Beth liked her, but she would never like Gabrielle. It was easy to see that Gabrielle had once been a successful model. Her movements were studied and smooth, her make-up perfect and her clothes chic and excellent. She watched Beth almost constantly until it was with relief that Beth was able to turn from the table and watch the show, letting her mind ease up from the constant battering of eyes filled with malice.
It was exciting nevertheless to be in Gaetan's world, and the clothes were lovely, the music and the movement perfectly balanced.
'Well? What do you think, Beth?' Gaetan leaned over her as she sat gazing fixedly at the platform, his breath warm against her skin as he moved closer from his position just behind her.
'Oh! They're beautiful!' She spun round to answer and found to her dismay that his face was merely inches from hers.
'How can they be? I did not design them!' he demanded, smiling into her eyes. 'Whose side are you on anyway, mademoiselle?'
'I—I'm always on your side,' she said quietly, looking quickly away, and his soft laughter ran like a warm trickle of liquid down the length of her spine, the small and intimate moment not going unnoticed by Gabrielle, whose eyes instantly narrowed into unbridled annoyance.
There was dancing later and Alain was determined that she should be his partner even if Gaetan had brought her, so she was spared further looks of annoyance from Gabrielle and managed to remain quite calm until they left soon after eleven.
This time too she was placed in the back of the car with Alain, an adroit manoeuvre carried out under Gaetan's nose by both Alain and Gabrielle, for once in accord, and Alain set out to be his usual charming self at once, using the darkness of the car as an excuse to take her hand possessively and talk to her to the exclusion of the others. It suited her well enough, because she had no doubt about her place in the general scheme of things. Gaetan's silence and Gabrielle's assured movements beside him left her in no doubt that she was a small and slightly annoying intrusion into the normal lives that they all led in the glamorous city.
She forced herself into animated conversation that tired her more than the rest of the evening had done, and she was greatly relieved when Alain was dropped off at his home and she was able to sit back in the darkness and relax.
She must have relaxed more than she had intended, because the next thing she knew was that Gaetan was standing by the open window, the cool night air making her shiver, and he had said something, she wasn't at all aware of what.
'I—I'm sorry,' she said, bewildered for a moment to find that they were alone.
'I said, get into the front,' he repeated, reaching inside and taking her hand.
'But where's Gabrielle?' She struggled out, hampered by her wide flowing skirts, and he steadied her for a minute as she swayed tiredly.
'Gabrielle is indoors. I have just dropped her off.' He motioned towards a house set back off the road and she saw that they were still parked half inside the drive.
'Oh, I thought she would be coming back with us.' She turned to close the door but he was there before her, taking her arm then and leading her forward to the passenger door at the front of the car.
'I really cannot think why you should imagine that,' he said in a cool voice. 'I cannot think either why you chose to sit in the back in the first place. As you came here sitting beside me, surely I could have expected to have your company on the return journey.'
'But Gabrielle was there!' She looked at him, astonished, and he grunted irritably, almost pushing her into the car and gathering her skirts in behind her.
'Let us get one thing quite straight,' he rasped as he got in and started the engine, 'Gabrielle is my Personal Assistant, and a frequent companion. She does not own me! Her ways may be odd to you but she knows her job thoroughly and is very useful to me.'
'I really don't know why you're so angry about it all,' Beth said in bewilderment. 'Anyway, Alain wanted to talk to me so it was easier to sit in the back.'
'He talked to you so much that apparently he exhausted you,' Gaetan offered drily. 'Of course, he cannot be expected to know your ways as well as I do, nor your ability to curl up and sleep like a dormouse whenever the chance arises.'
'I don't!' she protested, feeling most unglamorous.
'Yes, you do. I have noticed it many times when you did not even know that I was there. You simply curl into a soft ball and sleep instantly. I have often walked into the library at home and found you sleeping quite delightfully, your books on the floor with your sandals. You have never even known that I have been there.'
'I use up a lot of emotion,' Beth offered uneasily and he glanced at her quickly and keenly.
'What did you use it up on tonight? Alain or the dresses?'
'I—I was just tired,' she murmured, and when she glanced across at him he was smiling that odd and worrying smile, his eyes fixed on the dark ribbon of road before them.
'I can't think why you bothered to get me up and make me sit here,' she said resentfully into the silence. Clearly he had no intention of speaking to her.
'Perhaps I am lonely,' he bantered, 'and in any case, with you beside me I can make quite sure that you do not roll off on to the floor. It is not so easy to curl up here. You are very grumpy now that you have been roused from your little sleep.'
Beth sighed in exasperation. She was either a child or a little furry ball likely to roll up on the floor. What point was there in trying to be glamorous? He might just as well keep his dresses for someone with what he considered to be maturity. She gave a little sniff of annoyance, glaring at him when he began to laugh quietly, determined to walk straight upstairs as soon as they got home.
And that was exactly what she did, except that the effect was rather spoiled by the fact that she had forgotten about the pearls and had to turn and walk back to him as he stood grinning at her from the doorway of the library.
'I have offended further?' he asked with mock alarm.
'I forgot the pearls,' she snapped irritably, avoiding his eyes.
'Ah, yes,' he murmured. 'Come in here. I will put them back into the safe.' She was led into the softly lit room before she could protest and before she could get the pearls off, his hands were warm on her nape as he unfastened them himself, sliding them gently from her skin and placing them on the desk.
'How very lucky they are to have spent the evening around your neck,' he said softly, his eyes crinkling in amused appraisal at her quick blush, his hand detaining her as she turned to hurry from this amusing torture. 'Wait,' he said quietly. 'I am sorry that I have teased you and made you angry. Goodnight, Beth.'
His hands cupped her face gently as he bent to kiss her cheek, a kiss that he would have given to a child, and something inside Beth seemed to snap. She was tired of trying to please him, tired of his mocking tone, his amused laughter, and deep down inside she admitted that she was jealous of the easy hold that Gabrielle Dubois seemed to have on him.
Why should she continue to suffer these small and teasing kisses when not long ago, while she had slept, he had no doubt kissed Gabrielle most thoroughly as if she were a real woman and not a child? She wound her arms round his neck, turning her mouth to his, and deepened the kiss herself, nothing but instinct to guide her as she moved closer, offering her soft lips like a gift.
He was startled, she could tell that. A shudder ran right through him and she realised her mistake as fire shot through her own veins, her angry act backfiring on her as she seemed to burst into flame.
'Oh!' A little cry of panic left her lips as he lifted his head and looked down at her with glittering intensity and she belatedly started to back away, afraid of the feelings she had aroused in herself, afraid of the tightness of his face and the blaze in his eyes.
His arms tightened around her as he stared at her for a second, making her feel that she was hanging in time, all breath and heartbeats suspended in one searing moment. Then his lips captured hers, not in any kiss that he had offered her before but with a driving demand that left her
instantly trembling.
It was a kiss that seemed to have no end. A kiss that deepened until her arms tightened around his neck further, to hold herself upright, only relaxing when he moved her to his shoulder, her hair brilliant against his arm, her body tightly pressed against his.
'And just what were you trying to prove?' he asked thickly against her hair as he cradled her against him when her little cries had at last set her free from his devouring mouth. 'You were trying to prove that you were not a child? I already know that. No proof is necessary. Or were you trying to remind me that I am a man? Well—I know that too.'
He lifted his head and held her slightly away, still supporting her, his eyes cruelly intent.
'It is dangerous to practise on me,' he murmured softly. 'But it would be even more dangerous to practise on Alain. Dangerous for you and—for him!'
CHAPTER SIX
'I—I wasn't practising, or—or anything,' Beth whispered, her face pale and frightened, the glow dying from her eyes at his anger. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to force you to—to…'
'You did not force me to anything!' he ground out irritably. 'I brought the whole thing on myself by teasing you. I have placed you in an invidious position and that was the result of it. You are very young, Beth, and I have been very possessive in my attempts to protect you. It is you who deserve my apologies.'
'No!' Beth was suddenly filled with a deep remorse. She had no right to intrude like this into his life. Before her arrival no doubt he was happy to live as he had always lived, and now he had a great responsibility. It drove her to a greater honesty than she had yet allowed herself even to look at in private thoughts. 'It wasn't your fault. I don't want to be an even greater burden on you and you have nothing to reproach yourself with at all. It was me. I was jealous—and…'
'Jealous!' He turned back to her, his eyes burning into hers as the colour she had lost flooded into her face again. 'I do not understand, Beth. Of whom were you jealous? I have done something that has made you jealous about Alain?'
'Oh, no, no!' Now that she had started there was no way out of it although her confession was now a painful thing. 'It has nothing to do with Alain. I—I was jealous a-about you… Gabrielle…'
Instead of anger there was a smile back in his eyes, and his hand rose towards her and then fell away without touching her as if he was very wary.
'I see, or at least, I think that I do.' He took a deep breath which did not seem to Beth to be too steady and then his hand came to her arm very gently. 'Come, petite, sit down for a minute.' He led her to one of the big and comfortable armchairs and sat her there, standing before her for a minute and then walking away to stand by the fireplace facing her, his arm resting along the mantelpiece, his eyes thoughtful on her face. 'What shall I say to you, Beth, that I have not already said many times?' he asked quietly. 'Gabrielle is part of my working life, has been a part of it for many years. We have much in common. There are many things that we discuss. This evening was an outing for you but for us, for Gabrielle, Alain and myself it was work, too. She may look as if all her thoughts are on her own appearance but those eyes were taking everything in tonight. She has the business at her fingertips.'
'Her eyes seemed to be mostly taking in me,' Beth said quickly and then bit her lip as she realised just how immature that sounded.
'Perhaps she, too, is jealous,' he said softly, smiling wryly as Beth quickly looked up. 'She is accustomed to my attention. She, too, is possessive, and I imagine that she does not like to think that you are here with me. You are very beautiful, you have the glow of extreme youth and—I spoil you.'
'I—I never noticed,' Beth muttered in embarrassment. 'You make me…'
'Do what I think is best for you,' he finished firmly. 'It is not easy to bring you safely from one kind of life to another, Beth, and, on the way, I have made mistakes.' He walked over and crouched down beside her looking up into her downcast face. 'You are a temptation to any man,' he said softly, 'and I am always aware of it. Teaching you to live is a very dangerous occupation and tonight, your little action of—frustration and anger took me by surprise. For a moment I forgot just who you are and who I am.'
'What else could you have done?' she murmured, determined that he should not take any of the blame.
'I could have laughed at you,' he told her quietly. 'I could have stepped back and laughed and sent you to your nice warm bed.'
'Why—why didn't you then?' Beth asked breathlessly, her eyes suddenly raised to his face, searching the contours of it with a beautiful bewilderment.
'I did not feel amused,' he confessed wryly. 'You offered your mouth sweetly and I took the gift greedily. I am no better than the next man, chérie.'
'You are!' she protested softly. 'You're very good to me, and sometimes I'm very annoying, I know.'
'In future,' he said deeply, pulling her to her feet, the discussion clearly over as far as he was concerned, 'I will try even harder to be good to you. Also, I will not kiss you again. I can see that it means too much to your English mind.'
A wave of pure disappointment washed across her face, and he laughed softly as he turned her to the door.
'Oh, you are delightful, ma petite,' he said amusedly. 'Perhaps I can offer myself an excuse.' He gave her a gentle little push to help her on her way. 'To your bed, Beth. It is time once again to curl up into a little ball and sleep. You have really used up a great deal of emotion tonight.'
'Gaetan?' She turned at the door and looked back at him with wistful eyes. 'Must I go out with Alain again? I enjoy the outings, but…'
'I think it is best if you do,' he said shortly, the gentle amusement dying in his eyes. 'In September you will begin at the university if you should so decide, and then you will have your days filled very nicely. There will be people there of your own age too, people with your own interests. Going out with Alain is a very good way of preparing you for other people with no risk whatever. By September, your feet will be firmly on the ground and you will have come to terms with the idea that there is more in life than a rather bad-tempered guardian!' He turned away rather abruptly and there was nothing more to say.
All Beth felt was a kind of deep loneliness, and she had brought things to a head by her idiotic actions. All she had learned was that she was jealous of Gabrielle and anyone else who had any claim on Gaetan, and it only confirmed what he said. She had been unloved and lonely, and she had fastened her affections on Gaetan as soon as he had offered her any kind of excuse. If that wasn't the action of a child, what was?
As usual, he was correct and she had furthermore caused him distress and embarrassment. All the same, as she curled up in her bed, she remembered Gaetan's lips on hers, demanding and hard, and the forbidden feelings raged through her, making her moan aloud and bury her head beneath the sheets. For the first time in her life, something inside her had awakened from a long sleep and it ate at her with a bitter and sweet pain that kept her awake for many hours.
She saw little of Gaetan now, and she had no idea where he spent his time when he was not working, but common sense told her that he was with Gabrielle. He had told her that he took Gabrielle out frequently, and she imagined that it would not be a platonic friendship. She tried her best to follow the code he had laid out for her. She never refused an outing with Alain, and she studied hard every day.
Alain, too, never seemed to tire of her company, and he was a cheerful and gallant companion, never making the slightest attempt to do more than occasionally hold her hand. She was glad of that. It had dawned on her very gradually that she did not wish to have anyone else kiss her, not after Gaetan, and she felt worried about that too. Maybe she was not quite normal. Maybe that was what being cut off from the real world did to people.
Whatever it was, she had no wish to experiment. It was a question that her mind asked and then refused flatly to look at any more deeply. She simply dared not think too much about it.
Her life went on with a well planned smoothness until one night, whe
n without warning Alain's car stopped in a dark lane close to a village and refused to start, even after he had sworn at it ferociously under his breath.
'What's wrong with it?' Beth asked, her amusement at the incident fading into unease as the silence closed around them and the darkness made itself felt even in the car.
'God knows!' Alain exclaimed irritably. 'One thing I do know though, Gaetan is never going to believe this!'
'But it's not your fault!' Beth assured him in astonishment. 'I don't really see what you can do about it. Gaetan will be out anyway, he always is.'
'It is almost midnight,' Alain said ruefully. 'We are not too far off, but by the time I get this sorted out, Gaetan will be on the warpath.'
'Heavens! You're a grown man!' Beth laughed, her face highly amused now in the darkness.
'And you, ma chère, are a grown woman!' Alain shot back. 'Gaetan seems to think that you are nothing of the kind, however, and if I tell him the old story of the broken-down car and the lonely road he will take me apart. I step wide of Gaetan, he's dangerous, especially where you're concerned!'
'Well, it's only because he's responsible for me. He takes his duties very seriously,' Beth said in Gaetan's defence, trying to ignore the little trickle of fear that came at the thought of Gaetan's wrath.
'Naturellement!' Alain said with an ironic note in his voice that she could not understand. 'However, this is not helping. I will see what can be done.'
For a while he worked under the bonnet of the car with a flashlight while Beth sat in growing anxiety in the warmth of the car. Finally though she stepped out into the silent road and approached Alain.
'I've been thinking,' she began, her eyes on the rolled-up shirt-sleeves and the thick grease that seemed intent on covering his hands. 'We passed a little cafe back there, only a few yards back. There were people in it.'
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