Distorted Hope

by Marissa Honeycutt

  It wasn’t as if he was abusive. He looked at me with adoration. He made me feel amazing things in bed. I shivered, remembering what an amazing lover he was.

  I finished my shower, washing myself thoroughly and resolving to apologize to Nathan as soon as I saw him.

  I dried myself off and had just begun drying my hair when Nathan returned. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching me with impassive eyes.

  I wrapped my towel around my body and limped over to him and got down on my knees. “I’m sorry for what I did, Nathan. It was very wrong of me.”

  I stared at his brown sandals as I felt his gaze on the back of my head. He didn’t say anything, just stood there. I didn’t move, either. I wanted him to know I was sincere and would await his reaction, no matter how long it took.

  My hair dripped slowly down my back and front. I tried not to shiver as the droplets tickled my shoulders.

  After what felt like an eternity, I felt his hand on my head. He crouched down in front of me and lifted my head with a gentle hand under my chin. He pressed his lips together as his eyes searched mine.

  “I understand why you did what you did, Kyra,” he said in a soft voice. “But please… Don’t do it again.”

  I nodded and swallowed. His kindness made the guilt inside my heart burn and I started crying. He picked me up and carried me to a chair near the window. My head rested against his chest, and listening to his steady heartbeat calmed my emotions.

  When I was completely calm, he kissed my head and made me sit up. “How is your foot?”

  I looked down at my right foot and wiggled my toes. “It hurts a little, but not bad.” I gave him a soft smile. “Thank you for cleaning it.”

  He smiled back. “I wouldn’t want it to get infected.” He stood and carried me back into the bathroom. “Finish getting dressed. I’ll wait in the bedroom.”

  I found my hairbrush and other hair products on the vanity. I dressed quickly in the green cotton sundress Nathan had brought me to wear and then finished drying my hair. Back home, I’d always worn my hair up in a ponytail or braid. I hated the feel of my hair in my face. But Nathan insisted I wear my hair down, and it had taken me a while to get used to it. Now I felt very feminine any time my long hair fell forward over my shoulders. Jason liked playing with my hair, too.

  I limped out into the bedroom but didn’t see Nathan.

  “I’m up here, Kitten,” he said from above me. I turned to see him coming down the stairs from the loft. “Luís will be here in a few minutes.” He stopped in front of me and cradled my cheek. “I want you to stay in here from now on.”

  I frowned in confusion. He was imprisoning me in his bedroom? His room was kind of dark; I liked mine better. “I promise I’ll stay away from Jason, Nathan. Please don’t make me stay inside all day.”

  Now Nathan looked confused. He tilted his head and then laughed. “Kitten, I meant sleep in here, not stay here all the time. No, you need fresh air and exercise.”

  “Oh.” I gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

  “Nothing to apologize for, Kitten. You can wander as you want around the property as before.” His eyes turned hard. “I will know if you try anything with Jason again, and I won’t be as understanding if there is a next time.”

  “Yes, Nathan. I understand.” I bowed my head. I didn’t want to make him angry. As much as I loved and missed Jason, I think I feared Nathan more.

  Dr. Perez arrived a little while later and looked me over while I lay on Nathan’s bed. When he was done, he looked at Nathan. “If you want an ultrasound, we’ll have to go into the city.”

  Nathan frowned. “Do you need one?”

  The doctor shook his head. “Not right now. But I would like one in a few months.”

  Nathan sighed. “Alright.”

  Dr. Perez looked at me and Nathan. “I need to tell you there is a chance of miscarriage when removing an IUD.”

  “What?!” Nathan exclaimed. “Then don’t take it out.”

  Dr. Perez shook his head. “There’s a greater chance if I leave it in.” Nathan growled and Dr. Perez sighed. “If I’d known you’d had sex with her, I would have given her a pregnancy test first. But even then, it would have been too soon for a positive result to show. She might not even have been pregnant when I put it in.”

  Nathan went to the window and looked out. “So you’re saying that there’s a chance we’ll lose the baby when you pull it, but even more of a chance of losing it if the IUD stays in place.”

  “Yes.”

  “Fucking IUDs. I knew there was a reason I didn’t like them.”

  “It was the fastest way to get her protected. And I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t have a reaction to the hormones before I gave her the shot.”

  Nathan stood with his hands on his hips, looking out at the window like a huge, bronze statue. I glanced at Dr. Perez, whose kind smile had always comforted me and made me feel cared for and important.

  After a few minutes, Nathan turned around and sighed. “Alright. Do it.”

  Dr. Perez nodded and Nathan sat by me, holding my hand and watching Dr. Perez like a hawk.

  Removing the IUD was much better than getting it put in. It was done within seconds, and he had me lie there for a few minutes. Nathan watched me closely.

  “Are you feeling okay?” he asked me a dozen times. Each time I nodded and gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

  “Rest for a few hours, Kyra, and then see how you are feeling before you get up and move around. If you feel the slightest twinge of discomfort or pain, let me know immediately.” I nodded and Nathan walked Dr. Perez outside.

  I curled up and pulled the covers up over my shoulders and waited to see if anything would happen, but I didn’t feel anything. Nathan returned a few minutes later and lay down next to me, but over the covers. I turned over onto my back.

  “Doing okay?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  Nathan ran his hand over my stomach, his eyes soft and full of affection. He leaned over and kissed me, probing my mouth with his tongue and making me moan. His hand cupped the side of my face and his kiss became deeper. When I moaned again, he pulled back slowly.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea to make love right now, Kitten.” He nuzzled my cheek. “Hopefully tonight, if you’re feeling up to it.”

  I spent the rest of the day in Nathan’s bed. Well, I guess I could call it my bed now. I wouldn’t be sleeping in my old bed anymore. I was sleepy all day and didn’t want to get up. Nathan checked on me several times. I was feeling fine, just tired. He really did dote on me.

  I stayed in bed for dinner and Nathan came up not too long after I heard the evening social hour begin.

  “I’m okay, Nathan,” I said when he came in. “You can stay downstairs if you want to.”

  He shook his head. “How are you feeling?”

  I smiled, knowing what he was really asking. “I’m good. No hints of cramping or anything.”

  “Good.” He grinned and began unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his gorgeous upper body. I licked my lips as his chest came into view and he chuckled. “I love how you look at me, Kitten,” he said in a husky voice.

  “I’ve never seen a man in real life that looks like you.”

  His pants came off next and my breath caught in my throat at the appearance of his huge cock. “My body has been aching for you for weeks,” he said as he crawled into bed and knelt over me. “None of the other girls make me feel the way you do.”

  He leaned down and captured my lips with his in a passionate kiss before I could comprehend his words. His tongue delved deep into my mouth as his hands explored my body. I slid my hands up his chest and over his shoulders, getting caught up in his passion.

  When he cupped my breast, though, I winced.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice hoarse with passion.

  “My breasts are a little tender.”

  He leaned down and kissed them gently over my dress. “I
’m sorry, Kitten. I’ll be gentler.” He pulled my dress off over my head and kissed each nipple. Leaning back, he studied them for a moment and then grinned. “They’re bigger.”

  I looked down. “Really?”

  He slowly licked my nipple several times, making it ache more than it already did, and I groaned.

  “Did that hurt?”

  “No,” I moaned, arching my back up to him. He chuckled and gently sucked one nipple into his mouth. I moaned loudly and gasped as delicious sensations rippled through my body from his kisses. Desire coursed through my veins and I squeezed my thighs together. I couldn’t believe how badly I wanted him.

  He lavished gentle attention on the other breast and I clutched the sheets at the side of my body. When he began to trail kisses down my belly, I whimpered in anticipation of his mouth on my pussy. I really enjoyed oral sex. Really, really enjoyed it.

  When he settled in between my legs and his tongue licked upwards, I hissed and wiggled my hips. He kissed my pussy like he kissed my mouth—his tongue probing, licking, and sucking—all movements bringing delicious chills through my entire body. It was hard to keep still.

  Nathan chuckled. “I’m glad to see your enthusiasm about sex has increased since we were last together.” He probed his tongue deep inside and I cried out and clutched at the sheets. “But you are still as delicious.”

  I froze, afraid he would say the same thing he had last time. He lifted his head and looked up at me. “What’s wrong?”

  For some stupid reason, tears filled my eyes. “When you told me that before, you said you had clients who would enjoy me.” I bit my lip. “Do you still mean that?”

  “Kitten, I told you, I’m not sharing you with anyone. You are all mine. Yes, if some of my clients knew how sweet…” He licked me slowly from bottom to top and I moaned. “…you are, they would beg me for a taste. But I will be the only one with the pleasure of tasting you from now on.”

  My eyes closed as his attention returned to my swollen pussy. His tongue made me feel amazing things and I thrashed my head back and forth at the unbelievable pleasure coursing through my body.

  I felt the beginnings of an orgasm and moaned loudly as he took my clit into his mouth and began sucking. “Oh!” I cried loudly and then my back arched and I screamed as I came, hard. Harder than I had in a while—since the last time I was with him. I couldn’t think of anything but the molten pleasure of my clit in his mouth and the waves of extreme pleasure emanating from that tiny organ.

  His sucking slowed and I floated down to earth like a feather. When I was able to open my eyes, I did so with so much effort that Nathan chuckled.

  “That good, huh?” he asked with a teasing grin as he pulled himself up beside me.

  I traced his damp lips with my fingers. “You have an amazing mouth,” I said in a breathless voice.

  He grinned and leaned to kiss me. “You have an amazing pussy that my cock is aching for.” He moved over me again and nudged my legs apart. “You okay?”

  I nodded, giving him a lazy grin, and he chuckled before pressing himself against my swollen opening.

  My eyes fully opened as Nathan began to enter me. I’d forgotten how big he was, how much he filled me. “Oh!” I exclaimed as he continued to press inside me. His eyes were closed, his lips parted slightly. His arm, chest, and shoulder muscles all rippled as he held himself above me. He was so amazingly beautiful.

  He went in easier than the first time. I think because I was so swollen and wet. And I’d had sex plenty of times now, too. But I was so ready for him.

  His eyes opened when he filled me to the hilt, and I stared up at him with wide eyes, unable to think of anything but him inside my body.

  He lowered himself onto me but supported the majority of his weight with his elbows. His lips caressed mine and he kissed me tenderly without moving his lower body.

  “Ah, Kyra,” he murmured, “I never want to be with any other woman but you.” He began moving inside me and I swear I saw stars of pleasure explode behind my eyelids. What was it about this man that did so many bewildering things to my body?

  His movements quickened and his thrusts became more insistent. I met him, thrust for thrust, feeling my body move toward another orgasm. His chest rumbled and he thrust hard and I cried out again—this time in pain—as he hit something inside me. He froze and stared down at me. “What happened, Kitten?”

  I shook my head and took deep breaths. The pain was beginning to subside.

  “Kyra? Kyra, please talk to me.”

  “Hurts,” I whispered. “But getting better.” He didn’t move until I relaxed and opened my eyes. I gave him a shy smile. “I’m okay. You’re just… big.”

  “Kyra, I am so sorry I hurt you,” he whispered, kissing my cheek. “Do you want me to stop?”

  I shook my head. “Just… be gentle.”

  He nodded and watched me carefully as he began to move again. My eyes fluttered closed as I felt the orgasm beginning anew. He wrapped his arms around me and I clung to his shoulders as I arched my back into another climax.

  I gasped for breath as my body recovered from my second intense orgasm of the evening. Nathan rolled to his side and held me close to him. He was panting hard, too.

  When I looked up at him, he was looking at me with a soft look on his face. “I know how you were brought here wasn’t necessarily nice, Kyra. But I’m so glad you’re here.” He kissed me gently and then pulled the blankets up to my shoulders.

  I was reading in Nathan’s office a few weeks later when Mark came in. “Did you get the request?” Mark asked.

  Nathan had been staring out the window for a few minutes, and I’d been wondering what he was thinking about. I spent most afternoons in his office. He liked it when I was there, and it wasn’t as lonely as taking a nap in our room.

  I looked over at him with affection. I knew I was beginning to fall in love with him. Despite the fact he dealt in criminal activity, he was a good man. And he was so good to me. If I wanted anything, he did everything he could to make sure I got it. If someone had to go into Panama City to get it, they went to Panama City to get it.

  Jason and I had come to terms with our separation and it didn’t hurt as bad to see him. He and Julia spent a lot of time together in the evenings, and I was somewhat relieved he had someone to comfort him now, with Nathan’s approval. Julia had come here by choice and she could leave by choice. She was the only one. Nathan might let Madison go if she asked, but she seemed content here.

  Nathan and I, on the other hand, had grown close. He told me he loved me a week after we found out I was pregnant and had shown it to be true every day since. He didn’t expect me to love him, but he hoped I would in the future. I think I did now—and was eager to tell him—but the troubled look on his face made me think I needed to wait. At least until tonight when we were alone.

  “I did,” Nathan said after a long minute. He looked at me with concern, making me wonder what was wrong.

  “Did you respond?” Mark asked.

  “No. Not yet.”

  Mark glanced at me and then looked back at Nathan. “You’re worried?”

  Nathan nodded. “If I had somewhere safe to send her, I would.”

  “They’re going to find out eventually,” Mark said, sitting down in the chair across the desk from Nathan. “Better to stop it from the beginning than to try and hide her. If it would make you feel better, we can make sure she’s not alone at any point. I’ll stay with her.” Nathan frowned and Mark chuckled. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

  I was thoroughly confused. Were they talking about me? I ran my hands over my expanding belly and watched Nathan. If I needed to know, he would tell me.

  Nathan caught my eye. He sighed and stood and walked over to me. “Kitten, we’re going to have guests next week.”

  “Guests?”

  Nathan grimaced. “Clients.”

  “Oh!” My eyes widened. “Why are you concerned?”

  “Because you
are a woman and they will likely not understand why I’m withholding you from them.”

  “Oh.” I played with the edge of my Kindle. “You’re concerned they’ll hurt me?”

  Nathan nodded. “And I won’t let that happen. I’d send you away if I could, but I don’t have anywhere to send you. Well, not anywhere safer than here.”

  “Do you want me to stay in our room while they’re here?”

  He sighed. “Maybe. I’ll have to think about it. There’s a chance they’ll understand. If they don’t, I’m afraid I’ll have to keep you hidden away.”

  I squeezed Nathan’s hand. “Whatever you need to do to keep me safe, I will do. I don’t want you to worry about me.” I knew his biggest fear was something happening to me.

  He kissed my head. “Thank you for understanding, Kitten.”

  A week later, the helicopter landed as I watched from the courtyard of the hacienda. The evening sun reflected off the side, making me squint a little bit. Nathan had gone down to the helipad to greet the guests from Russia.

  I would be introduced to the men as Nathan’s fiancée, which I was. He’d asked me to marry him three days ago and I now wore a beautiful diamond ring on my left ring finger. It was a puzzle ring, actually, with a one karat marquis diamond in the center. I loved it. He teased that because Sultans used to give them to their wives, it would be appropriate for him to give me. And he knew I liked puzzles, though I was having a hard time figuring out how this ring went together. I kept it on most of the time.

  I also was to wear more modest dresses while they were here. Not that my other dresses were immodest, but with my expanding belly and breasts, they were beginning to be. My dresses went to just below my knees now and were not as low cut. I also wore sandals. It was weird—getting used to shoes again—but Nathan insisted. I couldn’t wait until the guests left and I could go barefoot again.

  I stood on one side of the patio with the men, including Colin and Jason, while the other girls stood on the other side—another sign to the guests that I was not one of the available girls.