by Jen Minkman
A sudden shiver ran through her. The hate, directed at her from a dark place behind the veil, was almost palpable. It was an unsettling sensation – very different from the panic and sense of haunting she’d had before, when the curse made her believe she was crazy. She had a new kind of perception of the enemy. Now, she could feel how they worked.
“I can feel them watching us,” she whispered, without saying who she meant out loud. “They’re angry because we’ve been connected by entering the veil together. I am stronger, and so are you. Together, we stand a better chance of fighting them, and they know it.”
“Are you more terrified, now that you can feel them so clearly?” Josh asked.
“No. They are no longer shrouded in shadows. I can look them in the eye, and it makes me stronger than before.”
After that, they sat in silence, limbs entangled under the blanket. The fire had almost gone out, but Hannah didn’t feel like stirring it up again. In that moment, she felt completely at peace. Josh’s breath tickled her neck, and his hands rested on her back.
He was so beautiful. He was such an amazing person, and she loved him more than ever after this experience. The burden of a world at war had borne down on his shoulders for centuries, and yet she had managed to make him incredibly happy by offering him her love. It gave her silent hope that everything would work out in the end.
“Have you guys finished?” Ben’s voice suddenly came from outside. Her brother hesitantly stuck his head round the door. When he saw his sister and his best friend, a relieved smile appeared on his face. “Oh, good. You’re still alive.”
“Yes, we are.” Josh grinned. “And have been for centuries.”
Hannah wanted to join in the laughter shared between them, but she couldn’t. She could only stare at Ben, mouth agape and her heart beating wildly in her chest. She saw Ben looking at Josh, a warm, gentle light in his eyes. She recognized him, not as her brother, but as someone else. So that’s why she’d seen more than one of Josh’s lives. She recognized the look Ben had in his eyes when he looked at Josh, from the visions of the past she had just watched. Shash had given her access to more information for a reason.
When Ben had still been a little boy, he’d been plagued by horrible nightmares for months. Whenever he woke up at night, he would usually come to her bedroom, crying and begging her to comfort him. Sometimes, she’d go to him when she heard him crying in his sleep. She’d sit on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair and asking him what had upset him. Ben had been too young to really properly explain everything about his nightmares, but time and time again, he had told her that he saw planes, smoke, and angry people shooting guns. He would wake up screaming the moment his one leg was blown off by a big bomb in the ground, as he had called it.
After a few months, the dreams had vanished, and Ben had slept like a log each night. When he was older, he couldn’t remember his dreams about war, but Hannah had never forgotten it. She’d always wondered why her little brother had seen such terrible things in his sleep, and now she finally knew.
Ben was Nantai. He’d been Josh’s brother in his previous life. When Ben had stepped into the hoghan, for a split second he’d had the exact same demeanor, the same way of looking at Josh. So Nantai had returned as well, keeping his promise. He would help Josh in this life to lift the skinwalker curse.
This was amazing. The universe wasn’t as unfair and senseless as it sometimes seemed. Everything was connected. Ties between people never really disappeared. She was a part of something bigger that she would never be able to fully comprehend, and didn’t necessarily need to comprehend in order to trust in it.
“Sorry I was MIA for so long,” she mumbled to Ben. “I had no idea it would take two whole days.”
“I didn’t know either,” Josh hastily added. “Shash clearly took his time with us.”
“Did he select the images I was allowed to see from your past?” Hannah said.
“Yes. Everything that was important to you and me was shown to you.” He caressed her face, and Hannah remembered how her own eyes had lovingly stared into his, one hundred and fifty years ago, the day she blew out her final breath.
“I never stopped loving you,” she whispered. “I know that now. I felt it in my dreams, too. I regretted leaving you.” She pressed her lips to his mouth, and heard him sigh almost inaudibly. Now he finally had the answer to one of the many questions that had plagued him, even though it was more than a century later.
Ben had plonked down next to them, stirring the fire. “So, aren’t you guys starving by now?” he inquired, bringing them back to earth. “Or did that bear organize you a barbecue goodbye party before you woke up again?”
Hannah and Josh both burst out laughing. “Nutjob.” Josh playfully pushed Ben.
“No, we didn’t even have drinks and nibbles,” Hannah said with mock-annoyance. “Shash was such a bad host. Unbelievable.”
Ben grinned. “Well, fortunately for you, I am a good host. I convinced Yazzie and Nick to prepare a big feast for you. Lots of food. What do you guys say?”
“Sounds great! Let’s go.” Josh wanted to get up, but Hannah pulled him back down, holding on to the blanket covering them both.
“Uh, wait. My summer dress is still outside next to the sweatlodge.” She gave Ben an imploring look. “Would you please get that for me?”
Ben tentatively raised an eyebrow, but decided to keep his mouth shut. A few moments later, he returned with Hannah’s clothes in his hands. She wriggled into it while still under the blanket, flushing when Ben asked her with a hardly suppressed laugh in his voice, “Soooo... how did you like the ‘ritual’, sis?”
She could just hear the air quotes, and she shot him a sullen look. “It was sublime,” she quipped, sticking out her tongue at him.
Josh caught her eye, a teasing smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
“Sublime?” he quietly repeated, pulling her closer. “Wow. Thanks for sharing that with me.” The heat creeping up her face made him chuckle. He kissed her.
Ben coughed, a smile on his face too. “O-kayyy. Hands above the blanket now, people, or we’ll be sitting here till the trumpets sound. Please follow me to the banquet.”
Josh grabbed the blanket and slung it around his hips. Outside, he picked up his clothes and went behind the sweatlodge to change.
“So. Sublime, you said?” Ben winked at her when Josh was out of earshot.
She suddenly giggled. “Yeah, are you really surprised? He’s got centuries of experience, after all.”
They burst out laughing. When Josh reappeared, Hannah and Ben were still snickering. Hannah put her arm around Josh and kissed his cheek. “I love you,” she wholeheartedly said.
“Can you please finally tell me what kind of ritual you’ve been involved in?” Emily almost exploded when the whole gang was quietly enjoying a midnight dinner next to the Benally hoghan. Amber and Ivy would be staying with Emily, and Nick was crashing at Yazzie’s place. The circle was complete.
Hannah shook her head. “Not exactly, but it means we can fight the curse much better now.”
“And when are you going to try to lift it for good?”
“When we are ready. Ben is going to help us.”
“Ben?” Emily echoed, her voice traveling up two octaves.
Ben turned around to face the two girls. “Yes? Did you want more potatoes?” He held the bowl out to her.
“Uhm, yes, thank you.” Emily mumbled, turning red.
“Ben has a strong bond with both me and Josh. That’s why he’s suitable for the task,” Hannah softly explained.
And not just because of that – she knew that now. Hannah silently watched Ben, Josh’s big brother. Not just in this life, but also in the life before this one.
After dinner, Nick and Yazzie trotted off to bed. Amber and Ivy were also yawning and followed Emily to their accommodation for the night.
Ben killed his cigarette. “Time for bed.” He stretched, let out a yawn loud eno
ugh to wake up the entire village, and looked around him. “Uhm... where do I sleep?” he suddenly asked, a bit forlorn.
Josh sniggered. “Oh, poor soul. You’ve arranged this whole party for us and no one thought of arranging a mattress for you?”
“Why don’t you put some extra blankets on the floor in Josh’s hoghan?” Hannah suggested. “We don’t mind.”
Ben’s face took on a playful smirk. “Gee, thanks. Er... are you sure I won’t interfere with your sublime night, though?”
Hannah blushed, and Josh shook his head with a large grin. “Nope. After two sleepless nights, I doubt I’d be able to turn it into a sublime experience anyway.”
“Are you two going to use that word in front of me all the time now?” Hannah asked plaintively.
“Yes,” Ben and Josh piped up simultaneously. Then, all three of them snickered.
“Don’t we need to thank Sani?” Hannah yawned, once she’d crawled under the covers. Josh was fumbling with a few incense cones he wanted to light next to the bed.
“We’ll do it tomorrow. Sani is probably passed out too. He hasn’t slept a wink for two consecutive nights.”
“And when are we going to talk tactics? Make a plan to stop the skinwalkers?” Ben spoke up sleepily from the other side of the fire.
“We’ll do it tomorrow.” Josh chuckled. “What’s with the diligence, guys?”
“Good night,” Ben replied dryly. Not a minute later, content snoring filled the hoghan.
It was no big surprise they all slept in. Still, Hannah felt slightly embarrassed when she woke up at half past one. She opened her eyes and dug around in her bag to find her phone. Groaning, she looked at the time. “I’m such a sleepyhead!” she called out to Josh, who was just coming in, carrying two plates of frybread.
He squatted down next to the mattress and kissed her forehead. “That’s all right. I just woke up myself. Don’t feel ashamed.”
After breakfast, they went outside to visit Sani. “Where did Ben disappear to?” Hannah looked around to find him. “And what about the rest?”
“Ben asked us to come to St. Mary’s Port late afternoon. The girls went to the beach, and Nick is tagging along with Yazzie today to interview some people in the village for his studies.”
“I’m looking forward to spending some time in St. Mary’s Port.” Hannah slipped her hand into Josh’s. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Naabi’aani, but I have the feeling so many things have happened here. I’d almost say I need a vacation.”
He couldn’t suppress a laugh. “Well, you still have one month.”
“When will you go to Tuba City, anyway?”
“In a month.”
Hannah fell silent. All of a sudden, a month didn’t seem altogether that long. At the end of summer, she’d have to go back to her everyday life, and leave Josh in Navajo Nation. The thought quietly stabbed at her heart.
“I have one week off in the fall,” he pointed out, like he’d been reading her thoughts.
She smiled, squeezing his hand. “Me too.”
When they arrived at Sani’s hoghan, the old hataalii was sitting outside, reading a newspaper and sipping some coffee. It all looked so mundane Hannah giggled a bit. Who’d ever guess this man had hosted a spiritual ceremony to miraculously bring them back to the past?
“Ya’at’eeh,” he greeted them, putting down his paper. “Would you like some coffee?”
They both nodded. Sani poured them each a cup and sat back down again.
“I would really like to thank you for everything you have done for us, shicheii. Without your help, I’d never have been able to stay with Josh,” Hannah spoke quietly.
The hataalii smiled, laugh lines appearing around his eyes. “I’m happy to have been of help to you, but you did the most part yourself. Josh’s animal spirit has helped you, but the biggest help here was your love for each other.”
Sani got up and went inside his hoghan, to emerge again with a small leather pouch for Hannah. He handed it to her. “In here, I saved some of the colored sand I used for the ikaah during the ritual. Mix this with the content of your medicine bundle. It will make its protection extra strong.”
They quietly conversed about all kinds of things, time passing by slowly. Hannah noticed how comfortable Josh felt around Sani. Of course, the medicine man had always been an important place of refuge for him, ever since Josh had found out who he was after his vision quest. How had she ever been able to feel jealous of this old man? He was a wonderful person who had always supported Josh. When they finally had to leave for St. Mary’s Port, Hannah felt almost sorry to say goodbye to Sani.
“So, your parents – they really don’t know anything about your task as Shash?” she asked, once they were en route to St. Mary’s Port, driving down Copper Mine Road in Josh’s Mustang. “Surely they must suspect something is going on with you.”
Josh looked sideways. “They know Sani and I share secrets I cannot discuss with anyone else. They are too discreet to ask me about it. I think they have an inkling I’m trying to do really important work for our country, but they don’t know why.”
“How much longer?” she asked, almost inaudibly. She wasn’t sure Josh had heard her, but when he replied, it turned out he’d understood the underlying question as well.
“Only Shash knows. How many more lives will follow this one is dependent on how the world will develop. What my world will look like.”
“It is my world now, too.” Hannah put her hand on his as he shifted gears. Her world had changed so much in a matter of weeks. Suddenly, she thought of the most important thing she’d discovered – she hadn’t even discussed that with Josh yet!
“Do you have any idea who Ben is?” she said, a note of sheer excitement evident in her voice.
He laughed, nonplussed. “Uhm, yes, he’s your brother. Why?”
“He’s your brother too. Ben is Nantai.”
Josh temporarily forgot to press the gas because of her unexpected revelation. “What’s that?” he called out, his gaze volleying between her and the road.
“It’s true! Really! I recognized that look in his eyes whenever he looks at you, now that I’ve seen your memories. Ben even had dreams about his death on the Betio battlefield when he was a kid. He remembered his leg being blown off by a landmine.”
Josh was shaking his head, his eyes wide. “So did he forget those dreams later on? He never mentioned them to me.”
“After a few months, the nightmares were over. He quickly forgot about them afterwards.”
“How old was Ben when he got those dreams?”
She thought for a second. “Three years old. I think.”
Josh nodded pensively. “Did they start happening around my birthday?”
Now it was Hannah’s turn to give Josh a bug-eyed stare. “Now that you mention it...” She bit her lip. “I’ll be damned. His dreams started the day you were born.”
“He must have felt I’d been born again,” Josh mumbled, a broad smile spreading across his face. “And here I was, feeling so lonely... thinking everyone had left me. Strangely enough, I have always felt so comfortable around Ben, even after I’d had my vision quest and my life radically changed.”
“Well, you got the two most important people from your previous lives back. And now, we can finally help you!”
“That is by no means sure. The fact we are all here doesn’t mean we will win no matter what.”
“Well, I have a good feeling about it. Sani offered to help too, didn’t he? So Ben, you and I can concentrate on those skinwalkers while he guides us through each step of the way. What kind of ceremony do we need to get rid of them, anyway?”
“An Evil Way ceremony.”
“Will it take as long as this one?”
“I’m actually not sure. I’ve never done an Evil Way ceremony in order to beat creatures who aren’t even really here, except in the past.”
“Maybe Ben can help us,” Hannah philosophized. “Who knows, he might have al
l this knowledge from his previous life stored away somewhere, waiting to be unlocked.”
“I don’t know.” Josh sighed, looking anxious. “I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you both. I may be a worrywart, but I can’t shake these ominous thoughts I have.”
“I get you. I feel it too. Constantly.”
When Josh parked the car next to the cabin, Ben was sprawled out on the lawn with a pile of books and a can of beer. He looked up, taking off his sunglasses when Hannah and Josh flopped down next to him.
“Lovey-dovey ones,” he said, winking at them. “How did you sleep?”
“Like ten tons of logs,” Josh replied dryly.
“And how’s your study session going?” Hannah asked, looking down at the books piled up in the grass. She raised an eyebrow when she saw they were all borrowed books from the Page Library, and none of them had anything to do with physiotherapy. They were all history books about early American history.
“Yeah, I thought it would make sense to read up on stuff,” Ben eagerly explained his book selection. “I mean, we have to know what we’re up against, right? What kind of time period those coyotes are from. About their background. I sure know a lot more about the Pueblo Revolt now than I did this morning.”
Hannah smiled. “You really are a darling.”
“Thanks,” Josh added softly.
“I’ll go grab some more drinks,” Ben said, scrambling to his feet. When he returned from the kitchen with three cans of mineral water, Hannah had opened one of the library books and skipped to a chapter about Pearl Harbor.
“Ben,” she started, her voice traveling up into a question. “You don’t remember having those war dreams when you were a toddler anymore, do you?”