by Lissa Kasey
“Organized madness,” I agreed. “It’s more the Alice theme. A journey of curiosity and self-discovery.”
“A little old for that, don’t you think?” Jacob asked.
“Not really. I spent most of my life in the military doing what I was told. Before that I did what my parents required. Never much had the chance to be me. So now I’m jumping down the rabbit hole, smoking weed with talking caterpillars and following Alice into new worlds.” I shrugged. “It’s not all cake and tea. Sometimes it’s jabberwockies and off with their head. But I’d rather be in the thick of it with Ollie than all alone again.” And that was all one thousand percent truth. My Alice reappeared again, this time with shoes for me, my shoulder holster, and a Burberry topcoat to cover the gun.
“You need a haircut,” Ollie told me. He disappeared in the bathroom for a minute to return with a lotion that would tame my fro. He ran his fingers through my hair, and I closed my eyes just to breathe in the scent and proximity of him. I hoped we’d be home early. Barring major incidents, I had plans for us tonight.
“Whatever you want, baby,” I vowed.
He fiddled a moment longer before I felt him move away, and opened my eyes to watch him return to the bathroom to wash the remaining product off his hands. Jacob watched us, well me, mostly. Was he calculating? Trying to decide how to take Ollie from me?
“You two fit well.”
I glanced at him, frowning. Not sure how to take that.
“Seriously. He’s relaxed with you. And you’re okay with him touching you all the time,” Jacob said.
“You don’t like to be touched?” I asked him. It seemed an odd statement from a man who had lovers likely in the thousands. Except he really didn’t like to touch. Hadn’t Ollie admitted that? Jacob rarely got undressed for sex. And his control of others had to be absolute. He even kept his family at arm’s length.
“Not really. I don’t really like people all that much. Any people. I like Ollie. Care about him. But I never loved him. Not like you see in movies. I wanted to. I just couldn’t. Not like you can. I don’t work that way. I don’t know why.”
But since I’d spent the last six months studying Ollie and all his nuances, it made sense to me. “You don’t date because romantic relationships don’t appeal to you. However, your kink requires some sort of trust so it’s difficult to get what you need in the bedroom without having a romantic relationship.”
“Not everyone equates sex to love,” Jacob protested.
“No. I know. Seriously. You have no idea how much I know.” I had been trying to show Ollie that sex and love were not the same. This was why. “You’re aromantic. It totally makes sense now.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It means you don’t have a desire to be in a romantic relationship.” Ollie had stopped in the doorway of the bathroom to look at both of us. “I tried so hard to make you love me,” he said after a moment. Apparently he’d been listening in to our conversation.
“I did care about you, Ollie. Just not the way you wanted,” Jacob assured him. “If I had. If I could, I probably wouldn’t have messed up so badly. For a while you were my best friend. I miss that.”
Ollie was exactly the opposite of Jacob. Ollie needed love to have sex, and Jacob needed sex without love. No wonder they never worked.
“I’m glad you have Kade,” Jacob said. “He’s nuts about you. I see it every time he looks at you. At first that hurt. I thought, why can’t I be that way? Why couldn’t I give you what you need? But it’s not me. I just don’t think that way. The more I like someone, the less I think about them… sexually.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” Ollie said. He gave Jacob a sideways hug, careful not to wrinkle his outfit. “I’m happy now.”
“Are you?” Jacob asked. They both seemed to have forgotten I was in the room with them.
“Yes.” Ollie glanced my way, a small smile on his lips. “He’s amazing. Look at him. And you see how he takes care of me. Even when I’m annoying.”
“You’re good at being annoying,” Jacob agreed. He looked at me now too. “I guess he’s pretty hot now that you’ve glammed him up.”
I scowled at him. Jacob laughed. Ollie let him go and then crossed the room to give me a quick kiss. “Really hot,” he said into my lips. “We have a cat together. We’re a family.” And if anyone needed a family it was Ollie.
“Maybe I should get a cat,” Jacob said.
“Pretty sure you were a cat in a former life,” I told him. “Aloof and fickle.”
Ollie snorted and buried his face in my neck to stifle his laugh at Jacob’s indignant expression.
“At least I wasn’t the one displaying my asshole to the world.”
I shrugged but felt my cheeks warm. “You get what you give.” Before he could throw another double-meaning retort, I held up my hand. “Let’s go. You have an interview to give and a song to sing,” I told Jacob, then leaned in close to Ollie to whisper, “and I have plans for you later.”
He shivered in my arms, took my hand, and we went.
Chapter Twenty-Six
THE FILMING stage swarmed with guards. Duke had really outdone himself. By the time we’d shown up, everything had been cleared and the band was practicing. The crew tested Jacob’s microphone, and when someone tried to give him a new earpiece, I refused it. He couldn’t use it anyway. Not unless he wanted to chance damaging his hearing permanently. Even in the opposite ear, it would cause a volume that could be dangerous. He’d have to sing without all the tech tonight. Good or bad, it was what it was.
Jacob had in stylish earplugs Ollie had found for him. The ends were made to look like jewelry with music notes attached. If I hadn’t known what they were, I would have wondered if they were some new form of earrings. They filtered out a lot of noise, but not as much as the headphones had. He flinched a few times when one of the speakers squealed. He had to take the one out of his good ear to speak to the host. They’d be starting soon, but wanted a few pictures. The photographer had gushed over Jacob’s look, asking if he had a new stylist.
“Just trying something new tonight,” Jacob brushed off the compliments. His eyes found us and gave me a slight nod. Ollie had asked him to downplay his own role in helping with Jacob’s outfit for the evening since there were already too many articles circulating about a possible relationship between the two of them.
Ollie was dressed as he always was, in hose, shorts—which looked like several layers of colored lace scalloped on top of each other—and a flirty top. His hair had been brushed back into a tiny ponytail that left some pieces escaping to float around his face. He, like me, was without makeup, and refused all attempts to get him on camera. The few who got close enough to ask him if he was dating Jacob again were given unkind looks and stern admonishments. Jacob was grieving the loss of his assistant and best friend. Ollie was in a committed relationship with me. Everything else was false. It was interesting just how fast Ollie could have someone who was looking for a dirty story stuttering and apologizing. He gripped my hand the entire time, and gave everyone a look that clearly said “do not approach with stupid questions.” I couldn’t help the smile that plastered itself to my face at his possessive need to protect me.
The guards were alert, focused, armed, and ready. Duke must have been drilling them something fierce to clean up their act in just a few days. A few of them I didn’t recognize, so I made my way over to where Duke stood. He was just inside the entrance. His wall of guards outside the door was very intent on not letting anyone in that Duke did not approve of. I noticed Gollum was not around.
“I see a few new guys,” I told Duke.
He nodded. “Fired a dozen guys. Hired legit guards. A lot of old military buddies.” His eyes fell to Ollie. “A certain PI has some great background check software. I had your office guy pull up the new guys before I interviewed. The bill will be paid by the company, of course.”
I nodded. Tomas did one-off screening all the time.
So long as disclaimers were signed, and bills paid, we did it. Nothing illegal like the more in-depth searches we could use, but all the necessary stuff was easy enough to obtain for a flat fee. We never gave out social security numbers or addresses, but background checks were a huge business. “You’ve been busy. When do you sleep?”
Duke grinned. “After you left yesterday, I slept. Got up early and worked on the new guards.”
“No Gollum?” I inquired.
“He was the one who slit your tires,” Duke said.
It didn’t surprise me.
“He also let one of Jacob’s family in to see him at the hospital after Jacob said no. When the nurse told me, I pulled him in for questioning.”
I frowned, surprised Jacob hadn’t mentioned speaking to any of his family at the hospital. “Who?”
“I don’t know. The nurse said Jacob had complained, so she told me. Whoever it was was already gone when I got up to the room.”
“When was that?”
Duke shook his head. “I don’t know exactly. Before you guys showed up, after Kisten was taken in for questioning. I got distracted by changing out the guards I couldn’t trust with ones I could.”
Which made sense. “So you fired Gollum yesterday.”
“After the events at the house, yes.”
“But he would have been at the hospital when Kisten died?”
Duke’s eyes widened and he seemed to think for a minute before nodding. “He didn’t leave the hospital until after Jacob did.”
At least that took one person off the list. I might need to track him down to ask him who he let in, since Jacob hadn’t shared. Was it Emily?
“I called Jacob’s label. They have a policy to police all fired employees. So they are all on no-contact orders. If you see any of the old guards around, call the cops right away.”
Because some of them could come back for revenge. I sighed. This was not what we needed right now. “None of them knew where Jacob was, right?”
“Other than with the cops, no.”
I stepped in close to Duke. “Find a fancy hotel, get a couple rooms, and tell everyone Jacob is there.”
Duke blinked at me. “Is he going to be there?”
“Maybe” was all I’d give him. He wasn’t completely off my suspect list himself. I didn’t really think he was part of some greater scheme. He hadn’t been around long enough to be a part of the blackmail, but I was nothing if not cautious.
Ollie had made his way back to Jacob’s side. They were both talking to the host. Apparently the photo shoot was over. Ollie patted his hand and returned to me as Jacob took a seat on the couch. There was a lot of noise in the studio, but the staff was beginning to clear people out so they could begin filming.
“Stay close to him,” I told Duke, but he was already moving just to the edge of the camera line, his own earpiece in as he gave orders to his guys. The place was filled with guards. There were no high angles or corners that were uncovered. Jacob was as safe as we could make him while he was out in public. This was how his guards should have been all along.
Ollie dragged me away from the soundstage and toward the private dressing area hallway, which was clear. Either Duke had been militant about following my orders, or Jacob’s sister and her husband never showed. Did they decide not to show for his one appearance and the tribute to his dead assistant? I frowned at the idea, really disliking his family. He could have used some support from them.
We were led to a room that would have been Jacob’s dressing room, only since we’d gotten him ready, it was empty, vanity clear and clothing rack unadorned. No sign of nasty toys or warnings. Funny how that stopped once his family was denied access to him. Of course it could have been because Kisten was dead, but by this time I highly doubted Kisten had ever been involved. He must have known something, discovered a secret, maybe even approached his killer with a threat of exposure. I wished he’d come to me. I might have been able to save his life. All I could hope for now was the chance to catch the asshole who’d killed him, all while keeping Jacob in one piece.
There were several monitors on one wall to show the stage area. I closed the door while Ollie turned up the sound so we could listen to Jacob answer questions. It was all very general. He talked about his nearly two years without recording any music, and how this new album had taken a lot more time because he wanted so much from it. He spoke highly of Kisten, stoically. The host was respectful, but did ask the dreaded question about Jacob and Ollie.
Jacob laughed it off. “You shouldn’t even ask that. You see how happy he is with the soldier, right? It’s in every picture of them together. That isn’t just for the cameras. That’s everywhere. Every moment of their lives. They are the sort of thing we sing about, make movies of, and dream of having.” Only Jacob really didn’t. Or maybe he did. I’d have to research aromanticism further. Just because he didn’t feel romantic attraction to anyone didn’t mean he didn’t wish he could. The world made all of us wish to be something more than what we were, even if it was all a lie.
Ollie wrapped his arms around me, and I nuzzled his face. He let out a long sigh as my scruff rubbed against his skin. “We’ve been talking a lot,” he admitted.
“You and Jacob,” I clarified.
He let out a soft sigh. “Yeah.”
“You’re not mad at him anymore.” Because the tension was gone today. He didn’t seem to be bracing for the next hit Jacob threw his way.
“I understand better now. He told me some things.” He frowned, his arms tightening around me.
“Is this the past you hinted he needed help with earlier?”
Ollie met my eyes, searching my face. I don’t know for what, but he ran his fingers over my cheek. “He was sexually abused when he first started his career.”
“He never reported it?” I asked quietly since a lot of things were beginning to fall into place.
“He said no. Said guys don’t get abused. Not like that. Only he did. He sort of brushed me off, tried to pretend it wasn’t a big deal. Said it’s been over two decades, so it shouldn’t bother him anymore.”
“Obviously it does,” I pointed out.
Ollie bit his hip. “I’m trying to convince him to talk to someone.”
“A therapist or a cop? If the jerk who hurt him is still around, he could be hurting other kids.” His shoulders slumped. I rubbed his back. “I’m not blaming him. Just always thinking. Sort of like you do.”
“I know.” He kissed me lightly. “I already thought about all of that. Jacob shut down when I tried to drag more out of him. I think he needs time. I think he’s only starting to understand now how wrong it was and how much it changed his life.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll keep poking.”
I knew what he wasn’t saying. Jacob wasn’t going to be disappearing from our life when this case ended. He might even become a regular visitor in our lives like Ty was. That should have worried me. Ollie wanted to fix him, or at least help him fix himself. He didn’t want a romantic relationship with Jacob, but he wanted to be friends. I sighed, and didn’t protest. We’d deal with whatever came our way the same way we had been, together.
“You’re so beautiful,” I told Ollie. “Inside and out.”
He snorted, which made me laugh.
“So you’re going to sing for us tonight?” the host asked Jacob. Apparently their interview time was over. I wondered how much would make it on the air.
Jacob nodded. “This is one for all those who’ve lost something, only to realize how amazing it was once it was gone.”
Shit. Ollie’s song. I tensed.
Jacob got up and went to the mic. The cameramen were good, keeping the focus on him, and not on the movement around him. The guards were staying close, and while they couldn’t be seen, it was almost a ghost of tension that eased out of Jacob’s shoulders. The music began. A soft ballad with a piano added and a singing guitar.
Ollie pulled me away from the monitor. “Don’t
listen,” he whispered to me.
I smiled into his wide eyes, realizing he’d worn flats today so we were eye to eye. “Nothing about Jacob Elias appeals to me,” I promised him.
“You like him,” Ollie prodded.
“No,” I denied. Only I sort of didn’t hate him anymore. “Okay, he’s not the total creep I thought he was. But he’s still an asshole.”
Ollie rested his forehead against mine, eyes intensely close, but so beautiful, gemlike and green, glowing in the bright light of the vanity and monitors. His lips meeting mine was only natural. The taste of him slid across my tongue as his entered my mouth. His hands held my cheeks, fingers gripping my face to keep me in place while he devoured me. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, his arms, his warm body against mine, his thick, plush lips, tasting of vanilla lip gloss.
He lifted his right leg, wrapping it around my left thigh, pressing us together below the waist. He was hard, barely contained in those tiny shorts it seemed. What was he wearing for underwear underneath? Must not have been any of his normal lace designs since those held him in place better. I couldn’t keep my hands from cupping his ass and sliding beneath the fabric—searching for the answer—only to find nothing but flesh.
I pulled back to suck in an unsteady breath. “Don’t tell me you’re commando under there?”
His lips pulled back into that little teasing smile I knew all too well. “What if I am?”
And suddenly I couldn’t breathe. Holy fuck. I mashed my mouth against his again, lifting him and crushing his body against me, using the vanity table for support. He ground his hips into mine. I should have been more prepared. Packed lube and condoms or something. I could have sucked him off; that would have been okay too. Even with Jacob crooning in the background about lost loves and broken hearts. All that mattered in that moment was Ollie in my arms, lips on mine, and his heart belonged to me.
The sound of applause broke through the passion. I let his lips go long enough to glance at the screens. Jacob was leaving the stage and Duke was escorting him away. Shit. I groaned. “He couldn’t have decided to sing another song?”