by JN Moon
First Kill
Anthony
That first kill was bloody, violent, and filled me with fear. Fear of myself. What the hell had happened to me?
My victim was a woman who I met at a bar. Vivacious and intelligent, the sort of woman I would willingly date. She eyed my untouched drink with suspicion but was too enamoured by my ethereal charms to consider her danger. Ah, part of our weaponry to entice you in.
Sweeping my hair out of my face, I held her gaze too long to be polite. Closing the gap of personal space, I breathed her in, she moved unsteadily as she seemed hypnotized.
“Your eyes, so deep,” and reaching out she impulsively touched my face, her hand lingering on my cheek. She was spellbound and I, I was hungry.
I suggested we go to another bar which, of course, I had no intention of doing.
As we walked in the rain that night laughing and flirting, I wanted her and I wanted her blood. She would be my first. I hated myself at that moment. Thoughts of suicide permeated my mind. But the blood, her blood...my whole body ached for it.
I gently pulled her into me; I could taste her scent, intoxicating me. Brushing my lips on her face, and pressing my lips to hers, she tasted sweet like the wine. Taking her hand, gazing into her eyes, I led her down a back street and kissed her fervently.
She was mesmerised into my presence and after more kissing, I started to undo her shirt. Her body was voluptuous and firm. She pulled me into her, tighter.
She was captivated and I took her up against the wall, amazed at the ferocity of my own strength.
Her porcelain skin appeared so smooth, and I greedily wanted so many sensations at once. Her blood swarming through me. Reaching nirvana.
I felt ravenous, crazed, totally obsessed. Doomed.
But it was neither swift nor smooth.
I fumbled and bit, not a clean bite, and she gasped in pain and shock.
She swooned and I had to hold her upright, pushing her back against the wall, the craving raged in my body whilst she struggled and I kept biting, snapping, tearing, and then held her fast in my grip.
She tried to scream in sudden horror. I will never forget that look, so swift from Paradise to Hell in a second. I placed my hand roughly over her mouth and said, “Shhh, easy now. I will have you,” in a soft voice.
She tried to scream through my grip and struggled, but I tightened my hold and finally, finally, I began to drink her blood. Then she was paralysed. I knew she would be completely conscious, but unable to move. Only to watch and feel me as I sucked on her soft neck. Her eyes glazed.
I don't know why but the moment before she died, I stopped drinking and looked her in the eye. Saw her staring back at me. Her eyes filled with abject terror and hate.
Maybe I thought I owed her that at least, the guts to look her in the eye whilst I stole her virtue, her trust, her life. Then I was drinking again like a frenzied demon. I didn't stop. I could feel her life fading away from her until I had drained her dry, her heart slowing, and then I pulled away abruptly and she slumped against the ground.
In that second, she became abhorrent to me. I can't explain. But her dead body repulsed me, my first blood.
I could still smell her on me and my body ached. Her scent surrounded me. I could still feel her and the growing anguish of wanting more, more blood, more sex.
I left her there and ran and ran. My legs seemed to glide with speed, almost flying through the streets and out of the city. I ran to the park, dawn now a few hours away, and sat with my head in my hands and my soul in hell.
I couldn't live like this. Was I really a vampire now? Had I lost my mind, my soul? But my soulless body and my soulless mind wanted more blood, more sex and it raged inside me like an unstoppable terrifying monster.
I wept. Salty tears mixed with precious blood ran down my face and stung my cheeks. I rocked back and forth at the sheer horror and power that I now wielded.
A month ago, I was living a normal life. I had a girlfriend until I ate her. I’d had friends, family, and fun. I had love, without wanting to drink all the blood in my girlfriend's body.
Now I have this. Immortal fear flooded through me, and the feeling of complete and total isolation from everyone and everything. Still, the hunger was intense, sweeping in waves, growing stronger and stronger.
I want to drink you, I want to feast on you, I want your blood.
I am a dark angel. I will draw you in, take you. And then I shall drink your blood. All your blood.
I will discard you just as you discard your trash. In time my conscience will weaken and you will mean nothing to me.
Nothing more than sex and blood. You will die. Yet I live on, evil and debauched. Unstoppable.
Finally, I knew that I had to do something with the body.
I ran back, grabbed the vile corpse, and took it to a building site just outside the city.
It was gone, forgotten in under an hour.
And I had just over an hour to see what the world would offer me next.
Requiem for Nathaniel
Anthony
And then Nathaniel found me. Young when he was turned, Nathaniel is tall, eloquent, and very beautiful.
He must have been about eighteen years old when he was made vampire, and as such still had the look of innocence and youth in his beautiful, big brown eyes. But he was ruthless to be sure.
He approached me silently, creeping up on me from behind and stood as still as a statue watching me. I flashed around trying to grab him by the neck, then he let out the most raucous laugh that I ever heard.
“Anthony, your first night out, I take it?”
I was so shocked that I just stood there, looking at him dumbfounded.
“Ah, I see the answer is yes,” he said in his elegant voice. “Allow me if you will, there's a party not far. Let’s have some fun. I can see you're still in the throes of bloodlust. It's always more rampant in the beginning.” His wide grin and eyes pierced with amusement conveyed an excitement over my existing state. “Am I always to feel like this? I hate myself. I've killed and I want to kill. Help me,” I blurted out like a crazed man.
Nathaniel walked slowly and purposefully up to me and threw his arm around my shoulder whilst guiding me towards the street. He whispered closely to my ear, I could feel his breath on my face, sweet and warm. “Please, Anthony, relax. I shall, if you permit me to, be your guide, your companion. You are not alone my friend, nor do I think you will ever be alone unless you choose it. You have a most incredible face, not unlike Renaissance sculpture!” he grinned.
But I was alone. Isolated from my human companions. They had been my family. I was an outsider in a strange land except I was home. This made my stomach feel like stone and my spirits heavy. Yet the hunger, the lust filled every cell of my being.
In one of the houses not far there was indeed a party. I realised that if I stole my mind away from my impending doom, I could hear and see so much. Birds rustling in the trees, the wind gently blowing, and the presence of humans. Many humans. Heady and intoxicated, I could smell them and hear them even at a distance.
As we strode in it was pitiful really. There were copious drunk and stoned people, looking the worse for wear, and then there was us. We looked like gods walking among the mortals. It was like shooting fish in a barrel.
“We'll take this one I think,” Nathaniel whispered, “And that one. You see, Anthony, men, women, human, vampire; you'll find your tastes...diversify. It's different for Us. We are no longer bound by human...constraints.” His last word made him smile mischievously.
“Their sexuality is irrelevant. If they are human they will be attracted to us, make no mistake. They will, of course, fear us unless they have known us prior to being turned. This will be subconscious. But ultimately, we draw them in. And they will want us. You can doubt this all you will, but it is a truth,” he whispered.
“This is our sin and in time you will not care whether they are male or female, only beautiful, interesting, and go
od to drink.”
We led the woman and the man into the back garden. As I knew what would follow the hunger became even more insatiable. It pounded in my veins and body. I was so aroused that I thought I would burst.
The alcohol had lowered the woman's inhibitions and she started to undress whilst I kissed her. I started to grab her lustfully and took her quickly. Nathaniel placed his hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Slowly Anthony, take your time. Make the experience last. It should be sensuous, dreamy, and passionate. And don't kill her,” he said, after which he grinned.
But I just couldn't do that, I needed my fix and I needed it fast. My head swooned from the intensity of the sensations.
I think Nathaniel did try not to kill, not so much his conscience but rather he pitied humans, such easy prey. Even to me, his voice was hypnotic and I found myself spellbound in his presence.
But slow wasn't an option for me at that moment, and before I could drink her, I experienced the release a thousand times over.
Freedom filled my core. I forgot everything that I am. I was ripping the life from the jaws of death itself.
Nathaniel moved in front of me and spoke softly to the woman. “What's your name?”
“Faye,” she replied, completely mesmerised by our presence.
“Ah, Faye.” He stepped up to her kissing her softly.
The guy seeing this moved up to me. I was shocked but too hungry to care, and actually slightly intrigued.
I embraced him and kissed him, allowing his passion to enwrap me. It was weird but I wanted his blood. Nothing more. And I would do anything for it. It controlled me.
I moved onto his neck, amazed at how easily I spotted his artery and my teeth targeted it this time. The blood of the previous woman still coursed through my veins, so this must have helped me.
I bit, he gulped and swayed, and within seconds he was paralysed. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. He had that same glazed helpless look and I drank and drank. I felt terrible but ravaged. This handsome young man, so trusting in my arms and watching me. I caressed his face as I sucked on his neck like a hungry young animal suckling at its mother's breast. I gorged myself on his blood.
Nathaniel was busy with Faye, screwing and drinking her, but making it look so elegant. He was like some enchanting demon. Maybe that is what we are, demons.
I dropped the guy on the ground, blood running down my face, dazed and scared, excited, running my fingers through my hair, I threw my head back, adrenalin coursing and stared at Nathaniel.
He whisked around to stare right into me, dropping Faye who was now completely dead. He grinned. He rushed me, grabbed me, and pushed me against the wall. He buried his face into my neck and held me close and inhaled my scent. “Exquisite,” he murmured.
He pressed his body so close to mine, I could feel him against me and he brushed his lips over my face and stared longingly into my eyes. He said nothing, just held me tight and stared.
Finally, he shuddered and after a deep breath took my head in his hands, his face right up to mine. “Anthony, I've been empty but you, you give me hope. Come, dawn is approaching and I want to leave this place.” He grabbed my hand and led me to his home.
I was a lost child out of its depth. Evil and yet so scared. But with the blood, their blood, my conscience was bypassed. Only the sensation of life buzzed through me like electricity pouring through me at fifty thousand watts.
So, I let him lead me where he would, not knowing what roller-coaster I would end up on next. I couldn't think, it was too awful to comprehend. I didn’t want this, I didn’t want any of this and the feeling of being trapped inside some violent nightmare weighed down upon my soul.
Day Walker
Anthony
Nathaniel took me out the next day. I had not been outside in the daylight since the horror of the change. With my senses now so damn acute I found it too much to bear.
If you can, imagine when I'm out at night, I can hear everything. The birds in the trees, small mammals scurrying around, and owls calling, their sound like banshees from Hell to me, so damn loud. Therefore, to be out during the day in the crowds, it's akin to being in the middle of a festival with a really bad hangover and hearing everything. It's an assault on the senses.
As we are more photosensitive, I had to use sunscreen so I followed Nathaniel's advice. And sunglasses. Sunglasses are a must, but, to be honest, I am a little vain and I love style so sunglasses are easy. However, I used a pair of his. Nathaniel has impeccable taste and judging from his home, a lot of money.
“Anthony, you need to get used to being out during the day. What are you doing for money?”
“I had some saved, but I haven't worked since. I ran my own business, but now I have no idea. Everything's too much.” I turned to run, to get back to his home, my breathing tight and tortured in the blazing light of sensations, of noises, but he grabbed me and held me firmly by the arms.
“Look at me,” he commanded. “Look...at....me.... That's right, breathe. I know, I know, it's all so noisy, so bright. Come, let us walk slowly and closely. Now focus your attention on your breathing, and try not to think much.”
That made me laugh. It was like when I was studying martial arts and I would focus on my breathing and not think. He was right; this helped and I started to feel calmer.
It felt strange looking at people rushing, laughing, or miserable faces. Like ants scurrying around with absolutely no idea of our existence. Totally absorbed in their consumerism. Their narcissistic and capitalist world. We might get the odd glance from a more alert human drawn to our otherworldly charms, but no more than that.
After a while with Nathaniel close to me, I started to relax but I was ever aware of my overpowering urge to just grab someone and drain them. Or screw them. Or both.
“How the hell do we fight it, Nathaniel?”
“Practise and patience. Think of it like tantra. You're waiting for the sensation. Let the wait take you, flow with it, breathe with it, smile with it. You could have anyone, anyone at all. However, you will wait until dark when you can hunt in safety. The night is, after all, our friend, Anthony, our companion. Then you can take anyone you choose.”
When people came close to me, I inhaled their exhilarating human scent and it almost sent me spinning, light headed. I started to enjoy this and now I wanted more. I wanted to interact with someone. Like mortals do. Like I used to do.
“Can we go for coffee?”
He looked at me long and bewilderingly. “You must know already you can no longer drink or eat human food and drinks?” he said, obviously shocked at my request.
I nodded that I knew this. Unfortunately, when I had tried this previously the results had not been pleasant, to say the least. I had then resolved to give up trying.
“So, for the familiarity then?” Nathaniel asked.
“That's exactly it. I want to hold a cup of fresh coffee, smell it, talk to you,” I said excitedly. Panic gripped me, fighting back the waves of nostalgia for my human life.
I was desperate to cling to anything resembling normality, the ordinariness that had been my life for the last thirty-eight years. I needed something familiar, yet...
Nathaniel sensed my unease and blurted out, “Anthony, let us do it. You do need to move on and it will be tough, but in the long term, this will do no harm. You are very young in our world, you cannot blame your nature, and neither can you fight it. You were, no doubt, turned against your will. The quicker you accept this, the better. There are other ways.”
Suddenly I was excited. Something shifted inside me, something I hadn't felt for so long it seemed. “Other ways? Drinking animal blood or using blood banks?”
“Oh, Anthony!” Nathaniel roared. “No. Come, let us have coffee and act as if we are two dumb humans living a nine-to-five reality, and before we hunt tonight I will introduce you to two of my good friends, Tom and Josephine. They will show you. I think you'll like them.”
A mixture of emotions ra
ced through me as I sat outside on the street terrace with my favourite coffee steaming in its mug. I smelt it; I could identify all the ingredients now. If anything, the smell was too strong for me.
I gazed at Nathaniel, who eyed me like that of a protective older brother, but I suspected with filthier thoughts. And I thought about the possibilities of what he had said.
“Other ways...” If not animal blood or a blood bank, then what? But I knew he wouldn't tell me now. I would have to wait.
For the first time in so long, I started to feel hopeful, even with my raging desire thrashing inside me.
Here we are, two strangers locked in our dark world of violence, sex, and blood. Empty and alone, pretending to be human with only our memories of human familiarity between us. Of the lives we once had. This is what binds us, our loss. Our emptiness.
My hope of another way to coexist and my memories, they are as precious to me as the rarest diamond, and I keep them in my heart. And I had Nathaniel to keep me going.
Maybe...
Deadly Liaisons
Anthony
The first time I met Tom and Josephine was memorable, to say the least.
Tom was reading Dracula, no less, in the kitchen, his feet up on the table, engrossed in his book. He didn’t look up whilst we walked past.
His dark, shoulder-length hair, and goatee made him appear quite bohemian. A glass of what looked like red wine rested on the table next to him. But as he sipped it without taking his eyes from his book, I could smell it was blood.
Josephine, a porcelain beauty with long curly hair, fed on a woman's neck in the living room. The scantily dressed woman draped over the sofa, moaned as Josephine sucked on her. Intriguingly, the woman was conscious. I quickly sensed that she, too, was a vampire.
I could not move or take my eyes off them.