Liam didn’t know what to say. It’s okay? It’s not your fault? It wasn’t her fault. No matter what he said, it wouldn’t change anything. He didn’t want her feeling sorry for him.
They sat in silence for a moment, the picture between them. He was grateful when Kate finally frowned and shook her head. “Unfortunately this one won’t work, either. You look great, but once we scan it, crop it and blow it up, it will be way too grainy. The quality would be horrendous. It would look very unprofessional.”
“I’m not concerned about making myself look too good. The objective is for women not to vote on me. Remember? Just use this one.”
He slapped the hospital head shot onto the cushion between them. “There, it’s settled.”
“Do you really want to look like you have a stick up your butt? Is that the image you want to project? Well, then it’s your choice.... Liam, I don’t mean to be mean. I’m just being honest.” She pointed to the photo. “The guy in this photo and the guy sitting next to me are...night and day. You’re a great-looking guy, Liam. Really.”
Something in her manner soothed him.
He took the 5x7 photo from her and studied it again. His expression was a little stern. And his hair was a little longer than was stylish these days. Plus, even if it was a hospital media photo, the white lab coat made him look stiff and boring. She was right. The photo really was unflattering. Especially compared to some of the pictures his colleagues had already posted to the auction’s website.
“Well, I guess I could have one taken,” he said. “But I’ll have to wait until Wednesday because I have a busy week. Do we really need to put my picture and bio up on the website at all? Especially since I’m already spoken for.”
She did that arching thing with her eyebrow once more, and it triggered that strange magnetic pull...again.
“Technically we should include you. The website won’t be complete if we don’t. But I guess if we can’t find a good shot of you, we don’t have to. Or maybe we could delay posting it. But first let me try something.” She grabbed her phone. “Believe it or not the camera on my smartphone is as good as some 35mm SLR cameras. Let me snap some shots of you. Then you won’t have to go to the trouble of having one taken.”
He waved away her suggestion. “No, you don’t have to bother with that. I really should let you get back to work.”
But she’d already grabbed her phone.
She smiled at him, and he saw that dimple once more. It caused a strange tightness in his chest, and his mouth went dry again.
Chapter Six
As Kate began snapping pictures of Liam, she watched him regress into the rigid, reserved, buttoned-up doctor she’d first met in the staff meeting earlier that week.
It was sort of a relief. Or at least it helped put everything into better perspective.
Edgy Liam was more difficult to feel for than the more human side of him that she’d glimpsed and was beginning to care for.
“Just relax, Liam,” she said. “Quit fidgeting. And fix your hair. Oh, here, I’ll do it.”
She stepped forward to smooth down a piece that was sticking up, and her fingers brushed his temple. The minute they connected, a white-hot current zinged from his skin to hers. She pulled her hand away, reclaiming her personal space. Had he felt that, too?
Rather than wander down a road she really shouldn’t travel, she thought about how it was surprising that, even though he’d reverted back to stiff, proper Dr. Liam Thayer, he’d let her groom him. He always seemed so in control. By allowing her to take his picture, he was letting her take charge. It was strange and exhilarating. And there she was heading down that dangerous road again.
She took another step back, giving herself some room to breathe, and fumbled with her cell, engaging the camera.
She held it up, centering him in the viewfinder. This time he smiled, and it seemed to reach all the way through the camera to her heart. He really was a good-looking guy.
“Okay, that’s great,” she said. “On the count of three. One...two...”
His lips flattened into a frown. She looked up from the camera. “Why did you stop smiling? Your expression before was perfect.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, obviously forcing up the corners of his mouth. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” she answered. “Before I started counting, you were smiling. When I started you stopped. Just do what you were doing before.”
She looked through the lens again. Now he’d narrowed his brows, and his forehead was creased.
Really?
She lowered the camera. “Liam? Is something wrong?”
“No, does it look like it is?”
“Actually, yes. You look like you’re mad or possibly in pain. You were doing great earlier. Just...smile. It’s not that hard. And uncross your arms. Loosen up a little bit.”
“Loosen up?”
“Yes.”
He dropped his arms and shrugged.
She snapped a few shots in rapid succession, as fast as the camera would shoot.
“Like this?” Another forced smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
Not exactly, but it was better.
At least he wasn’t frowning.
“Maybe you should stand up? That might help you loosen up.”
He stood and crossed his arms again.
“Give me something that won’t embarrass your daughters. You don’t want to embarrass them, do you?”
“That’s not fair,” he said. “Besides, why is a good picture so important? Why are we putting so much emphasis on looks? The last thing I want to do is reinforce that the outer image is all that matters.”
“I’m sure they’re smart enough to know that.”
“Of course they’re smart.”
“Well, then, don’t argue with me and give me something I can work with here.”
“You want something you can work with? Okay.”
He turned his back to the camera.
Wait. What? Was he trying to be funny?
“Oh, wise guy, huh?”
He glanced over his shoulder and shot her an incredulous look.
“What kind of a date would that expression promise? You look a little formidable.” She was snapping pictures as fast as she could. That was the great thing about a digital camera. You could snap away until you ran out of space, then erase the bad ones and start all over again.
“Gee, thanks,” he said. He pulled a sinister-looking frown. “We could call this one The Fright Night package.”
Click-click. Click-click. Click-click.
“That sounds fitting,” she said. “What else ya got? Maybe give me something that would embarrass your girls.”
He stood stock-still, and for a moment she worried that she might have crossed the line. But then to her surprise, Liam started mugging for the camera. She clicked the camera again before he could change his mind.
“How about a date with a super hero?” He pulled at his shirt.
Good lord, he was handsome. Even better when he wasn’t taking himself so seriously.
“I’d bid on that,” she said, hoping to encourage him. “What are my other choices?”
“How about The Thinker?” He curled his fist and braced his chin on it, like Rodin’s famous statue.
“Too intellectual,” she teased. “Liam, girls just want to have fun.”
“Is that so?”
“Sad but true, I know. Nowadays it seems like women only want men for their bodies.”
“I feel so objectified,” he said, as he flexed both biceps and then pulled some cheesy bodybuilderesque poses.
Kate snapped away, amazed not only by the fact that he could be pretty funny when he let loose but that she’d never noticed how nice his arms were. How had she missed those guns until now?
The sparks of attraction ignited in her, but she squelched it. He was a good-looking man in great physical condition. What woman in her right mind wouldn’t be attracted to Liam Thayer?
In between the playful shots, she’d managed to capture him laughing and smiling. She stopped shooting to review the shots she’d already taken.
Yes, she definitely had at least one that would work for the purpose that she needed. She also had a lot of funny shots.
She laughed. “All I can say is, you’d better be nice to me because, boy, have I got blackmail material right here in my hot little hands.”
She held up the camera and shook it at him.
“What? Let me see.”
He walked over and stood next to her. She began paging through the shots.
“Oh, my God, that’s terrible,” he said. “I didn’t think you were really shooting the goofball shots. You have to erase those.”
“I’m not going to erase them,” she joked. “These could be very valuable.”
“Oh, no you don’t.” He tried to take her phone, and a playful tug-of-war ensued. One minute they were laughing and tussling, and then the next thing she knew, his lips were skimming her cheek. Kate tilted back her head, looking up at him. His eyes were hungry and hooded. Kate wasn’t sure who closed the final distance; really, it didn’t matter. The next thing she knew his lips were on hers, and her hands were in his hair, pulling him to her.
The kiss lasted a lifetime, despite the fact that it was over before it had a chance to begin.
It was only a brief lock of lips that endured for a moment—the span of maybe five heartbeats—but in that time, the possibility of the rest of Liam’s life flashed before his eyes.
Kate’s lush, tempting mouth drew him in. And the way her lips parted as he lowered his head for a taste awakened a voracious hunger inside him. During that kiss, Liam wanted to consume her; he wanted to pull her to him so that their bodies melded into one under the intense heat of his desire. But all too soon he sensed her hesitation and pulled back.
Her gaze riveted to his, she bit her bottom lip, gaping at him with large blue eyes that seemed to be amazed and darkened with wanting. Or maybe he only imagined the desire because he so desperately wanted to lose himself in her.
Kate affected him in the same way that water eroded stone, seeping over and under and around until it wore away resistance so it could flow straight through the heart. Since Joy’s death and the Kimela debacle, no one had broken through the well-constructed wall that he’d erected around his heart.
Until now.
“I should probably apologize for that,” he murmured, “but I’m not really sorry.”
“Then don’t apologize.”
He shrugged, and she smiled.
Backlit by the afternoon sun streaming in through her office window, her blond hair illuminated like a halo; she looked like an angel.
But he knew angels didn’t have lips that tasted like wine or curves that tempted the mind to travel to places he really shouldn’t be traversing.
No, Kate Macintyre was no guardian angel, but that didn’t keep him from thinking that she still might be the one who could save him from himself. She might be the one who could help him make peace with the past and start looking toward the future.
* * *
It was just a kiss, Kate reminded herself when Liam left ten minutes later, and she was alone with her thoughts and the taste of him still fresh in her mouth. They’d lost themselves for a moment, but it was something they’d have to pretend had never happened.
He’d made it perfectly clear that he was not ready to get involved with anyone for the next five years, until after he’d sent his daughters off to college.
He hadn’t said that in the moments following the kiss. No, they’d made polite small talk about the photo, the bio, the pretend date. They’d talked about everything other than what had just happened between them.
He was a good father. Who could blame him for wanting to focus on his kids? There was no arguing with that.
Maybe Kate’s own pregnancy had awakened maternal feelings. She’d miscarried, but the maternal feelings and the understanding that kids came first, that family came first, had never gone away.
That’s why she called off her wedding. She just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t marry Gibson Baker because she couldn’t put him first. He was a good guy, but after the miscarriage, Kate had finally let herself accept the fact that something was missing.
Some might have called her a runaway bride, but she had done Gibson a favor by letting him go. He deserved someone who loved him. Kate didn’t, not the way he deserved.
When she’d gotten pregnant, they’d both wanted to give their baby a traditional home. For a while Kate had made herself believe that the love she felt for their child was big enough that it would spill over and nourish their marriage.
After she’d lost the baby, she realized she didn’t have anything left to give. It was as if everything she was ever capable of giving had died with her child.
She couldn’t bring herself to marry a man she didn’t love.
She’d grown up watching her parents’ dysfunctional marriage. Her father had worshiped the ground her mother walked on, but her mother’s heart had always belonged to someone else. Kate hadn’t known the facts until long after her mother had died, but Kate had always sensed a sort of reserve in her mother, a holding back that had hurt her father and had driven him to the bottle.
After learning her mother’s secret and judging by Kate’s own relationships, she’d realized love was rarely an equitable exchange. One person always loved more. Kate knew from experience that it wasn’t any better being the one on the receiving end, left wanting, feeling as if she wasn’t capable of loving to the same depth as her partner.
She’d never felt that depth of love until the baby. When she’d lost it, all of that love died, too.
There were exceptions to the rule of nonequitable love. Her brother Rob had a terrible first marriage but seemed to have found true love and happiness with his wife, Pepper. The same went for Pepper’s friends A.J., Sydney and Caroline. They were all newly married and deeply in love. The skeptic in Kate wanted to qualify that with a quip about how everyone was still enjoying the newlywed stage of the game.
Let’s check back in with them in ten years or so and see how everything shakes down once the dust has settled. Not that she would delight in being right. But obviously she was more of a realist than a romantic.
Still what about Joy and Liam Thayer? Everyone knew that he was desperately in love with Joy. From all accounts it seemed that she had felt the same way. Maybe they were the exception to the rule. Even so, if he had been the one to love more, what did the next woman who came into his life have to look forward to? Living in the shadow of his never-ending love for Joy?
So there, once again, was the burning question: Was it better to love fiercely and know that you were the one who loved more, or was it best to be the object of someone’s fierce love and not be able to return the feelings at the same level of intensity?
She pressed her fingers to her bottom lip, still feeling the ghost of Liam’s mouth on hers. It had been a great kiss. Electric. And she knew on some subconscious level that she’d been angling for it from the minute he’d called and said he was coming by her office.
She was the one who had urged Liam to loosen up. They both would’ve been much better off if she’d just used one of the pictures he’d brought with him, and she’d sent him on his way. But there was no going back and changing things now. They could only move forward. And that’s exactly what she intended to do. The bachelor auction was exactly a week away, and she couldn’t afford to have anything go wrong.
Chapter Seven
Feeling foolish for letting her heart control her head, Kate avoided Liam for most of the week. She didn’t return his calls.
And he hadn’t left a message other than to say, “Please tell her Liam Thayer called.”
If it had been important—for instance, if he were calling to back out of the auction—he would’ve left a message. She certainly would have called him back if it had been something importan
t. Returning an important call would’ve been the professional thing to do.
If nothing else she prided herself on her professionalism—despite any unfortunate misconceptions brought on by that kiss. They’d both gotten caught up in the moment. However, if someone were to blame, she supposed it could be her. That way there were no expectations. No hurt feelings. No further misunderstandings.
She fully intended to go through with the business arrangement that they’d made: she would bid on him with the money that he’d donated; he would fulfill his obligation to his boss, and she would get the donations needed for the pediatric surgical wing. Everyone got what they wanted. And she and Liam were both adult enough to not let the kiss ruin it.
Right now she still had a million things to do over the next twenty-four hours. At the moment she was checking off one of the tasks. She and her sister-in-law, Pepper, were at the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport picking up Maya LeBlanc, who had just flown in from Mont Saint-Michel to promote the expansion of her new international line of chocolates and to serve as the emcee of the bachelor auction.
“It’s so wonderful to meet you, Maya,” Kate said as she and Pepper helped Maya put her bags in Pepper’s black Infiniti SUV. “The chocolate samples you sent are to die for. I don’t know if they’ll make me fall in love with a man, but I’m definitely in love with Maya’s Chocolates.”
Maya and Pepper had been good friends for several years. In fact, Pepper swore that Maya had foretold her marriage to Kate’s brother, Rob. That’s why Pepper had such a special connection to the French woman. Kate had heard so many wonderful things about Maya, she felt as if she already knew her, too.
“Thanks so much for donating the chocolate party favors for the auction and for agreeing to emcee the show,” Kate said.
“How cool is it that we have a genuine matchmaker emceeing to boot?” Pepper’s voice gushed with pride. After all, it had been Pepper’s idea to invite Maya to be the front person for the auction.
A serene smile turned up the corners of Maya’s red-painted lips. “You girls are going to make my head swell,” she answered in heavily accented English. The contrast of the crimson lipstick against her ivory skin and cascading red curls was striking. What made it even better was that the woman seemed just as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside.
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