'I can swim very well,' Beth managed through trembling lips. 'I've been swimming for years. I even have a small medal.'
'Do you also have one for stupidity?' he rasped in a caustic voice. 'I will have one prepared for you! You have suffered a shock sufficiently severe to chill your skin and then you plunge yourself into water that I would hesitate to enter without a wet-suit!'
'I'm fine,' Beth muttered as he strode up to her. She bent to pick up her towel but he snatched it from her and began to rub her arms and back with a great deal of angry vigour.
'You are not fine,' he snarled. 'You are simply crazy!'
'Let me go! I can manage without you very well!' She pulled the towel from him and turned her back but he spun her around, his eyes blazing with anger.
For a second or two they faced each other furiously and then all anger died from his face and he eased the towel from her and gently draped it around her, taking the ends and pulling her towards him.
'You make me very angry,' he muttered, his face darkening as he looked into her eyes. 'You walk into danger and nearly give me a heart attack and then you run away from me and plunge into an icy sea. What am I to do with you?'
'I didn't want you bothering about me,' she told him shakily and he smiled wryly with little humour.
'Bothering? What else can I be but bothered when you spend the morning on the beach looking like this?' He let the towel swing open, his eyes lingering on her slender hips and then on the swell of her breasts, his gaze narrowing when her breasts tightened beneath the searching eyes.
'You—you told me to buy it,' she whispered, horrified at the excitement that was even now racing through her, and he had not yet touched her, his hands were still on the towel.
'Sometimes I too am foolish,' he murmured. 'I never visualised how you would look in it, what little part of you there is in it.'
'Gabrielle wore a bikini,' she reminded him in desperation, but he only looked at her vaguely.
'Did she? I didn't notice,' he muttered. He let the towel go, watching its progress as it slipped to the sand, and then his hands reached out for her as if they were doing it against his will. 'It is ages since I kissed you,' he breathed, his lips searching her flushed cheeks, 'and I have never stopped thinking about it for even a second.'
As he drew her towards him her arms wound around his neck. If there was to be no other time than this then she would at least have this to remember and he accepted her instant surrender, tightening her to him, his breath leaving him in a shuddering sigh as he felt her skin against his, the length of her slender, silken legs smoothed against the hard power of his own.
'You never refuse me, do you?' he asked huskily, 'And I wonder why. Even when you were so very antagonistic when we were first in Paris you did not refuse me.'
She clung to him, her head tossed back, offering the slender length of her throat to his searching kisses. It's because I love you, she thought wildly, but that was something he would never know. Here and now they were as one and she would store this moment for the rest of her life.
'I should let you go,' he was whispering against her ear, his teeth nibbling at her ear with an almost painful intensity. 'I have no right to touch you, but in my mind I hear your little cries and I want to hear them again.'
He drew her to the warmth of the large bath-sheet that they had used to sunbathe and she snuggled against him softly and willingly, her arms clinging to him as he stroked her back. In her forbidden dreams she had been here in his arms before, her skin warm against his, his legs entangled with hers, his kisses burning her, and the reality was so much more erotic than her dreams, so much more overpowering. A small sound of longing escaped from deep in her throat and he gasped, turning her face to his, his hands urgent.
'Do you know what that does to me?' he demanded in a whisper, his eyes burning into hers. 'Do you know what your soft and eager body does to me? I am going out of my mind, and I cannot have you!'
A small whimper of sound signalled her distress, and her eyes were as grey as the sea, shimmering and pleading, and he groaned like a man in agony, crushing her against him.
'Open your mouth for me, chérie,' he gasped. 'Something must quell this raging fire!'
It did not, though. As her trembling lips opened he claimed them with a driving urgency that added flames to those already there and within seconds they were even more tightly together, drowning in each other, the sea a distant and unheard sound, the empty beach an island alone in time.
'Beth!'
He tore his mouth away to enjoy the pleasure of her smooth shoulders, his lips trailing hot kisses along their rounded softness and on to her neck. His hands were warm and hard, compelling her even closer, holding her to him as she struggled to melt into him and lose herself forever.
'I need to hold you, to touch you!' he murmured thickly. 'I have no right to touch you and yet—I must!'
His lips moved along the rising swell of her breast, his tongue flicking against the edge of her bikini-top as if tempting fate, a temptation that he resisted with a supreme effort of will, but he allowed his mouth to search for the hard peak and his lips covered it through the thin material, his teeth tightening gently on the hard bud and bringing a low moan from her lips.
'I want you, tu comprends?' he whispered hotly. 'I want to forget that you are anything other than a girl who is in my arms, eager to belong to me.' He raised his eyes that held their own torment. 'You do want to belong to me, do you not, chérie! At least, tell me that!'
'You know that I do!' she moaned. 'Love me, Gaetan!'
She pulled his head back to hers and for one lingering second, he tensed with passion, his hand sliding into the back of her bikini briefs, cupping her hip, his fingers flexing with desire, but with a low groan he released her and rolled away, leaving her trembling and bereft.
'No! I cannot! This is a madness and it must pass!'
'It won't! It won't pass, not for me!' Beth cried, tears in her eyes, her whole being aching.
'Chérie! It must!'
He stood and drew her to her feet, dressing her in her towelling wrap as she stood lifelessly with bent head. He wiped away her tears and drew her softly into his arms, cradling her head to him.
'Had it been anyone but you,' he confessed softly, 'I would not have resisted. I would have allowed myself to sink into heaven. But you are forbidden to me. The promise that I made to your uncle, the trust that I forced you to place in me that I am even now betraying, your whole life stretching before you, all these and more place you for ever beyond my reach.' He cupped her face, forcing her to meet his dark eyes. 'Let us be honest with each other, Beth,' he said seriously. 'Since we met, we have signalled to each other in the ways of men and women since time began. You did it even before you realised it, and I did it even against my will. We have signalled with our eyes, with our anger, with our laughter. We have had times of gentle friendship, but always the air between us has echoed with desire. Desire is not real, it does not last. I have fallen into its trap before in my life and lived to pay the price, to regret bitterly. I will not have you with the same regrets. You have a future before you, a whole life. I cannot offer you a matching innocence.' He bent his head and kissed her cheek tenderly. 'One day you will smile at this heated time and you will realise that you were only just beginning to be a woman and that I was captivated by you. We will laugh at it together.'
There was a finality about his words that numbed her and she shook her head slowly. It would never pass for her. She loved him! His desire would pass, though. Was she then expected to remain a friend and see him with someone else who was more a part of his world? Someone like Gabrielle? She rested her head against his chest for one minute and then walked off slowly up the beach, leaving Gaetan to collect their things and follow.
Lunch was a silent and unhappy meal with both Alain and Gabrielle in various stages of anger. It had not escaped their notice that Gaetan and Beth had been a long time in returning from the beach, and it was not
helped on the return trip when Gaetan's possessive voice insisted that Beth sit with him in the front.
'I wish to keep an eye on her!' he said stiffly.
'I also have an eye!' Alain said with deep irony, not even blinking when Gaetan glared at him.
'My eyes know what to watch for!' Gaetan retorted, helping Beth into the front, and they were forced to comply with his wishes.
'Are you still coming to the concert tomorrow, Beth?' Alain asked as they dropped him at his home.
'Er—yes, of course. Seven for dinner and then the concert. We dress up splendidly, right?'
She smiled as brightly as she could but his annoyance was still thick in the air.
'I will call for you just before seven,' he said tersely, and his goodnights were stiff with anger.
Beth darted a glance at Gaetan as they drove off in the gathering dusk. 'You don't mind?' she asked softly.
'You will enjoy it,' he said evenly, no sign of any emotion in his deep voice. 'I would imagine that Alain is really good for you.'
There was nothing more to say. His desire seemed to have vanished as if it had never been, and she could hardly believe the words he had spoken to her on the beach. He was a man, and desire was nothing new to him. Love was new to her, though, and she felt the burden heavily, too heavily almost to breathe.
CHAPTER NINE
The next morning, even before breakfast, he had gone, and Beth knew that this was the pattern of things to come. He would fight the feelings he had for her and would no doubt win; desire did not last, he had told her that. She could not fight her love, though, and she had no wish to. The only thing possible was to leave.
At lunch time when he arrived home unexpectedly she followed him into the library and brought up the subject on her mind at once.
'May I speak to you, Gaetan?'
He turned to her with a wary look on his face at the determined sound of her voice. 'Can it not wait? I am very busy!' There was a very harsh sound to his voice and she took a deep breath, meeting his frowning gaze firmly.
'No. I want to talk to you before you go back to the city.'
'Very well, Beth.' He motioned to a seat. 'We may as well be comfortable as we talk.'
'It won't take long. I'll stand, thank you,' she told him quietly and he shrugged, leaning against the desk and indicating by a movement of his hand that she should begin.
'I want to go back to London.' She said it in as even a voice as she could manage and he looked at her expressionlessly, clearly about to say nothing at all.
'I want to go as soon as possible,' she continued in a rush. 'I know that it will mean that you have to release a larger allowance to me, but I want to go.' Her voice rose a little when he simply stared at her and said nothing. 'Even if you won't release any allowance at all I…!'
'I will!' He went on steadily watching her. 'I will do anything you wish.'
She wanted to cry out and rush to him, begging to stay, but he turned abruptly and walked to the window, looking out into the sunlit garden, his hands thrust deep into his pockets.
'I will make arrangements for you. I have to be sure that you are going to live in a suitable place. By the end of next week, I can have everything arranged, I imagine, and then I will take you back.'
'No!' She bit back the frantic words that were on the end of her tongue. 'I prefer to go alone! I—I'm sorry…'
'Do not apologise,' he said quietly. 'I am accustomed to your decisions. I will make everything as easy for you as possible.' He turned to her and simply looked at her with dark and unfathomable eyes. 'If there is anything else?'
'No.' She clenched her hands, stopping them from reaching out to him, and his face was neither angry nor forgiving.
'Very well. I will arrange it. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go.' He picked up his briefcase and walked out and Beth sank to a chair. She had done the only thing possible, but it felt as if she had ended her own life.
She prepared in good time for her outing with Alain. She did not want him hanging around and finding out how things were between herself and Gaetan. Even so, he was there just a little too early and as she came downstairs he was in the hall with Gaetan.
'You look very beautiful, Beth,' Alain said with a smile of pleasure, and she took the compliment graciously.
'You did say that I must dress well for the occasion,' she reminded him, 'and this seemed to fit the bill, although I much prefer the one that I wore for my birthday party.'
It was out before she thought about it, and her eyes met Gaetan's with a kind of delayed shock. That night he had kissed her in the garden, awoken forbidden feelings, recognised her desire. Her face flushed and she saw an answering blaze of colour across his high cheekbones. Once again it was there, this aching, singing feeling that hung between them, and she moved towards Alain and escape.
'One moment!' Gaetan's voice stopped them and she turned to meet his harsh and unsmiling gaze. 'Come into the library. You are wearing a Vernais gown and we must make the most of it.'
He already had the safe open as she walked in followed by Alain and he turned to her with a glittering band of light in his hand.
'This will finish the effect, I think.'
He moved towards her and she stood trembling as his hands came to her skin, his fingers making her burn as he fastened the necklace around her slender neck.
He stepped back quickly as if he was making quite sure that the contact between them should be broken as quickly as possible.
'Good God!' Alain's voice was a shocked murmur. 'That thing is just about priceless! It's a family heirloom… Hell! Gaetan, we'll need an armed guard with us!'
'It is perfect!' Gaetan said coldly, turning Beth to the mirror so that she could see the glitter of stones around her neck. 'It belonged to my grandmother, and that does not make it hundreds of years old. It is not priceless, merely valuable, and it is insured. I wish Beth to wear it!'
'All right, I'll take a cosh with me!' Alain said with little humour.
'It is up to Beth to accept the fact that she will wear it!' Gaetan said sharply.
'I—I'll take great care of it,' Beth said quietly, avoiding his eyes. 'Thank you for letting me wear it.'
'Do not allow it to spoil your evening,' he said in an off-hand voice, turning to lock the safe. 'Do not, either, let me keep you any longer.'
Her eyes met Alain's startled gaze and she was glad to get out of the house.
'What's the matter with Gaetan?' he asked as they drove off, and she managed a shrug of indifference.
'He's just annoyed,' she said vaguely. 'We don't always see eye to eye.' She knew that he was watching her closely but he said nothing further on the subject.
It was a successful evening and Alain as usual set out to charm her, and of course the music was beautiful, but through it all and even through the supper that they took later at a smart restaurant, Beth could not keep her mind from Gaetan, and her fingers strayed often to the glittering stones that he had placed around her neck.
She wasn't sure how she would be able to live without him. It was something that she would have to face because he would never change his mind, and he was not deeply involved with her anyway. Even if he had given her no encouragement at all, she would still have felt like this. From her first real sight of him, standing forbidding and alarming in the glaring light of her little room in England, she had felt a shivering panic that was not really fear. She had felt awareness.
As they drove back to the house she was silent, and Alain mistook her silence for apprehension.
'If you like, I'll come inside and face Gaetan with you,' he offered with a laugh. 'He looked very grim, and I would not like to see the very nice evening spoiled by a battle with Gaetan before you go to bed. We are very late, after all.'
'Gaetan will be either out, or asleep,' she assured him. 'There's only the hall light on, and I shall let myself in now and creep up to bed.'
'If you are sure.'
He suddenly leaned across and
pulled her into his arms.
'Tonight, I will kiss you, Beth,' he said determinedly. 'I have been very careful and left you to show me that you want to be kissed, but I begin to think that I will be waiting for ever.'
She did not resist. Gaetan would never again kiss her and she was utterly without feelings as far as anyone else was concerned. As Alain's lips sought hers, she closed her eyes and accepted it, waiting for some of the explosion of feeling that she had when Gaetan touched her. Nothing happened at all except distaste that the lips were not Gaetan's and the arms that held her gently were not his.
Her expression showed her indifference and Alain's eyes narrowed on her icily cold face.
'You are not trying, ma chère,' he said softly. 'This time, you must co-operate!'
He lowered his head again but a wave of panic hit her and a feeling that she was in some way betraying Gaetan and her love for him.
She struggled wildly but he was too involved really to notice and his hand tightened on her neck, his fingers sinking into the softness of her shoulder, his mouth determinedly on hers.
'No!' She tore herself away, her frantic cry bringing him to his senses, and he released her, leaning back and lighting a cigarette as she strove to get her frightened heartbeats under control.
'Take it easy, Beth. You are quite safe,' he muttered angrily. 'You have always been safe with me. If you had not been, I can assure you that Gaetan would have allowed no outings whatever.'
'I—I'm sorry, Alain,' she whispered shakily. 'I should simply have said no at the beginning.'
'Do not trouble yourself, ma chère,' he said in a taut voice. 'I do recognise a refusal.' He paused for a moment and then said with an angry movement of his hands, 'It is Gaetan, is it not? You cannot bear to have other kisses!'
'Why—why are you saying things like that?' Beth pleaded in a distraught voice.
'Because I am, as you once told me, a grown man! I have known for some considerable time that Gaetan wants you very badly. It has not done much for my peace of mind either to see the way that you react to him! I know, however, that you are not entirely his possession, because there is a very hungry look about the pair of you that would not be there had you been spending the nights in his bed!'
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