“That’s not what you were asking.”
Amusement lit his eyes again. “You’re a smart girl.”
I shrugged. “If you and Mark continue to get along, I’m sure you and I will have an opportunity to get better acquainted.” It was the best answer I could come up with. There was a chance it was true. At least a one-in-eight chance. I wondered how many men he traveled with. Would he hurt me?
“Does Mark treat you well?”
I glanced over at Mark, who sat at the table watching us. “Yes. He’s always been fair with me.” I looked up at Sebastian.
“He cares a great deal about you.”
“I think he feels responsible for me.”
“Why?”
I bit my lip, realizing I shouldn’t have said that. Was Sebastian digging for information he knew he wouldn’t get out of Mark? Mark said he had to be careful to not give away too much when first meeting a client. “No reason,” I said quickly and then pulled away slightly. “I should probably go sit down. I’m not usually part of these meetings.”
“Why not? You would bring beauty to otherwise nasty subjects.”
My cheeks warmed. “Please take me back to the table.”
Mark looked concerned when Sebastian brought me back halfway through the song. “Are you okay, Kyra?” he asked.
I nodded and stared at my lap.
“I believe I was probing too much,” Sebastian interjected. “It was my fault. I apologize.”
“Probing about what?” Mark asked, sounding defensive.
“Relationships.”
“Ah.” Mark fiddled with his dessert fork. “What were you trying to figure out?”
I was amazed at Mark’s bluntness.
“The relationship between the two of you.”
“It’s… complicated.”
Sebastian chuckled. “Is that what your Facebook status reads?”
Mark laughed. “Ah, the simple joys of things such as Facebook. Too bad those sorts of sites are monitored by the government. My career choice might be questioned.”
“As would mine.” Sebastian laughed, as well.
My stomach churned as I lay in bed a few nights later. I didn’t want to wake Mark; he had been up late, drinking with Sebastian and having a good time. As I understood it, Sebastian was a sort of broker for other people who needed weapons. Mark said he would be an important new client for Patrón and Mark was working to build a relationship with him. I’d seen quite a bit of Sebastian over the last two days. I liked him. He was nice.
I untangled myself from Mark’s arms and hurried into the bathroom, hoping I’d find something to quell the nausea. Before I found anything, though, my stomach heaved and I ran to the toilet.
As I was recovering, I heard Mark call my name. “In here,” I said weakly to the floor.
“Kyra!” he exclaimed and crouched down beside me. “What’s wrong?”“
“I don’t know. I think I ate something bad last night.”
He helped me to my feet. “Well, c’mon. Let’s get you back in bed.”
I curled back up in bed and Mark got me some water. I sipped it as he ran a cool rag over my forehead and cheeks. “I don’t think you have a fever,” he said.
“That’s good.” I gave him a tired smile. “At least I got sick on our last day instead of our first day.”
Mark chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t think I could have pulled off wearing the ring. At least, not without getting my ass pounded.” When I gave him a confused look, he shrugged. “They would have thought I was gay and likely kick my ass for it.”
“That doesn’t sound like fun.”
“I agree.” He smoothed my hair back from my face. “Do you want to stay here while I meet Sebastian for lunch? I can have Bryce stay with you.”
I mentally evaluated my body. I still wasn’t feeling very well. “Would that be okay? I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. I’m sure keeping your germs to yourself would be appreciated.”
“I hope you don’t get sick.”
“I rarely get sick. Good immune system.”
“Me, too.” I shrugged. “I guess everyone has their moments.”
“And you’ve been cooped up in the hacienda for most of the year. New germs. New bugs.”
“Yeah.” I just hoped this bug would go away quickly. I hated feeling this way.
I still wasn’t feeling very well when we got on the plane to fly home the next day. After we were in the air, Mark set up the bed in the back so I could sleep. Sleeping felt good. I wasn’t feeling any worse, but I wasn’t feeling any better, and I threw up twice on the plane.
Faster than I expected, we were landing at the airport in Yaviza—the small village where Nathan keeps his jet—and settling into the helicopter. I sighed at the familiar sight of the hacienda. I enjoyed traveling, but I missed the quiet of the mountains. After two and a half months, I was glad to be… Well, I guess this was home. Whether I liked it or not, it was home.
It was almost lunchtime when we landed on the helipad. Patrón came down to the pad as we were getting out. My heart leapt when I saw him and I looked away so he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes. I had missed him. As much as I cared for Mark, I still loved Patrón. I couldn’t help it.
He greeted the men and I waited near the back of the helicopter for them to finish. I still wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to go lie down.
I was picking at my cuticles when Patrón approached me. “Hello, Kyra. Did you have a good time?” His voice made my heart pound.
I looked up at him. “Yes, Patrón. Thank you for the opportunity t—” Without warning, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. A real kiss. Like he kissed me when he loved me.
One arm wrapped tightly around my waist, a hand tangled itself in my hair, and it took a few seconds for my brain to catch up to what was happening. His tongue demanded entry into my mouth and I didn’t react right away, but he kept kissing me. I finally parted my lips and he groaned as his tongue touched mine—stroking, teasing, thrusting. I clung to his upper arms and knew if he let go, I would fall to the ground.
When he finally pulled away—who knew how long later—he didn’t let me go. My lips were swollen and likely bruised. I stared up into his gray eyes in bewilderment. His hand untangled from my hair and moved around to stroke my cheek as his eyes grew soft and my breath hitched in my throat.
I had longed to see his eyes soft again but had been certain I never would. My mouth moved, wanting to say something, but I couldn’t come up with anything. I wanted to say his name, but was afraid.
“Hello, Kitten,” he said in a soft, tender voice. “I missed you.”
I stared at him. Was this a dream? I still couldn’t speak.
“You being gone made me realize what light you brought into my world. With you gone… it was dark. Darker than it had been before I met you.” He kissed my forehead. “I was going to send you home when you returned, but…” He shook his head. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Kitten. I can’t let you go. I love you too much.”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to affirm my love for him, but I was afraid this wasn’t real.
He continued to stroke my cheek and gaze into my eyes. “I love you, Kyra. I need you.” He leaned down and kissed me again, gentler this time. When he pulled away, I saw tears in his eyes.
Who was I to bring tears to this hard man’s eyes? Part of me wanted to push him away, to make him hurt the way he’d hurt me by pushing me away. I’d given him my all, and he’d literally pushed me into the arms of other men to be used as they liked. He’d been unbelievably selfish.
But at the same time, he was a broken man. With what happened with his wife and the Army, who could go through something like that and be unaffected? Unafraid to love again? Unafraid to hope again? It wasn’t selfishness that made him push me away. It was fear—plain and simple fear. I know he still loved me the whole time. Mark and Pasha told me the same thing. But he was scared. Was it so unlike what I’d done when
Jason had asked me out? I’d been suspicious and almost didn’t take the chance, but I did, and it had been wonderful. Of course, I had no idea I’d wind up kidnapped and taken to another country, but I had loved Jason and been loved in return for the first time in my life. And even though I’d been kidnapped and brought to Nathan, hadn’t it ended up okay? Well, until he pushed me away. But, again, that was the fear taking control of him. He wasn’t an evil man; he made the best of what he’d been given in life.
I could see in his eyes he realized what he’d done. His eyes were so full of remorse it made my heart ache. How could I not forgive him for acting out of fear?
“You hurt me,” I said in a cracked whisper.
Nathan nodded solemnly. “I know, Kitten.” He pressed his lips together and his eyes turned even more sad. “I can never undo what I did, but I promise, I will never, ever push you away again.”
The combination of forcefulness, emotion, and sincerity in his eyes broke down my defenses. “I love you, too,” I whispered, reaching up to stroke his scruffy cheek.
“Say my name, Kitten,” he said, his voice full of emotion.
“Nathan,” I whispered as his lips crushed against mine once more.
He pulled away and took my hand. “Let me show you how much I’ve missed you,” he said, pulling me by my hand toward the path back to the house. I followed him and we passed by four very shocked men. “We can debrief this evening after dinner,” Nathan said and then glanced at me. “Maybe tomorrow.”
Mark clenched his jaw as Nathan pulled me away. I turned away and walked back to the hacienda with Nathan. I hoped Mark would understand.
I snuggled close to Nathan under the covers, my head resting on his sculpted chest, my arm wrapped around his trim stomach, my knee resting on his hard thigh. His hand was in my hair, caressing the back and side of my head. We had made love several times yesterday afternoon and evening and just finished another long session this morning.
“I hope I don’t get you sick,” I said worriedly, running my fingers across his defined abdominal muscles.
“I don’t care if you do,” he murmured. “I have many months of loving to make up for.” He scooted down and rolled to his side to face to me. “I’m so sorry for what I did to you,” he said, tears in his eyes. “It was so, so wrong of me.”
I ran my hand across his cheek, now even more scruffy than it had been the afternoon before. “I know you were scared,” I said in a soft voice, wincing as I thought back over the last several months. “It hurt.”
“I hated watching you with the other men, but I forced myself to. I thought it would make the pain go away eventually. I wanted to be jaded again, like I’d been before you got to me, but it didn’t work. All I did was make myself miserable.” He caressed my cheek. “And you.” He chuckled. “When you came down with those bruises from Ajani and Toby, I was ready to go castrate them.”
I loved his protectiveness. “They didn’t do more than I let them. They pushed me, but I know they would have stopped if I’d asked them to.” I giggled. “That was an… a different night than I’d had before.” I looked up and winced at the jealousy in his eyes. “Sorry.”
He shook his head, a wry look on his face. “I can’t really say anything. I’m the one who pushed you to do it. I could even take responsibility for it. I wouldn’t let Mark have you that night.” He cupped my cheek as his eyes pleaded for understanding. “Will you forgive me? For the horrible things I said to you? For hurting you? For tossing you away in my fear?”
I nodded. “Yes. Of course. Just… please don’t do it again. I don’t think I could handle it.”
He pulled me close. “I’m never letting you go again. I never want to see another man’s hands on you.”
We finally made it out of bed at lunch time. I was feeling better. Or I think it was more the fact that being with Nathan, kind Nathan, kept me from thinking about being sick. Whenever I felt nausea or achy, I just pushed it away. I didn’t want to be sick right now. I had my Nathan back.
There were many delighted looks when we came downstairs together. A few of the girls were in the living room and they ran over to welcome me home. They gave Nathan curious looks and he beamed at them and put his arm around my waist. Amé giggled and clapped and hugged me so hard I could hardly breathe.
“As much as I like having sex with Patrón, I would much rather him be happy with you,” she said. “That makes everything better.”
I grinned and hugged her back. “Thanks, Amé.” I wasn’t jealous; we’d talked many times about it.
“Come, Kitten,” Nathan said, taking my hand. “I’m hungry.”
I giggled. We barely ate dinner last night and didn’t eat breakfast this morning. We were busy doing other things.
The girls hurried to their dining room and I walked with Nathan to the main dining room. It had been over six months since I’d eaten in here.
Austin looked up with surprise on his face as Nathan pulled the chair out for me. I’d slept with him several times since he’d been here. He wasn’t particularly nice, but he wasn’t really mean, either. He just did as he pleased and didn’t care if I enjoyed it. He gave Nathan a wary look as he sat down.
“Austin, anything that happened between you and Kyra is in the past. As long as you know she is mine again, that’s all that matters.”
He cleared his throat. “Of course, Nathan.”
Mark came in a moment later and took his seat next to me. I played with the napkin on my lap. When Nathan began talking to Colin and Austin about the project they were working on, Mark touched my hand lightly.
“Kyra, it’s okay. I’m glad he finally woke up about you.” I looked at him and saw a genuine smile on his face. “Yeah, it would have been nice to be with you, but…” he glanced at Nathan, “…this way I get my good friend back and I can be friends with you.”
“I’m sorry, Mark,” I whispered.
“Don’t apologize, Kyra. Really. I knew you still loved him while we were traveling. I was hoping he’d realize what an ass he’d been while we were gone.” He shrugged. “Mostly.”
I laughed softly. I was thankful he wasn’t upset. And it didn’t seem like he was eager to retire, either. He hadn’t mentioned it since that one night. I wonder how much of those thoughts had been alcohol induced.
After lunch, Nathan told Mark he would meet him in his office in a little while and then took my hand and led me out into the yard. I giggled as my bare feet hit the grass.
“I love that sound,” Nathan murmured.
“What sound?”
“The sound of your laughter.” He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “God, I was such an idiot, Kyra. I don’t know why you’ve forgiven me, but I’m glad you did. I don’t deserve you.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his silk shirt. “I’m just glad you’re back to my sweet Nathan.”
He laughed. “I’ve never thought of myself as sweet.”
“You are. You can be.” I tilted my head and smiled at him. “Kind… thoughtful… incredibly handsome.”
“Only because of you, Kitten. I’m a better man because of you.”
I tipped my head back and looked up at him. “Mark said you were the man he met and respected again.”
A pained look crossed his face. “I don’t think I deserve him, either. He’s been so loyal all these years.”
“The guys really respect you, Nathan. And the girls adore you.”
He cupped my cheek. “I adore you and only you.” He grinned suddenly. “I have something for you.” He reached into his pants pocket.
“My ring?” I exclaimed as he held out his hand to me. The diamond sparkled in the sunlight. It looked so small in his big hand.
I clasped my hands over my mouth as he knelt in front of me. “I love you, Kyra. I don’t deserve for you to forgive me, but you did. I will do everything in my power to make up for hurting you. I want to commit my life to you in a way that will bind u
s together forever. Will you marry me?”
Tears of joy filled my eyes as I nodded. He took my hand and slipped the ring on my left ring finger.
“Back where it belongs,” he whispered before pulling me close and kissing me soundly. I leaned against him and he lost his balance and fell backward, pulling me on top of him.
I giggled against his mouth and pressed my hips against him. His hands found their way under my dress and caressed my ass as he kissed me. “Mmm, I hope debriefing doesn’t take too long,” he murmured and rolled me to my back, lying on the grass beside me. Trailing his fingers down my cheek to my collarbone, he leaned down and kissed the tops of my breasts then looked up into my eyes. “Marry me tomorrow. We can fly into Panama City in the morning.”
I grinned and nodded. “Okay.” My heart soared. He loved me. And tomorrow he would be my husband. Life was good.
“Why don’t you move your things back into our room while I’m meeting with Mark?” Nathan suggested as we walked up the steps to the courtyard.
I grinned. “Alright.” He kissed me again and I went to the women’s house. I hoped the girls would be willing to help me. I didn’t know where my stuff was from the trip.
I found Amé, Laurie, and Julia sitting against the wall of the garden.
“So, things are going well?” Julia asked as I walked to them.
I grinned and held up my ring. They shrieked and ran over to me.
“Oh, Kyra!” Laurie said, hugging me tight. “I’m so glad. Patrón has been so miserable.”
Julia nodded. “Especially when you were gone. He wouldn’t admit it, but I could tell he was.”
The other girls nodded in agreement. “Things were so much… I don’t know… relaxed when you two were together,” Amé said. “I am looking forward to that again.”
I asked them to help me move my stuff and they readily agreed.
“The Russians were upset when they got here and you weren’t here,” Amé said as we walked up the stairs, our hands full of my things.
“Why do you say that?”
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