by Nako
She said, “At the bridal shop, I found one that specializes in wheelchair accessible dresses. Babe, she said she can add a train to the back of my chair. Isn’t this amazing?”
Faaizah was ecstatic.
He took a deep breath, “Who took you?”
“My cousin.”
She was doing too damn much, “Faai, you said we were going to talk before you made all these moves…I’m not ready to get married.”
Faaizah was in front of people and couldn’t really say what she wanted to say, so instead she told him, “Love you too baby. Talk to you later!”
The line clicked.
Juice was about to send her a text message, but Tia was calling him via FaceTime.
He couldn’t catch a break and needed one bad right now.
Juice answered, “What up beautiful.”
Tia didn’t have a smile on her face, it was like when Faai was mad, Tia was happy and vice versa.
He was tired.
“I texted you last night…”
She was in the bed, hair tied up and all. Still looking gorgeous as ever.
“Damn, my bad baby. It was raining when you sent it. I was trying to make it home safe.”
Tia nodded her head, “Did you read it?”
He paused the Facetime and checked his inbox for the text.
He read it aloud, “What if we ran away? From everything and started over.”
It sounded good. So, fucking good. It wasn’t possible though.
“I miss you. I love you,” she spilled her heart out over the call.
Her eyes were sad, and he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m ready to be with you,” she admitted.
Juice needed more time.
“I swear I want to be with you too baby,” he told her as he sat down on the couch.
Tia heard the hesitation in his voice, “But?”
Juice sighed deeply, “I got home last night and Faai had her whole damn family over here planning a wedding…I didn’t want to embarrass her, so when she asked for my card I gave it to her.”
Tia remained silent.
Most likely, mentally processing everything he’d said.
“Now what? What happens now, Juice?” she wanted to know.
He ran his hands over his waves. “I gotta figure out how I’m going to tell her…she so happy. It’s hard. I tried to talk to her this morning, but she was already gone, out dress shopping.”
He saw the tears welling in her eyes.
“Tia….”
Juice needed her to exert all the patience she had. He knew he didn’t deserve it, but he was worth it.
“It’s nothing else you can say that I’m going to listen to. Hope she has the wedding of her dreams.”
Tia knew that he wouldn’t leave her.
The fact that he was struggling to even have the conversation with her told her everything she needed to know. Tia wasn’t stupid. He clearly still loved her and had some reservations about what direction he should go in.
“You are reading too much into this.”
“HOW? You gave her your card when you should’ve told her to send her family home, so you could tell her that you had to end things! That’s what the fuck you should’ve did. But the same way she made you turn your back on me when I needed you the most and guess what? You’re doing it again.”
Juice knew that she was right.
“I don’t know what to say.”
Tia pursed her lips together and nodded her head, “Once again, you’ve failed my expectations.”
She had to let this motherfucker go.
“Goodbye Juice.”
Tia blocked his number as soon as she hung up.
She took it a step further and changed her number as well.
Heartbreak was the worse, especially when you gave a nigga your all…again.
After he fucked up a million times, you doubled back.
You loved him…again.
Trusted him…again.
Believed him…again.
Tia told herself, “This time ain’t no coming back.”
She had to make him stand on his decision and that’s what the fuck she planned on doing.
The next eighteen weeks were a blur for Juice, yet a period of transformation for Tia.
Faaizah didn’t even consult with him when making decisions for the wedding. He was told to show up, nothing else was needed from him.
It was one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
C H A P T E R 21
Never told the world how much I cared about ya – Future
Present Day
“What brings you in today?” Dr. Mighty-Moore asked the couple that sat before her.
Juice looked at his wife, who was visibly uneasy. He wasn’t a stranger to therapy, but she was. However, this was her idea. This was her “bright light bulb” moment that would somehow “reconnect” them. He wasn’t aware that they were ever disconnected, but for the sake of wanting his peace back, he told her okay when she sent the text message suggesting therapy.
“Who would like to answer the question? Perhaps you, Mr. Shahid?” she picked him, as if he was the kid in the back of the classroom that was hoping you didn’t call on his name to read out loud.
Juice took a deep breath and smoothed out his pants by use of his sweaty palms.
“Well umm, we are newlyweds-”
“Congratulations.” Dr. Mighty-Moore gave them a pleasant smile, although, she wondered why they needed therapy so early on if they were still… a new union.
“Thanks,” he muttered under his breath.
Before he could continue with explaining their sole purpose of being there today, his wife blurted out, “He called me his ex’s name during our wedding vows…”
She then added in a low, embarrassed, exhausted and sadly, distraught tone, “In front of all our family and friends.”
Dr. Mighty-Moore nodded her head. “I can only imagine how that made you feel. Mr. Shahid was it a simple mistake?” she tried to reason, if she could.
“How do you make a mistake like that?” his wife spat. She was emotional.
Juice seemed agitated and tight. This was a disaster in the making.
“How about we let your husband answer the question.”
They both looked at him and he was stumped.
“I don’t…know. I really don’t.”
That wasn’t enough to make his wife feel better. It was a loud ass mistake. Everyone heard him. A deep gasp came from her father’s mouth. Her family turned their noses up. His side of the room, who was all quite familiar with the name he mentioned, were in disbelief.
His best friend and former artist, Mahogany Bavay, leaned over to her husband. “Did he just say…Tia?” she whispered.
Porter was stumped.
“Is the nigga still drunk?” he questioned.
Juice was tripping and what was supposed to be this oh so magical day ended up being the worst moment of her life. They didn’t go on their honeymoon, a voyage to Greece. She was looking forward to going to Santorini, Tripoli and Veria. Nor did she take any pictures with her husband at the reception. The newly married couple stayed on opposite ends of the ballroom. Once the night ended, she went to her parent’s house, leaving her man to enjoy the Presidential suite by his lonesome.
Here they were... a month later, barely saying two words to each other.
Juice was speechless and his wife, Faaizah was jumbled. She was heavily tangled in her emotions and wanted to climb out of the web.
For years, she had been under the impression that he was madly in love with her. Yet, on the day that she’d been planning for what seemed like an eternity. The first word that comes out of his mouth was, “TIA.”
No, she needed answers. She wanted to know…everything.
“Mr. Shahid-”
“Juice...call me Juice, please.” He preferred his nickname.
She nodded her head to show him that she got it. “Is it okay to
ask you about your previous relationship so that maybe your wife can understand what led you to saying your ex’s name on what was supposed to be the beginning of a lifelong happiness with her?”
Damn, Dr. Mighty-Moore sure knew how to make a nigga feel bad about some shit, he thought to himself.
Juice took a deep breath. “Are we going to be together though?”
He looked at his wife. “I’m just saying- “
“You know good and damn well I am not divorcing you, don’t insult me!”
Faaizah very rarely raised her voice, there were only a few things that could cause her to come out of character. Omission, questioning her character and disrespecting her religion. His wife was a devout Muslim, she made him a better man. Through their God, he met her. She was his good thing. He could never deny that and wouldn’t even try.
Dr. Mighty-Moore asked to be sure, “Faaizah, are you against divorce?”
She nodded her head as her body shook and lone tears ran down her face.
“For many reasons I am against divorce, but the most important one right now is because I am with child.”
She’d held on to the secret for weeks. Her plan was ruined by the embarrassment she felt at the wedding. She was looking forward to presenting him his wedding gift. Faaizah had struggled with fertility and she now believed that it was because God wanted things to be done right. There was a point in their relationship where she felt as is if she had to have a baby to lock him down, but he proposed instead, killing all her insecurities. Juice loved her with or without a baby. Faaizah was growing a blessing in her womb.
Juice’s eyes widened as he zeroed in on her flat stomach.
“You’re pregnant?” his voice held worry and disbelief.
She told him, “Yes, we have been blessed.” Tears filled her brown eyes.
This was the first time she had smiled since her wedding day.
Dr. Mighty-Moore decided to remain silent as the young couple shared what was truly a beautiful moment full of joy and enlightenment.
Juice scooted over and kissed the side of her face and then he slowly dropped to his knees and laid his head on her stomach. Tears filled his eyes.
Faaizah rubbed his waves as she began to pray for hope, restoration and most importantly; forgiveness.
Faaizah answered, “Sorry to have wasted your time,” she was happy as shit right now. Nothing else mattered.
“What do you guys do now?”
Dr. Mighty-Moore figured they’ll go home and make love. It could have been a simple mistake. Surely, he didn’t mean to say that name…
Juice seemed hesitant as he stood up and stuffed his hands into his pockets. Something was gnawing at him. Dr. Mighty-Moore was a professional. She could read body language better than the lies that fell from most of her client’s lips until they could fully trust her and cut the shit.
“We’re going to be good, baby,” his wife reassured him.
Juice was contemplating a few things, mentally. But, she was pregnant.
This was what she had always wanted. He’d be an ass to leave her now.
They were married, millions were involved. He wasn’t a regular nigga. Juice was a wealthy man. Self-made at that. Things could get messy. He needed to let the past be the past. He had to. His entire life he’d made poor decisions and foolish mistakes when it came to the women that loved him.
He took a deep breath and placed a cool smile on his face, one that Dr. Mighty-Moore could tell he was used to wearing as a mask.
“Yep, we surely are. Thanks Doc. Again, we apologize for wasting your time.”
As the couple left her office. The only thought she had was, “One of them will be back.”
With years of experience, she already knew which one it would be.
η
Juice had been listening to a mix of the three artists he’s signed so far, just trying to get a vibe and see if they could be the next biggest things out. He didn’t want to think they were the shit just because he’d discovered them, but they were actually riding.
He bobbed his head as he weaved in and out of traffic.
Faaizah was sitting next to him with the biggest smile on her face.
Juice turned the music down, “You like what you hear?” he asked, assuming that she was feeling his artists.
She looked at him and said, “Oh baby, I wasn’t really listening. My mind is somewhere else.”
He couldn’t believe her right now.
“Yo Faai, what’s the name of my record label?”
She blinked her eyes rapidly. “Huh?”
He shook his head. “What is the name of my record label?” he questioned her again.
She didn’t know…didn’t have a clue actually.
“Did you ever tell me? I can’t recall.”
Juice decided to let it go for now. He turned the music back up.
She was all fuckin’ ears when she was asking for his card for that high ass, weak ass wedding.
When Juice made it to the venue he expected to be awed and wasn’t wowed at all. His first question to her sister-in-law was, “What did y’all spend seventy thousand dollars on?”
The food was disgusting, flowers looked like they stopped at the cemetery and said, “get whatever you see.” Nothing in there was appealing and he was pissed.
Faaizah brought him from his overthinking and said, “Jihad, I’m not into music and you know that.”
Stupidly, she thought that was acceptable, but it wasn’t.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m into it. I love it, it’s my career. My bread and butter…it’s how you eat. You don’t have to be into it to care about it.”
She didn’t get him at all and he was in a rush to drop her ass off to enjoy the rest of his day.
“What about the baby? What about our family?”
She was pushing it today.
“Faaizah, what does that have to do with you not even knowing the name of my business? I told you about doing that shit. Stop trying to play the victim.” He clenched the steering wheel, tighter. He felt as if he was about to explode.
“Whatever, you always making this about me. I can’t do anything good in your eyes.”
Juice remained silent until they made it home.
He helped her out of the seat and into her chair.
“When is your next doctor’s appointment? Or have you not gone yet?” he questioned her as he wheeled her into the living room.
“Umm, no I haven’t. I can make one though,” she told him.
He didn’t know if he believed her.
“Yeah, do that because we’ve only had sex twice and I don’t remember cumming not nan time,” he said, seriously.
She was quick with her responses, “I read an article on Google that said you can get pregnant with pre-cum.”
Juice looked at her and dropped to his knees, on her eye-level.
“The only reason that I didn’t that call you out in therapy is because I wasn’t prepared to discuss a very important and sensitive subject. That’s the only reason, Faai. But you and I both know that you aren’t pregnant and the fact that you can so easily lie like that is scary.”
Tears pooled in her eyes and he told her, “Please don’t shed another tear, my love.”
They no longer affected him.
“How can I keep you?”
Juice hated to disappoint her.
“Lying about being pregnant definitely wasn’t the way to go.”
She raised her voice, “I’m not fuckin’ lying. Take me to the emergency room right now!” she argued.
Juice shook his head, hating what they’d become. He also had to question how they got here and if he ever really loved her. Was Faaizah nothing more than a safe and suitable replacement for his forever love?
She saw his mind running in circles and tried to snap him out of a trance that she knew probably didn’t include her.
“You love her more than you love me?” she questioned.
It wasn’t about that.
“Jihad, how can you choose her over me?”
Little did she know, it wasn’t hard.
“Babe, at this point, even if it wasn’t her, it wouldn’t be you,” he hated to tell her the awful truth. The reality of the situation was that the wedding should’ve never happened. Juice had already spoken to a lawyer and it wasn’t too late to get it annulled. The only thing that angered him was that he’d spent so much fuckin’ money on the wedding. It actually infuriated him.
“What am I supposed to do?” she pouted.
Juice couldn’t help her figure out shit else. He was done putting the pieces of the puzzle together for motherfuckers. Those days were mad over.
“I don’t know, but I have lunch with Mahogany and I’m already late.”
Normally, he would kiss her on the forehead to soften his blow, but not today.
She needed to sit and think about the stupid shit she’d did.
“I’ll catch you later,” he told her before leaving the house.
He made it to Tribeca in record time, considering the traffic that he was normally in around this hour.
Mahogany was in the mood for Mr. Chow, which technically didn’t open until six p.m. for dinner. However, when her people made a phone call saying the superstar wanted steak…the restaurant made it happen. She was sitting in her favorite seat, in her favorite restaurant waiting on one of her favorite people in the whole wide world to arrive and when he did, she leaped out of her chair and into his arms.
“Hey best friend,” she greeted him with love and cheer.
Both in which Juice desperately needed right now.
“It’s good to see you,” he told her, truthfully.
They hadn’t caught up in so long, he was looking forward to their sit down.
“I ordered everything, literally,” she told him once they took their seats.
Mahogany tossed her Celine shades and phone into her purse.
Porter knew where she was and that’s all that mattered.
“Soooo, that wedding though.” She was so messy, she couldn’t help it.
Juice shook his head, “I know. I know.”
He’d been chewed out by everyone.
His mom couldn’t believe he’d made a mistake like that and so did the rest of his family.
“What was you thinking? Were you still drunk?”