I flick on the bedside lamp noticing his iPod is set to repeat on the speaker dock. I shut it off pulling the covers from his naked body. I practically cry when I find him alone. He flinches, covering his eyes from the light with his arm. He moans and mumbles incoherently, trying to reach for the sheets.
“Liam it’s me.” I say lowering my head to his level.
“Ella” he groans without uncovering his eyes.
“Yeah baby, I’m here. I missed you last night. Why didn’t you come home?” I ask watching him uncover his face to squint at me.
“I can’t deal with you right now, you need to leave,” he says hoarsely.
“Liam please. Let’s talk about this. Don’t you want to work this out?” I caress his disheveled hair, he catches my arm mid stoke glaring at me.
“Ella…I’ve never been drunk a day in my life all of a sudden I find myself spiraling out of control because of you. My head is about to explode and all I can see right now is you embracing that man so I’ll say this one last time. I. Can’t. Deal. With. You. Now.” He reaches over turning the music back on before pulling the blankets over his head, dismissing me.
Chapter 17
Liam
The hot water pounds my back washing away the alcoholic smell seeping from my pores. After Isabella left sleep evaded me, her smell taunted me until I ripped the sheets off and jumped in the shower. I refuse to let today be a re-run of yesterday. After storming out of that office I operated in a zombie-like trance. Nodding and murmuring through meetings not absorbing any information. Gabby took over in the middle of the first meeting giving me a compassionate look. Once the work day was over I knew going home was not an option. Staying in my suite all night would have pulled me further into my mind so I left.
I wandered around the city aimlessly trying to decide how I let myself get so wrapped up I can’t even function without her. I stopped into the first loud bar I saw and ordered drink after drink never letting my glass empty out. A tall brunette woman with voluptuous breast wearing a provocative dress sat in the stool next to me. Her flirting was endless; she rubbed up against me so many times I had to physically hold her off.
I knew I’d had too much as I fumbled with my phone trying to focus on the screen. I got fed up with my bar mate when she hung up on Ella so I got up and left. Unfortunately she followed me insisting that I should crash at her place. I shook my head at her desperate attempt and walked away leaving her gaping at me.
Going home and laying next to Ella was not an option; she would lure me back into her web with her sweet caresses and sexy body. Once I got into my suite I stripped, got into bed and feel asleep instantly. My drunken stupor chasing away all conscious thought.
********
I fell into business mode pretending to forget about Ella but I ache to see her face. Gabby apologized for giving me the article as if it was her fault Ella was forming a relationship with another man. What I thought was a pretty moderate day turned dreadful when Jessica informed me through the speaker system that my father was here to see me. I grudgingly mumble for her to let him in.
He strides into the room all cocky, grinning at me. I watch him take a seat opposite my desk folding his hand on my desk.
“I figure now that the world’s seen what kind of slut you were dealing with you’d be ready to see me.” the mischievous glint in his eyes disgusts me. He thinks I’ll be so angry I’ll continue to do his bidding. Fuck that, those days are over. When I thought he was the only family I had in this world I bent over backwards to make him proud, now I realize he’s a fraud much like most of my life.
“You look like shit by the way,” he says leaning back in his chair. “You shouldn’t let some bitch you just met three seconds ago impact you this way. You see son, women will drag you around by the collar for years just to decide you aren’t good enough. I thought I taught you that lesson when your mother left but I guess you needed to learn on your own.” He smirks proudly.
I’m not even sure anymore why I let him in here. Everything he says rings false and I’m getting really sick of his I told you so cocky grin. “Get out” I say calmly watching his eyes grow wide.
“What?” he sputters.
“I said get out, I have enough shit to deal with and I don’t need your arrogant speeches and condescending disposition. Leave.” I demand. He gets up and leans in over the desk, eyes wild and nostrils flaring.
“You are my son and you will respect me. I’m not sure who’s responsible for this change in you, your mother or that little slut. Once they trample all over you and you see I was right you know where to find me.” he storms out my office and a sense of relief floods me. If Ella has changed me I’m glad. Glad that I won’t be as miserable and destructive as that man.
It’ 8 o’clock in the evening when I decide I need to go home. I buried myself under work but my addiction to her hasn’t relented. If I could just see her face or smell her I know I’ll feel better. I jump in my car and break speed limits to get there before I change my mind.
She’s splayed out on the couch in one of my shirts when I walk in. She pounces up from the couch then physically restrains herself from launching at me. She anxiously pulls at the long sleeves of the shirt she’s wearing, covering most of her hands. I watch her mentally build up the courage to approach me, her movements slow and hesitant.
“Hi” she says as she stops in front of me. She smells sweet like strawberries and I yearn to wrap her in my arms and keep her there forever. I nod at her acknowledging her greeting not sure if I’m ready to have words with her, I just wanted to see her, be in her presence.
“Is it okay if we talk?” she asks.
“Talk” I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly.
“Liam I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe nothing is going on with Cayden. I love you. I want to be with you. Cayden’s a psychologist; he was just helping me through a rough time.”
“If he’s your doctor why don’t you meet with him in his office? What’s with all the physical contact?” I ask finally finding my voice.
“He’s not officially my doctor he’s more my friend. Something about him calms me, I feel like he understands me.” My lips tighten, rising slightly on one side unable to hide the disgust I feel from her declaration.
“You have to be able to let me have male friends without getting excessively possessive” she continues.
“I was there when you met him; I saw the look in his eyes when you introduced me as your boyfriend. He wants you Ella, I may be wrong about Harris but I know what I saw in that man’s eyes.”
“It doesn’t matter what he wants because I only want you.” She gets bold and caresses my face and I let her because I miss her touch. Her fingers skim my neck and slide over my shoulders. Stop her. Stop her. My brain screams at me but I’m so fucking weak I let her caress my chest and watch her eyes darken with lust.
Her hand flutters over my fly and I jerk back. “Stop”
She stares at me astounded, like I just threw a bucket of cold water over her head.
“I’m not going to let you pacify me with sex.”
“That wasn’t what I was trying to do Liam.” She says moving in on me.
“Ella…” I huff looking into her darkened gray eyes. “I’m just tired of not coming in first to you,” she tries to interrupt but I put a hand up to stop her. “You have Lucas to be your treasured friend, you have Richard Harris to be your confidant and apparently your protector and now this Cayden is your savoir. Every man in your life has a role. What’s my role Ella?”
“You’re all of that to me Liam. None of those men have me the way you do.”
“You’re wrong; I have to pull every piece of information out of you. I watch you with Harris and you’re so carefree. With me you’re always reserved, trying to keep something hidden like you don’t trust me to be there for you. You didn’t even want to tell me about your panic attacks I had to drag it out of you.” I remind her. Her eyes dart across my f
ace before lowering to the ground.
“My role is to fuck you, it’s what you need me for but I can’t settle for that Ella. I need more from you. I need us to be more than what I can do for you in bed. I want to possess all of you not just one sector of your life.” I walk off and head into one of the spare bedrooms, I can’t sleep in the same bed with her but I need to at least be in the same house.
Isabella
He’s right. I was so busy trying to hide facets of my life that I didn’t even realize I was shutting out the one person I know understands me. He stood here and analyzed things in me that I couldn’t even see.
But he’s also wrong, I don’t use him for sex. I crave him sexually but I also love his ability to make me smile and his soft affectionate nature. I love how he makes me evaluate myself in a new light or how unconditionally he loves me. The sex is great but Liam as a whole is astounding. Two months ago when I walked into his club he changed my life way more than I’ve changed his. He gifted me a new life with new friends and most importantly-love.
I head to our room dreading sleeping in that huge bed alone. I plug in my iPhone and curl into a ball under the sheets. This is my payment for how I left Lucas, this excruciating pain eating away at my insides. I made him feel used and invalid in my life. I don’t even know how to begin to fix this, everything I say seems to be wrong and I don’t want to make it worst so I lay here imagining him alone in the next room.
I know I have to come clean with him about my past but it terrifies me. Fear that he might give up on us chokes me and for the second time since meeting Liam I do something I don’t allow myself to do. Cry.
I cry for the pain I’ve caused him, for the lost part in me that won’t let me be happy. But mostly I cry out of fear of losing Liam and this new life I’ve come to love. Body wracking sobs burst free and I hope the music is loud enough to conceal the sounds.
My sobs turn to trembling whimpers as I slowly drift off to Rihanna’s California king bed. I’m a sucker for mood music but this song is tearing me up inside. I move to turn it off when a strong arm holds me back. I turn sharply, watching Liam as he pulls me into his arms. The song forgotten I gaze into his beautiful green eyes hoping this is real and not just a wishful dream.
He reaches his hand out and dries my tears, my eye shutting from the thrill that races up my back from that simple touch. “I love you,” I whisper against my pillow. “I want to give you all of me, I just don’t know how. Please don’t give up on me” I open my eyes glad that he’s still there. He moves closer, kissing my face lovingly.
“I won’t,” he says as he tucks my head under his chin, running his hand down my back. I don’t know how many chances I will get with Liam but I know I need to tell him about my past soon. Exhaustion sets in as he caresses me into dreamland.
“I love you too Ella…I love you too.” I hear before drifting off into a content repose.
Once her secrets are revealed will Liam be able to keep her safe from her past.
Liam and Ella’s story continues…April 2nd 2013
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Table of Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Beautifully Broken (Beautifully Series, Book 1) Page 17