved around for the last ten years looking for his brother. Trent was the only living blood relative he had, and it had been like a knife slowly twisting in his gut knowing his brother was out there somewhere. “So where’d you grow up?”
“Outside St. Louis,” Trent said.
His brother had grown up halfway across the country. Ryan still couldn’t quite believe Trent was sitting there. He looked like a pretty okay kid, baggy jeans and overstyled hair like Ryan had noticed on a lot of the local teens. Trent’s hands were soft, like he spent more time in front of an Xbox than out roaming the woods as Ryan had done at his age. Still…“So your parents—they’re okay? You’re happy?”
Trent shrugged awkwardly. Yeah, typical teenager. “They’re all right, I guess.”
“But you had a good childhood?” Because Ryan had always wondered, hoping that Trent had grown up in a stable, happy home. Their mom had OD’ed when Trent was just a baby, sparing him most of the chaos that had surrounded her. As a healthy infant, he’d been adopted quickly. Ryan, eleven when their mother died, had remained in the foster care system until he aged out at eighteen.
“Yeah,” Trent said. “It was good.”
“I’m glad. So you’re what…eighteen now? Are you in college?”
Trent shook his head. “I started college last fall, but it just wasn’t for me. I dropped out and came looking for you.”
Shit. If he’d ever found Trent, Ryan’s goal had been to get into his adoptive parents’ good graces so that he could stay a part of his life, and now he was proving a bad influence before they’d even met.
Fate had a really fucked-up sense of humor sometimes.
* * *
Emma arrived at Off-the-Grid for her eleven o’clock meeting with Ryan with her head held high. She might be mortified about how last night ended, but he never needed to know it. She stepped out of her SUV and smoothed her hands over her Artful Blooms logoed jacket and khaki pants. Last night’s almost-kiss aside, right now she was here to talk business. And if she’d left her hair down again today, well, that was because of the chilly weather, not because Ryan had said it looked beautiful. Okay, maybe it was a little bit about Ryan. Or a lot.
With her iPad in hand, she pulled open the front door and walked inside. Ryan—coming out of the kitchen while stuffing a candy bar in his mouth—nearly ran right into her. He pulled up short, his eyes settling on hers with an intensity that sent sparks ricocheting around in her belly.
“Sorry.” He wore a black fleece pullover with Off-the-Grid’s logo on it and a pair of worn jeans. And he smelled delicious, a combination of some kind of manly aftershave and chocolate—courtesy of the candy bar.
“No problem.” She clutched the iPad against her chest. Okay, so internally she was definitely not playing it cool right now, but she was reasonably sure her face remained impassive. She’d perfected the art of hiding her feelings years ago. “I thought we should walk the property together first so we can make sure we’re on the same page with landscaping. Then I’ll put together an estimate and some virtual mock-ups that I’ll e-mail you in a day or so.”
A muscle in his cheek twitched. Apparently he hadn’t expected her to launch right into business after the way they’d left things last night. “Okay.”
She turned around and walked back out the front door with Ryan at her heels. “I assume most of what we’re looking at will be here around the main building and out along the road by the sign.”
“Yeah. We want something eye-catching, maybe some nice, bright colors, especially out by the road, but it needs to be low maintenance. We don’t have any money in the budget for grounds keeping this year so Ethan, Mark, and I have got to be able to keep it up ourselves.”
“Okay. I was envisioning some beds along the walkway here, maybe African daisies. They come in pretty purples and yellows, and they’re hardy.”
Ryan shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Long as you stick to the budget, we don’t much care which plants you pick. Just don’t stick us with a bunch of hot pink roses or anything.” He cracked a smile.
“I’ll keep your manhood intact, don’t worry.” She grinned, leading the way around the side of the house. “I can put in some flowering bushes around the edges of the field. If there’s room in the budget, are you interested in reseeding the grass, too?”
“Sure.” Ryan was still watching her intently.
Every time she glanced over and caught him staring, she felt a jolt of awareness. Did he feel it, too? Or was he just uncomfortable about the fact she’d almost kissed him last night? They walked together to the sign by the road and discussed the options there. Then he led her down the path to the ropes course.
“We need to add something to hide that drainage ditch back there,” he said, pointing.
“Done.” She tapped it into her notes and marked the spot on the digital rendering of Off-the-Grid’s property on her iPad. “I can get some inexpensive shrubs in here that will hide the ditch and even look pretty while they’re at it.”
“Great.” His brow wrinkled. “Em—”
She looked away. If he had something to say, he was just going to have to come out and say it. She’d already made a big enough fool of herself.
“About last night…” He gave her a pleading look.
She cocked her head, pressing her lips together.
He chuckled. “You aren’t going to help me out here, are you?”
She shook her head with a smile. “My mom always said I was the stubborn one.”
“That makes two of us.” He took a step closer. “Look, it’s not that I wouldn’t enjoy kissing you, but—”
“Please, stop right there.” She cringed, pressing a hand over her eyes.
He peeled her hands away, holding them in his. He met her gaze, his eyes warm and rich as the earth around them. “I like you a lot, and that’s the problem. We’re friends, and I don’t want to mess that up, okay?”
She blew out a breath. What the hell could she say? “Look, I drank a lot of beer last night, and that motorcycle ride? Well, it was awesome, and I got a little carried away, but let’s just pretend that I hopped off your bike and went straight inside after, okay?”
He stared at her for a long moment, his expression so intense it was all she could do not to squirm. Then he cracked a smile. “’Kay.”
Relief loosened in her chest. “You’ll still teach me rock climbing, though, right?”
“Course.”
“And maybe take me to get a tattoo?”
He looked pained. “Em—”
“If you won’t take me, I’ll have to go by myself, and I might choose a crappy place.” Which was so not true. She would research the hell out of it before she let anyone take a needle and ink to her body, but Mandy was right. It would be so much more fun if Ryan went with her.
Heat flickered in his eyes. “What is this all about?”
She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. “Look, last night started as a dare, but it turned out to be really fun—other than that one part we’ll never speak of again.”
“A dare?”
“I was complaining to my friends about how I’m tired of being so boring—”
“Not a word I’d ever use to describe you, Em.” Something in his tone made her feel all warm and mushy.
“But I’ve always been the dependable one, right? I was the world’s most well-behaved teenager. It wasn’t a fun time for me.” Understatement of the century. She’d buried her whole family before she turned twenty. “But last night made me realize I’m ready for a change. So what do you say, will you help a girl out?”
He turned away. “I’m not that guy anymore. I can’t be responsible for corrupting you.”
Corrupting her? Was he serious? She kicked at a clump of weeds growing across the path. “God, Ryan. It’s not like I asked you for advice on how to become a
stripper.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Please promise me that you won’t.”
“Who should I go to on that one then? There was that one girl in high school who everyone said—” She broke off when she caught sight of the look of horror on his face and doubled over in laughter.
He scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “You’re messing with me now.”
“What’s up with you today? You’re not usually this serious.” In fact, he wasn’t acting like himself at all, and if this was what it was going to be like between them now, all because she’d tried to kiss him last night…
“It’s not about last night,” he said as if he’d read her mind. “Let’s start with the rock climbing lessons and take it from there.”
“Deal.” She stuck her hand out.
He took it, his big, warm hand enveloping her small, chilly one, and whoa, more sparks.
“So when do we start?” she asked, reluctantly tucking her hand into the pocket of her jacket.
“Another week or two, once the weather warms up.”
“I’m not cold.”
He stared at her for a moment then shook his head and started walking back toward the main building. “You’re trouble, Emma Rush.”
She fist-pumped the air. “Exactly what I was hoping for. See? You’re helping me out already.”
* * *
The Harley roared beneath him as Ryan hugged the mountain roads outside Haven. The wind whipped at his face and filled his lungs, cold and crisp. He could taste spring in the air, see it in the green buds on the trees along the roadside.
He’d been back in Haven almost a year now. Sometimes, it felt like he’d never left. So many things were the same, like these roads and the invigorating mountain air. Some things had changed, though. He’d changed. He wanted to make something of himself at Off-the-Grid with Ethan and Mark, something permanent and worthwhile. And now, with Trent here, it seemed more important than ever. He wanted to be someone his little brother could look up to.
When the Lamars had first begun the process of adopting Trent, Ryan got suspended from school for vandalism and was looking at time in juvie. So once the adoption had gone through, they’d moved away with him, and Ryan never heard from them again.
He’d never known his dad so the one-two punch of losing his mom and then his brother had sent Ryan into a predictable downward spiral. He’d met Ethan and Mark in a group home, all of them wards of the state. The three of them had become thick as thieves, raising hell but also forming a bond, a brotherhood that had lasted into adulthood.
Those guys, and now Trent, were all Ryan had in this world.
He turned onto Mountain Breeze Road and gunned the engine, headed back into town. He was on his way to meet Trent for burgers at Rowdy’s, but he’d needed a long ride to blow off some steam and cool his head first.
Except every time he let his mind wander, he was remembering the feel of Emma’s arms around his waist when he’d driven her home last night, her sweet, floral scent, the way she’d crawled up his back and tried to kiss him. She’d gotten her wish all right—he was definitely not still thinking about her as the tomboyish kid she’d once been. Nope, he had seen the sexy, grown-up version of her, and he liked it, a little too much.
But he didn’t like that she’d asked him for help changing her image. Because now she was doing exactly what she’d accused him of: She was still seeing him as the hell-raiser he’d been back in the day. And he was not that guy anymore. He couldn’t afford to be that guy, not if he wanted to stay part of Trent’s life.
He roared past Off-the-Grid, waving at Ethan and Gabby standing by Ethan’s red Jeep, then grimaced when he saw what they were doing. “Yo, get a room!” he yelled.
Ethan flipped him the bird.
Shaking his head, Ryan followed Mountain Breeze Road to its end, then swung a right onto Main Street. As luck would have it, he rolled into an open spot right in front of Rowdy’s. Trent stood out front, hands shoved into the pockets of an oversized gray hoodie with MISSOURI COLLEGE written in big letters on the front and a black knit cap pulled low over his ears.
He couldn’t have looked any more like an awkward teenager if he’d tried.
Ryan pulled off his helmet and glasses. “Hey.”
Trent’s eyes were almost as big as his face. “That’s a sweet ride. It’s yours?”
Ryan nodded as he swung off the bike. “Hungry?”
“Yeah.”
Inside Rowdy’s, their waitress showed them to the table Ryan and his friends usually occupied—off to the side with a view of whatever game was on the big-screen TV over the bar. The place occasionally lived up to its name on a Friday or Saturday night, but at six o’clock on a Tuesday, it was a perfectly respectable place to bring his teenage brother for a burger.
His brother.
Ryan shook his head as he looked at the skinny kid across from him. “Still can’t quite believe you’re here.”
“My folks are super-pissed.” Trent said it with the kind of smug satisfaction Ryan might have felt at that age. Today, it twisted uncomfortably in his gut.
“They know you’re here?”
Trent nodded.
“You got plans? Going home? Back to college?”
His brother shrugged. “Thought I might hang here awhile, if that’s cool with you.”
“It’s definitely cool with me, man, as long as you’re not using me to piss your parents off.” Ryan gave him a hard look.
Trent lifted a shoulder. “Don’t care either way.”
“How are you paying for all this?” Ryan asked.
“I’ve got a credit card,” Trent said. “Just charging stuff until I get a job.”
Their waitress came over, and they ordered burgers, chocolate milkshakes, and a plate of cheese fries. It seemed like appropriate chow for the occasion. While they ate, Ryan learned that Trent had been a business major for the short time he’d been in college before he dropped out to try his luck as a dubstep DJ. Ryan managed to keep his opinion on that decision to himself.
But in doing so, he realized something. Trent’s parents had always seen him as a bad influence. If Ryan was able to convince his brother to go back to college, he might finally win them over. Now that Trent was legally an adult, he didn’t need his parents’ permission to visit, but Ryan didn’t want to play it that way if he could help it. He was a decent human being, dammit, and he wanted them to see that. He wanted a permanent place in his brother’s life, and it would be so much easier if the Lamars weren’t constantly trying to push him out of the picture.
He glanced up to see Ethan and Mark coming toward their table.
“We heard there was a family reunion happening without us,” Ethan announced as he and Mark dropped into two empty chairs at the table. “I’m Ethan Hunter. We’re practically related, too, since I consider both of these guys to be my brothers.”
Trent just stared, but his eyes had gotten really wide again.
“Mark Dalton,” Mark said. “Don’t mind him. He hit his head a lot when he was a kid.”
Ryan shook his head with a laugh. “These two idiots are my business partners. We own Off-the-Grid Adventures together, but yeah, as kids we were foster brothers. They’re my family here, which makes them extended family of sorts for you, too.”
“Oh. Okay.” Trent gulped from his milkshake.
“You should come out tomorrow. I’ll take you for a ride on the zip-line course.” Ethan, with his unruly shock of blond hair and easygoing smile, was the fun-loving adventurer of their group.
Trent’s eyes lit with interest. “Cool.”
“It’s way cool,” Ethan told him, digging into their plate of cheese fries. “So how long are you in town?”
The kid shrugged. “Awhile, I guess.”
“Need a place to stay?” Ethan asked.
“Yeah.”
“I’ve got a place,” Ethan said.
Ryan slapped the table. “Your condo? That’s perfect.”
Hi
s friend nodded. “I was thinking about renting it out soon anyway. I’m basically living at Gabby’s house now. She’s my fiancée,” he told Trent.
“You’ll need a job, too,” Ryan said. “We can always use some extra help at Off-the-Grid, long as you don’t mind getting your hands dirty.”
Trent definitely looked interested. “Yeah. That sounds great.”
“We’re all really glad you’re here,” Ethan said.
Mark nodded, always a man of few words. He’d left the Army last year after getting blown half to pieces in Iraq. A deep scar creased his right cheek, but the other scars—the ones you couldn’t see by looking at him—might cut even deeper. He’d never told them what happened, but Ryan assumed it had been bad.
“Do you have a lot of family back in St. Louis?” Ryan asked. It was flat-out weird knowing so little about his brother or how he’d grown up.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m an only child, though…I mean, for a while I thought I was. Once my folks told me about you, I started trying to find you.”
“You know he never quit looking for you either, right?” Ethan said, his expression serious.
“Yeah.” Trent fiddled with his milkshake.
“You’re welcome to stay with us here in Haven as long as you like,” Ryan told him. “You have family here now, too.”
* * *
Emma took a deep breath and clicked on the big, red Submit button in the middle of her screen. There. She’d done it. She’d officially applied for college. She’d taken the first step toward fulfilling her dream of owning her own landscape design business.
Moving to Georgia to get her degree was phase two of her “new Emma” plan. Phase one involved cutting loose and having fun while she was still here in Haven. And she planned to have a lot of fun. Just not at this exact moment because, right now, she was borderline late for a meeting.
She closed her laptop, grabbed her purse, and headed for her car. Ten minutes later, she was hustling across the town square, careful not to lose her footing in the damp grass. Her bosses, Lucas and Mary Pratt, the owners of Artful Blooms Landscape Design, had asked her to meet them here, which meant this was probably a pretty big project, and she didn’t want to make a lousy first impression on the potential new client by being late.