by Rachel Lacey
Chapter Twenty-four
Ryan had been riding the empty, winding roads outside Haven for hours, trying desperately to calm the chaos tumbling around in his brain. After Trent left, he’d called the Lamars to let them know what had happened, and Kate had promised to stay in touch when she heard from him. At least he was finally on speaking terms with them. That had to count for something. Ryan gunned the engine and let the beast beneath him roar. As he rode by Emma’s apartment for the third time, he realized he had a problem.
The fourth time? He had identified the problem. It was Emma, but she wasn’t a problem. She was the solution to his problem, and he’d been too stupid to see it. He hadn’t been with another woman, hadn’t even looked at another woman in almost a year. Emma had been in his head almost since he returned to Haven, long before he slept with her. He kept pushing her away because of the promise he’d made Derek, but he’d also promised to look out for her, and what better way to look out for her than to be with her?
Before he realized where he was headed, he found himself parking the bike in front of the town commons. The flowers Emma had planted rippled in the breeze, their vivid red color muted to a steely gray under the cover of night. He walked to the memorial and stood there, squinting to pick out Derek’s name on the darkened stone surface, illuminated only by the faint glow of a nearby streetlight.
“Wish I could have this conversation with you in person,” Ryan said. More than anything, he wished he could get his buddy’s blessing on what he was about to do. “But I need to believe that you’d be okay with this because I promise you I’m going to do anything and everything I can to make Emma happy if she’ll give me another chance.”
He stood there with his hands shoved into his pockets, staring at Derek’s name on the memorial. The memorial that Emma had designed. She’d brought so much color, so much life, to this formerly barren part of the commons.
So much color to his life.
Ryan had no fucking clue how to make a relationship work, let alone a relationship with a woman as incredible, as sweet and funny and vibrant and beautiful, as Emma. She was leaving town in a few days, but it didn’t matter. If she was willing to give him a second chance, they’d find a way to make this work. Hell, he loved riding his bike. He’d ride to Georgia once a week if he had to, just to see her.
He stepped closer to the memorial, touched his fingertips to Derek’s name, and took a silent oath to make his buddy proud, to take care of Emma the very best way he knew how. Then he strode back to his bike and pointed it toward her house.
This time, when he rode by her place, he pulled into the driveway and parked. He checked the time on his phone and cringed. It was one thirty in the morning. On a Monday night. As usual, his timing was all wrong.
So he just sat there staring at her front door, wondering what she was doing. Sleeping, no doubt. In the buff? In some kind of sexy nightie?
In answer to his question, the front door opened, and she appeared in the doorway, squinting out at him. She wore short pink sleep shorts and a matching tank top, her hair wild and messy around her face as if she’d just rolled out of bed.
He’d woken her in the middle of the night. He was such an asshole. He ought to leave now. Instead, he took off his helmet and swung off the bike.
“Ryan?” She blinked at him as if not entirely sure she wasn’t dreaming.
“Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t realize how late it was.”
She scrunched her nose, looking adorably confused. “What are you doing here?”
“I’ve been riding. Thinking.” And hell, there was no going back now. “Can I come in?”
She pulled herself up taller, crossing her arms over her chest, a wary look in her eyes. “No.”
He dragged a hand through his hair. “Fair enough. I have a few things to say if you’re willing to listen.”
“I don’t know, Ryan.” She stared at him, her blue eyes full of hurt and distrust. “I think…I think I’m still too angry.” Her voice caught, and he felt like someone had just stomped on his chest.
He’d done this to her. Goddammit. “I came to apologize.”
“It better be a good one or else I might really lose it.” She planted her hands on her hips.
“Christ, Emma.” He fumbled his helmet, and it hit the pavement with a crash. He was absolutely terrified he was going to fuck this up and lose her forever. Maybe he already had. “I’m going for the biggest apology of my life here, up to and including groveling. Begging. Whatever you ask, I’ll do it.”
Her eyes widened. “Okay, come in.”
She turned, motioning him to follow her inside, and staggered slightly.
He grabbed her shoulder, steadying her. “You okay?”
“Yep, just…still feeling the effects of girls’ night.” A smile flickered on her lips, and he realized she was tipsy, if not drunk. At one thirty on Monday night, or Tuesday morning, or whatever the hell day it was.
She stepped backward out of his grasp and stood there in the middle of her living room, just watching him.
“Emma, I sure as hell hope you’re sober enough to remember this because I have some pretty important things to say.”
She swallowed hard but said nothing.
“I’m so fucking sorry for everything I said the other night. I was a total asshole for taking my frustration with Trent out on you. You were right. I was too hard on him. He left. He’s moving back home with his parents.”
Her mouth formed an “oh,” and her eyes welled with sympathy.
“But that wasn’t why I broke up with you. I did that because I’m a coward. I was scared of what’s happening between us…and, Emma, I was terrified you were going to give up your dreams to stay here in Haven because of me.”
She opened her mouth to speak.
“Wait, let me get this all out before I lose my nerve.” He let out a rough laugh, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. His hands were all over the place. He had no idea what to do with them. And then he looked at Emma.
The expression on her face cracked his heart wide open.
He loved her. He’d always loved her. Granted, he’d loved her in a purely platonic way until recently, but now? Now he loved her with every fiber of his being, and there was nothing platonic about it. “So I’m here to beg for your forgiveness on the condition that you promise you won’t derail your plans for me. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, we’ll make it work, Emma. I’ll ride out to Georgia as often as I need to.”
Tears spilled over her eyelids, splashing down her cheeks. “You can’t derail my plans because I already did that myself. I’m staying in Haven. I’m taking over Artful Blooms with Mandy, and I’ll get my business degree online in the evenings.”
He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless, but she hadn’t forgiven him yet. “That’s amazing. You’ll be running your own landscape design firm four years earlier than you thought.”
“And I’ll be living out my dream right here in Haven.” She smiled softly. “So I’m staying, and it has nothing to do with you. Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?”
“One more thing.” He drew a deep breath and took her hands in his. “I love you.”
“What?” More tears were sliding down her cheeks now.
He had no idea if he was doing this right, but now that he’d said the words out loud, he’d never felt more exposed. He’d overheard her confessing her love for him, but she’d never said it to his face. “I’m in love with you, Em. I’ve always loved you, even when you were just Derek’s pesky little sister. You’ve always felt like a part of my family, in a totally non-incestuous kind of way—” He grimaced. Shit. He was terrible at this.
Emma dissolved in a fit of giggles, tears still pouring down her cheeks, reminding him that she was borderline drunk. Jesus.
“It wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized we could be more than friends, and Em, we are so much more. So damn much. You’re all I can think about. You make me laugh
at the weirdest fucking moments. Like right now.” He choked on a laugh, his throat gone tight. “And when we’re making love. Nothing feels right when we’re not together. I can’t imagine ever being with anyone else. Please tell me we still have a chance together.”
She flung herself in his arms, her arms around his neck, laughing and crying, her forehead pressed against his. “I’ve always loved you, too, Ryan. Since we were kids. Never anyone else. You’re it for me.”
Relief pulsed through him, making him dizzy. “I am absolutely crazy for you.”
“And this thing between us is crazy-good.” She hiccupped, her chest heaving as she smiled through her tears.
“Yeah, it is.” He crushed his lips against hers, desperate to taste her after two long days without her. They kissed for a long time, and he felt whole in a way he never had before. He’d been a lone wolf for a long time, too fucking long. Now he had Emma, the woman he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had Trent, because he was going to go after the cocky-ass kid and smooth that over, too. And he had the rest of their circle of handmade family. If this was what settled felt like, he wanted more.
“Will you stay?” she asked, her dewy eyes glazed with desire—and maybe still alcohol.
“I don’t see where I have a choice,” he said, fighting a smile. “In case you have trouble remembering any of this in the morning, I’d better be here to remind you.”
“I won’t forget. But I might ask you to tell me again in the morning just for fun.”
“Gladly.” He carried her toward her bedroom. He’d happily profess his love for Emma every day for the rest of his life.
Epilogue
Two Months Later
Emma stared at the plastic stick in her hand. She gave it a little shake, as if that might somehow change the plus sign to a minus. Because yeah, she was two weeks late and right now she felt like she might hurl, but pregnant?
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees until the spinning sensation in her head had stopped. This was so not part of her plan right now. She and Mandy had just taken over Artful Blooms. She was knee-deep in the Silver Springs Lodge project and a few weeks into her first semester of business school.
She didn’t have time for a baby right now. A baby. Her eyes welled with tears. Holy crap. She and Ryan had made a baby together. That was…amazing…and terrifying…and wonderful.
How would he react? They’d only been together a few months. Their love was still so new. They’d never even mentioned marriage, let alone starting a family. Something warm grew in her chest, spreading through the panic clutching at her insides.
A baby. Her and Ryan’s baby.
She let out a shaky breath, tossed the pregnancy test in the trash, and walked outside to her car, unable to wait another moment to tell him. She drove straight to Off-the-Grid and parked, still in somewhat of a daze.
“Hey, Emma,” Ethan called, waving as he walked toward the zip-line course.
“Is Ryan around?” she asked.
“He’s down by the ropes course fixing a loose board.”
“Thanks.” She walked briskly down the path until the ropes course came into view.
Ryan sat straddling the top of the climbing wall, hammer in hand. A huge smile covered his face when he saw her. “Hey, Em. What’s up?”
“I’ve got something to tell you, but you might want to come down from there first,” she said, anxiety knotting in her stomach.
Ryan’s smile faded. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just come down. Please.”
He dropped to the ground and walked to her, taking her hands in his. “You’re shaking. What’s wrong?”
“I’m…” She sucked in a breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Ryan was silent for a beat, his expression hidden behind his mirrored lenses. Then his arms were around her, her body crushed against his as he spun her around, kissing her like crazy. “No shit?” he said as he lifted his head.
She nodded, her heart pounding against her ribs. “I just took a test. We’ve been careful, but—”
“So this is what they warned us about in all those sex ed classes in high school,” he said, but he was grinning widely, his arms still warm and tight around her.
“I guess. It’s the worst possible timing.” Tears welled in her eyes. “With work, and school, and you and I just…”
But Ryan was shaking his head. “Remember that night at the commons? We were eating cupcakes, and we talked about how the best things in life are the ones we never saw coming. This is one of those moments, Emma. This might be the biggest moment in our lives.”
“Really?” She dabbed furiously at the tears spilling over her cheeks.
He released her, and she took a step back. He reached down and pressed his hand against her stomach. “A baby. Our baby. I don’t know when it happened, but I know it’s amazing.”
“Our baby,” she whispered, resting her hand over his.
“I bet it was that night a few weeks ago when we christened the back of the truck.” He was still grinning, and if she wasn’t mistaken, tears glistened in his eyes, too.
“That was quite a night.” She laughed through her tears, remembering how they’d made love in the bed of his truck, a pile of blankets beneath them, a blanket of stars overhead.
“Emma,” he said, his voice gone low and serious.
“Yeah?”
He walked to the edge of the clearing and bent down. When he came back, she saw that he had a flower in his hands, one of the red poppies she’d planted there last month. He went down on one knee in front of her, and everything spun out of balance…
“This isn’t how I imagined doing this, but then again nothing between us has ever gone the way I thought it would. I thought you were just my friend, but I was wrong. I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love anyone. We haven’t talked about it, but I’ve known for a while I want to spent the rest of my life with you and start a family together.”
She pressed a hand to her mouth, too overcome to speak.
“And there’s nothing I’d love more than for you to say you’ll marry me.”
“Yes.” Her voice was a hoarse whisper, her throat painfully tight. “It’s what I want, too, more than anything.”
He took her left hand in his and wound the stem of the flower around her finger, creating a makeshift ring. She stared at it, that beautiful red poppy nestled on her finger as a symbol of Ryan’s love and their future together. It was more perfect than any ring he could have given her.
“I love you so much, babe.” He stood and pulled her into his arms. “I can’t fucking wait to marry you and start our life together.”
Neither could she.
* * *
Four weeks later, they stood on a grassy overlook at the bluffs. Not the top. Emma’d had some ideas, but Ryan had won out as the voice of reason. They simply couldn’t ask their wedding guests to hike to the top of the bluffs, and neither was he about to let his pregnant wife-to-be climb up there in her wedding dress.
Emma stood before him now, wearing the same dress Ethan had seen photos of on Gabby’s phone. It had little pink flowers across the front and a long flowing skirt, and Ryan could hardly draw breath she was so fucking gorgeous.
Mark stood in front of them, looking awfully damn official in a black suit, their vows in his hands. He’d gone and gotten himself ordained for the occasion. Ethan, Gabby, Trent, Carly, Sam, Mandy, and Jessica rounded out their little wedding party.
“By the power vested in me by the State of North Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Mark said.
Emma leaped into his arms with a kiss that set his heart ablaze with love. For their future, and their family, and a lifetime of happiness. Everyone rushed in to congratulate them.
“I still can’t believe you beat me to the altar,” Gabby said in mock anger, tears streaking her cheeks.
“I can’t either.” Emma’s giggles were mixed with her own tear
s. “But we’ll be doing this again for you and Ethan in just a few weeks.”
Trent stood beside Ryan, tugging at the ever-present beanie on his head. “Congrats, you guys.”
“Thanks, man.” Ryan clapped his brother on the back. “So glad you’re back.”
Emma flung her arms around Trent. “I’m so happy to have you as my brother-in-law.”
Trent had come back to Haven last month and was taking classes at the local community college, working toward his degree at his own pace while still DJ’ing once a week at The Music Factory. He and Emma often commiserated about homework.
“Can you believe it?” Emma whispered in Ryan’s ear, her arm going around his waist.
“I’m afraid to blink sometimes. So much has changed.”
“Yeah.” She was beaming, the happy glow in her cheeks the only visible sign of the baby who’d jump-started their happily ever after. “When I said I wanted to shake things up this year, I had no idea what I was starting.”
“This may be the wildest ride of all.” He leaned in to kiss her. “I’m absolutely crazy for you, today and always.”
“Me, too,” she whispered against his lips. “Me, too.”
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Can’t Forget You.
Available Winter 2017
Chapter One
Jessica Flynn picked her way along the grassy roadside. To her right, the forest beckoned, wild and beautiful. The timing wasn’t perfect, but after eyeing this undeveloped tract of land next to her spa for years, it had finally been put up for sale. And now it was going to be hers.
She rubbed at the headache squeezing her temples, remembering—belatedly—that she’d meant to take some ibuprofen before she headed out to meet with the realtor. Oh well, too late now. And actually, now that she was away from the hustle and bustle of the spa, she realized her whole body hurt, a deep ache in her joints and a shivery sensitivity on her skin that felt an awful lot like she was coming down with something.