by Mark A Labbe
“Well, how am I supposed to stop it?” I said.
“I don’t know, but if you don’t we will all cease to exist in about thirty-seven hours, your time.” What was my time? I had heard that before. Wasn’t time the same for everyone?
“Wonderful.” I thought of the black cube again, and wondered if I built it and went back in time and replayed the is it real game would I be able to stop this from happening if I guessed the Proth Sphere was real?
“B24ME, you have to help me,” I said.
B24ME didn’t answer.
I looked at Ruby and said, “Something terrible is about to happen.”
“What’s that?”
“The universe is going to end,” I said.
“Oh, that’s nice. I take it you are going to save the universe.”
“You don’t seem that upset,” I said.
“I’m not worried, Kev. You’ll figure it out.”
I said my goodbyes to the boys and Ruby, and then pulled out the blue cube and said, “Cube, take me to a workshop that has all of the parts necessary to build the black cube,” praying that it would work.
Sure enough, I appeared in a small workshop, standing in front of a workbench. On the workbench, I saw a small black cube with a circular hole on one side and next to that a cylindrical insert that fit into the hole. I put the pieces together and stopped. The cylindrical insert had a blue button. On the cube above the button was a small display that read, 2020. I assumed that was the present year, at least on Earth, for reasons that totally escaped me. What was I supposed to do next? I looked around and found a piece of paper on the edge of the workbench, instructions of some sort.
Press once and hold to go back
Press twice and hold to go forward
Press three times to go to Peoria
Press four times and you will feel a little dizzy
Do not press the button five times
Press six times if you’ve pressed the button five times
Good luck if you press the button more than six times
Press it seven times. I dare you.
“Cube, take me to the warehouse where I played the ‘Is it real or is it fake’ game,” I said, appearing in a large warehouse. In front of me, I saw a table with an assortment of weapons and a glass filled with greenish fluid. The warehouse was otherwise empty.
I picked up the glass, wondering if a green tea experience might reveal something, but then put it back down, figuring I would get some awful experience.
I looked around the warehouse. When had I last been here? It was before Gamma War. How long had I been on Gamma War relative to this place? It had to be over three years. In fact, I thought it had to be in two thousand, sixteen.
I pressed the button on the black cube once and held it, watching as the number on the display went down. When it reached 2016, I let go. Nothing had changed, and of course it hadn’t. I had to go back down to 2015 and wait to reach the day that I had done the challenge, but I thought that might be months in the future. I pressed the button and held it until the number went down by one. I now stood in an empty warehouse, realizing I would have to wait for an unknown amount of time for B24ME or whomever to come and start the challenge again. Was I really going to stand here in this warehouse for who knew how long with nothing to do?
I figured I’d go home and come back and check the warehouse every day. Of course, I had no idea on what date I had done that challenge, so it was really a guessing game.
“Cube, take me home,” I said, appearing in my family room, figuring I’d wait it out in Vermont.
“Oh, there you are, you moron. Do you know what you’ve done?” said Aputi, coming out from the kitchen to the family room.
“What’s that?” I said, more than a little surprised to see him.
“Thanks to you, the universe is going to end.”
“Yeah, but not for five years,” I said.
“Wrong.”
“What?”
“The universe is going to end in less than thirty-seven hours, your time.”
“But B24ME told me that when I was in 2020, and we are in 2015, so I have five years. Anyway, how do you know anything about it, you murderer?”
“What? You don’t think I watch The Show? I know what you did, you imbecile. You have to fix this immediately or we are all going to die.”
“Well, I am going to fix it. I’m going to go back to the warehouse when the challenge began and guess right this time, so none of this will have ever happened. Then, I’m going to stop you from killing every living human on the planet.”
“Good luck with that, you idiot. Anyway, you can’t change anything by redoing the challenge. That time bubble has long since popped. Further, that happened months from now and, as I just said, the universe is going to end in thirty-seven hours. You’re going to have to find another way.”
“Time bubble?” I said. I’ll explain. I existed only at one point in time at any given time and, therefore, cannot go back and change my past, so whatever transpired between the sphere and me was completely irreversible. More on this later, perhaps, given that this explanation really lacks clarity, although it is a nice enough hint, don’t you think?
“My God, you are the most stupid person I’ve ever met. I swear if I didn’t know any better I’d say you have a class one mind.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you don’t. Now fix this mess immediately.”
“Aputi, I just want you to know, you are never going to get the yellow cube, no matter what happens. I don’t know why you want it, but I know it isn’t for anything good.”
“We’ll see.” Aputi disappeared.
Thirty-six hours later, with no clue how I could save the universe, I screamed, “I wish the Proth Sphere never existed,” and found myself floating in empty space, in an infinite, blue sky.
“Hey, Kev,” said a child’s voice. I looked around, but saw nothing.
“Who is this?”
“It’s me, Bri. Don’t you remember?”
“No. Who are you?”
“Time lag, huh? I’m the co-creator of the universe. Well, sometimes I am. Occasionally, you do it yourself, but you haven’t done that in quite a while.”
“Are you God?” I said.
“I don’t know. Am I?” said Bri.
“Where are we?”
“We’re here, dummy. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“There is nothing here.”
“I know. There is nothing left because of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you wished the Proth Sphere never existed. In doing so, you made it so that the universe, in fact all of the infinite universes, never existed. Fun, right?”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t. The only thing I can tell you is that the Proth Sphere is also a co-creator of the universe. Together, we create most of the infinite universes. However, now the sphere never existed, so now none of the infinite universes ever existed.”
“Well, if they never existed, how is it that you and I are talking about them?”
“Good question, but I don’t know the answer. Anyway, you should know, but your memory is terminally impaired.”
“Great, what do we do now?”
“We could hang out for a few eons. Maybe you’ll figure out how to fix it.”
“So, wait a second, does this mean that the girl never existed? What about Clive? How can I remember them if they never existed?”
“If I knew the answers I would know many things, but I don’t.”
“Well, I want them back.”
“If I had the Proth Sphere, you could have them back, probably, although the new universe might be pretty different. I’ve had more than a few new dreams and nightmares since the last time I created the universe.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Thirty-seven years ago, your time.”
“What is this my time crap ev
eryone keeps talking about?”
“Ask yourself.”
“Dammit, I’m pretty sick of getting non-answers to my questions.”
“Well, don’t ask questions I can’t answer. So, what should we talk about for the next billion or so years?”
“How do I fix this?” I said.
“You know, Kev, for someone with a class nine mind you can be quite dense sometimes. Haven’t I already said enough?”
“You haven’t told me how to fix this, if that’s what you mean,” I growled.
“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to have any cubes on you, would you?”
“Yeah, what of it?”
“Which ones?”
“A black one, a blue one and a red one.”
“Oh, you’re on The Show, huh? Poor bastard.”
“Look, are you going to tell me how to fix this or not?” I said.
“I don’t know. To be completely honest, I kind of like things this way. The sphere is a real pest sometimes. Maybe a multi-billion year break is a good thing.”
“Please tell me, Bri.”
“I don’t know. Maybe you should make a wish.”
I paused, now thinking about the cubes. I knew the black one, at the very least, allowed me to time travel. The blue cube was for The Show. What was the red cube? Had that allowed me to wish the Proth Sphere never existed?
If the red cube gave me that wish, would it give me another wish? Maybe I could wish the universe was back and that it was not going to be sucked into a giant nozzle. Maybe I could wish that I knew what the hell was going on. Maybe I could wish that I had all of my memories back and that the universe was back and that I knew what was going on.
“The red cube gives me wishes, doesn’t it?” I said.
“What would make you think that?” said Bri, hesitating before he said it, sounding more than a little nervous.
“What would happen if I wished you didn’t exist, Bri?”
“Not nice, Kev. Anyway, it wouldn’t work. If, in fact, it is a wishing cube, the only wish you can make right now is for the Proth Sphere to exist again.”
“Why is that?” I said.
“Rules are rules,” Kev. “Ah, whatever. Look, if you wish the sphere exists, then you will be free to make other wishes, but only three more and then the red cube has to recharge. You know, when this is all over don’t get mad at me for saying any of this. If you weren’t so dense, I wouldn’t have to say anything.”
“Gee, thanks. So, all I can do now is wish the sphere exists. Then what?”
“Then the sphere and I recreate the universe and you go on your merry way.”
“And I can make more wishes, right?”
“I do believe I said that.”
“By the way, who made these rules?”
“You did, you moron. Now are you going to make the wish or not?”
“I wish the Proth Sphere exists,” I cried.
“Hey guys,” said a voice. I saw a yellow sphere hovering nearby. “What’s going on?”
“Now what?” I said.
“You ready for a new universe, Kev?” said Bri.
“You know, Bri,” said the sphere. “This time I get to choose how many possible types of jelly donuts there are in the universe. I think there should be thirty-seven types.”
“No. It’s my turn,” said Bri.
“Is not.”
“Look, it is my turn. Anyway, who said you were allowed to determine anything about the universe? I am the one with the dreams and nightmares, not you.”
“Yeah, well, I have dreams and nightmares too, pal. Why can’t I choose?”
“Because you’re an idiot,” shouted Bri.
“Guys,” I said.
“No, you’re an idiot,” said the sphere.
“Guys,” I shouted.
“What?” said Bri.
“Would you stop fighting and recreate the universe, please?”
“Absolutely not,” said the sphere.
Bri and the sphere continued arguing, ignoring my pleas. Eventually, sick of waiting for them to resolve their differences, I said, “I wish you would stop fighting and recreate the damned universe.”
I woke up next to the girl in a room with bamboo walls and a thatched roof, remembering a strange dream, one in which I had been on some horrible game show, one in which I had inadvertently been responsible for negating the infinite universes. I had a vague recollection of a yellow sphere and someone named Bri, a kid perhaps, or maybe God, but I couldn’t put a face to the name. I remembered having children, maybe three boys with someone named Ruby. It had been a long, dark dream, one I wasn’t sure I wanted to remember. I didn’t remember much else, including the purpose of the red cube, or that I had made any wishes with it that came true.
I should note that Bri told a bit of a fib, and for a very good reason. He did not want me to make any wish other than wishing for the sphere to exist again. I could have wished the universe back into existence if I wanted to. I could have wished to understand what was going on and to have all of my memories back. Bri knew this, of course, and he lied to keep me from figuring out what the hell was going on, the clever, little bastard. However, that had not stopped me from making the wish that made Bri and the sphere recreate the universe.
“You’re awake,” said the girl.
“Strange dream,” I said. “Where are we?”
“Home, dummy. Don’t tell me you don’t remember.”
“I remember you, so things can’t be all that bad.” I kissed her and drew her near.
A little girl ran into the room and yelled, “Daddy is awake!”
“Um, who is that?” I said.
“That’s Soph, your daughter.”
“Do I have three sons too?” I said, remembering three young boys tackling me in a strange woman’s bedroom.
“Yes, Kev. They live on Nidia,” laughed the girl.
“Am I on a game show?” I said, fearing the worst.
“Not anymore, but I’m sure you’ll be on it again.”
I searched my memories, trying to figure out what I should ask next and recalled a name. “Who is Aputi?” I said.
“Uncle Aputi is in the kitchen,” said Soph, smiling.
“Oh. Right. Okay. What else am I missing?”
“Don’t worry, dear. You’ll figure it out.”
“Wait, where is Clive?”
“He lives just down the beach.”
“But he’s dead,” I said, suddenly remembering the pnukes, but not remembering that Aputi had been responsible for the pnukes.
“You saved him, Kev. He’s fine.”
“Are all the people on Earth dead?” I said, horrified by what I had just remembered.
“No, you saved them too.”
“Saved them from what?” I said.
“The Canadians,” laughed Soph. “Daddy, you are such a doody head.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will, Kev. Let’s have breakfast. Aputi is making your favorite.”
“What’s my favorite?”
“French toast, bacon, and berries. And you can have a big glass of green tea to help you remember.”
“Oh, okay.”
After my green tea experience, not recalling the more interesting properties of green tea, I said, “Does it do that every time?”
“Kev, I swear you have the worst memory of anyone I have ever met,” said Aputi. I eyed the old man suspiciously. Who was he? What was he doing in my house? Actually, where was I? Why didn’t I remember this house?
“Hey, where are we?” I said.
“Uthio Minor, dear,” said the girl.
“Where is that?”
“About thirty-seven billion light-years from Earth.”
I passed out and later came to on a couch, the girl looking down at me.
“You are going to have to explain a few things,” I said weakly.
At the time, I had no memories of ever having traveled off of Earth. I had no memories other than those
of Clive, the girl (partial memories) and my aunt and uncle, and those memories were like fast moving clouds in a moonless night sky.
The girl spoke at length, but I could tell she had omitted many things. She told me I had been traveling in time quite a bit and that I had lost most of my memories because of something she called time lag, a thing she would not explain on account of the rules. She told me I had been on The Show many times and had always found a way off before B24ME, a name I didn’t remember, managed to kill me. Many times, when I asked questions, she would only say, “You’ll figure it out,” or would refuse to answer on the grounds that the “rules” were quite strict. I asked about these rules and she said, “I shouldn’t break the rules, Kev. You’ll figure it out.”
“Lovely, just lovely.”
“Reach into your pockets,” said the girl.
I reached into my pockets and pulled out two cubes, black and red.
“The black one you use to travel in time. You’ve never explained how to use it though. Do you remember it?”
“Vaguely. What’s the red one?”
“You won that on The Show some time ago. I don’t know what it does, but I know you’ve had it before. You’ve had the blue one before, but you always manage to get rid of it. If you see that cube again or if someone tries to give it to you, don’t touch it. It will land you back on The Show.” Note that when Bri and the sphere recreated the universe, they took the blue cube away from me, thus taking me off The Show.
“I’ll probably forget.” I looked around, and not seeing any sign of Aputi, I said, “I don’t trust Aputi. Why is he here?”
“You don’t trust him? Why?”
“I don’t know. I think he’s up to no good.”
“Well, you’re the one who brought him here to live with us.”
“I did? Why?”
“You do many things I don’t understand, Kev. But, if it’s any comfort, I don’t think you have to worry about Aputi. He’s harmless. A little annoying at times, but perfectly harmless.”
Weeks passed, time spent with the girl, Soph, Clive, Aputi, Ruby, whom I did now remember, and the three Kev’s. I adjusted to living on this distant planet and found myself quite happy. Of course, there were many things I didn’t remember, and I spent quite a lot of time trying to remember those things, but only recalled a few things here and there.