by Jen Minkman
Amber couldn’t help giggling. “Okay, guilty as charged. There’s just something about Navajo people, you know?” she grinned, winking at Hannah.
“So, what do your parents think of Em?”
“Oh, they love her. I can tell.”
“Have you told them yet that you two are an item?”
“Don’t have to. They’re not blind.” Amber got up from the breakfast table. “By the way, I have to go. I promised I’d come with them to Page before they’re off to Window Rock at noon. See you tonight, okay?”
“Say hi to your family,” Hannah called after her.
As she was having breakfast, Hannah got the feeling she was sitting on pins and needles. As soon as she’d gobbled down her toast, she went into Ben’s bedroom to drag out his laptop and USB modem. This was going to be expensive, but fortunately, Ben would only see the bills after he got home. She just had to know more about the history of Navajo Nation now that she was slowly starting to believe she’d dreamed about real events that had happened in the past.
She did a Google search on ‘Navajo History’ and clicked on a few links that looked interesting. “The Long Walk,” she mumbled to herself, scrolling through a page filled with details about the cruel transportation of Navajo natives to a reservation in the east of the country, during which they were forced to walk for days without pause. It had happened just after the Civil War. Before that, Mexicans had still been active in Navajo territory. Hannah pulled the laptop closer when her eyes fell on a description of Mexicans stealing people to turn them into slaves – entire villages would be ransacked and women and children would be abducted to serve in the mines. The website featured some scans of black-and-white photographs of soldiers wearing uniforms that looked strikingly familiar. Her heart started thumping even more when she saw some old pictures of Navajo villages built just after the Navajo people’s release from the reservation in the east. The houses looked exactly the same as in her dreams. Octagonal, low constructions with dark clay on the outside.
Oh my God. So now she knew. It wasn’t just her imagination, and those skinwalkers were probably not making her dream about the past either. If it were true – if she really knew Josh from a past lifetime, shouldn’t she tell him?
Not the most brilliant of ideas right now. They’d just shared a few kisses together – hardly enough reason to claim they’d already shared a life together. He’d probably think she was a sucker for predestination and get away while he still could.
Still, she couldn’t let things rest. Even though Amber and Emily tried to distract her by taking her out that afternoon and keeping quiet about the skinwalker curse, she couldn’t stop thinking about her now absent dreams about the past.
On Friday morning, she finally decided to go back to the Page library and bury herself in history books. If that didn’t help, she could ask Nick for help. After all, he’d been reading up on Navajo history a lot.
“You’re all set for a day trip to remember?” Emily asked dryly, when Hannah clomped out of her bedroom with a shoulder bag full of notebooks, pens and a big bottle of water.
“Yeah, I’m off to the library. I’m planning to read up on Navajo history, now that my dreams about the past have stopped.”
“Ah. Because of that reincarnation idea,” Emily nodded. They’d talked about it last night, Amber playing the part of talk show host, making her case for her past-life theory.
“Yes, I really want to find out whether all those images I’ve been seeing are real memories. Maybe not the most exciting trip ever, but interesting nonetheless. How about you two? Are you going to go sightseeing today?”
“Yes, we’re going to visit Water Hole Canyon,” Amber replied. “We’ll be back in the evening. My parents will be home by then, too. We’ll all have dinner together.”
“Why don’t you just take Ben’s laptop to Grassroots?” Emily asked. “They have free WiFi there. Seems a lot easier than perusing books in the library.”
“Are you kidding? Ben’s laptop is carbon-dated. There’s no WiFi reception on that thing,” Hannah complained. “He hasn’t bought new stuff in years. He’d rather wait till things disintegrate before he replaces anything.”
Emily suppressed a giggle. “Poor you. Well then, the library it is.”
The three girls cleaned up the kitchen. Emily and Amber left for Water Hole Canyon with their cracking exhaust pipe, and Hannah drove off to Page Library to plow her way through a pile of books, seated on the very same couch where she’d met Nick one week before. Her cell phone was switched off. She’d called her mother in Alaska for a quick chat – she was staying with their aunt for the summer – but now it was time to leave the modern world behind for a while.
The hours flew by. Hannah completely lost herself in the nineteenth-century history of the reservation and the Diné people. She was so focused on her books that she forgot to have lunch altogether. When she finally switched on her phone again and saw that Ben had just texted her they were on their way back, she felt weak with hunger. The good thing was she had ten pages of notes about the books she’d studied. All the info she’d gathered made her head spin. The more she’d learned about the history of the Diné, the more she was convinced she really was seeing images from the past in her dreams. The descriptions of the tumultuous time period between 1800 and 1840 on Navajo soil exactly matched her dream experience – she’d lived an unsafe, stressed and dangerous life.
On her way back to the Datsun, Hannah was plagued by a funny-feeling stomach. This had nothing to do with hunger pangs anymore – she was nervous. She’d see Josh again, and he’d said he needed time. How would he react to her after three days of separation?
Heart in throat, she drove around the bend near the log cabins and blinked her eyes when she saw the empty driveway. Okay, so they weren’t back yet. Maybe that was for the better. She was in dire need of a fresh shower and some serious lunch anyway.
Her heart sped up to a hum when at three o’clock sharp, she heard the Chevy’s engine in the distance. Josh parked the car on the drive and turned down the volume on the radio to shut up Ben, who was singing along.
“Hey, sis!” Ben bounded out of the car and up the porch steps. His nose was sunburned, and his hair had gotten even lighter in the past few days. “You still alive?”
“Barely. Of course, I was bored to death without having you guys around.”
Ben hugged her tight. Hannah was acutely aware of Josh turning off the engine, locking the car door and approaching the steps leading up to the porch during Ben’s hug. When Ben let go of her and popped open one of the cans of beer on the table, Josh stood next to her. She felt a blush creep up her face when she looked into his dark brown eyes.
“Hey, shan díín,” he said softly, a gentle smile on his face.
“H-hey,” she stammered. “How ... how have you been?” Screw this. The desire she felt pulsing through her veins made her turn into a monosyllabic, blabbing idiot again. Plus, she felt the pressing urge to fling herself into his arms and get a hug from him too. A long and intense one. But Ben was sitting right next to them. It would be downright embarrassing to have Ben bear witness to a prolonged ‘My Best Buddy is Groping My Sister’ show. Or the other way around. So far, Josh wasn’t making a move.
“I had a good time,” Josh said. “The weather was fantastic, we visited all the sites I wanted to show the guys. Nick thanked us at least fifty times for taking him with us. Mission ‘Promote the Rez’ accomplished.”
“Didn’t he feel like joining us for the barbecue tonight?”
“He was kind of tired,” Ben mumbled, chewing on some pasta leftovers from Hannah’s plate. “I think he had a mild case of heatstroke, because he was complaining about a headache.”
Ben and Josh went on to tell Hannah about their hike on the reservation. Hannah lied to Ben about being in touch with Officer Curry. She also told Ben she hadn’t suffered from nightmares any more after he left on Wednesday, but of course she couldn’t tell him why.
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“I’m really glad to hear it.” Ben patted her on the back, giving her a warm smile.
She cringed. Damn, it was terrible having to keep things from him. She wished she could tell him about the skinwalkers’ curse, but there was no point freaking him out or being put into a straitjacket before the barbecue had even started.
“Wonderful.” Josh smiled fondly at her. “But I’ll still help you make a dreamcatcher. I haven’t forgotten.”
It was so strange to see him again. Strange, because somehow it seemed like Wednesday morning had never happened. He sat across from her and didn’t even try to hold her hand or scoot closer. He’d said he needed time – and she was truly willing to give him what he asked for – but still. She felt a bit betrayed by the gentlemanly distance he was keeping. Now it really felt like she was his big sister. She was happy she could flee to the kitchen and prepare the burgers and salad as Josh and Ben were firing up the barbecue.
Hannah set the microwave to defrost the veggie burgers and hamburgers, while rummaging through the fridge to pull out the ingredients for a niçoise salad. Cutting the onions was a horrible job – she always cried her eyes out, no matter how sharp the knife or how quickly she turned on the tap. With a grunt, Hannah tried to rub the tears from her cheeks with the back of one hand.
“Hannah?” a voice suddenly sounded behind her. Josh’s voice. She saw him stepping into the kitchen through a blur of tears, furiously trying to blink them away and restore her vision.
He moved up next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Hey... are you crying?” he asked quietly.
Her heart melted into a puddle when she heard the worry in his voice.
“Yes,” she sniffed. “It’s that onion.” She pointed an accusing finger at the cutting board.
Josh started to laugh. “Don’t tell me. What did that onion do to you?” he asked, all fired-up. “Did it call you names? Hit you? Don’t be afraid, I’ll protect you.”
Hannah bit back an inane giggle. “Nutcase,” she blurted out, rubbing the tears from her eyes.
“Crybaby,” he teased.
Hannah bit her lip. His teasing called for a smart comeback, but the look in his brown eyes suddenly made her forget every possible intelligent line. Silently, Josh pulled her closer and used one thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “There,” he said. His fingers brushed her upper lip, where a single tear had landed. Hannah was speechless, her heart hammering in her chest and her breath stopping at the same time. Josh pushed her up against the kitchen counter and looked at her longingly.
“I’ve really missed you,” he whispered.
Hannah’s heart almost exploded with love. “I’ve missed you too,” she mumbled.
Josh lowered his head and lightly kissed her forehead. Her breath hitched when his hands slid down to her hips and he kissed her again, on her mouth this time, hungrily. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his mouth with a soft groan.
Before Josh could deepen the kiss, Hannah suddenly heard Ben stomping into the kitchen. “What the heck are you doing with those burgers? Oh, here they are,” he muttered when he yanked the microwave open.
“Sorry,” Josh said, turning around. Hannah turned beet red.
“No problem,” Ben replied with a smirk. “Don’t mind me. I’m not here.”
“Well, could you try to have a slightly less strong absence?” Hannah grunted.
Ben and Josh burst out laughing. “Come on, I’ll help you grill the burgers,” Josh offered. He let go of Hannah, but not before planting a feather kiss on her mouth, grinning boyishly. She stared at him when he walked away from her, her eyes roving over his muscular arms and broad shoulders. Completely dazzled, she went back to cutting the onion and mixing the salad. Wow. She suddenly felt a lot better.
When she came outside carrying a big bowl of salad, Ben and Josh were grilling the first couple of burgers. “Can I help you with anything?” she called out, putting the salad on the porch table.
“Yeah, keep an eye on the burgers,” Ben hollered back. “I’m going to unpack the camping gear and Josh needs to use the bathroom.”
Hannah grabbed a pair of barbecue tongs and started flipping the burgers, while Ben busied himself dragging the tent and camping bags out of the car. Josh went inside. Her mind drifted as she stared at the beautiful red mountains on the other side of Lake Powell. Maybe she should go camping on the rez as well. Emily could join her, or Ben ... or Josh. She wouldn’t mind pitching a tent with him and get up close and personal inside it. She smiled dazedly and couldn’t believe her luck. She was having a realistic daydream for once. Josh really, really liked her.
The smell of scorched veggie burgers brought her back to reality.
“Hey, what’s burning?” Ben shouted, pulling at the ground sheet balled up inside the Chevy’s trunk.
“Oh, shoot.” Moaning in desperation, she tried to save the veggie burgers by flipping them again. The other side didn’t look so bad.
Josh stormed out of the log cabin and grabbed another pair of tongs to help her out. “Food fighter to the rescue,” he chuckled. “Food hasn’t been your best friend tonight so far, has it? First it was the onion and now it’s the burgers getting to you.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Honestly, I think it’s me. Don’t blame the food.”
“Good thing I’m always around when you’re in trouble.”
Hannah snorted. “Oh yeah? Maybe it’s you. You’re trouble, I just know it.”
Josh fell silent and stared at her, the smile fading from his lips. Gingerly, he took a step back.
Okay. Clearly, she’d said something wrong. But what? “I was just fooling around,” she mumbled, taken aback. “Sorry.”
Josh blew out a shaky breath and nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
“Sorry,” she clumsily repeated.
“It’s okay,” he said curtly, walking away to help Ben fold the ground sheet.
Hannah sighed. If only she could find out which buttons to push and which ones to leave alone, or discover what his touchy-feely subjects were. Because she sure as heck wasn’t going to stay away from him. The attraction between them was so strong she felt it in every fiber of her body. Even now, when he was standing at a good twenty paces away from her, she could sense his presence, his aura reaching out to her.
Sure, it was difficult to be with him. But it would be even more difficult to let him go.
“Man, that trek through the rez made me hungry.” Ben burped, gulping down the last swig of beer from his can after dinner. “Let me do the dishes and leave you two turtledoves outside.” He got up and piled up the plates to take them inside.
Josh grinned. “Thanks, shik’is. I’m going to show your sister how to start making her dreamcatcher.”
Hannah got up and fetched the paper bag from the living room. Hopefully, Josh wouldn’t notice she’d already cut off a piece from the leather strap to make a necklace for her medicine bundle. It was astonishing how much the magical item influenced her peace of mind – she felt the leather press against her ribcage, just right of her heart. It made calmness spread throughout her body. All fear was gone. In fact, she was even slightly curious what would happen if she ever ran into the skinwalkers again.
Josh was pensively staring into the flame of the lantern Ben had put outside to give them some extra light. When he looked up and pulled her down next to him, so close she could feel the warmth of his skin, Hannah blushed lightly. “Hi,” she mumbled. “Here’s the stuff we need.”
He pulled the intertwined ring of twigs from the bag. Hannah watched Josh wind the strap around the first bit of the ring, moving his long, slender fingers slowly on purpose so she could see how he did it. “Now you try.” He handed her the dreamcatcher hoop. His fingers touched hers for just a split second, but it made her shiver pleasantly. Carefully, she tried to imitate Josh and wind the strap around the twigs as tight as she could.
“Like this?” she asked quietly, looking aside.
“
Yeah – like that,” he replied in a husky voice. “Jó nizhóní. You’re doing great.”
It felt inexplicably comfortable when he talked to her in Diné Bizaad. Somehow, it reminded her of her dreams of him, talking to her in his own language. When would she risk telling him something about that?
Josh looked for the white thread in the bag, then grabbed both her hands and showed her the best way to fix it and start the weaving pattern. As he was watching her weave, he suddenly brought up dreams himself.
“The Diné believe the night sky is filled with thoughts, good and bad ones,” he softly told her. “They can enter a person’s dream. The dreamcatcher catches the good and bad dreams, and gives you the good ones only.”
Hannah had finished the first round of stitches, and started the second round with Josh’s instructions.
“When the entire inner part of the ring is filled with the woven thread, you leave a small hole in the middle. That’s the gateway for the good dreams to enter your head. The bad dreams get stuck in the web and dissipate in the first light of day.”
Hannah looked up to see if Ben was still busy in the kitchen, but the light above the counter was out. The window looking out over the porch was dark. In the flickering light of the candle flame, Hannah saw her own face reflected in the glass, Josh’s face right next to her. He watched her with an almost imperceptible smile. The soft light gave them both a halo, and for a moment, Hannah could almost understand what kind of aura Amber saw when she observed the two of them together.
She smiled back at Josh. This was like looking at him that time in his own hoghan, her face just above his shoulder, his mirror a silent spy on the wall, clearly reflecting back what was passing between them.
Josh’s smile turned cheeky. He turned his face toward her and pressed a light kiss to her cheek, so soft it felt like a butterfly landing on her skin. Blushing, she cast down her eyes, seeing his hand slide across hers.
“Stop weaving for a minute,” he whispered close to her face.
He took the ring from her hands and picked up the silver wire from the table. “I’m going to weave in some silver. And turquoise.”