by Nako
“Shit,” she remembered that her phone had been off since she started working so she went to the writing desk that was in the corner of her living room to grab her cell. The notifications flooded in as soon as she took it off DND.
Tia scanned them, replying to what was important and looking over the others. Juice sent two more DM’s and was two seconds away from being blocked…honestly truly.
The microwave beeped as she poured a glass of wine. Getting cozy at her small dinette, she said grace over her food and dived in. Tia contemplated on calling Juice, but really wasn’t sure what they had to talk about. If she even wanted to hear that crazy, sexy ass voice that she knew without a doubt hadn’t went anywhere.
“Ugh,” she groaned as she took another two bites and downed it with wine as she clicked the IG icon on her phone, opened her inbox and clicked the number.
The phone rang three times before she hung up, not giving him much time to answer the call before she convinced herself that she was tripping.
Juice called back less than a minute later.
“Hello?” His voice held uncertainty, yet hope that it was…her.
“Yes, Jamari… I mean Juice…I forgot what your new name is.”
He chuckled.
Whew, Lord, the laugh was still the same.
“Jihad but I’m still Juice, Tia.”
She didn’t know what else to say, so she remained silent.
“How was your day?” he asked her.
“Cool, I didn’t do too much. What about you?”
“We’re home for a few days in between shows, so just catching up on bills and stuff.”
“Where are you now?” she asked.
“The studio with one of my aspiring artists. Where you at?”
“Home,” she swelled with pride.
“Is home Houston?”
“Yep.”
The line went silent.
“…Last time you were in New York?”
“Uh, I was there for Christmas.”
“Word?” That was shocking.
“Visiting my friends,” when she could’ve or should’ve said, friend. She spent Christmas with Coop and his family.
“You have friends here?” Last time he checked she didn’t know anyone here.
“Yeah, from law school,” she muttered.
Why did she lie?
She didn’t owe Juice an explanation and Coop hated school. He was a good guy for Christ’s sake.
“Oh yeah...congrats on that.”
Tia wanted to hate him, but she didn’t. He got her as far as he could…he owed her nothing and she still was able to cross the stage.
“Thanks.”
That awkward silence appeared again.
“We have a show in Houston, next month. Do you want to come? I can leave you tickets at Will Call,” he suggested.
She wasn’t a big Mahogany fan, and in all honesty changed the radio whenever her songs came on. Tia didn’t deny the woman’s talent, but hearing her voice reminded her of Juice.
“Yeah, sure. My friends would like that.”
“More friends, huh?”
He sounded a lil’ bitter.
“Yes. Is that okay with you?”
“I guess.”
He still had some growing up to do.
“Well, it was good talking to you,” she told him abruptly.
“You must be busy?”
He wasn’t nearly ready to end the conversation.
“Not at all, but we’re not talking about anything so…”
What she wanted to say, At the mere hearing of your voice, my pussy is over here pulsating.
“I want to catch up. What part of law did you go into?”
He hated that she was unnecessarily uptight right now…they used to talk for hours.
“I’m getting my feet wet. I majored in contract law.”
“Wow, just like we talked about,” he was impressed.
She reminded him, “We discussed me going into family law.”
“That was before we did the business vision board,” he shot back. Juice knew what the fuck he was talking about.
“Oh yeah…”
“Are you dating?” he jumped right on in to what he really wanted to know.
That was none of his damn business.
“Are you?”
Now, it was his turn to get quiet.
Tia knew him well, she said, sarcastically, “Hmm, guess that’s a yes.”
“I’m engaged.”
He regretted sharing his truth with her almost as soon as it left his lips.
She shook her head although he couldn’t see her. “Same girl?”
“Yeah.”
Juice motioned for the engineer to give him a few more minutes.
Tia really was done with the conversation now.
“Congrats…look, I have some files to review, so I’ll talk to you later.”
She didn’t give him a chance to say anything back. She hung up in his face and slammed her phone down. She retrieved the bottle of Gen from the fridge and plopped in front of the couch.
“It’s a Love Jones type of night,” she whispered to herself as she went to Amazon Prime and pressed play on her favorite movie.
Juice drafted a few text messages but didn’t send any of them. Something told him let it go and wait until he arrived in H-Town to reach out again. He was sure that the bomb he dropped on her was way too much for her to handle. She dreamed of becoming his wife one day…and another woman was about to have that title.
On her side of the map, Tia was thanking God for the sign that she didn’t even know she needed or asked for.
Half of her was wondering was this love…him, coming back to get her years later. But nah, he was officially a distant memory. Tia blocked his number and went back to saying all the words along with sexy ass Larenz Tate and the beautiful, Nia Long.
She ended up falling asleep on the couch and didn’t wake up until the next morning. Tia decided to go into the office, there was no way in hell that she was going to stay home two days in a row. She needed the hustle and bustle of the law firm to keep her mind busy. She showered, dressed and was out of the door in less than an hour. Traffic was moderate which was a blessing.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” the receptionist who had a lil’ crush on her told her with a bright smile. It was welcomed every time she stepped off the elevator.
“Good to see you too, Paul.”
“Any messages for me?” she asked.
“No, but you have a delivery on your desk,” he told her with a sly smile on her face.
Tia didn’t know what he could possibly be talking about but would find out after she made her a cup of coffee.
She bypassed the other attorneys in the hallway, being sure to smile and speak to everyone although it wasn’t always returned. She didn’t give a damn. Never growing up to care if she was liked by many. As she continued making her way to her assigned space, she scheduled a wax appointment while walking into her office. Her head buried deep into her phone. Knowing her way around the place, she sat her coffee down and turned the light on. Kicked her heels off and slid her feet into a pair of Gucci mules that she swore felt like UGG house shoes. She noticed the large vase of yellow long-stemmed roses on her desk and wondered who the sender was.
Coop only sent her roses when she had a big case and right now, she didn’t have anything on the docket. Unless, he was doing some nice, random romantic type shit which she would for sure appreciate.
After she smelled the roses, she picked up the note and her smile turned upside down as she read it.
“I know that I have a lot to explain, hope these are a good start. Have a good day, Attorney DiCaille. With love always, Juice.”
Tia crumbled the note and tossed it into the trash. She moved the roses by the window and got to work as if they never even arrived. He was engaged. What did he have to explain to her? Nothing. Even if he felt like he did, she wasn’t interested in
hearing anything that he had to say. Tia was too much of a woman to let him play her or feed her lies. They had been there before and there was no way in hell she was going back to the very thing that broke her and yet, gave her the pure motivation to become the woman that she was today. Period.
η
He wasn’t present in the moment. Faaizah knew him well enough to know that although he was smiling and entertaining her loved ones, he’d rather be somewhere else. Perhaps on the road or at the studio, where she forced him to come from and spend time with her family who loved and cared for him just as much as she did. He handed her brother-in-law a dish full of asparagus, onions and fresh garlic as her sister passed him a plate full of trout.
“Faai, this food smells heavenly. I know you put your foot in it,” her mother praised.
She blushed, “I hope you guys enjoy.”
Cooking was one of her favorite things to do, especially when her people could gather around the table and break bread. Growing up, her family had dinner together every night and breakfast on the weekends. It was tradition and one that she couldn’t wait to start with a family of her own. Juice promised her all the children her womb could carry…if any. Her cycles had been a nightmare since she was a teenager and she worried that she would never have babies of her own. But, that’s where faith came in.
Faaizah enjoyed watching after Juice’s kids…whenever he got them. He blamed his lack of participation in their life on his schedule and the demons he impregnated. Things with his baby mamas were up and down, more down than up because they were always demanding something from him. Mostly money. They could care less about the time he spent with the kids being that since having the children by him, they both had moved on. Juice regretted his wild days more than anything, but not his children. Contrary to what they believed, he loved his kids dearly.
“Honey, would you like more wine?” she asked her fiancé.
He shook his head, “No, I’m preparing to fast.”
No weed or alcohol. It was a sacrifice that he didn’t mind doing to get what he was rightfully searching for.
“Really?” That was the first she’d heard of him doing a fast and what surprised her was that it wasn’t time for Ramadan.
“Yeah, need to clear my mind… What better way to do that other than to fast?” he said matter-of-factly.
Her father nodded his head in approval, proud that her daughter was settling down with a good wholesome Muslim man. It also didn’t hurt that Juice was well-off and Faai didn’t have to work.
“That’s right, son.”
Juice beamed with pride. He truly loved her family.
“Let’s eat,” his mind being shifted into the direction that it should be, which was off Tia and the reason for her blocking him and onto the people before him.
Dinner was pleasant and after a nightcap and slice of Faai’s homemade Biscotti cheesecake, they saw her family off.
She was washing the dishes, but he knew she had to be tired. From cooking and cleaning all day to hosting everyone for several hours.
“I’ll finish up,” Juice told his fiancée.
“Go wash and I’ll meet you in bed,” he suggested.
She shook her head, “No, you work all day. I do nothing…I’m fine.”
He hated when she did that.
Juice didn’t view her as his slave or homemaker. They were equal whether he brought the home or not. He wasn’t one of those “have my food on the table when I get home” ass niggas. Thankfully.
“How about we do ‘em together? You wash, and I’ll dry.”
Tia smiled at him, “That sounds like a plan to me.”
She scooted over a tad and made room for him. They washed the dishes in silence and once they were done, she decided that one more glass of wine wouldn’t kill her. Juice left her alone in the living room. He went and showered then got in bed with his iPad in hand. He had a few urgent emails that needed his attention. When his baby finally made her way to their oasis, she asked him, “Can we get the kids this weekend?”
He didn’t know if he would be home.
“Uh, we’re supposed to fly out Thursday night…I’ll know for sure by tomorrow.”
Faaizah seemed a little disappointed to hear that. “Oh okay, maybe next time.”
What she really wanted to ask him was when would she be able to get his children without supervision. They would be married soon, and the title would change from daddy’s girlfriend to daddy’s wife which meant she would officially be their stepmother. Until she had kids of her own, they were her bonus babies and she loved them dearly.
“I’ll let you know though,” he gave her a hopeful smile. Not wanting to ruin a perfect night. Faaizah was extremely sensitive these days and anything he said would easily set her off. Juice didn’t want to end with them not talking or not on a good note. It made his trips harder to get through when they were at odds with one another.
“Okay.”
She went to bathe and then joined her boo in bed.
“I can get used to this,” she said as she snuggled against his hairy, tattooed chest.
Juice moved his iPad and a few legal pads that he lazily jotted down his thoughts on to the nightstand and wrapped one of his arms around her waist.
He sniffed her coconut-smelling hair. “You smell good,” he told her, warmly.
“You smell better,” she responded, licking his chest.
Juice shivered at her advances, knowing damn well that whatever she started, he would for sure finish up with no problem.
“Tonight was fun and the food was good. Mom and dad, love you so much.”
He nodded his head, agreeing, “Yeah, I needed that…being on the road forty weeks out of the year gets boring sometimes.”
Faaizah was surprised to hear that, assuming he absolutely loved his career. Since they met it had been this way. Him being gone ninety percent of the time.
“Do you think she’ll retire soon?”
He shook his head. “Hell nah, she better not. This is her primetime. It’s so many things we’re trying to do. She got at least another fifteen years of run in her.”
Faaizah’s heart dropped at his revelation.
“Fifteen years?” she asked to be sure.
“Yeah, how long you think we been doing this? She’s technically still a newbie.”
It was as if all her dreams of their perfect fairytale life together started shredding right before her eyes.
“After the wedding, how long will you be home?” her voice croaked.
Juice wasn’t in a rush to get married but knew that she was bored, so he entertained her trips to the bridal shop and cake tastings.
“Uh, baby, I don’t know... I haven’t even thought about that yet, but we will have to plan it around the shows. You know that, right?”
Faaizah tried to get out of the bed using the excuse, “I need some tea before bed.”
He grabbed her arm, knowing her well enough to know that she was lying.
“Come here… Where you going? Lay down. What’s wrong?”
It was important to him that they stayed on the same page. Communication in his past relationship was his downfall. It was his mistake. It was his where he lacked, it was his weakness. With Faaizah, he told her the truth almost immediately. Unlike, Tia who had to drag it out of him.
“I don’t want to be a newlywed in this house by myself. I thought you were going to take a year off, so we can start our family.”
“A YEAR?” he playfully used the same voice that rapper Soulja Boy used during his Breakfast Club interview.
She looked at him with hope and disappointment mixed in between her hazy eyes.
“Yes. Jihad, I’ve waited on you-”
He sat up and looked at her. “Waited on me to do what?”
“To finish up with the tour. I want you home with me… I refuse to be barefoot and pregnant while you’re on the road.”
He hated to sound so nonchalant, but he couldn’t beat around the bush wit
h his lady, “Well, I guess you won’t be pregnant no time soon then.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Faaizah was a graceful woman who rarely cursed or raised her voice. He overlooked the not so profane word.
“It means that you knew what I had going on when we started dating. I told you up front what my life was like…”
She cut him off mid-sentence, “But now we’re engaged.”
He hated to sound so crass when he asked her, “And what does that mean?”
The next morning, he woke up in bed alone which told him that she never returned to their bedroom after she stormed off. Juice was honestly too tired to go after her, so he let her be and went back to work. Even if he had the energy, he was sure that he wouldn’t pacify her. He couldn’t conceal the truth… and wouldn’t. He’d worked too hard to get to where he was and yes, marriage was something that he truly desired along with starting a family with Faaizah. But not at the risk of losing doing what he loved to do. He believed that his fiancée mistook his complaints of sometimes being tired or frustrated with the concerts for not being happy with his career. That wasn’t true. Juice took the good and bad that came with being Mahogany’s manager. On top, of the other avenues that he was currently swerving into.
For him, his life was just getting started.
There were so many things he wanted to do right now which led him to wanting to have a conversation with Faai about pushing the wedding back at least a year…or two. What was the rush anyway? He wasn’t going anywhere and was sure that she wasn’t either. Juice refused to do anything that he didn’t want to do and walking down the aisle or paying for an expensive ass wedding wasn’t necessarily a top priority for him right now. He planned on speaking to her about getting a job or starting a business, something that could keep her busy while he got his ducks in a row.
He meditated, prayed and then showered, in that order, before getting dressed and heading for the garage to start his day.
Faaizah wasn’t home. He discovered this after calling her name a few times. He even called her phone and it went straight to voicemail. If she went to her parents’ house, he would be pissed off.
Juice shot her a text message while sitting in his Tesla, hope you ran to the store and not your parents’ house. I told you about that… I’m gone. I’ll try to wrap my meetings up so we can hang tonight. Movies and dinner? Let me know. Love you.