Valor's Calling

by Kal Spriggs

  ***

  Ashiri Takenata stared at me later that week, when I finally had time to talk with her about it, “Well, yeah, of course you need to sign up for the Cadet Instructor position. Alex and I already have. You've switched over to tactical track, right?”

  “Not yet,” I admitted. “I've just been so busy...”

  “Jiden!” Ashiri shook her head. “Just do it now, okay? Not later, not tomorrow, not when you get time, do it now!”

  I stared at her. She put her hands on her hips and I sighed and pulled out my datapad, “You're acting like my mother.”

  “Maybe that's the only way to get you to budge,” Ashiri snorted.

  I ignored her as I pulled up the administrative site on my datapad. I hesitated as I stared at the track change form. I'd actually filled everything out already. I just hadn't submitted it yet. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and hit the send button. I hated making irrevocable decisions.

  “Good, now sign up for the Cadet Instructor course,” Ashiri waved her hand. “Get it done with, let's go.”

  I opened my eyes and gave her a glare, “You sure are bossy lately.”

  “I'm practicing to be a Cadet Instructor,” Ashiri grinned. “Though I hear you can be bossy too... Biohazard.” I groaned. It seemed like everyone had taken to calling me that. I had my first race coming up soon, I'd lose a weekend for that, then come back into midterms for the semester.

  I was staying on top of my coursework and I'd gone around my squad and checked on everyone. We'd all sort of scattered a bit as we started our separate classes. Originally I'd expected us to stick together, but it seemed like the academy had deliberately split all the companies up. I supposed there was some intent that we become a cohesive class... but I found it really hard to relate to some of my fellow plebes. Especially the ones from Ogre.

  That wasn't entirely fair. Rufus from Ogre wasn't bad. He and Dawson were now on the grav-shell team and every other day I operated as their coxswain. He didn't really talk with me much, but he wasn't rude or mean, not like Bolander.

  Sashi pretty much ignored me. But twice more Bolander had tried to corner me. I didn't know how to fight hand to hand. I'd never done any martial arts. I'd never even thought about it, and I really didn't know where to start.

  Although... “You handled yourself pretty well in the fight in the alleyway,” I said to Ashiri.

  “I have two older brothers,” Ashiri grinned. “I learned how to fight just to survive. But I've also taken koryu and dato-ryu. I'm actually on the koryu team here.” I remembered that now. I'd thought it was sort of silly at the time, but now I sort of wished I'd done that instead of the grav-shell team. She hesitated, “You haven't done any martial arts, have you?”

  “No,” I answered, “I haven't.”

  “I sort of guessed that when Bolander bounced you off the wall,” Ashiri snorted.

  “Spare me my blushes,” I grumbled.

  “It's not really your fault. I guess you just grew up sort of sheltered,” Ashiri smiled. “My childhood was a little rougher. Like I said, I had to learn how to fight to survive.” She sighed, “I really think you should join one of the self-defense classes. But you're doing four hours every day on the grav-shell team, right?” I nodded in reply. “Then you just don't have time.”

  “I guess I could ask for some days off in the evenings,” I thought out loud. Most of the practices in the evenings were rowing practice on stationary machines. Taking a grav-shell out was too dangerous with the afternoon winds common to the desert. I rehearsed controls and such, but that was only so useful at this point.

  “Then I'd recommend Commander Pannja's kerala class,” Ashiri nodded.

  “Kerala?” I asked.

  “It's a modern take on one of the older classes of martial arts, and it's suited for someone our size, rather than some of the other ones that favor bigger people,” Ashiri shrugged. “You'll get more out of it and from what I'd heard, Commander Pannja doesn't mess around. He gets you sparring right away and you'll learn quickly.”

  “Okay...” I said. I wasn't really sure what sparring meant. “I'll ask tomorrow morning, I guess. I've got my first race this weekend, after that we'll see if they even want me on the team.”

  “I'm sure...”

  Alexander knocked on the door frame. We gestured at him to come in and Ashiri went on, “I'm sure you'll do fine. From what Dawson's said, you're picking it up pretty quick. Not that I know much about the sport to judge.”

  “Grav-shell racing?” Alexander scowled. When I nodded in response, he glanced at me, “I hear that Rufus from Ogre is on one of your crews?”

  “Yeah,” I replied, irritated at his protective attitude, “I'm the coxswain for the amateur heat, and then for Cadet Commander Mackenzie's shell in the collegiate varsity heat. Dawson and Rufus are the rowers for the amateur shell.” I was allowed to coxswain for both, since I could go up a level in the competition... just not downwards. Next year, if I stuck with this, I'd only be eligible to coxswain in the varsity level.

  “I don't like that,” Alexander muttered.

  “From what Dawson says, Rufus is alright,” Ashiri said. “For an Ogre, of course,” she amended.

  “I haven't had a problem with him,” I scowled at Alexander. “And it's not like he's going to try to beat on me in front of the whole team.” I'd taken the precaution of walking out to practice with Dawson or Cadet Commander Mackenzie, so I pretty much wasn't ever alone.

  “Yeah, but he might sabotage you some other way,” Alexander growled. “He could tweak the controls on one of those grav-shells or loosen a bolt or something.”

  I rolled my eyes, “Please, if he did that, he'd risk hurting himself when we go out!”

  “Not if he does it to your other shell,” Ashiri said thoughtfully.

  “You don't think he'd risk getting kicked off the team just to injure me or make me look bad?” I looked between them. “Look, getting accepted on a varsity team is a big thing. We all earn bonus points for our companies and ourselves based off performance. And with how fast those shells could go, anyone fiddling with one is as likely to kill someone as hurt them.”

  “That's why I don't like you doing it,” Alexander growled. “Someone's already tried to kill you once.”

  “Twice,” I muttered.

  “Wait, what?” Ashiri and Alexander both asked at the same time.

  “I'm not sure about the second time,” I didn't meet their eyes. As they stared at me, I explained quickly about the burst pipe and how Sashi, of all people, had saved me. I put emphasis on how Commander Bonnadonna had been standing there, watching me.

  “You think he was involved?” Ashiri asked, shaking her head. “That's a big stretch. Anyone could have tapped into the monitors and saw you running up those stairs. And that's even assuming that it wasn't an accident.”

  “A burst pipe could be staged,” Alexander hedged. “You can buy a pipe-bursting kit on the planetary network, they sell them for pranks and such, and you can activate one with a wireless signal. But unless he knew you'd be running up that staircase, I don't know how he could have prepared.”

  “But he was right there,” I said. I felt somehow certain that he'd been involved. “He didn't even try to grab me.”

  “Maybe he saw Sashi right behind you,” Alexander said.

  “Yeah, and if he knows anything about our family history, he certainly wouldn't have expected her to catch me,” I scoffed. Granted, I hadn't known a thing about that rivalry until last year, but everyone else seemed to know. I really wish my mom had told me some of this stuff... But then again, my mom had pretty much closed the book on this part of her life. She'd never gone to the Academy, she barely talked to her mother, the Admiral. For all I knew, she didn't even know about it.

  “Maybe, maybe not,” Alexander pursed his lips. “But it still seems a stretch... I mean, he's the ethics teacher, you really think he's the one gunning for you?”

  “Why not?” I asked. “He was off-
world on assignment with the Guard Marine Corps. That might be where he linked up with off-world smugglers.”

  “That seems pretty far-fetched,” Ashiri frowned. “Besides, do you think Admiral Armstrong would let him teach ethics here if she didn't trust him?”

  I didn't have an answer to that, but for all I knew, she was using me as bait to bring out my attacker. “Well, he's new to the school,” I ticked off fingers, “he doesn't seem to like me, and he would know how to use a ML-7, plus he was at the site of that accident, so that's four indicators.”

  Alexander frowned, “It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.”

  “Well, we have two other new instructors,” Ashiri said. “Commander Pannja and Commander Scarpitti. Other than that, there's a dozen or more staff, it could even be one of the cadets...”

  “Doesn't make sense for it to be someone on staff,” Alexander shook his head. “Staff wouldn't have access to cadets. Cadets are under constant observation. Do you really think that any of us would have the time and opportunity to try to kill Jiden? Whoever wants to kill her would want to be able to get close to her, maybe even find out what she knows.”

  “Commander Bonnadonna used me as an example in class,” I said, “maybe he was fishing for information.”

  “I think you're just bitter over that,” Ashiri scowled. “I don't see it, sorry.”

  “Well, I'll keep an eye on him, anyway,” I grumbled in reply. I didn't understand why the other two didn't see it. It wasn't enough for me to take to the Admiral, sure, but I thought my friends would believe me.

  “Well, whether or not he was behind that incident, I still think you should drop grav-shell racing,” Alexander said. “It's too dangerous...”

  “You aren't in charge of me,” I snapped. “I like the races, okay? I'm not going to live in a safe bubble.” It felt like when I was with the grav-shell team was the only time someone treated me like I was human. Even my friends had taken to bossing me around. “Anyway, if you guys are done, I need to get to sleep, I've got to get up early for practice.”

  I saw them roll their eyes, but I didn't care, I was tired, I was stressed. Someone was trying to kill me, Bolander wanted to pound me into a mass of bruises, and I felt like my friends were pushing me into something I didn't want.

  I didn't say anything as Alexander left and Ashiri closed the door. She left the light on, she still had several assignments to work on, I knew. I wanted to apologize, I knew they were trying to help. But all the same, I felt like they wanted to do things their way.

  And right now, I didn't want to do things their way. I was tired of doing things everyone else's way. I'd made the decision to come here... and some part of me was wondering if that had been the wrong decision. I'd thought that I could make a difference, that maybe I could protect people, people like my family and friends.

  Instead, I felt exhausted, confused, and tired. I'd thought this was my calling... but what if I'd been wrong? What if I simply wasn't good enough, smart enough, or strong enough? What if I failed... or worse, what if I caused other people to fail?

  I lay there in my bunk, trying to sleep, but just staring at the ceiling above me. Long after Ashiri shut off the light, I lay there, wondering, worrying.

  ***

  Chapter Eleven: Barely Scraping By

  As the day of my first official grav-shell race arrived, I really worried that I was going to throw up. Somehow, I knew that wouldn't help with my new nickname. I walked down in the dark, it wasn't even two in the morning. We had to load up and we'd have a three hour flight, from what I understood.

  “Biohazard!” Mackenzie greeted me as I arrived at the shed. “We already got the shells loaded in the cargo bay, go ahead and get loaded up!”

  I glanced at my datapad, “Sorry, sir, am I late?” I'd checked the schedule three times the previous night, just to be sure I'd be there on time.

  “No, you're good. Normally we don't have the coxswains help with loading the shells. You're not all that tall, so it's just awkward trying to get things in position with most of us rowers being two meters tall,” Mackenzie grinned. “But if it makes you feel better, you can go check out our work and see that we loaded everything right.”

  “Thanks, sir,” I replied. It wouldn't hurt, I figured, to make sure that they'd been loaded right and I could verify that Rufus from Ogre hadn't sabotaged the Daisy. Not that I thought he would, but it didn't hurt to check.

  I walked over to the cargo skimmer and then up the ramp. The Daisy was the varsity grav-shell I'd been using and I started towards it first.

  “Miss Armstrong,” Commander Bonnadonna's deep voice startled me. “Good morning to you.”

  I spun around, not having seen him in the shadows near the ramp. His short, broad stature made him look menacing, and the way the cargo bay's lights made his eyes and teeth glitter gave me a chill.

  “Sir,” I felt my heart race. If he was the one trying to kill me, then this might well be the perfect opportunity. I half expected him to draw a pistol and confront me, like some kind of holovid villain.

  “Just checking the manifest,” he nodded. “Sometimes plebes try to sneak off campus. We wouldn't want anyone having any fun, now would we?” He gave me a slight smile, as if he'd said something particularly amusing.

  I smiled weakly, “No, sir.”

  “Good luck, Miss Armstrong,” he nodded at me and stepped out of the shadows and down the ramp. As soon as he'd departed I started looking over the Daisy, examining it for any sign of tampering.

  “Biohazard!” Mackenzie shouted a few minutes later, “Get out here, we need to roll!”

  “Yes, sir!” I shouted. I still hadn't had an opportunity to search the Arrow, the amateur shell, but I'd be certain to do it when we landed. If he's the one who was working with the smugglers, then I'm not going to let him do me in that easily...

  ***

  The skimmer flight left me feeling remarkably nervous. I tried to sleep. Most of the rest of the team slept, passed out in their seats, some of them snoring softly. Except for Rufus from Ogre, he managed to snore loudly over the drone of the skimmer's engines, his head thrown back and his mouth wide open.

  I had to fight the urge to throw something at him. It wasn't his fault. I just couldn't sleep. I was by the window and part of me was watching for a missile to come streaking in at us. Nothing happened, though, we just continued on over the desert.

  That sense of dread stayed with me though. I pulled out my datapad and started working on some of my homework. I had a hard time focusing though. I felt like my mind just ran in circles. I had classes to study, I had my duties as a plebe, I had to deal with Bolander before she cornered me and beat me to a pulp, and someone was trying to kill me.

  “How's it going?” A soft voice spoke from over my shoulder.

  I started, I'd thought I was the only one in the skimmer awake besides the pilot. I looked over to see Mackenzie kneeling next to my seat. “I'm good, sir,” I responded automatically.

  “Sure you are,” he shook his head. “I know you're stressed out, plebe year is hard. But don't be afraid to reach out for help. And when someone asks you how you're doing, you can tell the truth.”

  “I'm afraid of failing, sir,” I blurted out, not even really sure where the words came from.

  “That's a reasonable fear, Armstrong,” he nodded. “And to tell you the truth, I'm afraid of that myself. Fear of failure means you understand the nature of the risks we all take.” He pursed his lips and in the dim light, he looked particularly thoughtful. “Look, the only advice I can give you is the advice I've been given. None of us are perfect and no one should rightly expect a perfect solution from you. What people will expect is your best. And from what I've seen of you so far, Jiden, you don't have it in you to give anything less than your best. So just keep up the good work and carry on.”

  “Yes, sir,” I nodded, “thanks.”

  “No problem, now get some sleep,” he said, “I don't want you passing out while we're
speeding along the ground at fifty K-P-H.”

  “That would be bad, sir,” I replied. He stood and moved back to his seat and I tucked my datapad away and sat back. It took me a moment to realize that he'd used my first name. I hadn't even known that he knew my first name.

  I closed my eyes, thinking about that and how much I liked his smile. I wasn't sure when I fell asleep, but I didn't have any nightmares.

  ***

  We landed at the outskirts of Duncan City and unloaded near the racing track. It wasn't much to look at, especially not in the twilight just before sunrise. It was just a flat stretch of desert, roped off, with stretches of seating being assembled as we watched.

  I helped to unload our food and drink supplies, even as the rowers got our grav-shells out and racked on the portable stands. From what I understood, they'd be inspected by race officials and then we'd race. I was a bit nervous because the varsity race was one of the first of the day.

  I walked over to the racks to look over the Arrow, the grav-shell I'd use for the amateur race, and I ran into Commander Scarpitti. The tall woman was speaking with one of the female rowers, and as I came forward, I recognized Cadet Salter. I hadn't seen much of my former Cadet Instructor at the practices, she had her own coxswain and she mostly kept to herself. “Yes, I'm very glad to be invited to attend. I was a grav-shell rower all four years on a women's shell,” Commander Scarpitti was saying.

  “Thanks for agreeing to come, ma'am,” Cadet Salter replied. “I know you've got a busy schedule...” She looked over and saw me, then waved me over, “Here's another of our female team-members, ma'am.”

  “Ah, yes, Armstrong!” Commander Scarpitti smiled. “You're the only female plebe on the team, did you know that?”

  “Uh, no, ma'am, I guess I hadn't noticed,” I admitted. I'd been aware there was a separate female-only set of heats, but I didn't know if there were even any female plebes who'd be interested in the sport. Much like the difference between varsity and amateur, women could race on the men’s teams but not the other way around.