by Dana Arama
"Goodnight, Dalia. Kisses to Kobe and the children.”
I joined Natalia. She was out on the path. “I looked for your signature on the statue. This statue’s very charming and funny. I'm sure my son would be excited about it.”
"It’s just fun. There’s no proportional accuracy and no subtlety in the material. Today I’d do it differently.”
"How wonderful!" Her admiration was genuine. “I wouldn’t change it. I actually like its imbalance. It further highlights the humor. You’re more talented than you admit.”
I smiled at her. “I’ve heard that many times in different versions in my life. In matters of art, I’m very critical.”
We went back to the patio table. "Well?" I said. “Do you regret not having cake?”
She looked at her watch. “In another half an hour I have to go, so cake would be perfect, especially with a cup of herbal tea.” Her smile revealed perfect teeth worthy of a model. I was sure her smile made her eyes sparkle, but they were hidden behind especially dark sunglasses.
I went into the kitchen, set the carrot cake on a glass plate, and cut it. I was putting what was left of it back in the refrigerator when Guy came out of the pool, his wet body glistening in the late June sun. His long legs covered the distance from the room to the patio with the confidence of someone who where every stone is. He was rubbing his hair with a yellow towel.
Through the big glass window, in slow motion, I saw Natalia take off her sunglasses, her eyes following him, her fleshy lips widening slightly, her breasts highlighted as her back straightened. I stared through the window at Guy. I wanted to see his reaction to the beautiful woman sitting across from him. She put her sunglasses back on as he spotted her. Did I just see a suspicious look in his eyes? I thought.
"Good morning," she said, smiling.
"Morning," he replied distantly.
Why would he answer like that? I wondered. Had he gone back to being suspicious of everyone with a Russian accent, or was he just being his normal self? I allowed myself to feel delighted about that. He did not see the beauty she had hoped he would see. And even so, it did not make him respond to her flirtation.
He went to the kitchen and came over to me. I wanted to kiss him with joy, but I held back.
"Your girlfriend?" he asked with a dissatisfied look.
"I met her at the concert. I can make new friends," I replied with a smile meant to sooth him, but he stuck to his guns.
"How can you be sure she isn’t one of them?"
"She doesn’t seem threatening. And she was really nice to me at the concert when I was ill and vomiting in the bathroom.”
"Okay. It’d be better if you knew more about her. We’ll go over her story later.”
I learned to listen to him without arguing. I set two warm cups on the tray. The smell of lemon verbena from the tea spread into the kitchen. I picked up the tray and went out to the patio.
"He’s lovely, your boyfriend."
Your boyfriend, I thought. So she is aware of the situation? I hid my suspicions behind a neutral smile, "Thank you. He is really special to me." I had no need to lie to my guest, but this time, I was happy to do so.
She changed her position in the chair, and without moving her head, followed Guy about in the house. While she was seated at that angle, her sunglasses did not hide her roving pupils. When he finally entered the guest suite, she asked to use the bathroom. I pointed toward the guest toilet and waited patiently. Some of Guy’s suspicion stuck to me, probably because when she was gone a long time, I started to peep toward the guest bathroom. Only after she left did I realize she had not answered me when I had asked for her family name. Yes, well, I thought, we’ll check up on that next time.
part 3 – Guy 2010
Chapter 13
"As soon as I saw her, something smelled bad, and since then I can’t shake off this lousy feeling,” I said to him quickly. I hated that feeling of frustration. For me, it was like seeing the action for which you’ve been preparing for a long time go wrong just because of some nonsense.
"Sometimes, a feeling’s just a feeling. You can’t take a feeling to court.” It seemed to me that Nadav wasn’t even trying.
"On the one hand, I see Gabriella as a smart and intelligent woman. On the other hand, she does stupid crap in front of me, like letting a stranger into her home. What was she thinking?!” The more I thought about it, the more furious I felt.
"She must be looking to put faith in people again."
"Come on, now you’re spouting pop psychology.” I was irritated. He knew how big the danger was.
"Or she no longer feels threatened.”
We reached the wooden platform and the sound of our footsteps thundered in unison.
"That’s why I feel so frustrated. I failed to explain to her how dangerous her situation could be." We reached our target. We took off our shirts and shoes and jumped into the cold water.
The only person I could share this frustration with was Nadav. He was only a phone call away, but his free time was almost nil. Meeting with him, I knew, would cost me a particularly wretched training session with Gabi. For many months, he’d been trying to convince me to join the Special Forces. He never missed an opportunity to prove that he was very fit and had what I aspired to. My very high pulse proved to me that he was
right.
Just two days after I called him, we had met. Now I was sitting with him on sand that was already warming up as the sun emerged from
the sea. On this Tel Aviv beach were a couple of
old folks - early risers - two young men, sleeping rough, and us. The cool sea had washed away our
sweat.
"I’ve no problem continuing to train her," I continued. “It's nice to refresh in my mind in the different modes of combat. And if she chooses to pay me for this job, that’s terrific.”
"If everything was so terrific, why are we talking about it now? Well? Come on, what's the problem?”
"This trouble with the Russian mafia is really not my thing, but on the other hand, if there’s an actual threat hovering over her, I have to stay." I felt dryness in my mouth. I wanted to get up to get a drink from the water fountain. If I hadn’t been here with this toughest of commanders, I would have.
"Okay. That I can understand. I remind you - emotions don’t work. Can you point to something new to indicate a threat?”
"Not really.”
"Have you tried to ask her again? Investigated a little?”
"I tried. She's still not talking. But I feel that she's hiding something.”
"Stop squirming here. Every detail can be significant. Pour out what comes to mind first.”
"The whole deal with the Russian lady is fishy… someone she randomly met, or not, at the concert we went to together. Would you believe she got to know her instantly in the bathroom? Is this a women’s thing?”
"That's what she told you? She met her in the bathroom?”
"Not exactly. She vomited or something and the Russian lady helped her.”
"Could it be that they put something in her drink?" Nadav sounded thoughtful.
I knew him well. I knew the forehead vein that pumped when he went into action. "You're starting to sound like a cop.” I looked at him thoughtfully. “I made sure that there was nothing in drinks that I gave her, but if she drank something when she was alone….”
"This is what I’d do if I wanted to catch a woman accompanied by a man: I’d catch her in the women’s bathroom and pin someone to her.” He paused. “Try to find out if there’s a letter, note, or maybe something else to point to a renewed threat. It could be a reason for tracking her. Our follow-up, not yours. I want to save you from entanglement, but I need something concrete.”
"You mean, just pry through her drawers and cabinets? Isn’t that… illegal?”
"I meant to keep your eyes open and do what you need. I trust your instincts. They’ve never disappointed me. If you feel there's something going on beneath the surface, then t
here is something behind it.”
"Great. This is what I do." Intelligence gathering was not my strong suit, but I was trained for it.
"What about the Mossad? Have you heard from them?”
"Not yet. But I haven’t given up. I believe they’ll call after I finish the semester I have left." I smiled. I knew in advance where this conversation would lead.
"Very good, but you'd better start working on fitness. Maybe one day you'd still like to join us. I wouldn’t want you to fail just because you’ve started running like my little sister.”
I laughed. "I've been waiting for that all morning. If only I’d known before that you have a little sister.”
"And if I did have a little sister - you’d get nowhere near her.” I knew that if he had a sister, he wouldn’t hesitate to pair us up, if only to keep Hadas available.
I glanced at the clock. It was a quarter to six. "I have to get home before she wakes up. When I'm gone, she goes into panic mode.” I got up and shook off the sand stuck to my swim trunks.
"You like her, don’t you?" Now it was Nadav’s turn to have fun at my expense. “I knew it wouldn’t be over with a tie and a concert. There’s a chance she can make you into a human being?”
"She has something special. There’s no doubt about it." I didn’t want to elaborate on it. I’d revealed enough to Nadav already.
"What does Hadas say about it?" I wasn’t surprised by this question either.
"I haven’t heard from her since she left.”
"She left? Where?”
"Europe. An open-ended trip. I was sure she told you. She sent me an ultimatum and disappeared." We started to walk toward the parking lot. His battered Ford looked pathetic parked next to the Cayenne.
He looked at me directly. I never could understand how he could look toward the sun without eye protection. "Think hard about your decision before you get confused by the wealth around you.” I assumed he wanted to add something like: “Don’t decide anything that might hurt the girl we both love,” but he just said, “Come on. I still have to go to the base.”
He opened the car door and got in.
"I’ll let you know if there’s anything new." I was surprised when I realized how well he knew me. Gabi’s wealth didn’t confuse me, but I liked to refer to her place as home. I’d even gotten used to the car she had given me.
Driving back, I thought about Nadav’s feelings. I knew he was torn between his love for Hadas and his affection for me. He never would have thought to promote this love one step further and start anything with Hadas. Not as long as my relationship with her was unfinished.
Although I’d seen Hadas a few months before he did, we met her in the same way: at the shivah we sat for Yoni, her twin brother. After the shivah, we continued to meet. She was ‘one of the guys’ and drank with us, took part in poker nights, knew our humor. She filled the void Yoni had left. The circumstances caused the group to shrink and eventually fall apart completely. Gonen went to work on the rigs. Victor worked as a security guard for the foreign minister. Doron was killed in Gaza. Only the three of us remained: Nadav, Hadas, and me. At first, her choice between us was unequivocal and we both got along well with her. It was weeks until we became a couple. It was only when Nadav went to OTC that I was left alone with her.
I knew what was bothering him now. My breakup with Hadas was not on my initiative, and yet Hadas didn’t call him. Her ultimatum left the ball in my court, where a new player played now - Gabriella. But he knew he couldn’t bet on his hopes that she’d come between me and Hadas.
It was the first time since Hadas left that I felt her absence. I missed her familiar, soft body by my side. I missed the simple act of undressing her and kissing her bronzed skin as it emerged. I missed feeling her hands caressing me, her fingers lingering on all the scars that decorated my face and body. I missed the warmth and love she showered on me.
I knew I’d have to go to the moshav at the weekend, to make my peace. If Gabriella stayed home, I’d feel that she was safe and I’d be able to stay at my parents’. It would reassure them.
As I drove, I imagined how and when the Russians would attack the house. I ran through my mind what its weak points were. I pictured scenarios which involved combat with an intruder or two. That was enough for me to start to feel the adrenaline flowing in my veins and excitement in my loins. Was the intensive training I did with Gabriella a comfort for Hadas’ absence? We’d worked for almost three weeks and the practice was beginning to show. Her fitness had improved dramatically and she looked good: too good. I found myself dreaming of her lustfully and would frequently have to relieve my pent up desire by hand. Both of us could use a rest during the weekend, I thought.
I got to the main street of Savion, turned right, and immediately before I went down the street I stopped and scanned it. It was too early even for the paparazzi. Only a security company van drove past. The iron gate opened slowly. A pang of hunger made me look at my watch.
I parked the car, and instead of going home through the inner door, I went back outside. I took a quick look around the yard. “Keep an eye out,” Nadav told me, and I did.
I was greeted by the smell of chopped, raw vegetables. "Parsley. I love that smell." I recognized that special scent which was a key element in my mother's kitchen. "I never thought I'd find you awake at this hour." Because of the sand on my body, I stayed in the kitchen doorway.
Gabi turned to me with a smile. "I thought it would be a refreshing addition to a salad." She doesn’t look bad at all, I thought again. I quickly pushed the idea from my mind.
"Do you have plans for the weekend?"
"Rest. Lie in bed with a pile of newspapers, coming down just to eat." She glanced at me and added quickly, "Feel free to go away. You can, of course, come back and sleep here. Just so you know that you don’t have to."
"I think you want rid of me." I smiled at her. "I need to reassure my parents after last weekend, so I thought I’d stay over. That okay?”
"It's fine. Do I have to remind you every weekend that you’re not my babysitter? Go - have fun, dance, hit on some girls, do everything a guy your age is supposed to do on a Friday night.”
"Cool. Great. It helps me a lot. You want me to make omelets in the meantime?"
“No need. You take a shower. I see you’ve been in the sea.”
"Two minutes and I'm out.”
"Five minutes and the food’s on the table. I’m timing you.”
Something about her had changed since I started working with her. Something had happened to upset her. I decided to try to feel what it was, but only when I got back from the moshav. On Sunday morning I’d look into it, and I had a whole weekend to think about how to do it.
I showered quickly in cold water and dressed. The pile of clean shirts was very small, another reason for me to go home. I stuffed my dirty laundry into a black bag and went out to eat. I’d planned another short morning workout before setting out. I knew there’d be no time to practice when I got to the farm. I'd have to help out with chores. I knew they were in the middle of the harvest, every pair of hands was useful, and an experienced eye prevented malfunctions.
***
It was eleven-thirty when I left. I threw my small, black bag in the trunk of my old Citroen, and I thought, now that Hadas is gone, I have no further need for air conditioning and a trunk. I can go back to my bike. The thought of it brought a smile to my face. Here's something else to do at my parents’. Chances were that I could pass the time without fighting, demonstrating to them that I had grown up dramatically.
***
Especially rhythmic music encouraged me to press on the gas. My thoughts flew like the passing scenery. The further I got from Savion, they more they changed, merged, and became one, giving me a sense of peace. I both liked and disliked like that feeling. It brought a rest, but also carelessness. The atmosphere in the moshav always made me feel numb. My mother used to say that I was ‘a city boy born in the wrong place.’
I’ve always liked the tension that comes with stress and danger. I guess I got that feeling when I was in such situations in the past. Firstly, my senses of smell and hearing were sharpened. I managed to pick up before anyone else the sound of a broken leaf, the hinge of a door opening, or the sand crunching under the weight of the body. Immediately after the noises came the scent. With its help, I recognized the sweat that accompanies fear, the particular smell of gun oil, the smell of onions on the breath of the hiding terrorist.
Thanks to these skills, the company’s nickname for me was ‘pit-bull.’ Afterward a shiver would come down my back. It had saved me more than once. It was this feeling that had made me call Nadav. For several days I had felt it come and go like a ghost - invisible, but noticeable.
The fuel light came on. I crossed two lanes and stopped at the nearest gas station. A long, annoying beep made me look back at the main road. A BMW was taking the same route. In the passenger seat, a blonde woman looked at me. Although she was hiding behind big sunglasses, her face seemed familiar. My tingling chill became troublesome. I took out my cell phone and dialed.
"Is everything alright?" Gabi asked.
"I called to ask you if everything was alright."
"And why wouldn’t it be? Stop worrying so much, and be sure to keep a piece of your mother’s pie for me."
"Cool. Noted. What did you decide? You staying home?"
"Yes. As I already told you. I’m giving my body some attention, and rest. I’ve earned it after last week’s training." Her decision made me very happy.
"Your romcom marathon, huh?"
"I hear you smiling. You managed to avoid it…"
"Tell me -" I groped in the dark. "You accompanied your friend to her car, right? You remember what car it was?
"Yes, a gray BMW, if I'm not mistaken. Why do you ask?”
I noticed the gas station attendant glaring at me. "Nothing," I replied. "I thought I saw her on the way. Okay. I'll see you Sunday morning."
I looked again. The BMW had vanished like a bad dream. I finished fueling up. It was then that I spotted the sign above my head: “No cellphones while refueling.” I smiled apologetically to the attendant.