“Gideon?”
“Hm?” He snapped back to the conversation.
“Were you listening?”
“Yes,” he said, nodding. Her eyes widened a little and he wanted to sink through the floor. She was kind enough not to point out his lie. “I’ll be right back,” he said and stood up.
He walked to the counter and waited for Nita to take notice of him. Leaving her at the table like that wasn’t very smooth but he didn’t know what else to say. Henry had spent her life in the shadow of one of the most beautiful women in the world, who felt no one ever really saw her, no one really listened. Gideon wanted to kick himself. She’d trusted him, opened her heart, told him secrets that no one else knew and he responded by tuning her out while she was talking, and then lying about it.
“Hey, there.” Nita scooted around the counter and grabbed the pad from near the register. “I didn’t ring up your ticket yet. Give me a sec, hon.”
“No hurry,” he said.
“How you like those mushroom eggs benedict? My friend Bernice makes ‘em with a different kind of mushroom. Criminey, I think she said.”
“It was great, as always,” Gideon said, suddenly knowing where the conversation was going to go.
“That’s right, you know Bernice. She’s your secretary, right?” Nita didn’t wait for an answer. She pushed a few buttons on the register and peered at the slip again. “She sure loves her family, especially that nephew Blue.”
He shifted his feet, wondering how fast Bernice would know that Gideon had been out with Blue’s girlfriend. He could say it was just breakfast, but this was Natchitoches and there was no such thing when two single people were involved.
“She said he’s takin’ the break up real well,” Nita said.
“Break up?”
“He’s a gentleman so he wouldn’t say what went wrong but I guess we can all see it now.” She gave him a look that said he wasn’t on her list of favorite customers any more.
“Went wrong?”
“Don’t tell me you don’t know Blue and Henry are no longer datin’ because I didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday.” She entered a final item and hit the tally button. The register whirred and a total appeared on the tiny screen.
Gideon stared at the little green numbers, his mind struggling to catch up with Nita’s words.
“You want to split the check? I just assumed you were paying for breakfast.” She planted a hand on her hip. “I’m not tellin’ you what to do, but no woman wants to go Dutch for everything, no matter how educated she is.”
He shook his head. “No, that total is right. I was just thinking.” He handed over his card and then signed the little receipt. He took a twenty out of his wallet and handed it back over with the restaurant’s copy. “And thank you for the really excellent service, Nita. As always.”
“You need change for this?” She was already rummaging around in her apron pockets, pulling out single dollars and counting them.
“No, that’s for you.” Gideon would have reached over and given her a big kiss on the forehead if he could have gotten away with it.
“Huh? Well, if you say so.” Nita gave him a sidelong look. “And don’t try to impress her too much. I don’t think she likes a show off.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said. He could stay here all day and listen to Nita tell him how to win over Henry.
“Get away with you,” she said, flapping one hand in his direction. “You’re smiling so big you’re worryin’ me.”
Gideon nodded and turned back to the table. The whole restaurant seemed lighter, full of wonderful smells and happy people. And there she was, sitting at their table, waiting for him to return. There was a question in her eyes, those beautiful green eyes, and as he came close, he wanted to pull her up from her chair and―
“Did you just pay for my breakfast? You shouldn’t have done that. I invited you.” Her brows were drawn together.
“Already done,” he said. “And we should probably get you back to that torture session now that you’ve been fortified by some good creole scramble, biscuits, and strong coffee.”
“I suppose you’re right. And thank you. I may just survive the next few hours of primping.”
They chatted on the way back to her apartment, talking as easily as if they’d been friends for years. The sunlight sparkled on the river, families strolled along the river walk, and Robert Browning’s line ‘God’s in His heaven and all’s right in the world’ ran through his mind. Gideon was starting to think this was the best morning of his entire life.
The only ripple in the perfect moment was that soon she’d be back to her packed weekend and he already missed her.
“Are you going to St. Augustine’s tomorrow?” he asked.
“I’m not sure. Kimberly usually likes to attend the basilica. Bigger crowd.” She didn’t need to clarify that the crowd was for Kimberly, and not the Mass.
They walked in silence for a few moments. The path to the back door of By the Book appeared and Henry stopped. “Thank you again. For breakfast. And the company.”
“My pleasure. Thank you for inviting me.” Gideon wanted to reach out and tuck a stray curl behind her ear. Instead, he put his hands in his pockets. “Maybe when Kimberly is gone…”
His mouth went dry and he realized why Henry had stuttered out his breakfast invitation. Asking her on a date was terrifying. He should have rehearsed something for this moment, but he hadn’t known there was any kind of chance for him, not today. What if she said no? What if she said yes?
She was looking up at him, amusement and curiosity in her eyes.
“I mean, when you have time, maybe…” Gideon wished he’d never started this. He should have left the perfect morning just as it was. He’d been greedy. Pigs get fed and hogs get eaten. He was about to experience what happened when you were ungrateful.
“Yes,” she said.
For a moment he thought he’d finished his sentence and hadn’t noticed.
“Whatever it is, yes.” Her eyes were crinkled at the corners but she kept a straight face.
She was laughing at him and he didn’t mind a bit. Gideon let out a slow breath. “You’re making this easy on me.”
She stepped forward, put a hand on his arm, and stood on tiptoe before he registered that she was going to kiss him. He leaned down a bit as she pressed her lips to his cheek. Her mouth was warm and soft, and he wanted to keep her there forever.
“Call me,” she said, already turning away.
He tried to respond but ended up just lifting a hand in a half-wave, seconds after she’d disappeared from sight. Maybe that old saying was wrong. Maybe there was something to being bold and asking for more than you deserved.
He started back down the sidewalk, in awe of how easy it was to be around her. She made everything seem possible, even the one scenario that filled him with fear. To willingly create a child and be responsible for their innocence was unthinkable. He’d failed Katie Rose, failed Austin, failed Mark Daniels’ son when he’d taken revenge.
But for a moment, he imagined a life with a Henry. In his vision, it was a life full of easy mornings, tender touches, a partner in his work and life, perhaps even a child. He wondered how it would be to plan the years ahead with anticipation, rather than resignation.
A tiny flare of hope sparked inside him, burning bright and hot. He hardly dared to believe it. As dark as his past was and as cold-hearted as he’d been, there might be a chance for him to have a family after all.
***
Henry couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. Being that close to Gideon was like taking a drug that erased her logical self. She’d never been the impulsive type. Her college years were marked by single-minded dedication to achieving her degrees. Moving home and taking the position at the Cane River historical park was part of a long-term, carefully thought-out plan. Working with Gideon Becket was a goal she’d envisioned and was thrilled to achieve. But everything else she’d done since she arrived had ru
n the gamut from spontaneous to utterly rash.
Henry grinned remembering the way he’d slumped in relief when she said yes. She couldn’t imagine what had been going through his mind. It was true, he’d done something terrible a long time ago, but that wasn’t who he was now. Any woman for miles around would have accepted him. Maybe he was used to women playing it cool. If Kimberly had been there, she would give a little speech on how to reel in a man by playing coy, not letting him know how much she really cared. Henry had never been the coy kind of girl.
She put a hand to her lips, remembering the way he had frozen in place when she stepped toward him. She’d kissed Blue’s cheek a few times, and he always greeted her with a kiss, but somehow it had seemed about as exciting as a handshake.
Henry reached her apartment door and sighed. Her stomach was in knots. Even though sitting through a wedding at the basilica for someone she’d never even met wasn’t going to be too awful, she still dreaded it.
Kimberly stood up from the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. She said nothing, just fixed her with a cold stare.
“I’m back,” Henry said brightly. “I’ve had coffee and breakfast. So, we can go ahead and get started.”
“Lorelei,” Kimberly said. She seemed as if she might follow up with a lecture but instead, she shook her head and tears started to stream down her cheeks.
“Okay. Let’s not get dramatic. We still have four hours left to get ready.” She started to walk toward the bedroom “You can choose two dresses, and I’ll choose from one of those.” She turned, lifting a finger. “But I choose the underwear.”
Kimberly hadn’t moved. She stood still, letting out tiny sobs.
“This doesn’t make me sorry,” Henry said, starting to lose her temper. “It makes me not want to go at all.”
“Isn’t that the way it always is? You do whatever you want. You have all the power.”
Henry gaped at her. “What power? You show up whenever you want and announce I’ll be doing exactly as you say, or,” she waved a hand, “this happens.”
Kimberly sucked in a breath. “I’ve come home every time you were visiting. I sent you cards and letters. I could be making a movie right now. Instead, I’m here, trying to convince you to spend some time with me. I’m giving up a lot. All I ever wanted was to be close to you, Lorelei.”
Maybe it was hearing her childhood name right then, after feeling the way everything fell naturally together with Gideon but Henry spoke without thinking. “That’s a lie.”
Kimberly put a hand to her chest. “What?”
It was too late to take the words back. “You never gave up anything. Except me.”
Her face turned ashen. “How do you know that?” she whispered. “Who told you?”
“I’ve always known it. Always.” Henry sucked in a shaky breath. “So don’t try and tell me that all you’ve ever wanted was to be close to me because if that were true, you wouldn’t have given me up.”
“I only wanted the best for you,” she said, her voice rising. “I didn’t want you to grow up in Hollywood, with all the gossip and fake people. I wanted you to have a happy childhood somewhere with people who loved you.”
Henry choked out a laugh. “Do you even hear yourself?” With people who loved you. Henry couldn’t bear to repeat the words but said instead, “You didn’t want the best for me. You wanted the best for you. You wanted the freedom to pursue your career without a baby in tow. You wanted to be seen as a sex symbol and being a mommy wasn’t part of that. You wanted to date powerful directors but they wouldn’t look twice at you if I was in the picture.”
She stepped back, as if Henry’s words were physically pushing her away. “I wanted you to be happy. That’s all I ever wanted.”
“To leave me with someone I hardly knew, with someone who never wanted me,” Henry said and suddenly she was crying, her words coming out high and pinched. “She pretended to be my mother, but she didn’t really love me.”
Kimberly’s eyes were wide with horror. “That’s not true. Lisette loves you, Lorelei.”
“No. She tolerated me. She sheltered me and made sure I was clothed and fed, but she never loved me.” Henry could hardly speak through the pain. Day after day, she’d sensed Lisette’s coolness, her ambivalence, her resentment. From her very earliest memory, Henry had understood she wasn’t wanted. “As soon as I went to college, she stopped bothering to even answer my calls.”
“I didn’t know,” Kimberly said. “I really didn’t. You have to believe me.”
Truth.
“Believe you? You’ve lied to me for twenty eight years and you want me to believe you now?” She put a hand to her forehead, struggling for control. “You haven’t earned my trust. In fact, I don’t think you ever will. That time is long past, Kimberly.”
Henry could see her words sinking in as Kimberly’s face went slack and realization dawned in her eyes. “I see,” she whispered. She walked to the door, her movements slow and sluggish. Picking up her purse and slipping it over her shoulder, she turned. “Whether you believe it or not, I do love you and I only wanted you to be happy.”
As the door closed, Henry stood motionless in the middle of the room. She waited to feel freedom at the lies finally exposed, for the relief to rush in and fill the aching place where she’d held that festering secret for so long.
Instead, there was only another incarnation of the same deep pain. Henry knew then that even though truth had power, the wielding of it was a dangerous and terrible thing.
***
Gideon walked back toward his car, feeling Henry’s kiss on his cheek long after she was gone from view. Before he’d quite literally run into her, his mind had been clouded with worry over the collection and the possible sale of the Finnmore house. Now he couldn’t focus enough to remember what else he had to do that day.
“I told ya to stay put, Nathan.” The angry words came from just behind a hedge of azalea bushes.
“I’m sorry, daddy. Please don’t be mad, daddy.”
Gideon stopped cold. The fear in the child’s voice wasn’t the kind that came from being caught misbehaving. It was fear that knew how swift and cruel punishment would be. He took a few steps to the right and peered over the bushes. Gideon’s blood ran cold at the sight.
“I’m sorry. You said we were gonna get breakfast but you didn’t come back.” A little boy cowered before Reggie Landre, both hands raised up in front of his face. “I didn’t see anything, I promise.”
Reggie grabbed him by the back of the neck and shook him, nearly throwing the little boy into the dirt. “I’m gonna have to teach you respect, boy. You disobey me and you have to face the consequences.” He raised his hand, fingers closed into a fist.
Gideon was through the hedge and wrapped his arm around Reggie’s neck before he thought any of it through. “Let go,” he growled into Reggie’s ear.
Nathan dropped to the dirt and looked up, his eyes wide with fear. Tears streaked down his cheeks and he gasped for air.
“I don’t have no problem with you,” Reggie said, putting both hands up, an echo of Nathan’s gestures just seconds ago. “Whoever you are, I was just tryin’ to discipline my son.”
“Well, I have a problem with you. You don’t deserve to have this boy in your life.” Reggie didn’t know who had him around the neck and temptation surged through him at the idea of anonymity. Gideon wanted to squeeze harder, to show Reggie what it felt like to be afraid of someone bigger and stronger, someone who had all the control. Desire twisted in his gut and he felt his muscles tense in anticipation.
“Please, don’t hurt him. Please,” Nathan said, jumping to his feet. He grabbed onto Gideon’s arm. “Mister, please let my daddy go.”
He looked down into eyes that were filled with terror. Please let my daddy go. Gideon had begged for his father’s life, and his mother’s, and Katie Rose’s, then his own. He’d been sure if he could just make them listen, they would stop. But they’d brushed him aside as eas
ily as Gideon had done just then.
Dropping his arms, he stepped back, breathing hard. “I’m sorry, Reggie.”
He whirled around, rubbing his neck, fury etched on his features. “Becket,” he spit out. “I should have known. You followin’ me? You said you got somethin’ against Nightmare Jones and his crew. Well, whatever you seen, you better forget it. You think you’re safe ‘cause you’re out, but you’re not.” Reggie stepped closer. “You had the chance to take protection from us but you turned it down. Now it’s too late.”
Gideon said nothing, his heart pounding with adrenaline and shock. He wasn’t worried about himself. Reggie had no idea who he was threatening. Gideon had thought he’d changed, but he hadn’t. He was still a murderer, deep down, under his professional life and his degrees. He was still a man who would take a life without a second thought. He glanced at Reggie’s son, wishing he could say he was sorry but knowing there were no words to make those memories go away.
He felt bile rise up in his throat and he turned away.
“Yeah, you better run. Just remember, there’s no place to hide,” Reggie called after him.
Gideon blindly followed the sidewalk to the parking lot and got into his car. He rested his head against the steering wheel, willing his heart to stop racing. His palms were sweaty and his stomach rolled. He hadn’t touched another person like that in years. There had been no warning, no prelude. One moment he’d been dreaming of a family with Henry and the next he’d wanted to strangle a man in front of his own son.
Whatever lies he’d been telling himself, he knew the truth now. He was a broken man, dark and twisted where he should be whole. Henry deserved someone who could give her a real life. She deserved someone better, someone who wouldn’t ever put her in danger.
These Sheltering Walls: A Cane River Romance Page 22